Flame of Winter
by Ahrorha
Summary: Solas doesn't arrive alone at Haven. He and his companion try to do their part in closing the Breach. To find their way in a world that doesn't look kindly on elves and mages. Slowburn Romance [SolasxOC] Rated M for smut, violence, etc If you don't want to be spoilered, go play DAI and Trespassers
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone

This my first attempt at a fanfic, it is my first one and starting to get a long and big project, but I love every word I put on paper.

If you like Solas, slow burn romances and loads of inner feelings and turmoil than this is the story for you.

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If you are not familiar with the story yet I welcome you and I hope you will enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it. ;)

I have written the Elvish sentences in Italic and translated what I could.

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The cover is the beautiful drawing by the talented Noctuaalba (Noctuaalba. tumbrl. com)

You can find it on

ahrorha. tumblr. co m (/post/173327292679/noctuaalba-solas-and-eirlana-for-ahrorha-after) (remove the () and the spaces)

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 **Chapter 1**

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The ground was covered with big green ferns, shadowed by the foliage of massive oak trees. A thick layer of old fallen leaves cushioned his footsteps as he walked towards the ruins. Vine overgrown pillars lay before him where roots had found a hold in cracked walls. Soft mosses grew where once was a mosaic floor. The ruins lay before him abandoned and forgotten in the depths of the Planasene Forest.

Solas' eyes wandered, his memories drifting back to a time this small temple stood in all its glory. He remembered people living here, though he couldn't recall their faces or names. Time had consumed those, like so many other things forgotten, lost in ages past.

He walked into the heart of the temple towards a grant statue of a wolf. His hands glowed with magic as he mumbled in the old Elvhen language. With a click, a panel under the statue sprang free. Solas was relieved that the old wards and spells were still intact. He conjured a small hovering light as he descended the stairs. Guided by his memories he walked the dark abandoned corridors, his feet disturbing the dust accumulated over the centuries. He turned left and expected a door. Puzzled he stood still when the passage kept going. He thought hard, but the memories of the exact location where he had left the tome eluded him. Sitting down against the wall and dimming the light, he closed his eyes to enter the Fade. Maybe a spirit would know where to find it.

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He walked through the temple from the past, brightly lit by numerous magical candles. Shimmers of the People who once lived here faded in and out of his sight. The spirits mimicking what once was, faint memories, remnants of the past. A sentinel guard walked past him on his route, protecting this place as he always had. Solas hoped he could find a spirit with the knowledge he needed.

He suddenly halted when he had reached the statue of the wolf. Something was changing. He felt a soft ripple in the Fade; it reacted to something other than himself. His ears picked up the voice of the sentinel that had passed him earlier.

"Atish'all vallem, Fen'Harel elathadra."

"Nuvenas mana helanin, dirth bellasa ma."

It was his greeting asked at every visitor not known by the guards. Something unknown had come to this part of the Fade.

A soft female voice answered, "Ar-melana dirthavaren. Revas vir-anaris."

"Amae lethalas." replied the sentinel.

Solas readied himself, someone was with him in this memory. How he didn't know. People didn't went this deep in the Fade, especially one who spoke Elvhen. Who living now, would even know of the greeting of Fen'Harel?

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An elven girl walked cautiously into sight, looking around. She was skin and bones, clad in rags, filth covered, her pale hair matted and tangled. She seemed like a ghost, but Solas knew better. She was no regular person but someone who could focus her will deep into the Fade, a dreamer. He had to be careful.

She startled when she saw him. Before he could react or say anything, she rushed towards him, grabbing his arms. "Why are you here? Are you dreaming here somewhere?"

Solas was stunned. Who was she? How was she able to enter this part of the Fade? Hollow, pale blue eyes locked with his grey-violets.

"You have to leave now! Or THEY will catch you. Where are you dreaming?" her voice and eyes were full of fear and panic. He was taken aback, suspicious about her intentions.

She seemed to sense his emotions and let go of him, taking a few steps back. "It doesn't matter where. Just wake up and leave at once. Don't go to the south of these ruins. I will lead them aw... ."

Suddenly she screamed and clutched her neck as if she was in severe pain and disappeared.

Shaken Solas woke up in the underground corridor, he moved quickly, leaving the chambers and sealed the door again. There were voiced in the distance, covered by the greenery he carefully he moved closer.

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"Tell me what you have found! ANSWER me!" a deep voice bellowed.

There was a loud slap, and a woman yelled out in pain. She was being hit.

"I found not much." her timid voice spoke. "There is a small amount of gold. I will show you."

"Is that ALL!?"

Solas watched the scene from a collapsed niche. Three men and a templar were standing around the elven woman from the Fade. She lay on the ground and looked in a worse state than he had seen her in. She was emaciated, filthy, bruised. Her wrist and ankles were shackled and chained, and a thick iron collar was around her neck. She slowly sat up. "This was a house of Fen'Harel."

"So what!"

"He didn't value wealth, I doubt the gold is from that era. It was probably hidden here by someone."

House of? He didn't value? How did she know this? Her choice of words was strange. He felt a fury slowly ignite in him as she was dragged by her hair on her feet. Stumbling she guided them to some loose stones, where they found a small sack of coin. At first, they seemed content, their eyes shining as they quickly ransacked the stash. Weak the elven woman slumped to the ground, panting irregularly. Her falling down got the templars attention, and he walked up to her. He kicked her hard in the stomach, making her yell out in pain. She curled up, coughing violently, vomiting a bright blue liquid.

The templar looked at her in disgust. "Useless." he muttered.

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Suddenly the templar turned into an ice block before her eyes. An elf stormed out of the greenery striking the frozen templar with his staff, shattering him into thousand pieces. Standing in front of her he formed a protective bubble around them. Ice and lightning crackled through the air as he fought her startled captures. They looked in horror at his display of powers and tried to flee in terror. Before they could disappear into the woods two of them lie dead on the ground, the third managed to get away.

Out of breath, Solas leant heavily on his staff, he was still getting used to performing magic with the Veil in place. It severed his direct interaction with the Fade. He felt weak after his long slumber, his body hadn't fully recovered yet. Slowly he calmed down. He focussed his attention on the young elf still lying on the ground. She stared at him petrified, her big pale blue eyes shadowed by dark circles. What had they done to her?

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He knelt in front of her to examine her wounds. She fearfully scrambles backwards. His eyes emitted pity as he smiled to calm her down.

"I am not going to hurt you." he said softly.

He slowly approached her again. Carefully he removed her shackles from her wounded wrists and ankles. She must have worn these chains for a very long time, under them her skin was discoloured and almost gone. Where the shackles had cut deeply into her flesh, there were bloody festering wounds. Everything was sore and red inflamed and must be extremely painful. He had to move slowly with her flinching and shivering with every move he made. Having removed the shackles only the collar was left, but Solas was hesitant to remove it. Strange runes were engraved on it, and they emitted a strange, bleak aura. When his hands reached for it, she abruptly grabbed his wrist.

"Don't the lyrium..." her eyes went big with terror. She quickly let him go as if she burned herself and cowered before him. "I... I am sorry."

Solas recognised this fear. He had seen the same terror, in the eyes of some of the slaves he had set free in the past. In a calm voice, he asked. "What lyrium?"

Fearfully she looked up at him, her body still pressed to the ground. "The collar, it blocks magic. I will be pulled into the Fade again otherwise."

He thought back at her abrupt screaming departure from the Fade.

"They gave you lyrium?" remembering the blue liquid she had coughed up earlier.

She nodded. Slowly he got a picture of their practices. By giving her lyrium, they forced her into the Fade. Judging from their earlier conversations to look for lost treasures. The collar was used as a safeguard, controlling her, rendering her defenceless.

Anger spread across his face, and she shrunk shivering into a ball, terrified she had done something wrong, that she had displeased him by grabbing him.

Solas forced himself to calm down. He needed to take care of her first. "I am sorry. Can you walk?"

He helped her to her feet and guided her through the ruins to a small river, that flowed through the former gardens. He put down his pack and took soap and a washing cloth out from it.

"Here, clean yourself. I will look for some things to treat your wounds."

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She watched him going back. Not wanting to disobey she lowered herself into the stream. It was painful but refreshing. Slowly she removed her tattered clothes, the cool water splashing against her bare skin. Wondering how long it had been, she started to rub herself clean.

Solas looked for the belongings of the killed men, he needed a lot of clean cloth. The state she was in was horrifying. Three horses stood grazing just outside the ruins. Several bags lay beside them, together with an open wooden box that had bindings in it and some holes. Feeling sick to his stomach he set it on fire.

"These savages! I killed them too quickly."

He ransacked the bags for food, bandages and other useful items. He found a casing with several bottles of lyrium, that they had used to poison her. With his anger still burning within him, he smashed them. After setting the horses free, he set out to find some fresh elfroot.

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When Solas returned, he found her sitting on the bank, crouched together and shivering uncontrollably. Her matted and tangled long dull white hair covering her naked body. She was cleaner, making her scars and bruises on her skin only more visible. Her pale skin was blackened and discoloured in too many places. Her wounds were oozing bloody pus now that they were softened by the water. He could count every bone in her body. Those beasts how dare they do such a horrible thing.

She shied back when he got closer, looking at him wearily. She reminded him of a wounded halla with her white skin and hair, staring at him with her big eyes.

Taking his spare clothes and honey out of his pack he slowly approached her and sat down opposite of her. "Here put this on." he handed her his shirt. It took a moment, but she accepted it, pulling it quickly over her head. It was too big but much better than the rags that lay discarded in the grass.

She flinched as he touched her hand.

"I have to clean your wounds." he said smiling softly at her. She tolerated his touch, but he was careful not to hurt her too much. The wounds went all around her wrists and ankles, scars were visible where the shackles had cut her flesh again and again. He bandaged her with a dressing of honey and elfroot to reduce the inflammation, he didn't dare to heal her magically. A body needs reserves to repair itself, magic sped up that healing process. With her being in such a sorry state it would be devastating for her.

When he was finished, she put on his spare trousers, strips of cloth served as makeshift belts. With his bigger clothes, she looked even smaller than she was.

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Evening was already approaching. Solas got a fire going and boiled some grains and vegetables. She hadn't said a word, and sat at a safe distance, watching him When he gave her a bowl, she devoured the food quickly with the bread he gave her. She was starved. He felt his anger returning. How could this world let this happen? He had tried to stop one abuse, only to create another. His dark thoughts left him when he saw she had stopped eating, eyeing him nervously. She was very impressible.

After they finished their meal, he removed her collar with care. She took a deep breath of relief, and he felt the air around her change, her connection with the Fade renewed.

"Thank you." she whispered.

Her neck was also wounded and scared, but these were more like burns. Where the runes of her collar had executed their power, they had left horrible marks on her flesh. After he had bandaged her, she fell exhausted asleep next to the fire.

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Solas watched her as she slept, mulling over his options. He had no time for delays and needed to travel south to reach the conclave on time. He had gotten word his plans were proceeding as planned, and he needed to be near Haven on time.

The next morning at sunrise he gathered his belongings, she was still deeply asleep. He felt reluctant to leave her, silently he left her a pack with supplies from those thugs and things he had to spare. With one last glance, he made his way into the forest towards Cenar, a small town at the coast used by smugglers and fishermen. For a whole day, he walked through the thick undergrowth and made significant progress. It bothered him he hadn't been able to retrieve the tome and that he had to leave her, but this was for the better. Soon everything would change.

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Night had fallen, and Solas was resting against a big tree, soft moss covered the ground. With his eyes closed, he enjoyed the sounds of the dark. Rodents were rustling through fallen leaves, the air was filled with the high-pitched sounds of bats, and occasionally an owl hooted. He had almost fallen asleep when his ears twitched as he picked up a disturbance. Someone was walking through the night. Slowly he rose his staff in hand, to defend himself if necessary. To his surprise she emerged from among the trees, walking slowly and leaning on a branch she used as a walking stick.

"What are you doing here!? I have no time to look after you." he said irritated.

Not answering she came closer, looking relieved she had found him. She sat down a patch of soft grass nearby, looking weak and tired.

Solas was puzzled at what to do. "I freed you from your captors. You are free to walk your own path."

A hint of a smile showed on her lips, her eyes had lost some of the hollowness. She nodded and then lay down, exhausted she fell almost immediately into a deep sleep.

Solas frowned, he had no time for this. How had she even managed to find him? Walking the lands undetected has always been his speciality. He didn't sleep much that night and was up at dawn resuming his path. Occasionally he would stop and look back, listening. But there were just the wind and the usual forest noises to be heard.

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Refreshing himself at a small stream, he looked at the setting sun. Another day had passed, and he hadn't seen or heard her. As he settled for the night, his eyes kept scanning the forest. The moon was already high in the sky when she came into view once more. Again she looked relieved, her lips revealing a hint of a smile. She slumped against a tree, physically exhausted from the journey.

Seeing her, he was reminded of the People he had freed so long ago, not knowing what to do with their freedom. They sometimes would follow him around, looking for a new purpose.

Slowly she started to unwind the bloody bandages around her ankles. Seeing the damage she had done to herself by following him, Solas shook his head.

He walked towards her summoning a light. "Here let me help."

She flinched as he carefully started to remove the rest of the bandages. The wound looked cleaner, even with all the walking she had done. He dressed it again, while she was observing every move he made.

"What is your name?"

She stared at him, her eyes quickly moving while she was thinking. She was unsure what to do.

"My name is Solas" he smiled at her, hoping it would put her at ease. When she didn't answer, he went on with changing her other bandages.

" I... I don't know, I don't remember." her voice was quiet, trembling, shy, timid.

Solas looked at her pitiful. "You don't have a name?"

"I..." she swallowed. "The spirits call me Eirlana."

Eirlana, the elven name for winter. The name fitted her, she looked like snow with her white hair and skin, her eyes pale blue like the winter-sky. "The spirits?"

She nodded. "They are my friends."

He stopped with what he was doing and looked her in the eyes, she was no ordinary girl to call spirits her friends. She flinched again under his stare, it pained him to see her own spirit so crushed. What had she endured? How long had she suffered? When he finished dressing her wounds, she moved back from him, putting some distance between them.

Settling back against a tree Solas closed his eyes. What was he is going to do about her?

"Thank you Solas" her shy voice drifted towards him. He smiled at her "You're welcome."

He felt a pull into the Fade as a soft blue hue surrounded her hands. She moved her hands slowly along her legs the healing magic spun fine, like a wisp of morning mist.

"What are you doing?"

The magic disappeared as she flinched again, she clearly wasn't used to normal conversations.

"I haven't walked much in this world."

Her short answer told him a whole story.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

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Early the next morning Solas looked at Eirlana sleeping in the grass again. He had many questions about her. She was able to communicate with spirits, had even gained a name from them and from what he could witness yesterday a remarkable control of her magic. But he had no time, he had to move on and reach Cenar today. Tomorrow he would embark on a ship to Fereldan. With one last glance at her, he left her for a third time.

It was late afternoon when he entered the small town. It was crowded, some sort of market was being held. There was music, several merchants were praising their wares, a storyteller told his tales. Solas walked through the crowds with ease, most people didn't even look his way. He was just another elf. His eyes wandered over the stalls as he walked over the market.

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"A gif' for ye girl?"

Solas blinked at the old elven woman as he stood by her stall. In his hands was a fine carved wooden comb decorated with several flowers painted light blue. "Excuse me?"

"Its fine work it is, me son makes them. I've others as well."

Her accent was crude, her ears the only thing that made her elven. How low the People had fallen.

"Need somethin els? May'b a nice necklace?"

Solas stared a while at the comb in his hand. This was madness he thought when he bought the comb, a simple dress, footwrappings and a light blue scarf.

"Pleas're doing business, she will like it." the old woman greeted him.

What was he doing?

At another stall, he bought a cloak, honey, healing salves and bandages.

Settling down in one of the inns, he questioned his own actions. What had gotten into him? He couldn't afford any distractions. His path was set.

That evening he waited but she was nowhere to be seen, and he retired to his room as the night grew darker. He was worried and relieved at the same time, hoping she finally had given up at following him.

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In the early morning Solas walked amongst the dunes along the coast towards the meeting place with the smugglers. It was past noon when behind some cliffs the anchored ship came in sight, at the beach a few men were waiting for him. They greeted him with a nod, not asking questions. They knew their task and moved to the rowboat. Solas hesitated, he watched back at the dunes he had just crossed.

The sailors looked at each other puzzled. "Sir?"

Then she came over the dune, walking slowly but steadily towards them leaning on her stick. Solas had to admire her strength. He hadn't slowed down his pace since he met her. Yet she had made up for it by sheer will, even wounded and weakened as she was. He turned around and stepped into the boat.

The men were confused but waited for her to join. She hesitated for a moment eyeing these new people suspiciously. Solas had to smile, she really resembled a weary halla. He reached his hand out to her, she took it after a while and stepped into the boat. The men pushed the boat into the water and rowed them out to the ship that was waiting for them.

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The captain greeted Solas and led him to a small cabin below deck. Not knowing what she should do, Eirlana followed them, staying close. A few of the crew glanced at her with her borrowed clothes, bandages, matted hair and bruised face. She didn't like the stares, and she got as close to Solas as she dared. In the cabin, Solas put his belongings down and turned towards her. She stood there nervous and jumpy from the noises the ship and crew made as they set sail. He asked himself for the fiftieth time what he was thinking. He must be out of his mind.

"Come." he gestured for her to sit down on the berth as he unpacked the things he had bought the previous day. She hesitated for a moment then sat down. Shaking his head at his own actions, he placed the bundle of clothes and the salve in her hands.

"I hope they fit. You can use this on the bruises and smaller wounds."

Closing the door, he left her and went to the captain to discuss their route, paid the fee for her passage and promised to keep her away from the crew.

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Eirlana sat still for a moment, she couldn't believe what had happened the last couple of days. She had never met another person in the Fade in her life. Hoping he wouldn't get caught she had warned him to flee. Never had she imagined he would come to free her. Closing her eyes, she still could see his fury as he fired his magic at her captures. He had freed her, cared for her, fed her.

When she woke up the next morning, and he had gone she panicked. He was the first friendly person she had met, and he somehow felt different. His pull to the Fade was stronger than any she had felt before. Having nowhere else to go, she quickly gathered the things he had left her. Without that cursed collar she could expand her senses and feel his pull, it left a trail she could easily follow. She couldn't really explain why she had gone after him, but she was drawn to him.

Now she had followed him on a ship not knowing where he was heading. After applying some of the salve, she changed into the clothes he had given her and lay down, exhaustion taking her. The last couple of days had been hard, she had never walked so much in her life. When his trail led to the town, she had almost given up, not daring to enter a place with that many people. She was relieved when he had left it this morning. It felt like a leap of fate as she set foot in the rowboat, not wanting to part ways with him yet.

Solas returned to the cabin and knocked softly. He entered silently after she didn't answer. She lay curled up on the bed asleep. The new clothes looked like they fitted her better, but she was still skin and bone. His own clothes lay neatly folded on the small table.

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It was evening, Solas sat in the cabin reading with a light hovering next to him. There was a firm knock at the door. Eirlana awoke with a small frightening yell, retreating to the farthest corner of the narrow bed. Solas answered the door, one of the crew brought them two bowls of stew and a bottle of water. Solas sat them on the small table. Cautiously she came out of the corner her stomach growling.

"Did you sleep well?" he brought her one of the bowls.

She took the bowl and wolfed down the food, looking shifty as if she expected to lose it at any time. Something he was sure she had experienced in the past.

He also ate a little, then taking the new bandages, he cared for her wounds. She seemed less shifty than the previous time he did this. But she withdrew herself as soon as he was finished. The wounds were healing nicely with the honey mixture, healthy pink tissue was beginning to form. After cleaning up, he sat down.

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She flinched as he started to speak. "Eirlana, you have journeyed to the Fade before?" A small nod.

"I have journeyed deep into the Fade myself in ancient ruins and battlefields to see the dreams of lost civilisations. I've watched as hosts of spirits clash to re-enact memories of the bloody past in ancient wars both famous and forgotten. I was surprised when you walked in on me." He waited patiently for her to respond.

"I like the Fade it is calm, the spirits are nice." her voice was still timid, but Solas was glad she answered.

"You mentioned the spirits before, you called them your friends."

"Most spirits don't hurt you, they just want to share what they are, have heard or seen." Eirlana's eyes shone with a little life for the first time. "They tell you their stories, teach you things if you only know how to listen. I have learned a lot from them, they are my friends, and the places you can see in the Fade are beautiful."

Solas looked at her with new admiration, since he awoke he had only encountered ignorance, lies and half-truths about the Fade. The doctrine of the Chantry and their attempts to control magic, with the little understanding they had, were felt everywhere. The Fade was feared, not seen as a place to co-existing with.

"Your name Eirlana, you were given it by a spirit."

The light in her eyes dimmed as she curled up and grabbed her knees. After a long while, she began to speak. "I was bought by a Tevinter mage when I was very young. First I was just a slave, but I don't remember much of that time. Until the day they discovered I had magical talents." Her voice started shaking. "They did things, experiments. Said my connection to the Fade was strong. They sent me into the Fade countless times, each time longer and longer. I got lost, I lost myself, forgot who I was until I met some spirits that helped me. They gave me my name."

Eirlana kept glancing at Solas, as she mentioned her slave life his demeanour grew darker. His eyes shone with anger, sympathy and sadness. He looked lonely sitting at the small table. He reminded her of the old lonely spirits that roam the Fade, looking with the same sadness and loneliness at a world not longer their own.

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Solas took the comb he had bought and sat cross-legged on the bed facing her. "Come this will take a while" he smiled at her showing her the comb. Carefully she moved closer to him her back partially turned to him. He felt her shiver as he touched her, taking a strand of hair. With care and patience, he began to untangle her long white hair. For a while they sat in silence, hearing only the sounds of the wind, the waves of the sea and the creaking of the ship.

"What were you doing at the ruin?" she looked over her shoulder at him.

His eyes glinted at her curiosity. "I was looking for old lost memories of the people who once lived there. Any building robust enough to withstand the rigours of time has a history. They attract spirits, they press against the Veil, weakening the barrier between our worlds. I often visit such places to dream and to find memories no other living being has ever seen."

The room was suddenly so brightly lid, Solas had to cover his eyes.

"I'm sorry!" Eirlana dispelled the orb of intense light she just had created.

Solas had to blink a couple of times. "What were you trying to do?"

"I saw your orb while listening. And I... I somehow created my own."

"I have to ask you not to use magic, while we on the ship. The crewman wouldn't be appreciative of your talents."

Eirlana bit her lip "I am sorry, I will try. It works differently here than in the Fade."

"It's alright." he started to comb her hair again. "Why did they bring you to the ruin?"

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She looked over her shoulder into his eyes for a while. Up close her eyes were beautiful a bright, intense blue surrounded her pupils fanning out in a very pale blue. White specks dotted her iris like small ice crystals. Closing her eyes, she turned her head back hoping her instincts of trusting him were right. "The mage that had bought me and 'discovered' my talents, he somehow lost his status with the magisterium. He hoped to return in their favours again with new forgotten magic." Eirlana started to pluck at her sleeve. "I was a tool, an object to be used until I would be discarded. He forced me into the Fade to search for lost treasures." Solas stopped combing her hair. "At first he brought me to ruins already picked clean by those vultures. We travelled all over Tevinter until we went beyond its borders, further and further into the wilder lands. I gave him just enough to give him hope. Some gold, a useless book, trinkets, just enough to keep me alive. Then that templar and his lackeys found us and the gold. They tortured him to death but not before he had told them about my abilities." Her body started to shiver again, her voice beginning to shake. "They were worse, cruel, monsters. They began, to enrich themselves," her voice broke "to use me."

Eirlana felt herself shiver, the helplessness she had felt most of her life washed over her. She hugged her knees, she hated that feeling. She shook her head trying to get a hold of her emotions, fighting back the tears and her memories. She felt tired and longed for the Fade, the one place she felt safe. Solas had put a hand on her shoulder, rubbing it. The small gesture comforted her.

Solas got up. "Take some rest." then he left.

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Solas walked on the deck, a firm breeze tugged at his clothes. Countless stars shone brightly in the night sky. He leant on the railing and took a deep breath, he felt defeated when he imagined what she must have gone through. He stared into the darkness, not knowing what he should do. He was intrigued by her. Abused and mistreated by everyone she had met, no one had ever taken the time to teach her. She wasn't fully aware of her own abilities, and yet she was able to use the spirits of the Fade to gain knowledge. To be able to travel that deep into the Fade, even with the lyrium forced upon her, he never imagined it would be possible for any now living being. He had heard of the practices of the Circle's, to plunge unaware mages into the Fade, to test them and kill them if they would fail. It was monstrous, barbaric and dangerous. By her account, she had survived that ordeal countless times, without losing herself. She had a strong mind, scared but strong. He was curious to see that strength develop, to see what she would be capable of. But he had a task to fulfil, a mission that couldn't be delayed. There was a little time until then, maybe he could teach her some skills. Hopefully enough so she would survive the chaos that was yet to come.

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The next two weeks they spent travelling towards the conclave. During that short time, Solas already saw her grow. Eirlana became less shifty and more talkative with him. Her hollow eyes shined with new life, her body slowly recovering from her ordeals. Her hair, she wore now in a simple long braid, had a healthier shine to it. They talked a lot about the Fade, magic and spirits they had encountered. Solas was surprised how much he enjoyed her company. He taught her some control over her magic in the waking world, and she was a quick study, sometimes picking up things only from watching him. Often she wasn't even aware how she performed magic, her powers manifested themselves instinctively.

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That morning Solas looked at her, expecting not to see her ever again. They had slept in a barn in a valley not far from the conclave. If only he had more time. With one last look, he set out in the freshly fallen snow.

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Eirlana woke up alone. The place Solas had slept was already cold to the touch. "How many times is he going to do this?" she thought. Brushing off her clothes and gathering her things she went outside to look for him. The fresh snow crunched lightly under her footsteps. The trail Solas made earlier was clearly visible, she followed it out of the valley up the mountain. The sun was shining brightly, turning the snowy landscape in a glittering splendour. "Where did he go?" she mumbled.

Suddenly there was a deep rumbling sound, and in the distance a massive amount of a green coloured magical energy shot into the sky. Holding her breath, she saw the sky being torn open, a loud earth-shattering sound of an explosion reached her. The ground started shaking, snow fell down from the trees as they trembled. Then the shock wave reached her sending her flying back to the ground. Trees bent over and snow was blowing around her.

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Shaken Eirlana slowly rose to her feet, staring at the sky. She could feel the Fade screaming and bleed into this world. It wasn't the sky that had been torn open, it was the Veil. Lightning flashes of magical energy crackled through the sky, she could hear other explosions, see chunks of the Fade being propelled towards the earth.

What had just happened? She hastened in the direction Solas' tracks had went. Reaching out she could feel him further up the mountain. But she could also feel the turmoil the Fade was in, the violence and the chaos. It felt wrong, very wrong.

She found him passing up and down the small path she was on. He was visibly shaken, his eyes narrowed, frowning.

"Solas?"

He halted in his tracks, staring at her. A shimmering green ripple formed behind him, the Veil was weakening. She ran towards him and pulled him away from it. Solas was stunned by the forcefulness of her pull. They both looked from a safe distance as a small tear in the Veil was forming.

"Solas are you alright?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Did you see how that energy ripped the Veil open? I can feel the Fade in turmoil, spirits fleeing, the violence, the panic."

"I witnessed it. I am uncertain what happened. With the Veil torn, spirits will have a door into this world. But with these energies, they most certainly will be corrupted as they are sucked into this world." he closed his eyes and sighed deeply. When he opened them again, his eyes shone with determination. "I have to figure out what has happened and try to repair the damage that has been done somehow. Before this gets worse. There is a town nearby called Haven. When people are gathering to combat this, they should be gathering there. It will probably be crowded with troops and supporters of the conclave. We would be in the middle of chaos, suspicions and preconceptions." His eyes turned to her.

She faced him, she understood the question towards her. Would she be able to endure? Her eyes went up towards the sky, the massive tear looming over them. She swallowed. "I will come with you and help. My friends are in danger if this spreads. I will try to stay strong."

Solas smiled at her and set foot in the direction of Haven.

.

Haven was in turmoil, troops were running around, wounded brought in, clusters of people were praying and crying. Shock, disbelief and desperation were evident on their faces. At first, Solas and Eirlana walked unnoticed amongst the chaos. Eirlana stayed very close to Solas, the presence of several templars was terrifying to her. Solas looked around hoping there would be someone in charge.

A dark-haired woman came out of the gates, wearing the armor of a Seeker. She was barking orders to some troops who set out to scout the area for survivors. She spotted the pair approaching her.

"Who are you?" Cassandra put her hand on her weapon eyeing them suspiciously.

The bald male elf looked well build, confident and calm. He bowed his head a little to greet her. The younger female elf shrunk behind him. She was thin, even for an elf, she looked like a ghost with her white hair and skin. She was scared and shifty, her eyes darted around constantly.

"My name is Solas, and she is Eirlana. We have come to offer our services to help solve this tragic event."

Cassandra narrowed her eyes. Judging from their auras, they were both mages. "Your services?"

"We both have travelled here to hear news of the conclave when this disaster occurred. We want to help with any skills we possess. May we speak with the ones in charge here?"

Cassandra thought for a while. Mages could easily have been responsible for what happened, but they also needed people with knowledge of magic to get a grip on this crisis. "Hand over your weapons and follow me." With Solas staff secured they were led to the Chantry.

.

At a big table stood a tall blond male and a red-haired female, bowed over maps of the region. Several markers were placed on the map indicating rifts and demon sightings. They both looked up when Cassandra walked in with the two elves. "These are Solas and Eirlana, they have come to offer their service. These are commander Cullen and Leliana."

Solas began. "We were staying in a village nearby to hear what the conclave would decide for we both possess magical abilities. I for myself have explored and studied the Fade extensively in my travels. We both witnessed the explosion from afar. I believe the Veil has been torn open and that tear created a ripple effect. We have encountered a few minor tears already on our way here. Through them spirits are thrown into this world and are being corrupted by the forces. I hope we can help to repair the damage that has been done."

"So you're an apostate?" Cassandra's and Cullen's eyes narrowed.

"I haven't studied magic at a Circle if that is what you are implying. Though with the Circles disbanded we are technically all apostates."

"What about you?" Cullen addressed Eirlana, he was getting nervous from her shifty behaviour.

Solas knew he had to stick close to the truth, the best lies are hidden amongst the half-told truths. "Forgive her, I freed her a couple of weeks ago. She is a former slave of Tevinter and fell victim to a rogue templar in the Free Marches. She has been through a lot." Solas didn't know if she did it on purpose, but she brushed some loose hairs behind her ear, showing her bandages around her wrist.

"Maker." Cullen whispered.

Cassandra looked with new eyes at her, better understanding her behaviour. "You freed her?"

"As anyone with a heart would when they see a woman in chains cruelly beaten. We have been travelling together to the conclave ever since. She still has a long road of recovery before her. To answer your question, she has remarkable healing abilities."

.

They were shown to a small cottage to get settled. A short while after Solas was called to a meeting to discuss the rifts. Eirlana was left alone. She sighed, this was harder than she had anticipated. So many people, so much fear in the air it made her dizzy. She needed to get a grip on her emotions. Solas had asked her if she wanted this. If she would be strong enough. She hadn't hesitated with her answer, but now being here was overwhelming.

There was a firm knock at the door. Eirlana flinched, after taking a few deep breaths to calm down, she found her voice. "Yes?"

Cullen opened the door. He saw her take a step back, looking at him suspiciously. Rubbing the back of his neck he didn't really know how to put her at ease. "I am sorry, but they have brought in more wounded, we need your help." To his surprise, she grabbed a small bag from her pack after a few moments.

"Take me to them." She felt herself shiver, but this was what she came here for, she needed to do her part to help mend the Veil.

.

Cullen led her to a large open tent where many soldiers and civilians lay on makeshift beds. Most of them had wounds from the shockwave of the explosion, others had burns or claw wounds from demons that were appearing everywhere.

"Adan, this is Eirlana she is a healer, she has come to help."

Adan let out a disgruntled noise. "Help? We need more of a miracle than help."

Chantry sisters walked around with bandages, herbs and clean hot water for the wounded. One of them handed her an apron. Cries and moans of pain filled the air, a man on a stretcher was brought in, a gaping wound in his shoulder. Another was carried out covered with a cloth, he was dead.

"Are you alright?" Cullen broke her stare.

"I..." she could see his concern in his eyes. "I will be alright... and thank you." Taking a deep breath, she remembered the teachings from the spirits, calming herself down.

"We have to amputate."

"No! Sister, please don't!" A soldier with a horrendous wounded leg was grabbing the sisters wrists pleading to spare his leg. Cullen saw Eirlana's face change, she looked less fragile. A strength appeared in her eyes he didn't expect from this wisp of a woman.

.

Eirlana put on her apron and approached the man who just spoke. Her eyes scanning him and his leg. The soldier looked at her with pleading eyes. "Please! Please don't take it."

She rolled up her sleeves and washed her hands in hot water next to his bed. "I need to clean your wound, it will be alright."

Cullen and several sisters watch her as she set to work. Cassandra had asked Cullen to observe her for a while. He could see her demeanour change, a calming aura spread around her. That calmness hit him like a wave, washing over him. He felt his headache, he had from the lyrium withdrawal, dwindle. He felt serene, it gave him goosebumps. The soldier and several other patients in her proximity also calmed down, the screaming and moaning died down. She then began to carefully remove the shreds of clothing, armor and debris from the leg and cleaned the wound. When she was finished, she lay her hands on the leg and closed her eyes. A blue hue spread from her over the leg and Cullen could see the leg slowly regenerate, picking up speed as the healing progressed. He had seen his fair share of magic over the years the good and the bad, but he had never seen anything like this. Remarkable healing skills indeed.

.

It was late at night when she could return to the cottage. There had been so many wounded, she had worked non-stop for most of the day. Feeling tired and drained she stumbled through the trampled filthy snow almost falling down.

"Woo there Snowflake, try to stay on your feet." A strong arm held her upright. Taking a few steps back she blinked at the dwarf who caught her.

He smiled at her. "I noticed you walking in circles around all these tents. Come I show you to your place." he took a few steps and looked back at her until she followed him. "I am Varric and the most handsome dwarf around here. I can't believe you and that other elf volunteered for this mess. I thought they were kidding me when they told me two apostates just walked into a Chantry camp." When she didn't reply he continued. "You know you remind me of Daisy, she is a Dalish mage. She would also get lost if she were here, though she is more talkative. So I heard you patched up a lot of people since you arrived, are you holding up alright? The healers I know get tired very quickly when they are at work."

"I... I am tired yes."

"So you do have a voice." Varric grinned broadly at her. "A sweet one too. Ah, here we are. It seems your friend Solas also has returned. Well have a good night and take care of yourself." he turned around, leaving her at the door of the cottage.

"Thank you Varric." Varric waved her and headed for the tavern.

.

The next couple of days were no different. Solas studying the rifts, sharing his experiences in the Fade, trying to close the smaller rifts with magic. Eirlana focussed on caring for the wounded as good as she could. The days were long and hectic, but they placed themselves right into the supporting roles that were needed. Nothing changed until the survivor out of the rift appeared.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

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.

Eirlana was walking towards the Chantry. The sun was already setting. She hadn't seen Solas since midday, not since he was called to help with the survivor they had found coming from the rift. She didn't like the Chantry all that praying reminded her of **him**. **He** would chant every night and then do terrible things to her. She had also seen other cruelties done in the name of faith in the Fade. But she had no choice, she was surrounded by the Chantry and its believers since she had set foot in this village. And now she needed to check on Solas, to see if he was okay. Slowly she walked into the building hoping it would be a short visit.

.

Cassandra saw Solas stretch his neck, he had already spent hours trying to stabilise and awaken the survivor. He was getting exhausted. "We need more help." she murmured to herself. She walked to a templar who stood guard. "Bring one of the healers down here to assist." Remembering the report Cullen had given her, she added. "Preferable Eirlana, the elven healer he arrived with."

"Right away Lady Cassandra." he saluted and walked off.

.

Eirlana stood in the Chantry looking around. It was quiet, the faithful and sisters had left for dinner. She closes her eyes to try to locate Solas when the door next to her opened.

A templar walked towards her "You there! Elf! Come with me!"

She took a step back. The templar grabbed her by the arm and pulled her towards him, towards the door leading to the cellars. Fear spread through her like wildfire, she pulled back. "No!"

His firm grip intensified. "Come! Be a good girl, don't be difficult."

The iron glove hurt her. She struggled, trying to free herself. "No, let go of me!"

He yanked at her hard, pain shot through her arm, she almost lost her balance. "Listen to me mage!" A wave of force hit the templar as she pulled herself free from his grasp. He crashed into the wall. In panic, Eirlana ran from the Chantry.

.

In the cellars, they heard the loud crash against the wall. Cassandra quickly walked up the stairs to check it out. She found the templar dazed, trying to get on his feet. "What happened?"

"She, she attacked me."

"Who did?"

"That elf, Eirlana."

Cassandra's face got a grim expression. "Find her! Bring her to me. Unharmed."

"Yes, Lady Cassandra, at once."

Solas watched her as she returned, he had heard the crash and seeing her facial expression something was wrong. "What happened, Seeker?"

She hesitated for a moment. "Nothing that should concern you."

Solas didn't believe her but focussed back on the Anchor trying to retract it.

.

Eirlana had reached the gate of Haven.

"Hey there Snowflake. Where are you going?"

She halted, Varric stood smiling before her. His smile soon disappeared as he saw the state she was in. He noticed blood slowly soaking through her sleeve. "What happened!? You're bleeding!"

She only stared at him, visibly shaken. "Calm down. Tell me what happened."

"There she is!" Eirlana abruptly turned around, three templars were running towards her. She ran, ran as fast as her feet could carry her through the snow, past Cullen into the woods.

Varric tried to catch her, but she was too fast. He quickly pulled Bianca from his back, pulled the trigger and shot an arrow right in front of the approaching templars. They halted.

"Gentlemen! May I ask where you think you are going?"

"None of your business dwarf! Get out of the way!" One of the templars stepped forward. Varric fired another shot in front of his feet. Cullen ran towards them. "What is going on!?" he took a stand next to Varric, blocking the three templars.

"Knight-Captain. We need to capture that mage."

"That is not my title, and that is not your duty any longer. So what happened?"

"She attacked me, kni...Commander. Seeker Cassandra asked us to bring her in."

Cullen hesitated for a split second.

"Snowflake wouldn't just attack you." Varric said with determination.

Cullen was surprised Varric already trusted her after she had only been in Haven for three days. "How do you know that?"

"I am a people person, and you also saw that look on her face."

Cullen knew she had been terrified. Memories of the chaos of the time when the Circle of Kirkwall fell flooded him. Terrified citizens, innocent mages, templars, so many died. "You turn around and go back to your posts."

"But Knight-Captain"

"That is not my title, now back to your post!"

"Yes, Commander." they left, leaving Cullen and Varric. The sun had set, and white snowflakes fell down from the dark sky.

Varric put his crossbow on his back again. "Shit, I best get Solas."

"She ran towards the eastern gates, into the woods."

"Thanks, Curly." Varric hurried to the cottage of them to grab Solas staff and both their coats.

.

Solas let out a sigh, he had managed to stabilise the Anchor but failed to gain its power. It had somehow fused with the survivor. How? He didn't know. The survivor was not in danger any longer, but he doubted that he would regain consciousness ever again. He needed some time to think, to analyse the events, maybe he could find some answers in the Fade. He wanted to get some rest. He had noticed that Cassandra looked more worried after a guard came to report again. She kept giving him glances, something had happened upstairs.

"Your survivor is stable at the moment, but I am unfamiliar with this kind of magic. I need some time to think this through, and how we maybe awaken him."

"Understood."

Cassandra walked with him out of the cellars. "Have you learned anything?"

"The mark seems to have a connection with the Breach. I don't know if he was somehow infused with it in the Fade or that he came in contact with something else. Judging from his armor and physical appearance he is no mage. I have hopes, if we can revive him, we may learn more. Study the magic and maybe somehow use it to reverse the process."

.

Solas halted. They had reached the Chantry doors when Varric came running with his staff and coat in his arms.

"Solas I need to tell you something." Cassandra addressed him.

"What has happened?"

"Eirlana attacked a templar, she has fled."

"More like she was scared into the woods when Cassandra send templars chasing after her." Varric cut in.

"This is none of your business Varric." Cassandra sneered at him.

"Funny that is also what the templars said when I stopped them chasing a terrified girl."

Anger spread through Solas. "What did that templar do!? She wouldn't just attack for no reason." he snapped.

"I don't know, that's why I sent them..."

"You sent the one thing she is terrified of after her!"

Varric handed him his staff. "They didn't make it through the gates. Cullen saw her ran off to the east."

Solas grabbed the coats and his staff.

"Where do you think you are going? The prisoner..."

"I am going to look for her. There are DEMONS out there!" Solas interrupted her.

Solas rushed out of the gates fuming. It was already dark, and thick snow was falling. He had to find her fast before her tracks would be covered.

.

Hours later in the night, he was still searching. He had followed her trail out of the gate into the woods, but with the snow falling her tracks were no longer visible. The Breach in the sky provided enough light to look far and wide, but he hadn't seen any sign of her. So far he had only encountered a few minor demons and some wildlife.

He halted, wondering if he should call off the search. He needed to focus on repairing the Breach, trying to get hold of the Anchor, search the Fade for solutions. Against his better judgement his feet carried him further into the woods.

Then he found her. She was huddled under a tree, her face buried against her knees.

"Eirlana?"

.

She looked up frightened but relieved to see him. She stood up and ran towards him, flinging her arms around him, shivering. She started to cry, shaking. All the tears she hadn't shed in a long time flooded out of her.

Solas froze when she grabbed him, he felt her shaking, her harrowing sobs muffled against his shoulder. He closed his arms around her, holding her. Softly he stroked her hair, rocking her gently. She was wet and freezing from the heavy snowfall. When she calmed down, he put her cloak around her. Noticing her darker sleeve he summoned a light, it was darkened with blood, deep bloody scratches were visible on her hand. "What happened?"

Eirlana wiped her tears away with her sleeve, her voice was raw and shaky. "You were gone a long time, I went looking for you at the Chantry. There was a templar he grabbed me by the arm tried to pull me to the cellar, told me to come. I... I got scared, tried to get away. He hurt me, said I had to listen to him. Said I had to be a good girl." Tears started to flow again, in a whisper, she added. " **He** also always told me to be a good girl."

Solas pulled the cloak firmer around her. "We need to return, get you warmed up and have a look at your arm."

Biting her lip, she nodded. "I know."

.

They walked back, Eirlana only could follow him slowly. She felt emotionally drained from the shock and the memories. She was cold having been so long outside unprotected from the elements. She tried to keep up but kept tripping and stumbling.

Solas slowed down, supporting her as they walked. When they almost had reached Haven, he picked her up and carried her. She was stiff at first but relaxed after a while and nestled herself against him.

Varric was waiting at the gates when they reached Haven. "Maker's breath, you found her! I got the fire burning in your quarters, so it should be nice and warm."

"Thank you Varric."

Varric walked with them to their cottage. Solas had just sat Eirlana on the edge of the bed when Cassandra and Cullen walked in. He was still angry "Let's talk outside, please." he went back outside leaving Varric and Eirlana alone.

Eirlana looked worried after him.

"Don't worry. Chuckles will be alright. Come let's get you out of those wet clothes. I am freezing just by looking at you." Varric took her cloak and hung it near the fire. Taking one of the blankets he had placed near it, to warm them up, he turned back around. She sat there in her underskirt and chestband. He sadly shook his head when he saw the poor state her body was in. He had heard the story from Solas, but now he saw the bruises still visible on her body. They were getting lighter, but big spots of purples, greens and yellows coloured her white skin. Scars were visible where she once had been beaten or cut. Her collarbone, shoulder blades and ribs were sticking out.

He wrapped the warmed blanket around her. "Here Snowflake this should get you warmed up."

Noticing her bloody bandage, new bruises and scratches where the templar had grabbed her he mumbled a "Damn."

.

Solas took a deep breath, he needed to calm down. "Well Seeker, did you investigate what happened?"

Cassandra frowned. "First of all, I am glad that you have found her. According to the templar, he asked her to come to the cellars when she suddenly attacked him. I ordered to bring her to me to question her."

"You asked templars to go after her, knowing she would be afraid. I told you what happened to her just weeks ago!"

"She is a mage! When she attacks people, there are precautions that we must make."

"Precautions? Yes, because every mage is a danger that should be locked away. We came here to help, and this is what we receive in return. She has healed dozens of people, and as a reward, she is seen as a criminal."

"I didn't arrest her! I asked to bring her for questioning."

Varric coughed. "Sorry to interrupt but you need to speak louder for the whole village to hear. I think the one you should see is huddled inside."

.

He walked back inside followed by them. Eirlana sat on the bed, the blanket wrapped around her chest. Solas saw her arm and removed the bandage. The templars glove had popped her wound that had just started to heal at several places. Cassandra and Cullen were shocked when they say the grisly wound and the state her body was in, usually hidden away by her clothes. Solas bandaged her wound anew, then he walked back outside Cassandra followed him. Cullen took a chair and sat down, Varric put another blanket around Eirlana's shoulder and a bowl of soup in her hands.

"Here eat up, you must be starving."

Cullen cleared his throat. "Eirlana what did happen, with the templar?"

Eirlana stared at him, she knew she had to tell them. Biting her lip she started. "I... I was looking for Solas in the Chantry. When suddenly a templar came." she closed her eyes. "He yelled at me, to come with him, grabbing my arm." she opened her eyes again looking straight at Cullen. "I told him to let me go. He started to pull me towards the cellars, told me to listen. He hurt me. I got scared."

"Thank you." Cullen smiled at her. "Get some rest."

.

Solas stood outside looking at the Breach.

"Why don't you heal her?" Cassandra asked him.

"I can't, her body has no reserves. She needs to become stronger first for magic to have any effect. I can do nothing for her."

"She has been working non-stop since she came here."

"I never said her mind has to become stronger." he smiled.

"I will ask the templar again what happened. Those wounds on her arm were new."

"Thank you Seeker." he sighed "I will go and see how the survivor is doing."

He walked back inside just when Cullen left, he saw them talk as they walked away.

"I need to go back to the Chantry."

"Don't worry Chuckles, I will stay with her." Solas nodded his thanks and left feeling relieved.

Varric sat down on a chair. "You know Snowflake, a friend of mine is just like you. Well, he is nothing like you, to be honest, but he also has been a slave. He escaped his master, his name is Fenris."

Solas returned hours later. He found Eirlana fast asleep. Varric sat at the table playing cards. He poured a drink for Solas. "She is a good kid, she will be okay." he smiled.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

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It had been biting cold the whole day, everything was covered with a thick layer of hoarfrost. Eirlana was resting on a crate, outside the makeshift clinic. Blowing her frozen fingers warm, her breath was visible in white puffs. She felt numb and drained, the constant healing of gravely wounded people was hard, and it wore her out.

Solas had left her that morning to investigate one of the rifts close to the village. He had refused to take her with him, stating it was too dangerous for her to come along. She hadn't seen much of him the last couple of days, he had spent almost all his waking hours at the side of the survivor. She could feel he was anxious, frustrated, almost desperate, ever since they had found the survivor. Though he acted his polite self on the outside, he was driven on by a cause that lay deeper. What it was she didn't know.

What more, with the ever-growing Breach above their heads, all hope of stopping it was shattered. Fear and desperation hung over Haven like a dark cloud. The hope created by the survivor emerging from the rift lasted only for a short time. With their inability to revive the survivor, rumours and theories about what had happened spread like wildfire. Three whole days had passed already, now more and more people were pointing the finger at the sole survivor. He must have done something or else he wouldn't have survived where so many had fallen.

Eirlana closed her eyes for a moment, she wanted to sleep, to drift and wander in the Fade. But with the Breach, her dreams had been nightmarish. The Fade here was in turmoil, spirits had fled the violence or were sucked into one of the many rifts that littered the area. She wanted to help them but didn't know how, she felt frustrated, alone and helpless. All that she could do was patch people up so they could get hurt again.

There was a commotion coming from the Chantry, reluctantly Eirlana opened her eyes. Cassandra walked through the village, pulling a man along by his arms, his hands bound. His dark brown hair hung loose, thick stubbles covered his tinted face. Fierce dark brown eyes looked bewildered around. His hand was pulsing with a strange magical energy. The survivor finally had regained consciousness.

.

Solas blocked the claw of a demon with his staff, firing another icebolt in its face. Varric and the soldiers that had accompanied him struggled to defeat the demons that came through the rift again and again. Solas felt frustrated, none of his attempts to seal the rift had any effect so far. His powers were still too weak to repair the damage done to the Veil. The Anchor created specifically to control the Veil, now infused in the arm of that human, was useless to him. The world would be torn apart before he would get the chance to restore it. He had done almost anything he could think of, but he couldn't access the power of the Anchor. It was maddening to feel its power so close and not being able to use it. Another demon attacked Solas, twisting around he fired more bolts of ice. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw two people jumping down to them. Swords drawn they helped them to defeat the demons. Solas couldn't believe his eyes, the human, he was awake. The Anchor reacting to the presence of the rift was flashing angrily in his hand.

.

With the demons fought back he grabbed the hand of the human "Quickly before more come through!" and pressed it against the tear in the Veil. Hoping the Anchor would react and its magic repair the tear.

With a flash, the rift closed. They all stood dazed for a few seconds.

"Thank the Maker!" Cassandra said out loud.

"What did you do?" the human looked puzzled between his hand and Solas.

Maybe not all was lost, Solas thought, but he had to be very cautious. "I did nothing. The credit is yours."

"You mean this, whatever this is."

"Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky also placed that mark upon your hand. I theorised the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach's wake. And it seems I was correct."

"So it could also close the Breach itself." Cassandra joined in.

"Possibly. It seems you hold the key to our salvation."

The human looked bewildered around flexing his hand, staring at it as if it was a foreign object. "What do you mean magic? That can not be. I CAN'T possess magic!"

"The mark is magic, I doubt your other abilities have been influenced by it."

"So that thing helps, good to know." Varric put away his crossbow. "Here I thought we'd be Ass-deep in demons forever. Varric Tethras: rogue, storyteller, and occasionally unwelcome tagalong." he introduced himself, winking at Cassandra.

"My, my name is Ryan Trevelyan of Ostwick."

"A Free-marcher? Thought I heard it from the accent, I am from Kirkwall myself."

"My name is Solas. If there are to be introductions. I am pleased to see you still live."

"He means, I kept that mark from killing you while you slept." Varric added.

Ryan eyed Solas suspiciously. "I am no good dead. How do you know so much about this all?"

"Solas is an apostate, well versed in such matters." Cassandra informed him.

"An apostate?"

Solas noticed the distrustful glint in Ryan's eyes. Suspicious and ungrateful, how refreshing for a human, he thought. "My travels have allowed me to learn much of the Fade, far beyond the experience of any Circle mage. I came to offer whatever help I can give with the Breach. If it is not closed, we are all doomed regardless of our origin."

At that moment the mark flared up again as the Breach grew above their heads.

Ryan gritted his teeth. "So I closed this thing. What happens now?"

"We better move quickly to the forward camp and the Temple of Sacred Ashes, follow me." Cassandra led the way.

As they followed her, Solas heard a prayer coming from Ryan. "Blessed are they who stand before.

The corrupt and the wicked and do not falter. Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just"

Solas sighed, this would be a difficult road to walk.

.

A messenger came running into the village, calling for healers. There would be an assault on the Breach, and many wounded were expected. Several sisters began to pack salves and bandages and hurried to the stables.

"Please come Eirlana." one of the younger sisters asked her. Eirlana quickly took her cloak and ran after them. Soldiers were mounting the few horses they had. They helped the sisters on to their saddles. A soldier stretched out a hand out towards her, offering to bring her up the mountain. Eirlana took a step back, shaking her head. "My Lady, Commander Cullen has asked me to take you anywhere you're needed." She was surprised to hear a woman's voice, she looked up from the hand to the face of the soldier. A dark-skinned woman smiled at her. "I will protect you, my Lady. And make sure you return safely." Taking the hand, she was hoisted into the saddle, and they rode off, bringing supplies needed for the aftermath of the assault.

.

Eirlana didn't know what to think. She hadn't seen the Commander since that morning.

She awoke to find Varric snoring on a chair, a blanket draped over him.

Solas was already dressed. "How are you feeling."

"Better." she smiled slightly, taking the cup of herbal tea he gave her. The mug was shaking in her hand. "A little shaky but better, thank you."

Someone knocked on the door.

"Hawke what do you want, it's too early." Varric mumbled in his sleep, pulling the blanket over his head.

Solas opened the door. Cullen stood at the door a templar behind him.

Solas narrowed his eyes. "Commander?" as he took a step back letting the men inside. Something shattered behind him, Eirlana had dropped the mug and stared at them.

Cullen's eyes shone with pity. "Good morning, sorry for the disturbance. But he needs to say something." he glared at the templar, who started mumbling. "I came to apologise, the way I conducted myself was unworthy." She stared horrified at both men, they looked at her like they expected something from her.

Cullen sighed. "Back to your duties." he ordered in a stern voice, the templar quickly left the cottage.

He softened his voice. "Eirlana I am sorry this happened."

"Thank you, Commander." Solas smoothly broke the ice. "If you excuse us, we need to get ready."

"Yes, of course. I also need to return to my duties." Cullen went out of the door. "Oh, I almost forgot. Here these are for you." he handed him a bag and quickly left.

"What did Curly want?" Varric yawned and stretched himself out, scratching his chest.

Solas put the bag on the table and took out fresh bread, cheese and other supplies.

"Haha never thought I would see the day Curly would bring me breakfast."

.

Eirlana was pulled out of her thoughts when they made a steep turn to evade a falling chunk out of the fade. They past burning carts, bodies lay on the side of the road. It didn't take long before they reached the ruined gates of the Temple of Sacred Ashes. The sounds of battle could be heard further ahead. Wounded soldiers lay on the ground or were sitting on the crumbled walls. A couple of feet away a Chantry sister was praying next to the fallen. Eirlana was relieved she didn't see Solas amongst the wounded.

They quickly dismounted. The sisters that rode with her looked at her with anticipation, one of them stepped forward. "What do you want us to do?" Eirlana was taken aback, they looked to her for guidance. She looked confused around. Why would they ask her? Seeing the wounded they needed to act fast. "Stabilise the wounded! Warn me if someone needs my immediate attention. Go easy on the elfroot, we can't examine them if their pain is too much numbed. The light wounds you can treat yourselves, but be careful some of the demon claws leave poisonous wounds."

There were many "Yes!" and "Yes miss" heard and they set to work. Eirlana provided healing where necessary. A sister called her and led her to a man, his armor had been taking off, and he was heavily bleeding from a stomach wound.

"NO! Not her! The Maker will take me to his side!" It was the templar who had grabbed her a couple of days ago. He looked sickly pale, he tried to get up but couldn't bring up his strength. He was dying.

Eirlana was surprised to see him afraid of her, terrified she would do something to him. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "Hold him still." she ordered the sister and began her work.

.

Cullen brought in a wounded soldier. He started ordering troops to bring the injured back to Haven. His eyes wandered around and noticed Eirlana hard at work. He was impressed, she was so frail yet so strong. Their eyes met as she stood up. His lip curled up as he smiled at her, slightly bowing his head. She looked puzzled at him then slowly she nodded her head in return. It pained him to see her so unsure and often scared.

There was a loud bang, a bolt of magical energy flew up in the sky into the Breach. Everyone was looking at it when it exploded in a bright flash. Slowly they regained their eyesight. The Breach was still in the sky, but it looked calmer. Whatever they had tried at the Temple it didn't close it, but it had stopped it from growing any further.

.

A short while later Solas and the rest returned. Eirlana was relieved he looked unharmed. She hastened towards him. "Are you alright? What happened?"

He was surprised she was here and not in the village. "I am unharmed. We managed to stabilise the Breach for the moment." He wished she would have stayed in Haven, she looked tired. Practising this much healing-magic took its toll on her.

"Solas, Eirlana. Take care of Ryan, we need to make sure he will be alright." Cassandra walked beside the stretcher where he lay on.

Eirlana carefully examined him, especially his arm and the mark. It was the first time she saw it up close. Solas saw her look up, directly into his eyes for a split second, before lowering the arm again.

"He has only minor injuries, but low energy. He needs rest to recover, I think he will awaken in a couple of days. I will ask Adan to make a minor healing draught for him when we are back in Haven.

"You can't heal him?" Cassandra asked.

"He has no injuries to heal. His body is trying to handle the foreign magic, it takes its toll."

"Ryan isn't a mage." Solas began to explain. "The mark's origin is magical, for it to work it needs to pull power from something. In this case his energy. It doesn't harm him, he just isn't used to it yet. It is similar to a mages fatigue after casting a complicated spell."

"Understood. Let's bring him and the rest of the wounded to Haven."

.

When Eirlana returned to the cottage that evening, the atmosphere had changed in the small village. People were thanking the Maker and Andraste in prayers. Tales of the hero of the hour spread. That he was sent by the Maker, in their darkest hour, a beacon of hope. Some began to speak as if he was sent by Andraste herself to guide and protect them in these dark times.

"How quickly opinions change." Solas remarked. He stood outside the cottage watching the people gather in small groups.

"People tend to believe what is convenient."

He laughed "That is true."

She walked inside and he followed her. After looking out of the window to make sure no one would overhear them she turned to Solas. "Solas that mark."

He stiffened, remembering her look. What did she know? What did she suspect?

"What about the mark?"

"You feel it too don't you? It's pull on the Veil."

He relaxed again. "I have noticed it. It's remarkable you were able to detect it."

"They don't know do they?"

"Know what?" Solas narrowed his eyes.

"That it can cut into the Veil like a knife through butter."

"What gives you that impression? You have only looked at it for a moment?"

She looked at him as if it was obvious. "They have the same energy. It is as if they were made for each other."

His eyes glinted, a smile formed on his lips. He was impressed, she was this sensitive to magical energies. What more was she capable of without knowing? "They don't know. I thought it wise not to share that information. We don't know how this will develop further. It may be wise to give them only what they need." He needed to be careful. It was crucial she wouldn't be questioned about the Fade. Otherwise, his plan to only carefully feeding them information that they needed, would be in danger. And he needed also to make sure she didn't question his actions. "We haven't told them you are also knowledgeable about the Fade. It is safer for you if they don't know."

She smiled at him. "Don't worry Solas. I don't want them to know. And I first need to learn how the waking world works before I know what is safe to tell."

.

The Veil shimmered above Haven, as flashes of magical energy rippled from the Breach across the sky. It was both beautiful and disturbing to watch. Eirlana stared at it while waiting for Solas at the landing stage of the frozen lake. He had agreed to further supervise her training in magic. Breaching the Veil with the right amount of strength to tap into the Fade, was harder than she had anticipated. She sighed wishing that her other abilities would be as easy to manifest as her healing magic. In the Fade magic came as natural as breathing to her, here she needed more control. They had practised on the lake the last couple of days. Solas was teaching her how to use a staff, to correctly channel her powers, but it had been challenging.

"I hope I am not disturbing you." turning around she saw Cullen walk up to her.

She eyed him nervous as he rested his hands on his sword. Following her eyes, he quickly pulled them from the hilt. After fumbling for a bit, he interlocked them behind his back.

"I haven't really had the opportunity to speak to you since..." He looked away searching for words. "I mean to say, with all the developments it has been pretty hectic. How are you holding up?"

What did he want from her? He was right about the turmoil in the small village. Ryan had awoken after two days, with his cooperation they had declared to reform the Inquisition. Rallying everyone under one banner to help close the Breach and look for those responsible for the murder of the Divine. Ryan was now called the Herald of Andraste by the people, send by the prophet herself to save them.

Cullen coughed nervously as she didn't answer. "Ehm, how is your arm?"

"Better, it is healing."

He smiled, glad she finally spoke. "I am pleased to hear that. I am sorry that it happened."

"Why? It wasn't you." she looked puzzled at him.

"Those men are under my command. So I am responsible for their actions. I will make sure it won't happen again. You have my word."

Eirlana saw he was taking this very seriously, not knowing how to react she mumbled. "Thank you."

"I have to thank you. You have saved a lot of lives and limbs with your abilities. The men speak wonders of your skills."

She fell silent again, and her eyes wandered over the lake.

Cullen admired her. When he saw her wounded and scared body, it had shocked him. It made him sick thinking about what she must have endured. And yet here she was facing the world as best she could. He could relate to that she was suspicious of everyone. After he had been tortured in the Circle of Fereldan, he didn't trust anyone. Plagued by the memories and the guilt that he had survived where his comrades fell. It took him months to pick up his life again after he was freed. The nightmares from that time tormented him to this day, the lyrium withdrawal made them worse. He wasn't proud of the man he became after the Circle, the decisions he made.

"You're in pain."

Cullen was shaken from his thoughts, Eirlana looked him straight in the eyes.

"I... It is nothing." he stumbled over his words. He rubbed the back of his neck. Maker's Breath, her eyes were beautiful. "Just a slight headache, it has been very chaotic the last couple of days." Her eyes told him she knew he was lying. Maker, she was a healer, of course, she knew it was not a simple headache. Searching for a polite way out, he was glad when he saw Solas approach.

.

Solas sat deep in thought in the cottage. The human had awoken, and the others had declared him their champion, sent by their Maker to save them. He was perplexed that so many of them accepted this divine aid as the truth. It was a relief that the Anchor stabilised after the Breach had calmed down. It gave him time to think about how to act. For the time being, he would stay. Now with the humans 'Herald' awake they soon would make their move to begin closing the rifts, gathering allies, attempting anew to close Breach. If this accidental host died in the process, the Anchor would be lost, and he needed it to repair the damage done to the Veil. He had spent a great deal of his power for its creation. It infuriated him that it was now in the hands of someone inapt. A narrow-minded mortal, with, from what he could judge, a deep distrust of magic. He would likely second guess everything he had to say.

Solas shook his head, remembering he had promised to meet Eirlana at the lake for her training. He had to hurry, she would already be waiting for him. She was learning fast, her views of magic formed by the Fade itself. Not bound by the rigid teachings of a misinformed world, that was built upon the bones of his People. She was like a rare gem, her senses sharp, instinctively absorbing everything he thought her like a sponge. It had only been a few days since he began her training and was impressed with her progress.

Quickly he gathered their staves and hurried out of the cottage and almost bumped into Ryan. He was cleaned up, clad in brand new armor, his hair slicked back in a ponytail.

.

"Watch where you're going. Solas wasn't it?"

"Hello Herald, the Chosen of Andraste. A blessed hero sent to save us all." slipped of Solas' tongue

Ryan didn't look amused. "I've no interest in being a hero. All I want is to find a way to seal that blasted thing. I didn't ask for this, but the Maker has put me on this path."

"Spoken noble indeed." he saw Ryan frowning at him. "You think I'm mocking you. This age has made people cynical." He continued his path but halted. Let's test the waters a little he thought.

"I've journeyed deep into the Fade in ancient ruins and battlefields to see the dreams of lost civilisations. I've watched as hosts of spirits clash to re-enact the bloody past in ancient wars both famous and forgotten. Every great war has its heroes. I'm just curious what kind you'll be."

"The kind who succeeds and wins."

"That is usually better than losing. It will be interesting to watch which paths this fledgeling Inquisition will take. I will stay to see it."

"You'll stay? Was that in doubt?"

"I am an apostate surrounded by Chantry forces in the middle of a mage rebellion. Cassandra has been

accommodating, but you understand my caution."

"You might dislike the Circles, but they had their purpose. It is foolish that they rebelled. And if that Breach stays open, you'll like what it does to the world even less."

"Agreed. Hence remaining here to offer help. Now if you would excuse me." Solas walked away, shaking his head. This will be thin ice to walk on, but staying close to the Anchor was necessary for the time being.

.

He walked out of Haven and saw Cullen talking to Eirlana. He joined them.

"Sorry, I have kept your waiting." "Commander." he greeted Cullen.

They walked up the frozen lake, out of sight from the training grounds. A training dummy had been put on the ice as a target, it already was scorched at several places. Cullen stayed on the landing stage watching them.

"Remember your lessons from yesterday. Concentrate on a flame that burns within you, reach out to that flame, give it shape, give it purpose." He watched closely as Eirlana concentrated.

Eirlana gathered her energy and thrust her hand forward. Bolts of cold blue flames hit the dummy engulfing it in icy fire. Her eyes sparkled at her success. "Solas, I finally did it!" she yelled enthusiastically.

"You most certainly did." he laughed sharing in her joy. She beamed at him and cast the spell anew.

Solas couldn't help but be proud, she had worked hard the last couple of days to get a more real feel for magic. Her understanding of magic was primarily formed by the Fade and its spirits. It was the only place she could practice magic for as long as she could remember. Being cut off from most of her powers by that monstrous collar when she was awake. Now she was tapping into the Fade more accurate, giving shape to her abilities. Her joy from practising magic was evident. He liked seeing her like that, seeing her grow. How far she had come.

The way in which she formed the energies from the Fade was supple, instinctively, a part of her. It was extraordinary to watch, whoever had thought her in the Fade, thought her well. With the Veil in place, most of the ancient arts were lost. Spells had standardised over the centuries. The Chantry being one of the biggest culprits, by enforcing the Circles and its templars. He himself had studied these techniques to blend in and being too weak at present to practise his true powers. Solas chuckled, wondering if she even was aware how many 'rules' she broke with her casting techniques.

.

Cullen was looking at them from afar, smiling as he heard her joy in her voice. He hadn't ever seen anything like her magic, it was both beautiful and worrisome to him. Blue flames it suited her he thought.

"There you are, Commander."

He turned around to see Cassandra and Ryan walking towards him.

"Cassandra, Herald." he greeted them.

Cassandra handed him a report. "Here. We have more news about the situation in the Hinterlands."

"I will look at it right away." He took the report and walked back to the training grounds to resume his work.

.

Eirlana had just managed to surround herself and Solas with a shimmering protective globe. She beamed at Solas, happy she was getting the hang of it. Solas eyes twinkled as he watched her.

His demeanour changed suddenly as he looked over her shoulder, his face hardening. Turning around she saw Cassandra and Ryan walking up to them.

"Herald, this is Eirlana, I don't think you have officially met her yet. She is one of our best healers."

"Hello, nice to meet you, I heard some good deeds about you." He extended his hand.

Eirlana eyed him nervously. Not taking his hand she stepped back, uttering a "Hello."

Solas walked forward, stepping next to her. "We meet again, Herald. Hello, Seeker."

"We saw you from afar, how does the training go? Judging from the dummy, you're making progress." Cassandra pointed at the icy patches on it.

"She has a rare gift." his face softened as he looked at Eirlana.

"You are training her?"

Solas' eyes narrowed and darted back at Ryan.

Eirlana noticed the tension between both men. "I don't have much practice in casting magic. I.."

"Isn't that dangerous?" Ryan cut her off. "Should she even learn from him? What are these techniques? They are obviously not approved by the Chantry or the Circles. Don't we have someone from the Circle that can teach her?"

"Of course because every mage outside the Circle is a dangerous lunatic." Solas snapped.

Cassandra was dismayed at the hostility between both men. She didn't know Solas very long, but his conduct had been exemplary. And she knew he cared for Eirlana, he wouldn't put her in danger. "Solas has helped us a great deal since his arrival. Thanks to him you survived after you emerged from the rift. I am certain Solas won't let Eirlana come to harm."

Solas took a deep breath, he needed to calm down. "Magic is diverse, every mage can have his or her own personal approach. Like every person is different so is every mage, be it in subtle or bigger differences. Only within the Chantry's Circles, they attempt to uniform it. I merely teach her to safely access her abilities. The techniques are her own. Like I said she has a rare gift."

Eirlana mustered her courage. Solas didn't deserve this, he had saved her life. "I want to learn from Solas. We live in a hostile world, with the rifts it has become even more dangerous. I won't stand helpless behind everyone's backs when I can help. We all have the same goal to mend the hole into the Fade before more souls are lost."

"She is right." Cassandra showed her a rare smile. "We need to work together, and we can't do it without the help of both of you." She glared at Ryan. "We will leave for the Hinterlands the day after tomorrow. Solas and Eirlana I want both of you to come. With the fighting getting worse in the area and the refugees we will need all the help we can get."

"Of course Seeker." Solas replied politely.

They watched them both leave.

"Is it better if I learn these techniques?"

Solas turned towards her, a curious glance in his eyes. "Do you want to?"

"No." she erected again the protective doom around them. "I have spent almost my whole life doing what other people demanded. I want to do what feels right."

He chuckled swirling his staff and firing an icebolt at the barrier as he walked further away from her, it held. "Then let's continue before we are interrupted again." Eirlana took her staff, standing defensively, waiting for his attack.

It hadn't escaped his notice that she mentioned souls. He was glad she heeded his advice to be careful about sharing her opinions and knowledge of the Fade.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

.

.

The sun shone brightly as they travelled down the mountains into the green rolling hills of the Hinterlands. Farms, fields and small woods dotted the rocky landscape.

As they drew near Redcliffe the impact of the war and its devastating effects had left its mark on the once peaceful lands. Farms were burned down to the ground, others were looted and abandoned. Dead mutilated corpses of civilians, apostates and templars lay rotting beside the roads. Areas were frozen solid from misused magic.

.

When they approached the Crossroads, they could hear people screaming in the distance. Terrified refugees came running towards them, fleeing the small village. Fresh bodies lay on the side of the road, the brutality of the fighting evident on the horrific wounds they carried. Eirlana followed Solas as they ran into the village. It was chaos, Inquisition forces tried to guide the refugees to safety while templars and apostates clashed with each other. They didn't seem to care who they wounded or killed in their bloodlust.

A woman came running along the path, a templar chasing her. She tripped and fell to the ground a couple of yards away from them. The templar swung his sword to slash her. Ryan and Cassandra sprinted towards him, trying to save the woman. They wouldn't make it in time. Before Eirlana realised what she was doing, she trusted her arms out, propelling forth a force of magical energy to push the templar away from the woman.

Solas felt the air rushing past him as the invisible force collided with the templar sending him flying back. He stole a glance to his right at her, she looked both terrified and relieved she had hit the right target. "Stay close!" he yelled at her, as he erected a barrier around Ryan and Cassandra who were engaging the warring parties.

Solas noticed that Ryan moved further and further away from them. His fighting style was reckless, not paying attention what the rest of his comrades were doing. He kept a watchful eye on him as he and Eirlana both tried to support the fighters as best they could. Freezing enemies with their spells, protecting them with their barriers. Varric fired bolt after bolt, taking out several archers. The combat went well until Ryan ran right into an ice mine one of the apostates had laid. He was flung back, his legs wounded from the ice shards. Solas rushed forward to protect him from a sellsword, who tried to take advantage of his prone target. He managed to lay the protective shield around Ryan just in time.

"Solas! Watch out!" He stumbled forward as Eirlana pushed her back against him. Quickly turning around he saw her create a barrier of ice spikes between herself and a charging templar, impaling him in the process. He would have been attacked in the back if she hadn't interfered.

.

The fight was soon over. Inquisition forces began to set up stations to protect the citizens in case any more templars or apostates would show up. People were wandering around looking for their loved ones, many were wounded or dead. Solas stood next to Cassandra who helped Ryan to his feet.

"Damn those mages." Ryan cursed as he tried to stand on his wounded legs.

"We need to get that looked after. Where is Eirlana?" Cassandra asked as she supported him.

Solas shook his head. Of course, let's bring in magical healing to the man who condemns magic. He turned around and caught a glimpse of Eirlana leaving the village.

.

Eirlana stood petrified, staring at the chaos around her, the moaning and crying of people. She shuddered, she had killed someone. She had seen deaths during her life as a slave. In the Fade, she had seen countless battles re-enacted by the spirits, but never had she used her powers to end a life. Feeling sick she made her way past people and troops, bumping into a few of them. She needed to get out of here. Outside the village it was calm, birds were singing, leaves rustled in the wind. The long green grass felt cool against her feet. Eirlana collapsed on a boulder staring at her hands, still covered in blood from the templar.

Solas found her there. Rubbing her hands frantically, trying to get the bloodstains off. He cursed silently that she was pulled into the battle. She wasn't ready, her mind still recovering from her terrible ordeals. She flinched when he squatted before her, looking sympathetic at her.

"Here." Opening his water bottle, he slowly poured water on her hands, so she could wash the blood away. When he handed her the flask, she took a big gulp. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a few deep breaths to calm herself.  
"Thank you. I... this... have you..." Her eyes turned to the ground, her mind was chaotic. She knew he had killed before, she had seen him kill her captors. It felt terrible ending another man's life, she had never imagined how heavy it felt. Solas waited calmly for her to find the words.

"Does it get any easier?" she raised her eyes up, meeting his own.

Solas looked away, his face torn with grief. "Sadly it gets easier, but that doesn't mean it doesn't weigh on you. It still hurts, but this world gives you often little choice."  
"Can that be changed?"

"I hope one day it can change for the better, but the path leading to it is one I do not wish upon anyone." He looked so distraught when he said this, she felt her heart break. There was a heavy silence between both of them.  
Solas was the first to break it, they needed to focus on the tasks ahead. He rose to his feet "The Herald is injured. Are you able to take care of him?" He offered her his hand.

Eirlana took another deep breath and accepted his hand. She straightened her back and followed him back into the village.

.

"I will stay here."

Solas looked at Eirlana in disbelieve. They had finished their business at the Crossroads and were about to set out again. "Are you certain?"

"They need me here, there are still many wounded."

Cassandra nodded her approval. "We will be back here after we secured more supplies for the refugees."

Solas didn't feel comfortable leaving her here, even with the Inquisitions troops securing the village.

"Solas, I will be fine." she stepped closer to him and added in a whisper. "I am sorry, I can't keep up with the fighting. I... I need more time."

"I understand, if something happens, go back to the camp."

"I will. Stay safe."

.

Ryan and Cassandra let the way through the green hills and cliffs of the Hinterlands. Solas and Varric followed them. When Solas looked back at the village, he heard Varric grin.

"You worry too much Chuckles."

"And you are not worried, Master Tethras?"

"On the contrary, this shit doesn't make any sense to me. Compared to this, the things that went on in Kirkwall looked like a walk in the park."

"I imagine you didn't find it that easy at the time."

"You can say that again. One thing I learned during that time is to trust your friends. Though we have a short supply of them at the moment." he let out a sad sigh and continued in a louder more upbeat voice. "So here we are Chuckles, cleaning up another human mess."

Cassandra looked back at them, clearly not pleased. "What do you mean by that?" she growled.

"Every greater mess I've been involved in was usually initiated by a human. Except for that one time my brother left me in the Deep Roads to die."

"With so many humans around, it is hardly surprising." Solas suppressed a grin, Varric's talent to aggravate the Seeker was unmatched.

"If you think about it, we the minority are fixing their mess. We should ask for a payment."

"It is hard to imagine what the Inquisition would do without our stabilising influence, Master Tethras."

"I assume they'd just start burning things."

"That does sound like most humans I know."

Cassandra frowned at them, daggers shooting from her eyes. "If you gentlemen are quite finished?"

"Now, now, you don't need to get touchy. We're just here to lend you, simple humans, our help."

"That reminds me Varric. You joined the Inquisition, while the Seeker brought you here for questioning."

Varric rolled his eyes. "She was very insistent that I help. But no matter how hard she tries Bianca doesn't like to share. I'm torn by all this attention."

"Interesting."

Varric glanced at Solas. "What's Interesting?"

"That the two elven apostates are the ones who joined the Inquisition voluntarily."

"You two are in a league of your own." he laughed. "Maybe not the smartest move but I for one am glad you two decided to join the team. You are far better company than those two." he pointed to Ryan and Cassandra.

"I enjoy your company as well Master Tethras."

.

They spent the rest of the day fighting stragglers, securing food and supplies for the refugees. Solas was pleased the Inquisition had decided to help the refugees, the suffering done to these people wasn't necessary. They also encountered a few rifts. Solas was worried about the instability of the Veil. The Breach had weakened it significantly, creating many soft spots where rifts could form. It had spread farther away than he thought. Though he had planned to bring down the Veil, it was not with this level of violence done to the Fade. He needed a broader picture of what was happening to the Veil.

When they returned to the camp, the sun had already set. He found Eirlana asleep in their shared tent. She lay curled up on the far side of their tent. It had become chilly, and her blanket had slipped off. Carefully he covered her again, trying not to wake her. Exhausted he lay down on his own sleepingroll. Concentrating on his breath, he quickly dived into the Fade. He needed more information.

.

The people of Fereldan were spirited, independent, believers in hard work. Eirlana could sense the deep pride of the land they lived on, as she wandered the Fade. The area had a long history, the pride and love people felt had seeped through to the Fade and spirits had gathered to enjoy the sensation of it. She always liked the curiosity of the spirits, their honesty. People were much harder to read, their thoughts and emotions not so straightforward. She had to smile as a small wisp circled her. Its playful nature curious at what she was doing here. She was relieved that the Fade here was mostly undamaged by the events. Compared to Haven it was peaceful, she felt at ease here. Sadly staying here was not an option. The world wouldn't wait for her, and she was being pulled into a storm of changes. She had to adapt and learn fast if she wanted to play a part in it. Did she even want to play a part in it she wondered? Focussing her thoughts the Fade began to shift around her, it was time she visited her teacher. It had been months since she last saw him.

.

Eirlana still could remember vividly how they met for the first time. It had been a frightening time. Only a child she was running through the Fade, afraid and alone. How long she had been there, she didn't know, but it had been many days. She could feel her connection to her body growing thinner by the day. The experiments had weakened her, it became harder and harder to remember that she was alive, that she was a person. Already her appearance in the Fade was fading. When she held her hand before her eyes, she could look through it. Maybe I am turning into a spirit she thought.

The part of the Fade she was in was grey and empty, memories of events so long ago that even the spirits had begun to forget. Feeling tired and lost, she came upon some ruins. She had stumbled upon the territory of a more powerful spirit.

Glad she had escaped the clouds of nothingness she collapsed against a broken pillar.

 _"Garas quenathara da'len?"_ Startled, Eirlana looked up and saw a tall elf, clad in beautiful dark robes, embroidered with gold. His long dark hair fell over his shoulder. It was bound together with several golden bands.

 _"Thu ma venal_ silaima'an _?"_

"Is that elven?" she asked shyly.

His intense green eyes studied her as if he was wondering what to make of her. "What is your name da'len?" his voice was deep with a heavy accent, not used to the common language.

Tears started to run down her cheeks. "I don't know. I forgot."

"Then we need to find you a new one." he smiled at her. "Come da'len. Tell me, how did you find this place?" He took her hand and guided her deeper into the ruins.  
So began their friendship, he was her teacher, her guide. He thought her magic, elven, how to keep herself together in the Fade and how to shape it according to her will. After they started to use the collar on her, she couldn't visit him as often anymore. Eirlana was ashamed she hadn't visited him since Solas had freed her. Her mind had been too preoccupied. Too much had happened, with her recovery, the Breach and everything else, it was a wonder she had kept up so far.

The Fade changed around her, and she could see the outlines of the old ruin. _"Ghi'lan!_ " she called him happily as she entered the ruins. She froze in her tracks, where once stood the study of her teacher a green rip was visible. A rift had opened where her teacher lived. "GHI'LAN!" she yelled as she tried to sense his presence. There was nothing. He had vanished.

.

Solas was deep in thought, he had searched this region in the Fade looking for any sign of the condition of the Veil. What he found didn't bode well. The Veil seemed to have weakened naturally over the centuries, and the Breach had caused even more damage, opening up the scars that already existed. How significant or permanent this damage was he couldn't determine without more study. He needed a more accurate reading. Luckily he had stumbled upon an artefact from his time during his search. It was used to measure magical energies when activated. He could use it to get a greater understanding what the state was of the Veil. Maybe he could use it to think of another method to dismantle the Veil in the long run. He needed to find the artefact, but he doubted Ryan would act upon it if he told him its purpose. Although there hadn't been a fallout between them in the last couple of days, he had to approach this carefully.

Since they had arrived in the Hinterlands, they had managed to stabilise the region. They defeated pockets of templars and apostates that had set up camps on the land, secured horses for the Inquisition and closed a few rifts. Solas approved these actions, but Ryan's deep distrust of magic and his deep-rooted belief in the Maker and Andraste was a hindrance.

"Solas?"

He had to blink a couple of times as Varric disturbed him. They had set up camp at a small waterfall next to a lake and were resting before the would return to Haven.

"What is it Varric?"

"Do you know if something is troubling Snowflake? She has been more withdrawn than usual."

"If I have to guess it's all the fights we have been involved in, but I go to talk to her. Do you know where I can find her?"

"Over there." he pointed. "At the other end of the shallow waters."

"Thank you Varric."

On his way, he decided to speak to Ryan.

"Herald if I may have a moment."

Ryan turned towards him. "What is it?"

"When I was exploring the Fade here, I felt the presence of elven artefact. According to my research, it was a ward, meant to strengthen the Veil. It may be useful to locate and activate it to protect this area against tears."

Ryan frowned. "We have no time for wards. Who knows, what else we unleash with such ancient magics."

"But..."

"Enough! We received reports of bandits close by. We will leave shortly."

"Understood." Solas frowned and walked away.

.

He walked towards Eirlana, his feet wading through the cold water. He had noticed she had changed after their first encounter at the Crossroads. She became more involved in the efforts of the Inquisition, travelling with them, fighting alongside them. They hadn't spoken much, he had been too preoccupied the last couple of days.

Eirlana sat on a rock, one foot dangling in the water, hugging her other leg. Her eyes stared at the rippling water surface. Solas sat down beside her. She noticed his tension.

"What happened?"

He looked at her. "Nothing worth mentioning, I had a disagreement with the Herald."

"His thoughts and opinions are shaped by his faith. It is almost natural for you two to disagree."

He let out a laugh. "Your observation is accurate. Sadly it doesn't make our task easier."

"You have been withdrawn the last couple of days." Solas waited patiently for her to speak.

"What is death for a spirit like?" she asked softly after a while.

That wasn't the question he had expected. "It isn't the same as for mortals. The energy of a spirit returns to the Fade. If the idea giving the spirit form is strong, or if the memory has shaped other spirits, it may someday rise again." When she didn't respond, he asked. "Why did you want to know?"

Eirlana looked at him. "My teacher has disappeared. I have looked everywhere for him, but he is gone. I can't find him. There is a rift at the place where he lived."

Solas voice saddened. "Hopefully he moved away in time. It is rare to encounter a conscious spirit who can reflect reality. Even if something would reform one day, he most likely won't remember you. I am sorry."

"He was the one who named me. He said I remembered him of the ice flowers you only see during the winter."

"Is this the reason why you decided to fight?"

"In part. I want to help before more spirits are harmed. And when I come along, I don't have to worry if you or Varric are alright. Staying behind and wait is difficult."

"I must confess I was also worried when you said you wanted to stay at the Crossroads the first day."

"Solas! Eirlana! We are moving out!" Cassandra yelled over the water.

"Duty calls." Solas stood up. "If you want I can help look for your friend."

"Thank you, but I am sure he is gone. And thank you for checking on me."

They slowly walked back through the water. "You can talk to me if something is on your mind."

Eirlana smiled and shook her head. "You have already done so much, I don't want to bother you."

"It is not a bother."

.

On their way back to Haven they camped at the base of the Frostback Mountains.

Solas rested against a tree, a short distance from the camp. A light hovered next to him as he read the History of the Chantry to gain a broader perspective of the paths the Herald and this Inquisition most likely would take. His ears twitched as light footsteps drew closer. Without looking up, he knew who it was. Eirlana sat down across of him. He could feel her stare. His eyes looked over his pages to her. She was biting her lip pondering on something. "What's on your mind?"

She looked at her toes curling in the grass. "Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you."

"You aren't." It was the truth. He wondered when was the last time he didn't mind getting disturbed.

"Solas, I have a favour to ask."

He put down his book, giving her his full attention. "What do you need?"

"Can you teach me how to read?"

He raised his eyebrows. "You can't read?"

"They don't typically teach slaves, and there is only so much you can learn in the Fade."

"I have to teach you also how to write as well then."

A bright smile formed on her face as she scoots next to him.

Solas chuckled. Apparently, I will start teaching her right away, he thought.

"Is something funny?"

"No, I am just surprised at myself."

Until deep in the night, she repeated the letters he showed her. It had been long ago since both didn't miss slipping into the Fade.

.

Varric saw them talking, bent over a book. He turned around back to the camp.

"They are alright Seeker. They are reading some book over there."

"A book? At this hour, it's already dark."

"They are both mages. You think they can't fix a simple light?"

Varric shook his head as he joined Cassandra and Ryan at the fire. They were discussing their upcoming visit to Val Royeaux. It was on nights like these he really missed the old gang. Cassandra and Ryan were no fun.

* * *

Garas quenathara da'len - why are you here child

Thu ma venal silaima'an - how did you find this forgotten place

da'len - child

Ghi'lan - teacher, guide


	6. Chapter 6

Hey all

Interesting that you guys don't like my Inquisitor :) when Thedas doesn't agree with you. I found it surprising how the game reacted to my chantry poster child. Except for Solas, everyone thought he was doing an excellent/good job.

I am doing this playthrough for a second time now to get more details for the story. And I must admit I laugh every time when Solas says his goodbye with "Of course". He is so pissed at my Inquisitor XD.

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This is the longest chapter so far. I didn't like making two chapters about the Stormcoast.

Enjoy the reading. And I love the reviews, thank you so much.

* * *

 **Chapter 6**

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Haven was busy after they returned from Val Royeaux. The horses from horsemaster Dennet had arrived as well as many new recruits. The deeds of the Inquisition had spread, and many volunteers came to Haven to join their endeavours to close the Breach.

With the little village growing and getting more crowded by the day. Eirlana felt she was getting more and more anxious. She was relieved she would soon leave with the others for the Storm Coast. Her work at the clinic was finished for the day. Feeling the need for some air, she grabbed a basket and walked through the gates and training grounds. Heading towards the forest to gather some elfroot.

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"That is one fine-looking knife-ear."

Eirlana startled and saw a group of young recruits gloat at her. Fear took hold of her already frail nerves. She lowered her head and quickened her pass.

They laughed. "Look she is shy."

"She doesn't like you, too bad you look like your father."

"Don't run away sweety. Keep us company."

"Look at her fine clothing. She already is someone's pet."

Ignoring their calls she walked further, almost bumping into Cullen in her haste.

"Watch it!" he caught her by the arms so she wouldn't fall.

She shied back immediately, freeing herself from his hands.

He noticed her tension. "Eirlana did something happen?"

"I... no, sorry. It's nothing." she mumbled.

Glancing in the direction, she came from Cullen noticed the group of recruits getting flustered and quickly walking away. He bowed a little to catch Eirlana's eyes. "Did they say something to you?"

Her eyes met his for a second before she cast them down again. "It's nothing."

"Did they bother you?"

Getting no further answer he could guess what they did. There had already been other incidents with name calling and insults. He would see to it that the new recruits were properly drilled. For his part, he had never seen elves differently from humans. Rather, the opposite. He had always been attracted to them. They were so much more... What was he thinking about? His face turned beet red when he noticed she was looking at him. He cleared his throat. Maker why I am so bad at this? Talk to her! Say something! Anything! "Ehm your clothes."

Eirlana looked down confused, wondering if she put something wrong on. "My clothes?"

"Your new clothes, they suit you."

She looked confused at him, a slight blush coloured her cheeks. "Th...Thank you."

Cullen smiled at her reaction. "If I may ask. Where were you going?"

"To the woods to collect some elfroot. We might need it on the journey."

"You will accompany the Herald tomorrow?"

"Yes."

Yes, naturally, she would go. He had read the reports from the Hinterlands. She was a great asset.

"Did you need anything?" she asked.

"No, no I am okay."

Eirlana nodded and went on her way.

Cullen turned around towards her. "You are going alone?"

She looked back at him. "Yes, why?"

Of course, she goes alone, more gatherers went out alone. "Nothing. Have a pleasant walk."

"Thank you."

.

The woods were quiet, the snow muffling the sounds from the village. Occasionally you could hear the call of a ram in the distance or a nug digging for roots. Eirlana took a deep breath of the fresh mountain air. I should have done this sooner she thought as she spotted the first herbs in between the trees. A startled bird flew away releasing snow from a branch that fell on her. She brushed it off her clothes, her clothes it sounded strange to think that.

She didn't know what to expect when ambassador Josephine asked for Solas and herself to join her when they visited Val Royeaux. Before they could object they were in a tailor shop.

"If you are to represent the Inquisition in your travels it is a necessity you are properly equipped. Other than its practical nature, we also need to keep up our appearance in the public if we want to be taken seriously. May I introduce you to Master Amar, he will see to your needs."

Eirlana was reluctant to accept the whole thing at first. But with Solas there she had been able to pick what she liked. Now she was clad in light grey woollen leggings, over it a light blue dress with a tightly fitted bodice and a flowy skirt. It had a split at both sides up to her hips so she could move freely in it. A white and dark blue sash was bound around her waist. She wore a grey leather coat of fennec fur over it, which was short in the front and longer in the back.

Solas had a new dark brown leather fur coat and leggings with a white tunic underneath it. Also, both of them carried new staves. In addition, Josephine had insisted both of them choose a range of recreational clothes for when they were back in Haven.

There are many more things I have to learn and get used to she thought as she continued her walk.

.

"I must say I am surprised to find other mages here."

Solas looked up from the furs he was airing. Enchanter Vivienne, the newest addition of people supporting the Inquisition, was talking to Ryan only a few feet away. They were deliberately talking loud enough for him to hear their conversation.  
"The explosion at the conclave was caused by something magical. The Inquisition needed help to study it. Having mages around is a necessity even with the dangers." Ryan explained.

"I agree. With the increased risks, we should be careful and take the necessary precautions. With these many unknown factors, we may need to rely on hedge mages for clues to what occurred."

Hedge mages? Solas felt his pride stir at the insult, they had no idea of his true powers. They meant for him to hear them, so he joined their conversation. "That is correct, Enchanter. I did not train in one of your Circles. And neither did Eirlana."  
"Well, dear, I hope you and your friend can take care of yourselves, should we encounter anything outside your experience."

"I will try, in my own fumbling way, to learn from how you helped seal the rifts at Haven. Ah, wait. My memory misleads me. You were not here."

"I heard about your endeavours. You did an excellent job using your magic without any concrete knowledge or technique."

"The rigorous training you received lays a solid foundation, true. It also creates boundaries, limitations, where none need to exist."

"I do prefer to have boundaries between myself and the demons, my dear. As should any mage."

"Of course. The Circle with their Harrowing teaches you that all demons attempt to possess you."

"Not at all! Many of them simply want to kill you. I suppose you would claim otherwise."

"Why should I? You would not believe me. You have learned your lessons all too well."

"Lessons every mage should learn. It is my understanding that you are teaching at the moment."

"Life is our greatest teacher, but you must refer to Eirlana. I merely guide her. With her talents, she needs little teaching."

"Maybe that is better left to people who have actual teaching experience."

"I look forward to your teachings. Sadly this will have to wait until we have returned or will you honour us with your presence Enchanter?"

"Your irony is noted. I am not afraid to get my hands dirty in order to solve this crisis."

"That is comforting to hear. We may have to travel a difficult road before this is over. If you excuse me, I have to make preparations before we leave." What a shame he thought. Vivienne was clearly a powerful enchanter, but she was deeply invested in the politics of the Circles and the Chantry. With her and Sera, a crude elf afraid of everything 'elfy' or magical, having joined the Inquisition. He had no doubt his patience would be tested in the days to come.

.

Eirlana reined in her horse as the rest of the troops marched past her along the rugged and steep cliffs of the Storm coast. A brisk wind blew in her face as she looked out over the sea. Bad weather was blowing in from the Waking Sea, and dense dark rain clouds were gathering on the horizon. She pulled her cloak tighter. A ship was visible in the distance on the stormy waters.

It was not long ago she had followed Solas onto these very shores as a free woman. Freedom. A simple word with a heavy deeper meaning. True, she was free now, but this freedom had another face she didn't expect. Ever since she walked into this free world, she had seen and experienced a difference in treatment between humans and other races. Elves, in particular, were seen as lesser living beings.

Especially in Val Royeaux. Behind all the wealth, glitter and glamour there was another side. She had seen glimpses of the poor that were begging at the sides of the road, the many servants that busied themselves to serve their lords and ladies. Many of them were elves living in the shadows of the wealthy and powerful, hidden away behind the façade of masks and glamour.

"Your mistress must think highly of you to be given such fine clothes." One of the elven servants at the tailor shop told her, while she was taken her measurements. She heard Amar asked Josephine since when she developed a taste for rabbits.  
It struck Eirlana that even outside Tevinter, there was a stark contrast between humans and elves. The Inquisition was no different. Most of the elves within the Inquisition were servants, a select few were scouts, but none were of any importance. Humans, who were everywhere, talked about knife-ears, filthy elves, the laziness of elves. She even had encountered people who didn't want to be treated by her, afraid they would get a disease.

It confused her that the Chantry preached they were all the Markers children, but according to the same Chantry she needed to be saved. Because her being an elf meant she had turned further from the Maker's grace than humans. Not to mention she was also a mage.

.

"Another rainy day, this coast does its name just." Solas had pulled next to her and followed her gaze out over the sea.

"I never thought I would return here so quickly. But somehow it feels like a lifetime ago."

"A lot has happened since then." he agreed. Earlier he had reined his horse and watched her. Something was bothering her, and he feared this coast brought back some bad memories for her.

"What troubles you? Your mind is clouded like the sky."

"I was thinking about the elves."

Solas felt a shiver run through his body. "What about the elves?" he managed to ask in his usual tone.

"As a slave in Tevinter, you exist only to serve your master by any means necessary. Your master's happiness is your happiness, his wish is your command. But even amongst all the oppression, there are those who dream. They dream about freedom, about the south. Now I am here, and it is different from what I had imagined. In the Fade, there is no difference who or what you are. The spirits simply accept that you are. I have seen differences between humans and elves in memories, but to perceive them first hand is..." She turned her head towards him. "Solas why are elves treated so differently? We live, we feel, we bleed and die just like everybody else."

Solas face darkened. He was responsible that the elves now were mortal like the humans. She was correct the unjust treatment of elves was deep-rooted in this world. Either they were seen as savages or as lesser people. "I have no answers why humans regard us as they do. We have a long bloody history with them. Sadly all too often they view themselves as the righteous heroes in those conflicts. Most humans accept these as the truth. They act upon what they have been thought with little understanding of the world. Have you been bothered?"

"Not really apart from the same name calling you hear. The naturalness of it all bothers me. Have you met Threnn, the quartermaster? The other day she directed me to the cleaning supplies."

"She did what?"

"She assumed I was another elf who came to become a maid."

Solas shook his head. "Come we best move on. The others will be waiting."

.  
They steered their horses further along the path.

"Solas, do you regard humans differently because they are human?"

He thought a while about his answer. "I do. Their thinking is often narrow-minded. I see the great injustice done to the People. Being Elvhen and someone who possesses magical abilities, I have learned to be wary of humans and their Chantry doctrine. Considering our history, it is only natural to have preconceptions."

Eirlana noticed his old pronunciation of elven. "Do you remember the templar who grabbed me. I healed him when you were trying to close the Breach. He was terrified I would do something to him when I tried to help him. He thanked me the other day, said that he was wrong in his judgement. I hope he won't treat the next mage he meets so harshly."

"You healed him?"

"He was wounded."

"That was very forgiving of you. You are stronger than most people I have met in a long time."

Eirlana smiled shyly. "I don't feel strong. I am so unsure and afraid of so many things."

"You have wisdom and insight. I wish there would be more people as observant as you are."

"Ghi'lan taught me how to look. He had me study a stone for hours."

"He made you study a stone?"

"He used to say. Every detail is worth your attention. Otherwise, it will be lost forever before you even knew it was there. He gave me a marbled stone and let me remember and describe every swirl of it."

"Your teacher sounds like a wise person."

"He was."

"There they are. They probably did some weird elfy stuff." Sera greeted them. They had reached the camp. After a brief rest, they moved out to search for the Bull's Chargers and the missing soldiers.

.

The Bull's Chargers were found with ease. They spotted them down at the beach fighting some Tevinter agents at the coast. They hurried down a narrow path to join the fray. The battle was quickly won. Eirlana waited together with Solas and Varric until Ryan and Cassandra had finished talking with their leader The Iron Bull.

Varric let out a long sigh. "Somewhere across these waters lies Kirkwall."

"That is where you from, isn't it?"

"Yes, Snowflake, born and raised there. This is as close as I will get until this mess is solved. It makes me really miss it. The journey to Haven wasn't exactly fun, but considering the company, I'm surprised it didn't feel longer."

Eirlana watched as Ryan was talking. "Is he a Qunari?"

"That's how they come. Big, grey, swinging around big weapons. Though this one seems a lot chattier than the ones I have met."

"I have only heard stories about them in Tevinter. They talk about them as if they were wild beasts."

"My advice is, don't make them mad. I have seen what they do when you piss them off. Other than that they are like every other person only more grumpier and bigger. And there is the Qun of course, their way of life. I have never understood it."

.

After they teamed up with the Chargers, they found the missing soldiers murdered by a group called the Blades of Hessarian. Ryan was outraged that a group of heretics dared to attack the Inquisition. Their encounter with them was a bloody one. They found their compound and a bitter battle was fought.

Solas was displeased. This battle could have been avoided if they had challenged their leader. Ryan had chosen otherwise and wanted to eradicate them. He found one of Varric's books Hard in Hightown. They were just ordinary people. It is always the same he thought sadly. The common people suffer for the actions made by misguided leaders.

Continuing combing the area, they found several rifts and managed to close them. They also discovered different old structures and statues hewed from the rocky cliffs.

"These structures. Did dwarves build them?" Eirlana asked Varric.

"That's what dwarves are good at. They can't help themselves, they must build things when they are somewhere. There was once a dwarven port here. It was connected to several thaigs and Orzammar by the Deep Roads. These coasts were a beehive of activity back then. The Blights put an end to it. The entrances to the Deep Roads were sealed, and the port lies long abandoned. Now only these structures are left of those glorious days."

Solas had listened to his story. "This fall of the dwarven lands, I find it confusing."

"What is so confusing about fighting endless hordes of darkspawn."

"A great deal, although that is a different matter. The dwarves control the flow of lyrium. They could demand help or new lands to rebuild."

"That isn't going to happen. Dwarves are very private. I would sooner grow tall, then Orzammar would reach out for help. Not to mention most of them wouldn't be caught dead on the surface."

.

The campfires were more lively that evening. The Bull's Chargers were laughing, drinking and sharing stories. Sera was doing impersonations of several noble 'pricks' she had paid a visit. Iron Bull laughed and took a long drink from his mug. He walked over to Varric and Solas, who sat at a quieter fire, to join them. "So you two have travelled with the boss for some time now?"

Varric was carefully filling Bianca with new bolts "Not that long. Not until the sky decided to rip open."

"This is seriously some weird stuff that is going on." Iron Bull agreed. "But how is the boss? You know, anything I should watch out for when I cover you guys." He noticed a tension spreading over Solas. Varric glanced at Solas. Clearly, the elf had some problems with the boss.

"Nothing particular Tiny, just don't trip over me. Had already too many Qunari who have done that."

Iron Bull laughed loud. "Tiny that is a good one. You have met my people before?"

"I have seen my fair share in Kirkwall."

"Oh yes, that was a big mess going on there."

"You know you are very chatty for a Qunari. The ones I met did mostly grunt in various forms of displeasure if they said anything at all."

"In Kirkwall, there was mostly the Antaam. They are not used to outsiders expect when they need to hit things. They speak mostly Qunlat and probably didn't understand you."

"And you don't?"

"Oh, I speak Qunlat, but also common, several dialects, Tevene. I have travelled around."

.

Eirlana walked through the people looking for Solas, Krem bumped into her, and she recoiled, mumbling a sorry before she walked out from the camp. Trying to get a hold of her anxiety.

Iron Bull noticed her reaction. "Hmm." he grunted. "Was it a Vint?"

Solas tensed again looking sharply at him. "You are very observant."

"Comes with the job description. She carries a lot of scars. The ones no one can see are the deepest. That's why I know. It is the reason I am here now. The slaves we freed on Seheron often took months."

"To learn the Qun?" Solas asked.

"No. To become people again."

Varric placed Bianca to the side. "She really didn't know anything else until you met her Chuckles?"

Solas thought for a moment after the incident with the templar. It had become common knowledge that he had freed her. She was open about the fact she was once a slave in Tevinter but kept quiet about what she had experienced there. "That is what she has told me."

"Shit. She has no luck. First Tevinter, a templar and now a hole in the sky. At least she met you."

Solas stood up. "I wouldn't call that luck master Tethras." and walked into the direction she had disappeared in.

"Always the optimist Chuckles."

.

Solas found Eirlana at the edge of the cliff, staring at the ocean. "Don't wander too far. These coasts are not known for their safety."

"I am sorry. I..." she bit her lip, she was nervous.

"Tell me what's on your mind."

"It is hard to be with the others. It is easier when I have something to do, something to focus on."

"I understand. The Bull's Chargers are very lively."

She laughed. "Yes, they are."

Suddenly rain started to pour down. They hurried back to the camp. By the time they arrived the fires were abandoned. Everyone had gone into their tents for shelter.

Quickly they went into their own tent. They hung their wet coats at the back of the tent to dry. Solas turned his back while he changed, so she had some privacy. When he turned back around, she was dressed in her sleeping linens shivering.

"Are you cold?" He took her hand and warmed his own with magic.

Eirlana froze and quickly pulled back her hand.

"Sorry." they said at the same time. They laughed nervously.

Slowly she laid her hands back into his hands. "Sorry, I don't like it when people suddenly touch me."

"And I am sorry I took your hand without considering." he activated his magic again and warmed her. "I probably shouldn't try to attempt that. I would freeze my own hands." she joked.

Laughing he replied. "You certainly have a unique take on fire spells."

Eirlana felt sore, her muscles stiff from the fighting and climbing the cliffs. Feeling tired and enjoying the warmth from Solas her eyes felt heavy. Sleep wasn't far away.

They lay down on their new bed, they shared a large bear fur with several wolf pelts. That the Inquisition grew had some benefits Solas thought as he settled in for the night. He always had a fondness for furs, the pureness of nature, its primal strength, the wild beauty. It suited him. It was not for nothing he was named after a wolf when he gained a reputation on the battlefields. He was methodical, patient, intelligent but savage when he strikes, wild, unchecked raw power. How pitiful he was now reduced to this weakened state. The others would laugh at him, mock him, if they could see him now. Listening to the rain falling on the canvas he drifted asleep into the Fade.

.

Solas walked on top of one of the cliffs at the rugged seashore. Looking out on the water he saw a great battle taking place. Spirits had gathered reliving the memory as burning ships sank, longboats toppled, and two armies clashed on the beaches below. Another ancient battle, another history written in blood.

"Do you always travel this far back?"

He turned around and saw Eirlana walking towards him. How did she find him? The Fade is infinite, to meet each other is almost impossible. He could seek out certain people in their dreams if there was a connection. To be able to travel the depths of the Fade without aid. He was amazed how effortlessly she accomplished the same. To have picked up this faded memory without lyrium was on its own remarkable. But casually meeting each other and to be able to communicate he had never seen anything like it. His eyes sparkled with curiosity. "No, not always. Do you?"

She stood beside him. "No, I don't think so. It has been a long time since I could choose freely where to travel. I didn't have much choice in the past. With the lyrium, it always felt as if I was thrown into the deep ocean. Before they pulled me out of it again by force."

Solas felt himself staring at her in awe, as she looked out over the cliffs. She looked different, standing straight up, radiant, confident. A stark contrast with when he first met her or her conduct in the waking world. "You seem different here."

"This has been my home for a long time. It is my shelter where I feel safe. I am at peace here." Her voice started to tremble slightly. "Last time you saw me here was an awful day. I... I don't know how much longer I would have lasted. You saved my life that day."

"What has been done to you is monstrous. No one should be treated like you've been."

"Yet you were the first to act upon it." A sigh left her lips. "I never thought I would be standing free. I always expected to die. That one day I wouldn't wake up. That they would have no further use for me. You gave me hope the world wasn't as bad as I thought. Thank you."

A world I want to destroy Solas thought. Through my actions, I have shaped this corrupted world.

"Why are you so sad?"

Solas had to blink. "I..." what should he tell her. "I hardly brought you to an easy place. The world has even become more dangerous now."

"The Fade isn't without dangers either. Though I find the dangers here more predictable."

He chuckled. "That is true. I can think of several lectures the others would give us when they hear us."

They laughed at the thought.

"I am curious, may I?" Solas asked.

"What do you want to do?"

"May I enter your dream. I am most curious how you view the Fade."

"Do you not see the same battle as I?"

Solas had to smile, with all her experience, she was led by instinct. What could she achieve with proper training?

"Every person is different, so are their dreams. How they interpret an event, how they view things, their emotions. The Fade is influenced by all of them. I, for example, try to observe, to let the Fade shape itself by the things long past. That we have walked into each other so to speak, I didn't think it would be possible. Yet we have met for the second time. I want to visit your dream, to see what you are seeing."

Eirlana pondered for a while. Solas almost suggested to forget his request when she answered. "Alright. Do I need to do something?"

"No, just focus on that what you see."

Solas concentrated on her. The Fade shifted lightly around him as he entered her dream. The colours intensified, they were brighter, more vivid. The noises of the battle were more on the distant. The horizon felt infinite, the sky was tinted in brilliant hues of blue, pink and yellow. He was astonished this shouldn't be possible. She dreamed much like him. The level of detail was unbelievable, her focus so naturally, so effortlessly.

"Is it that strange?"

"Excuse me?"

"You are staring. Is something wrong?"

"Did you always dream like this?"

"It was much greyer at first. It changed a lot since I met Ghi'lan. He taught me much of the Fade. Do you dream differently?"

"A little."

"Can you teach me how to visit someone? Can I visit yours? You are the first I have ever met in here. I mean someone else who isn't a spirit."

"It is a difficult ability to learn, but I believe you will master it with time."

They spent the rest of the night together, exploring this part of the Fade. Talking with several spirits about what they had witnessed in the past and watching their memories.

.

Dawn had just arrived when Solas woke up. The rain had stopped overnight, and he could hear the waves crash against the coastline. The Fade called to him to return. There was still a little time, he could drift back. He felt comfortable and warm, lying against Eirlana.

His eyes shot open. During the night they both had rolled together. His arm lay softly on the blanket around her waist. Her breath was gently brushing along his neck. He could feel the warmth of her body through the blankets. With every breath, he took he faintly could smell her scent mixed with the wildflowers of her scented oil. She stirred in her sleep, nuzzling herself against him. A shiver ran through him. Carefully he slipped from her and out of the tent. Outside a morning breeze cooled his heated body as he walked from the camp.

He felt confused, he needed to put some distance between himself and her. She was awakening emotions in him he hadn't felt for many centuries. Thoughts shot through his mind.

'Of course, I feel protective of her, I have saved her.'

'But you have freed countless others before. You never gave them any thought.' he contradicted himself.

'It was a natural reaction. I haven't felt the warmth of a woman in a long time. This is nonsense, a phase I will get over it. I am only interested in her abilities, she is not tranquil like the rest.'

'Only her abilities? You even bought her that scented oil.'

'It was nothing special.'

'Nothing special? Don't lie to yourself. You bought it after you both had been newly clad. It bothered you she wasn't wearing anything from you. You can't deny she is becoming special to you.'

He had returned to the camp, just as Ryan emerged from his tent. The Anchor faintly glowed in his left hand. Solas eyes hardened. He needed to focus on the reason why he was here, to get the Anchor ready to close the Breach. All his sacrifices would mean nothing if he would allow this world to be ripped apart. This world was an abomination that should never have happened. It was a mistake. A mistake he had made, and the People had paid the price for it. In his long slumber, he only could witness the events of the centuries. Now he was awake he could finally act and correct it.

.

The others slowly woke up. Varric crawled out of the tent half asleep, his hair standing at odd angles. Iron Bull greeted his men with a couple of shoves and slaps. Cassandra emerged already in full armor.

Solas heard Varric mutter. "Does she sleep in it?"

"Morning Chuckles, please tell me you already have the coffee ready."

"I am sorry Varric, I haven't." as he poured in a cup tea for himself. He poured a second cup when Eirlana made her appearance.

"Good morning lethallan." he greeted her, handing her the cup. Lethallan, it had naturally rolled off his tongue. He really couldn't longer deny he felt a connection towards her.

"Good morning" she blushed slightly. With a smile, she added "Lethallin."

Varric couldn't help but grin broadly at them as he made his coffee. Maybe he could give writing about romance another try.

* * *

I know Solas isn't a tea person, too bad for him I am. I have decided he drinks herbal teas, with no caffeine. I can't imagine living in Haven or Skyhold without something hot to drink. ;)

Lethallin/Lethallan - very close and dear friend


	7. Chapter 7

Oh, man, December is really the busiest month in the year. Everything has to be finished and 384 people want to do something fun because it's the Christmas season. My head was spinning so I got not much writing done. Luckily now with all the holidays and special occasions behind us, I managed to finish another chapter.

Thank you for all the support! Enjoy!

I wish you all a happy, colourful and cosy 2017.

* * *

.

 **Chapter 7**

.

"Solas, have you always lived alone? Out in the wilderness, as an apostate?" Solas looked up from his book. The party had made camp in the Hinterlands before they would travel to Redcliffe. It was lively this evening. Sera's cussing could be heard clearly while she was practising her combat moves with Skinner, a rogue of the Bull's Chargers. Ryan talked excitedly with Blackwall, a Grey Warden who had just joined them. Varric's arms made big gestures as he told a story to Eirlana and Iron Bull. Bull roared in laughter slapping his knee. Eirlana covered her mouth while she giggled. A smile formed on his lips as he watched her before he gave Cassandra his full attention. "That is correct Seeker. Though, I had occasional contact, mostly small villages. Away from the presence of the ever-vigilant templars."

"That would be a trying and lonely existence."

"People can be trying, mankind most of all. I grew accustomed doing things on my own. One can call it a lonely existence, but you can stand in a crowd and still be alone. It is true that it has been some time since I have travelled with such a diverse group. The days ahead will be... interesting. "

"I agree that our companions are colourful. I must confess. Solas, I'm surprised you decided to stay."

"Why? The Breach remains a threat to us all."

"Just the same, I know being surrounded by Chantry forces is hardly comfortable. I wondered if you might leave, now that we have a plan to seal it."

"Ah, because I am an apostate. I might flee before I am thrown in chains? I take my commitments seriously, Seeker. Come what may, I shall see this through. My skills and knowledge are needed here."

"As you wish, though I cannot guarantee what will happen in the days to come."

"There are no guarantees. We have been set on a path from which no one can foresee the outcome. I hope we will succeed in the end."

"That is also my hope. I am grateful you and Eirlana decided to stay. Your help is appreciated."

.

"No freaking way I go there." Sera sat down in protest as they prepared to leave the following day.

Solas agreed with her for once. It wouldn't help their cause if they showed up with such large a number. He approached Ryan. "It may be wiser to meet the First Enchanter with a smaller number of people."

"I don't know. There is no telling what we will face. The village is occupied by mages after all. There could be abominations or demons running rampant."

Solas thought the notion ridicules. "We have been invited by the First Enchanter." he argued calmly. "Meeting them with a small army might be seen as hostile. It wouldn't work in our favour."

"I don't trust them."

"They don't have to know that."

"All right. Cassandra, Blackwall, Solas and Eirlana come with me. The rest stays here. If we are not back in a couple of hours, there has gone something wrong. Take actions according and sent a message to Haven."

.

Something did go wrong, but sooner than Ryan thought it would. It began with a rift that appeared in front of the gates of Redcliffe. Fields of distorted time appeared in its wake making the combat dangerously chaotic and unpredictable.

"What? What was that?" Ryan panted. He looked confused around after he had closed the rift.

Cassandra sheeted her sword. "We don't know what these rifts are capable of."

Solas' skin crawled, this was wrong. It shouldn't be possible to alter the Veil in such a way. It had twisted and weakened in a way he had never seen before. This couldn't have been caused by the mages.

It was worse as he entered Redcliffe.

From the look of the town, you couldn't tell something was amiss or that a war was raging through these lands. The town lay silent at the calm shores of Lake Calenhad. The townsfolk and mages alike were chatting peacefully on this sunny day.

Solas couldn't believe his eyes. The mages, why weren't they worried or nervous about the state of the Veil? This showed how incompetent they were. How little they understand about the world and their gift. Solas stopped as the others walked further. He felt as if he was standing alone in this distorted world. How could these people stand it? How could they live such ignorant lives? He felt as if he was the only one awake in the world. The others asleep, not conscious of its potential, its wonders. They were like tranquil, through his actions he had made them all tranquil.

"Solas?" Eirlana had halted her step next to him. He felt her squeeze his arm a little hesitant. "The Veil, this feels wrong. How has this happened?" He could feel her tension through her touch. A wave of affinity washed over him, his eyes softened as he looked at her. "I felt it lethallan. I have never encountered anything like it. As for how this has occurred, I have no idea. Maybe the First Enchanter will have answers for us."

"I am surprised there is no open use of magic." Cassandra stated as they caught up with the others.

Solas found it ironic, coming from the one person who was always armed. "Magic is a tool. It can be used and overused as any other. Most mages just want to live like any other."

"Tell that to the refugees at the Crossroads." Ryan grunted. "Come to the inn, let's get this over with."

.

The peacefulness of the village ended as they entered the inn. That the mages had pledged themselves to Tevinter came as a shock. Eirlana couldn't believe it as the leader of the mages Fiona told them she had no other choice than to form an alliance with Tevinter. There was always a choice, she thought. As the new leader, Alexius appeared, a chill ran through her body. He had the same calculating, cruel look like her old master. His greedy, cold eyes set on the world to better himself by any means. Unknowingly she shuffled closer to Solas and grabbed his arm again. Her grip tightened as the magister came closer.

Solas sensed her fear. He could understand that this would awaken unpleasant memories. Gently he placed his hand over hers.

Ryan's stance made clear he wasn't pleased with the situation either.

"Welcome, my friends. I apolo..." Alexius began before Ryan interrupted him.

"I am no friend of yours Tevinter, and you are a long way from home."

"Let me introduce myself I am Magister Gerion Alexius, and this is my son Felix. The southern mages are under my command. I would be honoured to offer help with the Breach. There is no telling what the effects will be."

"I have nothing with you to discuss." Ryan walked towards the door when Felix bumped into him. "Forgive me." Felix mumbled before he almost fainted. Alexius panicked when his son seemed ill. Eirlana hesitated a moment then started to move towards him, Solas grabbed her hand firm and shook his head slightly. Something was off in this whole situation. He could understand the attitude of the mages. They grew up in isolation, feared and hated by the people. Taken away forcefully from their families, being locked away. They knew nothing of the real world and were only allowed into the outside world if their control and views of magic met the Chantries demands. Like with Enchanter Vivienne. Exceptions were made whenever there was a war or blight. When their powers were tools to be used. The appearance of some Tevinter magister now was too convenient for the mages, maybe he had some connection with what had gone wrong at the conclave. Until now, his people hadn't found any leads as to what had occurred during the destruction of the Temple of Sacred Ashes. It was time to contact his agents again to redirect their efforts.

Eirlana studied Solas closely as he stared at Alexius. As so often before, she wondered what was going on in his mind.

Alexius departed "Please friends. I will send you a message to continue this conversation another time."

Ryan stepped outside the inn. "I doubt there will be another time." He grumbled and read a note in his hand. "Apparently we are in danger. Someone wants to meet us in the Chantry. Let's go, but be on your guard. There is no telling what else we will find here."

.

"Fascinating. How does that work, exactly? You don't even know, do you? You just wiggle your fingers and boom! Rift closes."

Ryan had just helped a mage closing a rift in the Chantry. He was flamboyant, well-groomed and confident. Solas had to smirk. Why was it that an outsider asked the right questions. Whereas the rest more and more accepted it to be Andraste's blessing that bestowed Ryan the mark. A gift to stand against this evil. No questions asked as to how it worked.

"Who are you?" Ryan narrowed his eyes, not sheathing his sword.

"Ah. Getting ahead of myself again. I see. Dorian of House Pavus, most recently of Minrathous. How do you do?"

Dorian told them that Alexius had allied himself with a Tevinter group called the Venatori. Alexius had altered time itself to be here before the Inquisition. They seemed obsessed with Ryan. Ryan reacted sceptically not trusting the mage.  
Time magic? That a human had accomplished this. Solas was also sceptical, if altering time was just as easy, he wouldn't be in this predicament. It, however, would explain the current state of the Veil here. Toying with the foundations of the world was extremely dangerous and came with great costs. He doubted the human had spent much thought on the consequences of his actions as most of his kind do. The Fools!

"The rift you closed here? You saw how it twisted time around itself, sped some things up and slowed others down. Soon there will be more like it. The magic Alexius is using is wildly unstable, and it's unravelling the world." Dorian explained further.

The frown on Ryan's face had only deepened. "Why should I believe any of this?"

Because we personally have witnessed the unstable state of the Veil Solas thought.

Dorian also appeared agitated by Ryan's apparent distrust. "I know what I'm talking about. I helped develop this magic. When I was still his apprentice, it was pure theory. Alexius could never get it to work. Now he has used it under orders of the Venatori. What their goals are I am not sure of yet, but it most certain involves you. You are one of their targets. Maybe it has something to do with that mark. I will contact you if I have more information, I can't stay here for long. Alexius doesn't know I'm here and I want to keep it that way. I'll be in touch. And whenever you want to deal with him, I will be there." With that, Dorian walked away.

.

"I knew coming here was a mistake!" Ryan ranted as they exited the Chantry. "Now we have some cult working against us. Who knows? Maybe they even have something to do with that hole in the sky."

"This doesn't look good." Blackwall agreed.

"It was not a waste. Now we know of this alliance and can warn Denerim. We better check the village for any more surprises or clues about the agenda of these Venatori." Cassandra suggested.

They found a grim surprise indeed. They already had stumbled upon several skulls in the Hinterlands and at the coast. In a small hut, they found dozens more of them. Apparently, the Venatori made these oculara and were using them to search for those strange shards they had found.

Solas eyes scanned a book he found in the hut.

"Who were they?" Eirlana asked, her face had turned pale after seeing the shelves with dozens of skulls on the walls.

"Who knows." Ryan commented.

"Apparently each occularum is made from the skull of a tranquil. It is written here in this crude journal."

Cassandra's face hardened. "I wondered where they went. I should have looked harder for them."

"Poor bastards." Blackwall mumbled.

"Wait! All these, all these skulls and those we found were tranquil?" Eirlana stared at them. She had seen only one tranquil in her life. An elven woman with the Inquisition. Her blank stares and demeanour were unsettling. She shuddered. "How many tranquil are there? How can so many skulls exist?"

"The right of Tranquillity is an act of mercy. An act of kindness for those who are not strong enough or can't pass the harrowing." Cassandra explained.

"Kindness?" Eirlana felt sick to her stomach. "How is it a kindness to strip the soul of someone? How is it a kindness to strip someone of their magic? Of their emotions, their will."

"It is a necessary precaution." Ryan argued.

"This?" She pointed at the shelves. "This is barbaric! If you teach fear, you will reap fear!"

Solas lowered his eyes. He could understand she was upset. When he first witnessed the rite and its consequences in the Fade he felt outraged by this injustice, by this insane ritual. "What a tragic waste."

Eirlana stared at them. Tears welled up in her eyes. How can anyone find this normal? Her voice was like a whisper. "I don't know what is worse slavery or this." Abruptly she turned around and left them.

Ryan, Cassandra and Blackwall stared after her. Stunned by her outburst. Solas was slightly amused at the effect she had on them.

Cassandra cleared her throat. "Let's return to Haven, we have spent enough time here. Solas?"

Solas turned back around. "We will catch up with you after she has calmed down." Outside he spotted her at the far end of the docks, looking out over the lake.

Solas sat down silently beside her and followed her eyes out over the lake. Seagulls were flying over several fisher boats drifting on the shallow waves.  
"I am sorry I walked away." Eirlana said after a while.

"You were right to be upset lethallan."

"I wasn't surprised about the butchery. I learned in Tevinter that people will go to any lengths to archive their goals. I have seen and survived enough to know what they are capable of. Not everyone kills their slaves, but they are tools nonetheless, to be used until you are spent. "

Solas listened intensively, she hadn't spoken much of her time she spent as a slave.

"This mutilation of mages, I have heard of the practice but to see all these skulls... Solas. If we ever are put in a Circle what would happen to us?"

Solas thought for a moment. "Chances are high that we would undergo the same fate as many others who weren't understood, who were different. I think I would be made tranquil. If they knew what you are capable of, you would also not be spared."

"I always thought to be cut off from my magic was horrific, but to also be stripped of my free will, my soul." She shuddered. Both lost in their thoughts they fell silent for a while.

"I don't understand this fear of magic. I always thought it to be a gift, not a burden."

"Don't forget most people grow up with fear of magic. You were correct that when you preach fear, you reap it. Imagine if you suddenly are capable of doing things you have always been told to fear. The fear has already taken root. That fear attracts the wrong kind of attention in the Fade."

"Is that how it was for you? Did you grow up with knowing that fear?"

Solas was prepared for questions like these, but he somehow felt reluctant to tell her his lies. "I was fortunate my parents didn't believe strongly in the teachings of the Chantry. So no I didn't grow up with fear being preached. Looking how young mages are removed forcefully from their families I was fortunate."

"Where are your parents now?"

"They have passed away for some time."

"Oh, I am sorry."

"Don't be, they had a good life. I am grateful they don't need to witness what has become of this world." Solas stood up the sun was already sinking. "Shall we depart and return?"

Eirlana hesitated. What would they think of her after she had yelled at them?

Solas offered his hand to help her up. "Come lethallan. Otherwise, I have to suffer through Varric's lecture if I return without your company." he joked.

She accepted his hand smiling at his comment.

.

The sun sent her last rays of light over the mountain peaks as night was falling. Haven settled in its evening routine. People were sharing stories around fires, playing cards in the tavern, visited the Chantry or did other relaxing activities. Eirlana sat at the table in the small cottage, bowed over a paper. She traced a quill carefully across it, writing the letters and words Solas had written for her. She looked at her work, her letters were more crooked than his beautiful curly writing.

"How does your writing fare lethallan?" Solas lay down his book and walked over to her.

"Better I think." she showed him her work. The paper was a little blotted with ink where she had hesitated. But her letters were curly and well readable.

"Considering the limited time we have you are making great progress." He tried to suppress his snigger. "You have done well."

She could see the corners of his mouth twitch "Is something funny? Did I make a mistake?"

"I am sorry, you have ink on your face."

"Where?" Eirlana rubbed on her cheeks smearing more ink on her face from her fingers.

Solas burst out in laughter at her action. He tried to compose himself again and covered his mouth with his hand.

"You are making fun of me." She punched him on his arm, then walked towards the water basin and started to wash her face and hands.

He was still laughing, he couldn't help himself. He found it incredibly amusing.

"Is it gone?" she dried her face with a towel.

"Not quite." he took the towel from her and brushed away a stain on her forehead. He had stopped laughing. He wondered why it felt so natural for her to be around him. When was the last time he had laughed so freely? He felt something stir deep within him.

His intense stare was making Eirlana nervous. "Does it not come off?" Solas blinked a few times.

"No. It is all gone." He quickly stepped away from her, turning his back.

The silence he emitted felt heavy in the small room. Wondering what had happened in this short moment, she tried to break the atmosphere. "They are going to reach out to the templars. Won't they?"

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "After the mages alliance, I have no doubt. Ryan already mistrusted them, and now they have pledged themselves to Tevinter. It was a hasty and foolish move on their part."

"Who do you think they should choose?"

Solas turned back towards her. "We need help to close the Breach. Either party could provide this. We should support whatever decision they are going to make. My personal opinion is insignificant against the bigger matters we face."

Gone was that awkward silent moment. He was back to his old reserved, thoughtful, confident self. His eyes rested on her. She felt small and unnoticeable in comparison. A shyness spread through her, she looked down at her feet. "You are always so thoughtful and confident. I wish I was more like you."

"Don't sell yourself short." he lifted her chin so their eyes would meet. "You are as valuable as any other." If not more, he added silently. "You have more strength in you than you are aware of. Don't doubt yourself."

.

There was a knock on the door and Varric entered. "Chuckles, Snowflake we are a few hands short at Wicked Grace." Seeing them close together he grinned. "Oh sorry, am I interrupting?"

Solas stepped away from Eirlana. "No, you are not. I am sorry Varric I have to pass. Another time perhaps."

"Wicked Grace. That is that card game you play a lot, isn't it?"

"Correct Snowflake. You probably have never had the chance to play it."

She shook her head.

"You go, I have some more reading to finish." Solas put a small purse in her hands.

"But I..."

Solas placed her cloak on her shoulders. "Go. Enjoy yourself." She hesitated for a moment before she joined Varric. He closed the door behind them and turned back to his book. This was good, she should socialise more. He wouldn't be around anymore when the Breach was closed.

.

"Come Snowflake. I arranged one of the huts for tonight. The boys sleeping there are on patrol. And it is less crowded than the tavern."

Eirlana was grateful she didn't need to sit in the crowded tavern. "Wicked Grace is it difficult to learn?"

"No worries you will learn in no time. What do you drink by the way?"

"Tea mostly why?"

Varric had to laugh. "I meant something stronger sweetness, like ale, wine, whisky. Drinking is a requirement when playing."

"Wine I think. I have never tasted the others."

"Wine it is. Wait here for a second." He dove into the tavern to pick up a bottle for her. A short while later he returned, bottle in hand. "Come on. Before the others start without us."

They entered one of the smaller cottages. A warm fire was blazing in the fireplace, candles had been lit, beds pushed to the side, and a table dragged into the centre of the room. Iron Bull and Krem, his lieutenant, were arm wrestling on it.  
Cullen watched them both with interest. He still couldn't believe Varric had set him up. Earlier that day Varric had started bragging about the Bull's Chargers. How their members were in excellent shape. That his men had it easier now they had capable men to watch their backs. Before Cullen knew it, he was talked into a sparring match between his recruits and the Bull's men. Bull had trained his men to be adaptable, they worked excellently as a team. His men had lost, and he had lost the bet Varric had talked him into. As a result, he had to join Varric and Bull that evening to play Wicked Grace. He had no time for this, duties were waiting for him, there was so much to do.

"Look who I found!" Varric announced himself.

Cullen looked up and abruptly rose up when he saw Eirlana. His chair fell over behind him. With a flushed face, he picked it up. "Good evening Eirlana."

Varric and Bull didn't miss a beat. Their eyes glinted as a grin formed on their faces, this would be fun.

Varric pulled a chair across from Cullen for her. "Here Snowflake, take a seat."

Wondering what the evening would bring she sat down. "Hello."

"Good to see you. So are we gonna play or not?" Bull asked filling everyone's mugs.

"We are, but let's start easy we have two greenhorns at the table." Varric grinned at Cullen.

"I have played it before!" he sputtered.

"Did I touch a nerve Curly?"

"I knew this was a mistake."

"First mistake was betting with a dwarf." Varric took a drink. "So Snowflake the game rules are simple. You have to try to get as many pairs or more from the same kind, the higher the cards, the better. There are serpents, songs, angels and knights, serpents are the most points, knights the least. We play until the angel of death turns up, we bet each round, you go with the bet or quit. The rest you will pick up as we go. Oh, and cheating is allowed unless you get caught."

"Cheating?"

"You will see, you will learn it quickly. Tiny you're okay with only one eye?" Varric winked at him as he dealt the cards.

"Hmmpf just wait and see." Iron Bull grunted.

Krem laughed loud. "Finally someone who can talk some hair on your pillowy man-bosoms."

Many hours later Eirlana returned. Solas was already fast asleep on his bed a book still in his hand. A smile formed on her lips as she saw his relaxed sleeping face. It was rare to see him so at peace. Carefully she removed the book and tucked up his blankets. She hesitated and then in a bold move caressed his cheek softly. At that moment Solas turned, and his lips lightly brushed her hand. Quickly she pulled her hand away, a strange new feeling ran through her body. Unsure what it was she went to sleep.

.

As they had predicted, the Inquisition had chosen to contact the templars. Therinfal Redoubt, their stronghold, lay in the lush green countryside of the Southern Hills. As they rode through the hills, they could see the golden and copper roofs of their Chantry glittering in the sun from afar. Templar banners hung proudly from its walls and poles. Eirlana expected it would look more ominous, but the peaceful landscape suggested nothing was amiss. Ryan was excited the templars had finally agreed to a meeting. He talked a lot during their journey here how he always wished to join the order. Sadly his family affairs had kept him from truly join their ranks. Cassandra pointed out it was luck he hadn't joined, judging recent events.

Solas had little personal experience with the order. Though what he had witnessed was its rise to power in his centuries of observing the mortal world. He found the order cruel and barbaric, full of superstition and judgement, their beliefs and views seen as righteous and truthful. In his eyes they were an organisation long gone drunk by wealth and power, their motives deformed and mutated into a system ripe with abuse. Yet he couldn't deny the choice the Herald made. The Breach needed to be closed and the logic the templars could use their abilities to weaken it was solid. The order, however, what it represented and stood for he despised. With their 'righteous crusade' against magic, a force so old and pure that was a part of the world. A part of the People, that they didn't understand and didn't want to understand out of fear. Fear of things beyond their limited minds.

.

Many horses and carriages stood along the road leading up to the fortress. Servants and guards of the nobles that had arrived in alliance with the Inquisition rested and waited for their masters to return. Solas dismounted, and one of the inquisition soldiers took his reins. He observed as several nobles already talked with the flustered templars. They were clearly out of their element.

"Solas, lethallin?"

He turned towards Eirlana. She was visibly nervous. He was relieved she would stay behind with the others in case something would go wrong. She didn't need another traumatic encounter with a templar.

"Yes, lethallan?"

"Be careful."

"I will. Don't worry too much." Solas joined Ryan, Cassandra and Vivienne towards the fortress. As he observed the templars, he found them strangely aimlessly. Judging from their conduct, these were young recruits, the normal soldiers. No one seemed in charge. Something was wrong here, there was tension in the air. The Veil felt surprisingly thin here. With the templars presence, it was unexpected. Normally only strong magic or events could alter the Veil. This had been the templars place of teaching for centuries, the Veil should be stable here. Maybe the templars had an influence on the Veil he wasn't aware of. With Ryan doing the talking Solas waited patiently for the secrets to unfold themselves.

He didn't have to wait long, after their initial greeting they were let to a flag ritual. Ryan had to participate in it to show what he values the most. There was a symbol of the templars, Andraste and the people. Solas wasn't surprised when Ryan hoisted Andraste's flag first. He wondered how many of the templars who chose the order first had climbed up to higher ranks in the order. An order said to be the sword of Andraste. How many crimes had been committed in her name? Belief can be a foundation for unity, but it also brought many dangers. It was evident throughout the countries in their treatment of magic, mages, elves and people who believed differently. If you are not with us, you are against us. It reminded him the things he had to watch out for if he succeeded in his plans. He didn't want to create another injustice for a second time.

.

Solas felt alarmed as the Knight-Captain appeared. He and his men felt wrong somehow, something was not right. He was ready when the Knight-Captain declared they had to be purged. Before the first arrow flew, he had erected his barriers to protect his companions. Quickly they counter-attacked as they heard fighting break out all over the fortress. The Knight-Captain and his men seemed disfigured and fought with unusual strength. Solas found it difficult for his magic to 'stick', as if they were more immune to the magical effects.

"Quickly we need to get to the Lord Seeker and put a stop to whatever is going on here." Ryan panted and turned to Sir Barris who had aided them.

Solas knelt beside one of the fallen archers. Removing his helm he uncovered a sickly pale yellow skin, dark veins run over the face, his hollow eyes glowed with red sparks. "They have been infected."

"What is it Solas?" Cassandra strode towards him.

"They have been consuming red lyrium. Judging by the marks for some time now."

"This is monstrous." Cassandra exclaimed.

"Maker! How could this happen? Let's go!" Ryan led the way.

They had to fight many red templars on their way to the Lord Seeker. Every one of them corrupted, deformed and vicious. Their battles were hard fought. They encountered several uncorrupted templars fighting for their lives. Slowly they gathered a small troupe, fighting side by side with them.

.

"You are better at Wicked Grace than I thought." Varric waited with Bull and Eirlana at the small bridge leading to the fortress.

"You could have stripped the Commander out of his clothes." Iron Bull laughed.

"I… I couldn't do that." Eirlana cheeks flushed at the idea, she didn't understand half of the events from that evening.

"See that's why you win." Iron Bull took a bite of some dried meat. "That sweet face of yours has them fooled. Too bad you didn't go for it. The guys would have loved to see Cullen in his birthday suit. On the other hand, I would have trouble to find a girl for the night if he decided to show off those muscles."

"Aren't they taking long?" Eirlana was eyeing the gates nervously.

"Relax Snowflake they need to talk politics, that can take the whole day."

"I don't know. All those templars don't know what's going on. Hmph, something is off." Iron Bull narrowed his eye.

Suddenly they heard screams and swords clashing.

"Oh looks like the talks are over. Time to work!" Bull took his giant battle axe and stormed towards the gates. Eirlana stood frozen as nobles rushed in panic over the bridge. Fear ran through her body. Solas was inside.

"Come on Snowflake let's make sure Tiny hits the right target." Varric let loose a barrage of arrows in a templar attacking a noblewoman. Red crystals seemed to grow out of his helmet. "Shit! Why is this stuff following me wherever I go."

The others had almost reached the Chantry on the higher levels of the fortress. Solas glanced down at the courtyard. The gates were blocked, and several templars were protecting the nobles from the red templars.

They were outnumbered, and he and the others were too far away to help. He closed his eyes and turned away when with a loud explosion the gates shuddered. Iron Bull and his men stormed into the courtyard with the Inquisition troops close behind. He caught sight of Eirlana moving fluently through the turmoil. Her magic lashing out at any red templar who was unfortunate to come to close. Suddenly she looked up, directly at him.

How is she doing that? Solas wondered it wasn't the first time she had spotted him right away.

With most of the templars dealt with Varric followed Eirlana's eyes and spotted Solas. "Looks like they are alright. Good, let's clean up this mess down here."

The Lord Seeker turned out to be replaced by an envy demon. It surprised Solas that Ryan was able to repel him. Envy is a powerful emotion, capable of many terrible things. Its manifestation was just as tricky and powerful, not easily beaten. The remaining templars watched in shock at the transformation of their leader. The betrayal of the order was written on their faces, they had lost hope.

Ryan stepped forward in the Chantry. "That thing was not your leader. It was an envy demon lusting for power and destruction. Andraste has shielded me and given me the strength to stand against it. You are templars, Andraste's soldiers. Andraste has sent me to you to remind you of your pledge to defend the people against corrupt magic. We need to work together to beat this monster. Andraste's chosen soldiers need to work together, combine your strengths. TOGETHER we will bring down the beast!"

The templars roared with new vigour.

Yes, faith was a powerful tool Solas thought. A dangerous, powerful tool he had to watch out for.

.

They uncovered further corruption as they engaged the red templars further. There was enough evidence the leaders of the order had willingly infected their fellow templars. Ignoring the consequences to their men, all for the goal to strengthen the order to a new powerful, domineering organisation. Reports read that many of the knights that had taken red lyrium revelled in the strength they gained from it. They even found evidence they were plotting an assassination attempt on the Empress of Orlais. Ryan kept complaining loudly in disbelief about the betrayal of the order and its men. How could they let this happen?

"They are templars." Solas stated calmly, he had enough of his complaining.

"It figures you look down upon them. You being an apostate." Ryan sneered.

Solas continued in his calm voice. "It is not looking down upon them, to recognise what they are. Some have strong beliefs like yourself. Thoughtful soldiers doing what they believe is right. The rest? Younger sons, petty criminals, thugs, bullies, orphans... The order makes use of them. They are already accustomed to a life without choices. Here they are drilled to follow even the worst orders. Their addiction to lyrium making it worse. Many learn to seek an outlet in the joy of causing pain, to leap at any chance to swing a sword harder."

Ryan was getting even more agitated. "You judge them too harsh, they are protecting the people."

"I only see templars confused at what they should do. They leapt at your feet when you started to give out o get to the Lord Seeker and put a stop to whatever is going on here." Ryan panted and turned to Sir Barris who had aided them.  
Solas knelt beside one of the fallen archers. Removing his helm he uncovered a sickly pale yellow skin, dark veins run over the face, his hollow eyes glowed with red sparks. "They have been infected."

"What is it Solas?" Cassandra strode towards him.

"They have been consuming red lyrium. Judging by the marks for some time now."

"This is monstrous." Cassandra exclaimed.

"Maker! How could this happen? Let's go!" Ryan led the way.

They had to fight many red templars on their way to the Lord Seeker. Every one of them corrupted, deformed and vicious. Their battles were hard fought. They encountered several uncorrupted templars fighting for their lives. Slowly they gathered a small troupe, fighting side by side with them.

.

"You are better at Wicked Grace than I thought." Varric waited with Bull and Eirlana at the small bridge leading to the fortress.

"You could have stripped the Commander out of his clothes." Iron Bull laughed.

"I... I couldn't do that." Eirlana cheeks flushed at the idea, she didn't understand half of the events from that evening.

"See that's why you win." Iron Bull took a bite of some dried meat. "That sweet face of yours has them fooled. Too bad you didn't go for it. The guys would have loved to see Cullen in his birthday suit. On the other hand, I would have trouble to find a girl for the night if he decided to show off those muscles."

"Aren't they taking long?" Eirlana was eyeing the gates nervously.

"Relax Snowflake they need to talk politics, that can take the whole day."

"I don't know. All those templars don't know what's going on. Hmph, something is off." Iron Bull narrowed his eye.

Suddenly they heard screams and swords clashing.

"Oh looks like the talks are over. Time to work!" Bull took his giant battle axe and stormed towards the gates. Eirlana stood frozen as nobles rushed in panic over the bridge. Fear ran through her body. Solas was inside.

"Come on Snowflake let's make sure Tiny hits the right target." Varric let loose a barrage of arrows in a templar attacking a noblewoman. Red crystals seemed to grow out of his helmet. "Shit! Why is this stuff following me wherever I go."

.

The others had almost reached the Chantry on the higher levels of the fortress. Solas glanced down at the courtyard. The gates were blocked, and several templars were protecting the nobles from the red templars . They were outnumbered, and he and the others were too far away to help. He closed his eyes and turned away when with a loud explosion the gates shuddered. Iron Bull and his men stormed into the courtyard with the Inquisition troops close behind. He caught sight of Eirlana moving fluently through the turmoil. Her magic lashing out at any red templar who was unfortunate to come to close. Suddenly she looked up, directly at him.

How is she doing that? Solas wondered it wasn't the first time she had spotted him right away.

With most of the templars dealt with Varric followed Eirlana's eyes and spotted Solas. "Looks like they are alright. Good, let's clean up this mess down here."

.

The Lord Seeker turned out to be replaced by an envy demon. It surprised Solas that Ryan was able to repel him. Envy is a powerful emotion, capable of many terrible things. Its manifestation was just as tricky and powerful, not easily beaten. The remaining templars watched in shock at the transformation of their leader. The betrayal of the order was written on their faces, they had lost hope.

Ryan stepped forward in the Chantry. "That thing was not your leader. It was an envy demon lusting for power and destruction. Andraste has shielded me and given me the strength to stand against it. You are templars, Andraste's soldiers. Andraste has sent me to you to remind you of your pledge to defend the people against corrupt magic. We need to work together to beat this monster. Andraste's chosen soldiers need to work together, combine your strengths. TOGETHER we will bring down the beast!"

The templars roared with new vigour.

Yes, faith was a powerful tool Solas thought. A dangerous, powerful tool he had to watch out for.

.

They uncovered further corruption as they engaged the red templars further. There was enough evidence the leaders of the order had willingly infected their fellow templars. Ignoring the consequences to their men, all for the goal to strengthen the order to a new powerful, domineering organisation. Reports read that many of the knights that had taken red lyrium revelled in the strength they gained from it. They even found evidence they were plotting an assassination attempt on the Empress of Orlais. Ryan kept complaining loudly in disbelief about the betrayal of the order and its men. How could they let this happen?

"They are templars." Solas stated calmly, he had enough of his complaining.

"It figures you look down upon them. You being an apostate." Ryan sneered.

Solas continued in his calm voice. "It is not looking down upon them, to recognise what they are. Some have strong beliefs like yourself. Thoughtful soldiers doing what they believe is right. The rest? Younger sons, petty criminals, thugs, bullies, orphans... The order makes use of them. They are already accustomed to a life without choices. Here they are drilled to follow even the worst orders. Their addiction to lyrium making it worse. Many learn to seek an outlet in the joy of causing pain, to leap at any chance to swing a sword harder."

Ryan was getting even more agitated. "You judge them too harsh, they are protecting the people."

"I only see templars confused at what they should do. They leapt at your feet when you started to give out orders."

"Darlings, that is quite enough." Vivienne interrupted. "We have a demon to catch. I don't think it will be polite and wait for you two to finish."

.  
Eirlana was relieved when she saw Solas and the others come out of the fortress. Several templars followed them. Her smile disappeared when she saw the look on Solas face. While the others planned their journey back to Haven. Solas pulled Eirlana with him away from the camp.

"Solas what is wrong?"

He let go of her and began to pace while moving his arms in frustration. "He offered them an alliance! After all, we have found. The corruption, the reckless use of red lyrium, the mindlessness of the order. He comes and declares himself Andraste's champion sent to guide them again on their righteous path. The obvious corruption and lyrium abuse are some accident the poor templars have suffered. I didn't expect much from the order. But to see their lust for power and rigid way of thinking first hand is..." he looked at her. "I am sorry lethallan. The whole experience was unsettling."

Eirlana stepped closer. "You needed to talk. I understand."

He sighed. "And now they are given a free pass, to join without consequences. Nothing has been learned here. According to Ryan, the templars are needed to protect. To rage war against evil magic."

"Evil? It may be misused, but evil?"

"Exactly magic is magic. In its pure form, it is raw power waiting to be shaped by the right mind. The intention of the mind shaping it can be evil, but the essence itself is neither good nor evil." His voice sounded relieved. "I knew you would understand lethallan." His expression turned more serious. "It will be harder to move freely with our new 'allies'." He stroked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Will you be alright?" His hand lingered on her face.

Eirlana restrained herself of backing away. His eyes gleamed with concern for her. The same shiver she couldn't place earlier ran through her body. "I will, not that there is much choice in the matter. I... thank you."

They were silent for a while. Solas began to walk back to the others, Eirlana followed him.

"Solas. With the red lyrium here. Is there a connection between what happened here and the explosion at Haven?"

"We haven't found any evidence the templars had anything to do with the events at Haven yet. What we found is that someone unknown to us delivered the red lyrium here. The source of the lyrium may be connected to the explosion."

"Hopefully we will find out after we close the Breach."

"That is also my hope." he lied. When the Breach was closed, he would leave to collect what was rightfully his.

* * *

There is no great surprise that Ryan chose to side with the templars.

:'( I really regret to play through DAI without Cole, but in no way, my Inquisitor would accept a knife-wielding spirit. Or as he would call it a demon. I love Cole and I think he would enjoy spending time with Solas and Eirlana.


	8. Chapter 8

Hey everyone

Thank you for your comments. I really love to read them.

Having a week off from work has given me enough time to finish this chapter. Hope you will enjoy it. Working hard on chapter 12 ;)

.

* * *

 **Chapter 8**

.

The sun shone lazily into the valley of Haven that morning. The snowfields glittered as if they were made out of precious gems. Basking in the sunlight, the Chantry was packed with people for the morning sermon. With the templars joining their ranks, the Heralds claims he was sent by Andraste and the Inquisitions successes, faith had strengthened in its followers. The other healers had asked Eirlana to join them, but she had declined politely. She felt nothing for the Chantry and could already imagine what would be said. That Andraste had guided them here to stand together at this dark hour. That Andraste would protect them and blessed them when they would attempt to close the Breach today. That they were on a righteous path.

Righteous? Eirlana pondered on the word. How many injustices had been committed in its name in the past? She had seen countless cruelties committed under the flag of the Chantry while exploring the Fade. Yet none of these made its way into the history books she had read with Solas. And if the treatment of the templars joining the Inquisition was an indication, history would repeat itself once again. Solas was right, they had to be careful for they both were apostates and elves, or Elvhen as Solas would call himself. Unknowingly a smile spread across her lips as she thought of him.

.

The sermon had finished, and Ryan approached her accompanied by Mother Giselle of the Chantry.

Mother Giselle smiled at her kindly. "Good day. How are the injured?"

That smile often unsettled Eirlana as if the woman pitied her. "They are recovering."

"Thank you for all your hard work. The Maker has blessed you with a kind heart."

Eirlana frowned. "Your Maker has no say in it. I decide my own actions."

There was that smile again. "Of course, but the Maker watches over all his children." Mother Giselle bowed her goodbyes and proceeded to give the wounded her blessings.

"You don't believe in the Maker, do you?"

Eirlana studied Ryan for a while before she answered. Even as she accompanied him on a regular basis now, they hadn't spoken much. "That is correct. I don't believe in your Maker."

"Why?" Ryan looked dumbfounded at her.

"Why? I have never felt the need to seek out a greater power, and I don't agree with what the Chantry preaches. Your Maker believes I should be pitied because I am an elf and that I am cursed with the gift of magic." Eirlana flushed a little, to speak her opinion openly was still odd to her.

Ryan looked disappointed and shook his head. "The Maker offers so much more. What do you believe in otherwise, those elven gods?"

"No, I have never felt anything that would justify the existence of any god. I believe that in histories past there were people with great power. It's the people who flock to them who are starting to believe. Faith changes things, it can turn farmers into great warriors, topple governments. It is something you should be aware of. History teaches us that every movement, how righteous their goals may be, has a downside if it grows too powerful. I am here to help with the Breach, I am not here to adopt your views."

Solas couldn't help but smile at her answer. He had seen them talk after he returned from his morning walk. He had approached them carefully, listening in on their conversation.

Ryan looked disgruntled. "You spent too much time with Solas."

"Oh, is that so?"

Turning around Ryan saw Solas walk past him towards Eirlana giving her a bundle of elfroot.

"Good morning Lethallan. I was able to gather these during my walk." Solas turned back towards Ryan. "Herald."

"What about you Solas? Do you believe in anything? It is evident you don't respect the Maker."

"I believe in cause and effect. Wisdom as its own reward. The inherent right of all free willed people to exist."

"So you also don't believe in the existence of gods."

"You are mistaken. I believe the elven gods existed, as did the old gods of Tevinter."

Eirlana looked surprised at Solas, she didn't expect him to believe in such entities as gods.

"But I do not think any of them were gods." Solas continued. "Unless you expand the definition of the word to the point of absurdity. I appreciate the idea of your Maker, a god that does not need to prove his power. I wish more gods felt the same."

"Following the Maker offers guidance, shelter, hope, a richer way of life, even for you."

"The greatest triumphs and tragedies this world has known can all be traced back to people. I have yet to see the actions of a god."

Ryan shook his head, it was clear to him that he was getting nowhere. "I pray for you both you will find the Maker. That he may watch over you and guide you to his path."

"And I hope the prayer of the morning sermon has given you and the templars enough strength to close the Breach in the hours to come. We will need it."

"The Maker and Andraste will guide us to victory." with that Ryan left them.

.

The Breach was directly above them, pulsating and swirling with power. Traces of its energy reached down towards a huge closed rift. It was located in the centre of the giant crater, where once the Temple of Sacred Ashes stood. You could feel its magic crackling in the air. The templars were nervous being in a place that was soaked with magical energies. Eirlana stared up at the Breach. This was the first time she saw it so close. She felt a pull of energy as if she was falling up into the sky towards the opening. It felt strange and yet somehow familiar, like when she was in the Fade in her dreams. Her pulse quickened, and a comfortable tingly feeling spread through her.

A hand reached out to her pulling her back. A little shaken Eirlana could pull her eyes free. Solas hand lay on her shoulder. He seemed pleased, his eyes twinkling, smiling at her as if he knew what she had just experienced.

"Concentrate on Ryan during the attempt. You will be the first one to notice if his body can't handle it. Pour everything you have into the mark, strengthen it, strengthen Ryan. If we are unsuccessful, there might not be a third chance."

Eirlana nodded and took her place a little to the side of the many templars that had gathered. Solas instructed Ryan and the templars what to do. The mark being so close to the rift was pulsating in Ryan's hand. Eirlana gathered her magic and extended her senses, concentrating on him and the mark. She could feel its pull on the Veil, its energy resonating in harmony with it. 'Where had it come from?' she wondered. It fitted almost too perfect in the fabrics that formed the Veil.

They began, the templars suppressive power cleaved a path for Ryan. With effort, he approached the rift and activated the mark. Its power began to stabilise the rift. Solas and Eirlana both poured their magical energies into Ryan and the mark.

For a moment nothing happened. Suddenly the rift reacted, a chain-reaction rippled through the Veil up into the Breach. With a big explosion, they both collapsed. A shock wave hurled everyone backwards to the ground.

Groans were heard all around as people stood up. It had worked, they had succeeded. The Breach was closed. You could still see the edges outlined by thick dust clouds and the sky looked scared, but it was closed. Cheers broke out all around.

Solas leant heavily on his staff, he felt drained. He had given everything he had to the Anchor. Whatever control he still had over it, he had used. Now he had to enter the Fade to make sure the Breach would remain closed for the time being.

.  
A storm was forecast to hit Haven that night. They stored extra supplies and tents in the Chantry. Just in case that the village needed to seek shelter. The expected severe weather didn't temper the exhilaration of the residents. Everyone was too happy they succeeded in closing the Breach. People everywhere were laughing, singing, drinking and dancing.

Eirlana found it strange, not that she was not relieved. With the Breach closed both the spirits and the people would be safer. It was just the whole situation was unfamiliar to her. Exhausted from using her powers and the commotion around her, she scanned the crowds. She spotted Solas at their cottage with Varric and Iron Bull. He smiled politely as they left him. He seemed troubled by something as he went inside their hut. She wondered why he always looked so lonely, even today among all the happy faces. That smile was a mask, one of the many he carried. He showed the world only that what he chose to. He was polite and friendly to most people but kept them at a safe distance. As if he was tolerating their company rather than welcoming it. Somehow he made an exception for her, as she did for him. Never had she been so comfortable around another person in her life. Even with her limited experience with other people, she knew he was different. She had seen glimpses of his true self, aside from being thoughtful and caring he was fierce, impulsive and curious. Maybe with the Breach closed, he could relax more. Their friends in the Fade would be safer for now.

.

Inside the cottage, Solas was deep in thought. With the Breach closed the immediate threat was over. He needed to refocus now on his original goal, retrieving his orb and trying to unlock its power. He had expected to find it after the explosion of the temple together with the corpse of the would be god Corypheus. As of yet neither he nor his agents had found any trace of the creature or his orb. That the Venatori were on the move meant Corypheus could be still alive and directing them. If he was alive, he could be found. The question was what would be the wisest course to take. Retrieving his orb was of utmost importance.

By now his agents had successfully infiltrated the Inquisition. He had access to their information, the actions they would take. The Anchor was stable for the moment, he could always come back and attempt to retrieve it once he had his orb. For now, he needed to leave even if it was only for a short while to rearrange his plans. The objective hadn't changed just the path towards it. With everyone distracted, tonight would be the ideal moment to slip away. Quickly he packed his belongings before someone would notice his intentions. As he rummaged through the small cottage, he stopped in his tracks. He slowly picked up the comb he had bought for Eirlana only a couple of months ago. His fingers traced the carved flowers. What should he do with her?

.

Stepping outside he quickly spotted her. Varric was talking to her and gave her something. She looked in his direction and walked towards him. What about her? It would be better to leave her here. It would be kinder. She had a life here now, made friends. She would be protected, safe. The path he needed to walk she couldn't follow. Aside from the fact that it would be dangerous, it would destroy the world she knew. It would ruin the life she had just begun. How would she react if she would learn of his plans? What would she think? It made him nervous. What would she do if she learned who he really was? Would she be afraid, despise him for what he had done, for what he planned? Or worse, would she worship him as the others did in his past? A chill ran through his body at that thought. He closed his eyes and shook his head. It shouldn't matter, his path was set.

"Solas?"

Opening his eyes, he stared at her intensely. For a moment she looked worried.

"Are you not well? Did you get hurt when the Breach closed?"

"On the contrary, I am relieved it is closed."

Eirlana looked down avoiding his staring eyes. He was making her nervous. Fumbling for words her eyes fell on the cup she held. "Here. According to Varric, you needed a drink." She raised the cup slightly for him to take. Solas reached out for it, his fingers brushed lightly against hers.

Eirlana startled by this sudden touch and looked back at his eyes. Her breath hitched as he continued. Slowly his fingers moved gently between hers, tracing them, brushing her hand. "It shouldn't matter." he whispered. Not breaking eye contact he stepped closer.

Eirlana stood frozen, what was happening. He was so close she could feel his body warmth. It was both welcoming and terrifying. His hand travelled further up her arm towards the back of her neck. He closed his eyes and bowed his head forward. His fingers tangling in her silky hair, he pushed her head gently against his. Their foreheads touched. Not realising she was holding it, Eirlana took a deep breath. His warmth and scent entered her body, the smell of vanilla, old books and tombs, candles and traces of magic. It had become familiar to her. She raised her free hand hesitantly, tracing his shoulders. Mimicking him her fingers spread out over the smooth surface at the back of his head. Now it was Solas' turn to inhale deeply, the scent of healing herbs, wild flowers, paper and traces of magic prickled his senses. Basking in each other's presence, the world slowly disappeared around them, the music and celebrations forgotten.

.

Cullen walked towards the cottage. He felt rather well that evening. Today he had no headaches and with the Breach closed he was in a good mood. He hadn't spoken to Eirlana yet, and he wondered if he could persuade her to take a stroll with him. With her distrust, he had to move slowly and tactful. 'I could help her.' Cullen thought. 'Overcome some of her fears. And she could help me overcome some of my own.' His feet stopped as he saw Eirlana and Solas embracing each other.

'There goes your chance, you idiot.' His lip curled up as he took another look. 'I have never seen them so relaxed, so at peace.' Shaking his head, he turned around. 'I need a drink.' He made his way back to the gates as a scout came running towards him.

.

Out of nowhere came the call of Cullen. "TO ARMS! TO ARMS! FORCES APPROACHING!" The Chantry's bells sounded in alarm. Solas and Eirlana abruptly let go of each other. From over the mountains, hundreds and hundreds of torches were marching on the village.

"This doesn't bode well." Solas commented before diving into their cottage. He quickly grabbed his pack and their staves. "Here lethallan." He handed her her staff, before running to the gates.

They arrived as forces gathered to protect the village. Ryan talked to an exhausted Dorian. What was he doing here? The first enemies were already in sight when Solas felt his orb nearby. Bewildered he looked around until he spotted Corypheus up the mountain, directing his troops to march upon Haven. What was he doing here? How could he have survived? How could he have brought a whole army here without anyone noticing?

"SOLAS!"

Solas broke his stare as Ryan yelled at him. "Now is NOT the time to panic! Go with the others, get the people to the Chantry. Protect them!" With that Ryan charged accompanied by Cassandra, Iron Bull, Blackwall and many soldiers to engage the enemy. Trebuchets fired rocks and flasks of burning oil into the advancing troops.

People were screaming and fleeing in every direction as Eirlana flung an icebolt into a Venatori. Dorian joined them as they made their way to the Chantry. "Hello. We meet again. Although I wished it were under better circumstances." he greeted them. He was clearly exhausted but kept up with them.

They directed people towards the Chantry as they went. At the Chantry, several templars had set up a defensive wall, Varric and Sera standing behind them firing at every Venatori that tried to get close. They joined them as more and more forces got into the village, attacking and slaughtering everyone in their way. It didn't take long before the first buildings were on fire. They had come to destroy them.

The first Venatori mage appeared, and a couple of templars activated their draining abilities. Eirlana who stood too close was hit and suddenly felt her connection to the Fade brutally severed, draining her completely. She screamed and sank to her knees, dizzy by the effects.

"YOU MORONS!" Solas yelled. "WE ARE ON YOUR SIDE!"

"SHIT! EVERYONE DIRECT YOUR EFFORTS TO THE FRONT!" a templar bellowed.

Dorian helped Eirlana to her feet. "Here." he pushed a lyrium potion in her hands before unleashing another lightning strike at the nearest enemy. Eirlana hesitated, she had not touched lyrium ever since Solas had freed her. Gritting her teeth, she nipped at the flask only taking a small amount. The taste brought back unpleasant memories, but she felt the effect immediately with her powers returning.

A loud rumbling could be heard in the distance. Looking up they saw an avalanche claiming half of the army advancing on Haven. Cheers could be heard throughout the defending troops. Solas kept his guard up, it was too early to cheer victory.  
An ear-deafening roar silenced everyone as a great shadow flew over Haven. In this instance Solas hated to be right. A giant black dragon swooped down over the village setting buildings ablaze with its corrupting breath. It aimed for the trebuchets, obliterating them completely. The templars surrounding the Chantry eyed the sky nervously. Panic spread through the defending troops, and it didn't take long before the first troops came fleeing towards the Chantry the only building made of stone. Many were wounded or carrying wounded comrades.

.

Ryan came running back together with the last survivors they had managed to save.

"Quickly inside." he panted. The Chantry was packed with civilians and troops. Many were wounded, terrified, weeping or praying for someone to save them.

"Herald there are no tactics to make this survivable." Cullen informed Ryan. "There have been no demands, no communication, nothing. That dragon, we stand no chance against it."

Frustrated Ryan kicked against a pillar. "What do they want?"

"It came for you." all eyes went to Dorian. "This Elder One takes what it wants. It marched all of this way to take your Herald."

"If it can save these people, he can have me. But something tells me that won't make a difference."

Solas listened carefully. If Corypheus had marched all this way, he would have come for one thing only. The Anchor. Had Corypheus discovered its purpose? He had never thought the creature would be so bold. He was in luck, the creature had brought his orb. Which meant he could retrieve it.

"You are correct, they don't seem to care about the specifics." Dorian remarked. "And such a promising start, if only more landslides would be an option."

Cullen thought of an idea. "They are, one trebuchet is still intact. We can direct it to the mountain above us."

Ryan looked shocked "We would bury Haven and everyone in it."

"No, Chancellor Roderick just informed me of a path out of the Chantry up the mountains. Chances are high that they don't have knowledge about the path. We just need time to get everyone out of here, before we fire it and bury the enemy."

"Go! I will distract them."

"But Herald?"

"Go that's an order! Who is with me?"

Cassandra and Iron Bull stepped forward to join him. Solas also stepped forward, he couldn't let the Herald die here and risk to lose the Anchor permanently. When Eirlana stepped forward, Solas grabbed her hand. "Don't!"

She looked determined at him. "Solas. If one of you is injured out there, chances are you won't escape the avalanche. I can help. I won't let you go alone." Nipping again at the lyrium potion she grabbed her staff and stepped next to Iron Bull.  
Solas didn't know what to say. This was a first she had decided something against his wishes. A part of him found it exciting.

"There are horses stalled close to the trebuchet. If they are still alive, use them to get away. Ride to the east." Cullen pulled a small map from his coat. "According to Roderick the path leads to this valley, you can use this fissure to reach us. Maker be with you!"

.

Moments later they were outside, engaging the Venatori.

"Let's make some NOISE!" Iron Bull roared before swinging his massive axe through two men. They toppled like trees. "OH YEAH!" he cheered going for the next one. Ryan and Cassandra formed a shield wall just behind him with several soldiers. Dealing with anyone who engaged them from the side. Solas and Eirlana formed the rear freezing and shocking enemies, especially Venatori mages as they went on. It was a sad path through the village, many people lay dead on the ground, buildings were burning, tents destroyed. They encountered only a few troops until they reached the trebuchet. Forming a perimeter around it, they fought off advance after advance of Venatori. In between they prepared the trebuchet to fire. Solas and Eirlana stayed close together, fighting hard to keep themselves and the others alive. As more mages engaged them, Eirlana glimpsed a few faces she had seen in Redcliffe. They had turned against them. Finally, the stream of opponents stopped and the trebuchet was ready to fire. All they needed was the signal.

"Get to the horses! We need to ride like the wind when we fire this thing." Ryan commanded them.

The horses were skittish and nervous from all the fighting and the dragon flying around. As they mounted them, Ryan stood ready at the trebuchet peering up the mountain looking for Cullen's signal.

Out of nowhere the dragon suddenly swooped down, its corrupting fire exploding on the ground engulfing them in flames. Terrified the horses bolted.

Solas who was just mounting his horse was hit in his flank by pieces of burning debris. It singed and pierced his flesh. He slipped as his horse bolted in terror, he managed to hung on and tried to pull himself up into the saddle. With a grunt he was smashed against a wooden pole, more pain shot through his body but he somehow managed to hoist himself onto the horse. Then he felt it, his orb. Abruptly he turned back around, grabbing onto the saddle as his body protested. Behind the flames, he saw Ryan standing between the dragon and Corypheus. Corypheus held out his orb, it was active. He could feel its power calling to him, he could feel Corypheus' corrupted power trying to penetrate it. How was this possible? How had that creature managed to partially unlock his most sacred possession and still lived? It shouldn't be possible, it couldn't be that strong. In a desperate action, he tried to turn around his horse, but it ran in blind panic after the others. Pain shot through his body again as he moved. He started panting, even if he managed to turn around. What could he do that wouldn't fail? Everything he planned had failed, he had made a huge miscalculation.

.

The horses ran as fast as they could through the broken down gates. A few Venatori were almost trampled down, but they managed to jump away in surprise only to be hit by Iron Bull or Cassandra swinging their weapons. They carved a path for the others to follow. Luck was with them as the horses ran over the familiar road towards the east through the gates. They rode fast into the night away from Haven, as they heard the rumblings of the avalanche burying Haven behind them. Cassandra said out a prayer asking for the safety of the Herald and forgiveness for the souls lost. Tired the horses finally calmed down a bit and slowed down. Just as they regained control over their mounts, several fire mines exploded amidst them. Venatori mages attacked them. Panicked the horses bolted again in every direction this time. In a few seconds, they had lost sight of each other.

.

The horse crashed through the forest. Eirlana desperately held onto the reins and saddle. Trees and branches swept by her, almost dismounting her several times. Her attempts to calm the horse down had failed so far, but it gradually slowed down, exhausted and stressed out. They broke out of the forest and almost crashed into a sleeping druffalo. The already scared horse reared, throwing off Eirlana. She landed hard into the snow and startled both animals ran away. A little bruised Eirlana got herself up and brushed the snow off. How would she find the others without a horse? She needed to find them fast if they wanted to reach the other valley before the storm. Listening into the night, she hoped to hear the others. What she heard, she didn't expect. In the distance, she could hear a child crying. There were other people in the forest, people from Haven must have fled here. Using her staff as a cane, she hurried towards them through the thick snow.

She had reached them almost when she heard screaming and weapons clashing. Eirlana ran as fast as she could towards the tumult. A familiar templar and two soldiers were fighting off seven Venatori, behind them cowered a group of villagers. Blue flames shot from her fingertips, and before they hit their target, she already was erecting a protective bubble around the villagers. The group gasped at her sudden aid. A pair of Venatori turned around to engage her. Electrical energy gathered around Eirlana and flew to them. The lightning bolt forked, and it hit more and more of the Venatori. Two fell dead to the ground, and the others were quickly beaten by the soldiers.

.  
"Miss Eirlana, what are you doing out here?" the templar approached her, his weapon still in hand.

Eirlana kept her staff in hand. Even when he had apologised to her, she didn't trust him. "My horse bolted. It threw me off not far from here." He had finally sheeted his weapon, and she relaxed a little.

The other villagers hurried closer and asked a jumble of questions. "Can we go back? What was that noise? Are they gone? Have they been defeated?"

She stared at them. It was a group of almost twenty people human and elves, mainly women, workers, a few children. They were cold, frightened and tired. Eirlana weighed her options. Looking for the others wasn't a good idea with this many people. They couldn't stay here and wait for the others to find them. "What is your name?"

The templar looked a little confused. "Garrick, miss. Garrick Rheder."

"Haven is buried by an avalanche." There were many gasps, and a few of the woman hugging their children began to cry. "Most of the villagers have escaped and are in a valley higher up the mountains. We must first try to reach the Eastroad and then make our way further up." She crouched down at the first dead Venatori and removed his cloak. One thing she had learned as a slave is to make use of every opportunity, even from the dead. "Garrick help me to strip them. We will need every cloak we can get and keep the children warm."

The dead were quickly stripped and the cloaks and clothing divided. Satisfied Eirlana summoned a few lights so the humans could see better in the dark. "Follow me." She led them through the forest. Luckily she knew the woods around here, having come here often to walk or search for herbs. She only hoped she would find Solas, Iron Bull and Cassandra at the end of the Eastroad.

.

Their journey was difficult and slow, they had walked almost for two hours. It surprised Eirlana that they followed her without question. Turning around the civilians were struggling through the snow, no one said a word. They were shocked and in disbelieve, only hours ago they celebrated their success. Now they were tired, cold and exposed to the elements. Their loved ones missing or dead and their homes destroyed, their village buried under the snow. The icy wind was picking up. Eirlana frowned, it wouldn't be long before the storm would hit them. Her heart skipped when she spotted people further up the mountains. Finally, she had found the others. The massive body of Iron Bull was easily spotted from a distance. He was standing together with Cassandra and a couple of survivors next to the eastern road. If she remembered correctly, they had to leave the trail here to reach the fissure leading to Cullen and the others.

They looked a little haggard as they came closer. Cassandra had a deep cut above her eye. Dried blood stuck to the side of her face. Iron Bull had a severe burn on his shoulder. The other soldiers were nursing also various cuts and bruises, but they were alive.

"Thank the Maker! You made it." Cassandra grabbed her by the shoulder, her eyes scanning her to see if she was all right. Satisfied she smiled. "You found other survivors. I am glad we waited for you."

Eirlana was relieved when Cassandra released her hold. Stepping back she looked around.

"Where is Solas?"

Cassandra's face turned serious again. "We hoped he was with you. After the Venatori attacked, we lost sight of you both and the others. Most have made their way here, but we haven't seen any sign of him."

"Solas." Eirlana whispered anxiously, her face turning pale with worry. Fear gripped her as every fibre of her being told her to hurry back, to look for him.

The first snowflakes fell from the sky. "Maker!" Cassandra exclaimed. She looked sympathetic at her. "Eirlana I am sorry, but we need to get these people out of here. We have to find the others."

"But where do we go? All these mountain passes look the same." Iron Bull said as he studied the mountain fissures leading to the south.

Not listening Eirlana concentrated, stretching her consciousness into the Fade, scanning the Veil, searching for him. She almost collapsed from the effort.

Iron Bulls big hands caught her before she fell. "Careful."

"Damn it!" she cursed.

"Are you hurt?"

"No, I am all right, just tired." Eirlana tried to shake of her dizziness, she was exhausted. It was chaos in the valley below. Many Venatori mages were still alive, buried under the snow or retreating from the valley. Spirits had come now the Breach was closed, revelling in the intense emotions of fear and despair. It was hard to sort through so many traces, but she had found Solas, and he was still far away from them.

"I am almost certain it is this way, but it 's hard to tell in the dark and with the snow." Cassandra studied the passes to the south. "We have to get out of here fast, the weather is getting worse by the minute." The snow was coming down thick now, obscuring their vision. One of the children began to cry. Eirlana was torn, she knew she could lead them to safety. While trying to search for Solas, she had already felt the location of Vivienne and the other mages. But leading them would lead her away from Solas. She reached out again in his direction, holding on to Bull this time. He looked confused at her but said nothing. It felt like he was moving, moving in their direction. She was slightly relieved. It was slow, but he was moving. With their numbers, they would leave enough traces for him to follow. He would be alright, he had to be alright. These people couldn't wait here any longer. Exposed and standing still. They had to reach the others, who hopefully had found shelter. With a heavy heart, she moved to the left mountain pass to the south.

"You are right we can not stay here. Come follow me."

Now it was Cassandra's turn to look confused. "Are you certain?"

"In that direction are Vivienne and the others."

"How do you know?"

Damn! Solas had always warned her not to reveal her abilities. Now it was already too late. "I can sense other mages when I concentrate hard. There are wizards around all over the place, over there." She pointed towards Haven "But over there, there are fewer but grouped together. It is in the direction Cullen has led them. We have to take that passage to get to them." It was a partial truth. She didn't tell them that she could pinpoint precisely where Vivienne was, her signature easily recognisable in the Fade.

"I have never heard of such an ability." Cassandra's eyes narrowed, studying her with refreshed interest.

"Honestly I don't understand how it works myself. I guess I am sensitive to magical energies." Eirlana lied.

"I understand. Maybe we can learn more about it later. We have other priorities at the moment."

They hoisted the children on the few horses they had. Eirlana guided them through the snow up the mountain towards the fissure. She looked back one last time into the valley. Please be safe Solas!

.

They walked for hours, struggling through the snow against the growing storm. The fierce winds and heavy snowfall obscured their vision. Making it difficult to stay together and find their footing on the icy slopes. Eirlana had summoned several hovering globes of light in a string behind her, so they wouldn't lose sight of each other. Iron Bull was walking in front of her, protecting her somewhat against the vicious winds. She felt drained, tired and cold. Her mind was with Solas, words couldn't express how worried she was. It had been hours since she had sensed him, now she felt nothing. Either she was too exhausted, he too far away or... NO! She shook her head. He had to be all right, she had to believe he was. Guilt swept through her, she should have gone back for him. She promised, she would go look for him as soon as they found the others. They should almost be there. Extending her senses again she felt the presence of Vivienne nearby. Finally.  
"We are almost there!" she yelled against the wind.

Iron Bull halted and peered through the snowfall. "You are right! I can see lights ahead."

Their pace quickened, and the group made it over the last slope. The valley below was somewhat sheltered from the stormy winds. The troops and survivors from Haven had managed to set up several tents for shelter. Others were felling trees to get enough fires going for the night.

.

"Commander!"

Cullen was securing a tent against the blowing winds and looked up at the scout. "What is it?"

"There is a large group coming through the fissure." He pointed towards the small passage between the mountains.

"Is it the Herald?"

"We don't know yet, but a Qunari is leading them.

Cullen quickly ran towards the group followed by several troops. He immediately recognised Iron Bull among them. His hopes that they all made it out alive shattered when he noticed the absence of Ryan. No! It was a blessing so many had made it at all. "Thank the Maker! You returned."

"Commander what is the situation. Is there any word from the Herald?" Cassandra looked anxious.

Cullen shook his head. "I hoped he was with you. It is good that you found us."

Their small troop quickly walked down into the valley exhausted and relieved that they had made it. Cullen began to give Cassandra a more accurate update when he noticed Eirlana walking back towards the fissure. "Eirlana?" He hurried after her. "Where are you going?"

She turned towards him, her cheeks burning red from the cold. "Solas is still out there. I need to find him."

He looked at her in disbelieve. "How will you find him? It is night, and the storm is getting worse. You get yourself killed."

"Eirlana you are needed here." Cassandra added. "It is impossible to find him on your own. We have to wait for the storm to settle. With so many injured, we need you here."

Cullen saw Eirlana waver. She looked at the survivors, the wounded, the makeshift camp, then back in the direction they had come from. Tears welled up in her eyes. Her silent voice was almost swallowed entirely by the wind. "I can't leave him out there."

Cullen could feel her heart ache. "Go!"

Cassandra and Eirlana both looked surprised at Cullen.

"Commander?" Cassandra started.

"We have other healers already at work. We can manage until she returns." He grabbed Cassandra by the arm to pull her along. "Eirlana give me five minutes."

Eirlana stared after them as Cullen quickly made his way back to the camp.

"Cullen what are you doing?"

"She needs this Cassandra. Wouldn't you go back out there if you were in her shoes?"

"I... you are right, but it is dangerous."

"That's why I told her to wait." Cullen quickly went to the supplies they had managed to salvage. He found what he needed and quickly ran back towards Eirlana.

"Here." He put a thick fur coat around her shoulders. "You will need it out there." Placing a bag in her hands, he instructed her further. "When you are getting tired, don't stop out in the open. Look for shelter, there are mineshafts everywhere in these mountains. We will send scouts out after the storm has died down. Wait for them if you are in trouble."

Eirlana nodded. "Thank you Cullen." she smiled at him.

"Just... just be careful."

With confidence, she looked at him. "I will." Pulling her extra cloak tightly around herself she walked back into the night.

Cullen watched her until she was obscured by the snow. "Maker watch over you." he prayed, before returning to Cassandra.

* * *

It is difficult to find the right speed for the relationship of Solas and Eirlana to develop. I have rewritten the touching scene like four times.

Sigh they are just so complicated ;p

Also, I always wondered how the companions made it out of Haven in one piece, my solution the many invisible horses of master Dennet.


	9. Chapter 9

Hey everyone

Finally, I managed to finish two more chapters. I had hoped to post them yesterday but all the checking and re-writing takes a lot of time.

Thank you for all those who commented on the story so far :) I love to read them.

I tried to delve somewhat deeper into my interpretation of Solas in this chapter. How it is to see the changed world around him where everything is wrong in his eyes.

Hope you enjoy it.

* * *

 **Chapter 9**

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Too late Solas detected the fire runes on the ground. In vain, he pulled hard on the reins, but the runes exploded directly under him. Terrified and wounded his horse fled into the woods to the far right. It was crippled, being hit by fire for the second time. Solas held on with all his strength, his side was burning terribly and a pulsing pain shot into his body. Deep into the woods the horse gave out, severely wounded it suddenly sank through its legs. With force, Solas was thrown out of the saddle. Hitting the snow-covered ground hard he yelled out in pain. For a moment he lay still, dazed by the harsh landing. The horse behind him whined loudly in fear and suffering as it struggled to get on its feet again.

Solas tried to get up but collapsed immediately, groaning loudly. He clutched his side, it felt warm and wet. This wasn't good. Grinding his teeth, he rolled onto his back. Leaning on his pack, he managed to sit up. Despite the cold, sweat pearled on his forehead from the effort. Carefully he peeled back his coat to have a look at the wound. He muttered old elven curses from what he saw.

His coat had burned through, charcoaled tatters of leather and fabric hung onto his skin. Countless black shards and chunks of debris had pierced his flesh above his hip. It was a bloody mess of open wounds and burned flesh. Blood had already soaked down to his leggings. With difficulty, he turned a little so he could reach into his pack. His ribs on the other side stung, and he had trouble breathing. "Great broken ribs." he muttered while feeling blindly in his pack until he could feel cloth. Pulling it out it was one of his shirts. Not bothering to search further he folded it. His hands were shaking as he grabbed one of the bigger shards sticking out of the wound and pulled. He hissed out in pain while blood oozed out from under it. Without thinking he summoned a little of his healing power to stop the flow of blood. He was shocked when his magic fizzled into nothingness. Uttering more dark curses at his broken connection with the Fade he lay exhausted back down against his pack. Taking a deep, painful breath he tried the spell again but failed, his head was pounding from the effort. With the exertions of the day he was mentally too exhausted, his body too wounded to tap into his powers. He lay still for a while resting and weighing his options.  
.

The last rumblings of the avalanche brought him back to reality. He couldn't stay here any longer, he needed help. Grabbing some elfroot from a pouch, he pressed it against the wound, before binding his spare shirt tightly around his waist. He hoped it would hold. With the pain numbed by the herbs, he managed to stand up with difficulty. The world started spinning when he got up. Using his staff for support, he managed to stay on his feet. A soft whining claimed his attention. His horse lay on its flank a couple of feet further. It had terrible burns on its legs and body, it was dying. Slowly Solas got closer. With big eyes the horse stared at him, the steam of ragged breaths escaped its nostrils. Solas knelt by its head. "I am sorry." he whispered before cutting through its artery with his knife. Giving it a quick death. Warm blood gushed over Solas' feet as he painfully got up again. He needed to find the others, he needed to find Eirlana. Using his staff as a cane, he slowly started to walk leaving bloody footprints behind in the snow.

.

Hours later Solas staggered through the snow, clutching his side. The snowstorm had arrived with all its fury. If it weren't for the dark shapes of trees and the markers of the Eastroad he passed, he wouldn't know if he moved at all. His mind was numb, his body tired and hurting, but he kept walking in a slow monotone pace. He scanned the ground and surroundings continuously for any sign of Eirlana or the others. If they had followed their original plan, they had to leave the road at some point to go further up the mountains. He paused when his feet stumbled in the deep snow, he was growing weaker by the hour. He didn't dare to stop and rest fearing he wouldn't find the strength to get up again.

Finally, he spotted what he was looking for, an indentation in the snow. Some time ago a group of people stood here. Vaguely he could make out a fading trail leaving the road leading in the direction of the mountains.

Solas hesitated, the tracks were faded by the wind and snow, but it looked like they were made by far more people than their small group. With the storm and heavy snowfall, he couldn't see the mountains or any other markers to orientate himself. Not having many other options he followed the trail leading up the slope. Wondering if he was following the right tracks he ploughed through the freshly fallen snow. Suddenly he spotted a tiny faint light hovering next to the trail. Hanging a few feet in the air was a small light orb almost depleted of its magical energy. "Lethallan." he whispered in a hoarse voice. Now he knew he was on the right path.

.

Solas staggered up the slope. It became more and more difficult to move his feet, his strength was slowly failing. The fierce wind blew right into his face, tugging hard at his clothes. The snow blinded him and was disorienting. He struggled forward, all that he could feel was the cold and pain. His limbs felt sluggish and numb. How many hours had he already walked? Or had it been mere minutes? He couldn't remember, just that he was tired, so very tired. Feeling dizzy he stumbled and fell into the snow.

"I need to get up. I can't stay here." Solas said to no one but the wind.  
With intense pain, he managed to sit up against a tree. He leant his head back against it.

How had it come to this? In the past, he would have healed himself without any trouble. Now he couldn't even manage to warm himself. Time seemed to stop as he watched the storm rage around him.

How had this happened? The base at Haven destroyed. That creature disappeared again with his orb. He had no illusions that it had escaped the avalanche and survived. The Anchor was missing, either it lay buried under the snow with the Herald, or the creature had stolen it. It was a great mistake to let his orb fall into its hands. Somehow the creature was able to manipulate the orb, all was it only slightly. It had unlocked a fraction of its power. He still could feel its sickly corrupting power probing, pushing, mixing with his pure energy.

Why had the creature succeeded where he failed? Why had nothing gone as planned? Everything he had tried to accomplish resulted in a disaster and the consequences of his failures were carried by the world. A world created through his own actions, filled with lies, cruelty and injustice. Greed, power and suppression ruled once more over the weak. Nobody cared enough to fight for what was right. Nobody cared for the truth, for the history. It lay forgotten, rotting away. Forgotten were his sacrifices. All that he had done for the sake of the People was cursed and twisted beyond recognition.

Solas struggled to keep his eyes open, he felt tired, so very tired. Just for a little while, he needed to rest. Just for a little while. Slowly he slumped over, his eyes closed, the snow piling up around him.

.

A familiar place started to appear. Solas recognised the Fade version of the realm he had created so long ago. He had spent millennia asleep here. In dreams, he had watched into the chaos of a changing world that he had left behind. Saw the world of the People crumbling into nothingness.

Trees rustled and elegant light curtains billowed in the non-existing wind. The Fade could mimic many things but not everything. He felt the sun of an everlasting summer shine on his skin without warmth. Big curving stonework arches gave view to the lush green terraces and gardens with their still ponds, meandering pathways and hidden alcoves. Great statues of wolves stood proud watch, surrounded by seas of flowers and blooming plants. Turning around his eyes drifted through the room. It was furnished comfortably with the finest woodwork his People had to offer. Against the wall were several bookcases filled with his prized collections. Walking further his fingers traced the beautiful carvings of his bed. There in the waking world, he had awoken to a strange, unfamiliar world, a world that didn't belong to the People any longer. A world not remembering him. Where nobody seemed to care about the truth. Only lies and falsehoods had survived the fabrics of time.

His mind felt heavy and dull, it became harder to concentrate. He was tired and empty. Sleep was calling to him, he lay down and closed his eyes. A small warning entered his mind. Sleeping here was a bad idea, but he had no longer the strength to fight it. Peaceful he drifted away forgetting all the things weighing on his mind.

.

The storm raged on. Eirlana was struggling through the horrific weather. She felt drained, her feet and legs numb, her skin raw and lips cracked from the cold. She had walked hours down the mountain again. Once she had stopped briefly to bind patches of fur cut from her cloak around her frozen feet. To protect them from the biting cold. Dawn had long come and gone, but the sun stayed hidden behind the dark storm clouds. Eirlana slowed down, her foggy breath blown away by the wind. She hadn't found any sign of Solas. Worried sick she extended her senses again, hoping to find something, anything. There it was. Finally, she found him, it was very faint, but she could sense him. She hurried further down the slope towards him, almost falling into the deep snow.

Her heart sank as she saw him. Lifeless he lay slumped over against a tree. Half-buried under the snow.  
"SOLAS!" Eirlana ran towards him. The thick snow slowing down every step she took. She fell to her knees beside him. "Solas!"  
Her hands brushed the snow off his face and head. She grabbed him by his shoulders and shook him. "Solas! Wake up."

Solas head slumped to the side as she shook him. He looked sickly pale. She touched his face again. He felt cold, he never gets cold. Panicked she pulled him out of the snow to check him. She noticed his burned and shredded coat. Carefully she removed his pack and lay him down. With shaking hands, she opened his coat. His crude bandage had soaked through, his clothes burned and dark with old blood. Her vision became blurry as tears filled her eyes. Frustrated she brushed them away, this was not the time to cry. She concentrated, and her magic flooded him. His side was severely burned and punctured by a lot of shards, there were bruises, broken ribs, it didn't look good. He had suffered severe blood loss from the wound, but luckily the bleeding had stopped on its own. His heart was beating slowly and his breaths shallow, but both were steady. Desperate Eirlana looked around, she didn't see anything that would offer any shelter. She needed to get him somewhere out of the wind, out of the freezing storm to clean his wounds and heal him.

"Don't worry. I will get you out of here." Eirlana said more to herself than to Solas. She was worried to reopen his wounds, but staying here was not an option. What scared her the most was that he felt so faint, his intense energy and presence were always around him even when he slept. Now it felt thin, almost non-existent.

.

Determined Eirlana shouldered his pack and bound his staff to her back. She grabbed him under his arms and attempted to drag him. It was impossible, the snow hindered every move she made. Her body was too drained and tired at this point to carry him. She fell backwards into the snow as her hands slipped from him.

"Think!" Eirlana yelled in frustration.  
A strong gust of wind tugged at her cloak. Her cloak... she could use it.

Hanging onto a thick branch of a tree she managed to break it off. With care, she rolled Solas into her cloak. Using his foot wrappings, she bound the branch and their staves under him. At the end of them, she tied her sash. Carefully she put the sash around her shoulders and lifted the staves with her hands. Her first steps were hesitant until she was sure the construction would hold. Dragging the makeshift stretcher, she made her way to edges of the fissure. Hoping she would find something where she could seek shelter.

Dragging the stretcher through the snow was hard. The wind felt like piercing blades without the cloak. A few times she fell when the snow gave way, and she sank to her knees into it. Eirlana got up every time, biting through the bitter cold. She had to get him out of here.

Desperation took hold of her when after a while she didn't find anything. When she sank into the snow again, she yelled out in defeat. Tired she turned towards Solas, tears running down her face. He was still unconscious, his face looked pale. She had to try again, she couldn't let him die here. Picking herself up again, she spotted something buried in the snow. Leaving Solas, she went to pick it up. It was a wooden plank. She looked around and saw more of them lying around and stairs. Stairs were built against the mountain leading to an opening. Eirlana hurried back to Solas and hoisted him to the opening. Finally, she had found shelter.

.

Eirlana collapsed at the entrance. The opening looked like an abandoned mineshaft. Ice blocked the way further in. It didn't matter, she was out of the storm at last. She quickly untied Solas. It was difficult with the wrappings being wet and her fingers frozen. Summoning a light, she carefully unwrapped his makeshift bandage. She hissed as she saw the horrible wound. Dried blood, flakes of burned fabric and black shards punctured his skin. She needed to get those out and clean the wound.

"Luckily you brought your pack." she told him.

Opening it, she looked for his bandage supplies and his blanket. To her surprise, she found her comb. Why was it in his pack? For a few seconds, she stared at Solas, her comb in her hand, before pulling out the things she needed.

With a little water that wasn't frozen she soaked the burned edges of his shirt, so she could carefully peel it off him. His ribcage was spotted with several dark bruises. He must have been struck by something and cracked his ribs. She brushed his forehead and cheeks gently with the palm of her hand.

"Maybe it is a good thing you are unconscious. This will hurt."

She had to be careful, he would start bleeding again if she removed the debris. She had to do some creative healing to prevent him from bleeding out. With a deep sigh, Eirlana drank the last of the mana potion before she set to work. The cave lit up around her after she summoned more lights. Judging from the wound, he was hit by the dragon's fire that had exploded all around them. That he had managed to come this far with such an injury was a miracle. Not having pincers she began to remove the debris and sharp shards with her fingers as best as she could. It was a complicated process. Her fingers were frozen and being cut by the sharp edges of the shards. The severity of the wound became clearer as she discovered how deep the debris went. To her relief, the injury didn't start bleeding as much as she had anticipated, but the lack of blood also made her nervous.

"You are lucky to be alive." she sighed. Rechecking Solas' pulse to make sure he wasn't slipping further away. "Don't worry. You will be all right."

Somehow talking to him calmed her down. She didn't realise how used she had become to be around people. In the past, she was always relieved when she was alone. Being alone meant no one could hurt her. Now she missed the constant chatter of the people around her.

.

"Too bad, I can't make fire." Eirlana joked as she started to shiver more from the cold. "You have to try to teach me again when you wake up." It was strange. Solas had been in the storm for hours, but she couldn't find any signs of frostbite. It was remarkable even for an elf, who were better at withstanding barren temperatures. They don't freeze as fast as humans do. But after all these hours laying in the snow, he should have some damage. Her own feet, hands and ears were frozen, yet his looked normal. He even felt relatively warm to the touch. Cold for him, but much warmer than she expected.

Finally, Eirlana had removed as much debris as she could from the wound. There were still pieces lodged in his body, but she needed pincers and hooks to remove them. That meant she somehow had to get him to the camp. Her magic spread through his body as she healed his ribs, burns and parts of the wound that were clean. After dressing the wound anew, she dropped exhausted against the walls of the tunnel. Outside the storm still raged on, until it was over they couldn't go back. Aside from the storm, he had to be conscious to make it back.

.

Solas lay silent, covered with his blanket. Why was he still unconscious? Eirlana got up again to check on him. His vitals hadn't changed, his heartbeat and breathing still shallow but steady. They hadn't changed at all. It worried her with all she had done they should have gotten stronger. He had no fever, what was very unusual. Nor had he moved or flinched since she had found him. His energy still felt very faint. This wasn't a normal state of unconsciousness.

"Solas, where have you gone to?" she palmed his cheek. Her safest guess was that his mind had retreated to the Fade, but this felt different. Generally, you entered the Fade by a ritual, meditating or sleeping. Getting back was a simple matter of waking up. There was the possibility he was trapped by a spirit, but she found that very unlikely.

Whatever it was she needed for him to return. It was too dangerous for her to enter the Fade and look for him. Exhausted as she was, there was no telling if she could wake up again in these temperatures. Especially with the flow of time being undetermined in the Fade. She had no idea how long it would take to find Solas.

What could she do? It was impossible for her to drag him back to the others even when she waited for the storm to die down. Of course, she could wait for the scouts Cullen had promised to send out, but if Solas really was trapped in the Fade, she couldn't risk waiting that long.

An idea came to her mind. She had never tried it before, but it was worth a shot. With care, she sat Solas up against the wall. Sitting next to him she spread the cloaks and blanket around them both. Sharing the little warmth they had. His head rested on her shoulder as she leant his body against hers. Holding him close she softly lay her hand on his forehead. If she couldn't go into the Fade herself maybe her magic could reach him instead. To give him a push to break free. Closing her eyes, she let her energy flow into him, concentrating on the faint connection he had with the Fade. Hoping it would reach far enough for him to notice her.

.

Solas lay peaceful in his sanctuary. He felt at ease, the problems of the waking world forgotten. Why did he ever leave here? It was hard to remember. Here was where he belonged. The world didn't need him. They had long forgotten his sacrifices, his failure to protect. No one cared anymore. The long sleep called to him, to dream, to forget. To leave all the troubles behind.  
"So..."

In the Fade, Solas stirred.  
"Sola..."

A faint sound drifted through the non-existing wind beside the soft rustling of the leaves.  
"Solas."

Someone was calling him. Reluctantly he opened his eyes.  
"Solas."

A whisper, it sounded faint, far away. Ignoring it Solas closed his eyes again.  
"Solas."

His eyes shot open. Who dared to call him? Who dared to disturb him in his sanctuary? The voice was somehow familiar. Slowly he sat up. The hazy fog clearing from his mind.  
"Solas."

"I know that voice." The Fade was losing its shape around him.

With great effort, Solas opened his eyes. Cold and pain flooded his senses, immediately he closed his eyes again. He felt terribly weak, his body protesting with every breath he took.  
"Solas."

Eirlana was calling him. Her voice like a whisper, calling him softly. It sounded close, so very close. Slowly he regained his consciousness. What had happened? He became aware he was lying in her arms, bundled up in a blanket. "Eirlana." His voice came out strained, raspy and almost inaudible.  
Eirlana froze for a moment. In disbelieve, she stared at his face. Tears welled up in her eyes.  
"You are awake!"

Relief spread through her. A tear fell on Solas face before she hugged him tightly. He could feel her body tremble. Solas was stunned, his memories of what had happened were hazy.  
"Don't worry. It will be all right. I will get you out of here." She let go of him. "How are you feeling?"

Confused Solas looked around. They were in a cave of some sort. Outside the storm was still raging. Slowly his memories returned. How did he get here? Why was she alone? How did she find him? In his confusion he tried to get up, pain shot through him. With a groan, he collapsed back against her body.

"Lay still. You are terribly injured. I healed what I could, but there are still shards embedded in your wound. I am sorry, I couldn't get them all out."  
She took the water bottle, it had melted a little further now they were out of the wind. "Here drink."  
Solas drank, the water refreshing his sore throat.

Eirlana's hands began to shake. "I am sorry I should have been faster. If I had found you sooner I..." Grief and guilt swept through her, averting his eyes she looked down.  
Solas raised his hand, ignoring his protesting muscles. His hand cupped her face, gently stroking her cheek. Eirlana closed her eyes, leaning into his touch.  
The fog cleared more from Solas mind. She had searched for him and found him.

Suddenly there was a disturbance in the air, they heard a rift open further into the tunnel. A shriek of a despair demon pierced through the air. In a swift motion, Eirlana freed herself from Solas. Taking her staff, she erected a barrier around them. Solas could only watch as she placed herself protectively in front of him. Her eyes focused on the icy wall between them and the demons behind it, ready to defend them.

Solas stared at her in disbelief. Why was she defending him? He who had failed her, failed the People. The negative thoughts that had clouded his mind were pushed aside. His pride and purpose flooded him. This wasn't right. It was his task to defend, to protect. He was the defender of the People. He had fought countless battles to free them, to keep them safe. He couldn't sit by and do nothing. With great discomfort he struggled to his feet, his body stiff and mostly unresponsive. He managed to get hold of his staff, using it for support he stood ready to help her.

There was a flash, and a shock wave crumbled the ice blocking the path. Further along, the tunnel was Ryan, his marked hand raised towards a rip in the Veil he had just created. It swallowed the demons, sucking them back into the Fade. With another flash, it closed again. Ryan looked dumbfounded as he spotted them. Limping towards them. "What are you doing here?"

.

Ryan was wounded after his encounter with Corypheus and the dragon. He told them he escaped the avalanche by falling into an old mineshaft. Eirlana patched him up as good as she could given the circumstances. She set his dislocated shoulder and mended a minor fracture.

In the meanwhile, Solas studied the Anchor that flared angrily. With his magic gone, he couldn't suppress it. "It appears whatever magic lingers in your hand has unified itself more with your body. You should have more control over the mark now."

Solas was both worried and relieved. Ryan appeared to have gained more control over the Anchor. Which was an impressive feat on itself. Ryan could use it to stabilise the Veil more, repairing the rifts that had formed all over the land. On the other hand, it could also be dangerous. What if Ryan would discover what the Anchor really could do? Solas suppressed a grin. Not that it was very likely, though Ryan appeared to be a capable leader, he was still a narrow-minded human warrior. What he knew about magic and the Fade wouldn't fill a cup. No Ryan couldn't discover its true purpose, besides he wouldn't be able to control it. His mind was not the right shape. The Anchor was specially created by Solas himself, no one else but himself could unlock its real potential.

.

Ryan peeked out into the storm. Eirlana slumped against the wall, resting her head on her knees. Exhaustion was getting a hold of her. How long was she already awake? It looked darker outside than before. The day grew to an end for the second time. Solas limped to her side, but before he could comfort her, Ryan began to speak. "Cursed winds, there is no telling where the others are. How are we ever gonna find them in this weather?"

"They are further up the pass. There is a fissure that leads into a sheltered valley. Cullen has arranged temporary shelter for the villagers with the tents they managed to bring. It's a walk of a few hours." Eirlana voice sounded muffled and weary as she spoke against her knees.

Solas eyes widened. How did she know who had made it? How did she know about the valley? She couldn't have known unless she had already been there. Why was she out here now alone?

In shock, he started to speak in elven. _"Asahn ea'se tor amahn sasha?"_

 _"Ar'vegara withal sul se."_ She answered him fluently.

Ryan looked at them annoyed. "Don't start talking gibberish. There is no telling how long this storm will last. We have to go and reach this camp. Are you able to show the way or not?"

Weary Eirlana stood up. "Yes, I can."

Solas grabbed her arm. "Lethallan, you are tired. She needs to rest Herald."

"I am sorry we can't afford to wait. I need to reach the others as quickly as possible." Ryan made his way out of the tunnel.

"Lethallin." Eirlana squeezed Solas hand. "We can't let him go out there alone." Fastening her cloak tightly she led them both into the biting winds up the mountain.

.

Eirlana helped Solas balance himself through the snow. They both used their staffs for support. Ryan walked a little in front of them. Confident the wind would blow out any sound for Ryan to hear Eirlana started to talk. "Solas, that orb? It is Elvhen, is it not? I have seen them in old murals."

It may have been her imagination, but she thought Solas froze for a second as she mentioned the orb. She wasn't sure what to make of the orb, having only seen a glimpse of it. But even from afar it had an enormous energy. Out-shadowing the corrupted influence of that Elder One, as Dorian had called him. She had never felt something so powerful in her life. Somehow it was connected to the mark and the Veil, they had the same energy. She had seen carvings and faint paintings of such orbs in old elven ruins. Mostly seen as objects of great reverence.

Solas considered his answer for a moment. "You are correct the orb is of my People." his voice sounded strained from the struggle against the storm and the pain he was in. "It is called a foci. It is said that they once channelled the power from the elven gods. Some were dedicated to specific members of the pantheon. They echo from a dead empire, from what remains in ruins and faint visions of memory."

Eirlana was silent for a moment. My People? Was it an error? She knew he, unlike most elves, didn't consider himself Dalish or City Elf. It was understandable, his demeanour, opinions and knowledge had no common ground with most people whatever their race. In part, she felt the same. Maybe he identified himself with them having witnessed so much of their history in the Fade.

Solas stumbled, hissing out in pain. Involuntary he leant heavy on Eirlana, who managed to keep them on their feet. Concern wiped away her string of thoughts.

"Wait a moment."

He waited as she took a small container from one of her pockets. Taking a few small pellets from it.

"Here slowly chew on them, it will help with the pain."

Solas didn't expect to taste the sweetness of crystallised honey with the light bitterness of elfroot.

"It's sweet." he said surprised.

She grinned. "I made them for the children and other people who are troublesome at taking bitter medicine."

He chuckled, she was well aware that he had a sweet tooth.

Slowly they started moving again. "So this Elder One,"Eirlana continued. "has claimed possession of this foci."

"So it seems. However, he came to it. It is of Elvhen origin, and with it, he now threatens us and the heart of human faith."

Eirlana was silent for a while. "We have to get it back."

His eyes studied her. He had the strong impression she was not talking about the Inquisition. "I agree."

.

All three continued the ascent through the storm. Eirlana correcting their path occasionally. Their pace grew slower as the hours passed. The deep snows hindering every step they made. The brutal winds draining their body heat and obscuring their vision. Every cold breath they took felt like a thousand needles in their lungs. Even Ryan who was a strong warrior struggled.

Eirlana kept pace with Solas. Helping him every time he faltered, despite her fatigue and shivering from the cold. Solas magic still eluded him as he struggled to keep his own body warm. He was in awe of her strength. Her will alone had drawn him back from the Fade. She was only a wisp the first time he laid eyes on her, a frightened little thing. He had taken pity on her back then. Not in his wildest dreams, he would have thought that one day she would save him. That she would risk her brief mortal existence for him.

.

Night had fallen as the ascent grew steeper. Eirlana's pace slowed down further and further. Solas became more worried as she started to stumble. He tried to lessen her load by walking by himself, but his limbs protested heavily. The ascent too much for his injured body. Even Ryan had grown exhausted and struggled forward. Luckily the storm finally had died down. Now only small snowflakes fell from the sky.

Eirlana stumbled again feeling dizzy, almost taking Solas with her. Solas' mind raced with concern thinking of anything to help her. "Lethallan, you promised me you will get me out of here."

Her laugh sounded forced and weary. "Did I say that? I should mind my words more carefully in the future."

"Considering one's words is often wise. But I recall these vividly."

Panting she responded in a weak voice. "Don't tell Varric."

Now Solas had to laugh. "He would make up an interesting version of it."

"Eirlana, Solas. I see lights up ahead. We are almost there." Ryan called.

Solas looked relieved up. In the distance, an opening was visible between the mountains. A faint glow of fires shone beyond it. He took another step forward when Eirlana sank to the ground beside him.

"Eirlana!" He dropped to his knees beside her, frantically trying to lift her from the icy snow.

"I am sorry" she whispered before she closed her eyes and her body went limp.

"Lethallan! Eirlana!" Solas held her body as best he could.

Ryan turned around as he heard Solas scream. He almost fell as he hurried back down to them. Removing his cloak, he draped it around them both. "I try to get help. Stay with her." Shivering Ryan went up the pass again.

Solas brushed her face, alarmed how cold it felt he clutched her tighter against his body. Wrapping Ryan's cloak around her, he started to rub her body, hoping it would warm her a little. Closing his eye he tightly pressed his head against hers. "Wake up. Please, Eirlana. Wake up." he whispered in her ear.

* * *

In many fantasy stories there is this notion of immortality of elves, but what does it mean. After Solas comment about you don't kill the first of my people so easily, I got the idea they can't simply be killed by normal means. They don't die from wounds like the humans and elves from this age. Even with the Veil in place Solas body hasn't changed, but it reacts in protecting itself.

On another note I like the notion that Solas would be rattled when Corypheus suddenly shows up handling his orb. Especially seeing it activated, something he wasn't able to do :)

.

"Asahn ea'se tor amahn sasha?" - What are you doing out here alone?

"Ar'vegara ithal sul se." - I came back looking for you.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

.

Solas waited alone, holding Eirlana close against his body. She was drifting in and out of consciousness, her body shivering uncontrollably, no longer responding to her wishes. It felt like he waited an eternity. He had always felt a disdain for the hasty and unthoughtful lives mortals lived. Now he understood this urgency as he was aware of every second that past. The urgency that came with having a mortal body. He felt her life slipping through his fingers like fine sand, and he was powerless to prevent it. Desperately he tried several times to call his magic to keep her warm, but his powers kept eluding him. All he could feel was cold and pain. He had never felt this powerless. Why did his magic fail him? Why couldn't he help her? All he could do was sit and wait, wait for help to arrive.

.

Cullen grabbed his fur coat and shouldered a pack with extra supplies. He looked at the men and women who had volunteered for the search. Splitting them in two, he directed them to the two different passes that led down to Haven to look for more survivors. He himself, followed by a handful of men, headed out in the direction Eirlana had gone the previous night. Before he made his way out of the camp, Cassandra caught up with him. "Cullen, you are set on this?"

"Yes, the more people are searching for survivors, the more we can save. Finally, this damned storm has stopped. Time is of the essence, we cannot afford to wait any longer."

They walked out of the valley as they saw a figure stumble out of the fissure and collapse to his knees.

Cullen couldn't believe his eyes, it was the Herald. "There it's him!" Cullen began to run followed by the others.

Cassandra knelt beside Ryan "Thank the Maker you made it."

Ryan was exhausted and wounded, his face affected by frostbite. Cassandra slung his arm over her shoulder and hoisted him up. "Come you need to see a healer."

Ryan turned his head back down the path he came. "Down there. Solas and Eirlana, they need help."

Cullen waited not another second and sped down the mountain.

The fast footsteps crunched and shifted the snow. Solas heard them and recognised Cullen voice calling out to them. "Cullen! Over here!" he yelled.

"Solas! Thank the Maker you made it."

Cullen knelt beside them as the other scouts followed his path down. He studied Solas face, strained by pain and exhaustion. "Can you walk?"

"With help. We need to get her warm. Quickly!."

"Understood." Cullen freed Eirlana from Solas' hold. He removed her wet cloak and wrapped his own around her. Her slender figure almost disappeared in it, its thick fur collar obscuring her delicate face almost completely as he scooped her up into his arms. A scout knelt beside Solas helping him up, another took the discarded cloak and their belongings. They were brought to one of the open tents. Healers were already caring for Ryan on one of the makeshift beds. Carefully Cullen lay Eirlana down on another. Solas sat down beside her. Briefly, Eirlana opened her eyes before slipping away again. Both men's concern grew as they saw her in the light. Her skin ghostly pale, her lips cracked by the cold and almost blue. One of the sisters called for more blankets and quickly started to remove her wet fur foot wrappings. "Her temperature is dangerously low. We need to get her in one of the smaller tents to slowly warm up."

"I will see to it." Cullen responded and left in a hurry.

With the wrappings removed Eirlana's pale blue feet became visible in stark contrast with the large dark scars encircling her ankles. The sister placed a warm cloth on them before wrapping another blanket around her.

"I will look for some dry clothes she can change into."

.  
Solas didn't pay much attention to the elven healer seeing to him, carefully removing his bandage. When she started picking out the shards to clean the wound further, he hissed out in discomfort. A large shard was lodged deep in his flesh, and Solas groaned as the healer tried to get it out. His fingers dug into the wood of the field bed. A sigh of relief left him as she finally managed to pull it out. It was a strange sensation as Solas felt his magic return to him. Without a second thought, he stopped the bleeding out of the large hole left behind.

"Please, can I have that." he held his hand out for the large shard. The healer raised an eyebrow but dropped it in his outstretched hand. It was smeared with his own blood. With his thumb, he whipped some of it away. The shard's energy felt wrong, corrupted and he could see faint red lines embedded in it, red lyrium. Solas slipped the shard into his coat when Cullen returned. "I have a tent where you can rest." with care he lifted Eirlana up. He waited for Solas to follow and let him through the tents and fires. Many survivors sat huddled together, an air of defeat and grief hung in the air.

"I will send the healers as soon as they are finished with the Herald."

"That will not be necessary. I will take care of her."

They came to a tent just as Cassandra exited, holding her and Cullen's shield. She held the flap open for them to enter. "It is good to have you back with us Solas." Solas gave her a courtesy nod before he followed Cullen.

.

The tent was dimly lit by a small lamp. Several blankets and a sleeping fur lay ready, as well as a jug of warm water. Cullen placed Eirlana carefully on the fur and made room for Solas. "Do you need anything else?"

Solas groaned as he sat down next to her. "A sister went looking for dry clothes. They would be most welcome and a couple of hand-sized rocks."

"Rocks?" Cullen looked puzzled. "Never mind, you will get them."

Gently Solas stroked Eirlana's hair out of her face. At last, they had made it.

"Solas?" Eirlana stirred, her voice sounding weak.

Glad she had woken up, he tried to sit her up. "I know you are tired lethallan, but I need you to remove your wet clothes." It was difficult, but together they managed to strip her. To his relieve, her undergarments were still dry. With her secured under the blankets, he removed his own tattered clothes.

"Solas?" the voice of Varric called from outside.

"Yes."

Varric opened the tent, behind him squatted Iron Bull carrying several rocks of different sizes.

"Sorry, this is all that is free and dry at the moment." Varric gave him a shirt and a pair of elven leggings.

"Thank you." Solas crawled as best he could to the tent opening to take them.

"Glad you are still with us. That is a nasty wound you have there." Varric pointed at his torso stained with dry blood and covered in bandages.

"The worst is over. It will heal with time."

"Good to hear. I was worried shitless when I heard Snowflake left to look for you. How is she doing."

While Varric was talking, Solas took several rocks from Bull's arms. "She needs warmth and rest." He handed Varric the discarded wet clothes. "Can these be dried somewhere?"

"No problem. I will see to it. Rest. Call if you need anything we are right next door."

"Thank you." He closed the tent and set to work. Now with his magic returned he traced his fingers over the stones. Runes of a forgotten era appeared warming them up. He wrapped one in cloth, placing it under the blankets at Eirlana's feet. The others he laid out across the tent for warmth. Eirlana had fallen back to sleep. Taking the washing cloth, he swiftly cleaned her arms and face before dressing her in the shirt. He then washed the dried blood off himself before slipping into the dry leggings.

.

Solas lay down beside Eirlana under the blankets. He pulled her against his naked torso, holding her secure in his arms. His legs intertwined with hers. Closing his eyes, he pressed his forehead against hers and let his magic flow. His body heat engulfed her, slowly warming her frozen body. She felt so fragile, so fleeting in his arms. Softly he circled his thumbs, stroking her back. Never before had he been so aware of her mortality, the weight of it. The weight of the burden he had placed on her, on his own People. Yet she had risked it all, risked her existence to reach him. How could she be so fragile and so strong at the same time?

"They are stronger than you think." the words of his former long-time friend and agent Felassan came to mind. Back then he hadn't understood what he meant. He had only seen failure and insubordination. He regretted that he had killed him in his rage. Felassan had walked amongst the mortals as his eyes and ears for many years. Now that he walked amongst them himself, he began to understand what Felassan had seen.

Solas studied her sleeping face, raw and marked by the cold. Weaving a light spell, he healed the traces of frostbite and her cracked lips. She had come back for him, had walked hours alone in the storm to find him. This was the first time someone tried to protect him to this extent. In the past, countless people had fought and died by his side. Supported him in his goals but he couldn't recall that anyone ever wanted to protect him this much. He was Fen'Harel, the lone wolf. He didn't need help. The People came to him for protection, not the other way around. He felt a chill when he thought back at her protective stance, she would have defended him with everything she had.

He kissed her forehead. To his relief, she was getting warmer. "Please, be more careful." he whispered.

Eirlana stirred in her sleep. "Solas?" her voice sounded drowsy, her mind far away.

"Ssssh. Sleep, you need to rest." Solas stroked her damp hair.

She moved her body closer against him. Nuzzling her head against his. Sleepy she mumbled "Hmm warm … don't go." her lips brushed lightly against his jaw and neck as she spoke.

Solas inhaled sharp, a pleasant shiver ran over his body. His stomach fluttered as her lips continued to move. Mumbling something inaudible before she drifted back to sleep. His heart hammered in his chest. Solas took a deep breath to calm himself down. Laying warm and comfortable against her body he listened to her deep and even breaths until he drifted asleep.

.

Eirlana was in a dark old damp room.

How did she get here? She couldn't remember.

The energy in the room felt wrong.

Rough laughter sounded behind her. In fear, she spun around.

A locked door was behind her. Had the door been there before?

The rough laughter continued. She knew these voices. No! She shook her head. This was wrong!

Heavy steps could be heard, they drew closer and closer.

Panic spread through her. She needed to get away.

Focused on the door, she took a step back. The rattling of chains had her looking down. Her hands and feet were bound by heavy chains to the ground.

The door flew open with a loud crash. Her eyes went big with fear. Her throat closed up from sheer terror as the half-dressed ex-templar entered. Intoxicated he swayed on his feet. He gave her an evil grin as he closed in on her, slowly opening his trousers.

Terrified Eirlana tried to get away, but the chains held her in place. Desperate she tugged at them. This wasn't real, this was a dream. She started screaming. "NO! You are not real! You are dead!"

He kept coming closer, eyeing her lecherous. "Come be a good girl."  
"NO! Get away!."

With a shudder she awoke, fear and adrenaline running through her body. It was dark, someone held her. She could feel the naked flesh that wasn't hers pressing against hers.

Panicked she pushed, kicked, scratched. She couldn't get away, tangled in the blankets. Hands tried to grab her again. "NO!" She lashed out. Tumbling backwards she fell against the cold canvas of the tent.

A globe of light appeared. Solas looked alarmed at her. He had awoken abruptly by her sudden screams. Before he could do anything, she attacked him. His chest stung where her nails had left deep bloody scratches.  
Eirlana stared at him, her eyes big with fear. She was panting, visibly shaking.

"Eirlana?"

She flinched as he spoke. Her lip began to quiver, and tears rolled down her cheeks. "It was a dream." she whispered. Hugging her knees, she rolled up into a ball crying. Rocking back and forward she kept saying to herself. "He is dead. It was a dream."

"It was a dream... a dream."

.

Carefully Solas crawled closer. He pulled her into his arms. For a second time, Eirlana cried against his shoulders. Solas held her sobbing body tightly, trying to comfort her. Gently he stroked her head until she calmed down.

Wiping away her tears he tugged her back in. "Come lethallan let me take you to another place."

He cast a light spell to ward off any more harmful spirits before their minds entered the Fade. He led her to one of his treasured memories of the ancient gardens of Arlathan.

It was night. Soft music of harps and flutes filled the air. Their feet walked over soft mossy paths. Above them, countless tiny lights filled the air, recreating the starry sky amongst the giant trees. Gentle spirits roamed these gardens, memories of lost songs and tales spun by forgotten artists. Nightly flowers bloomed everywhere, colourful moths fluttered in the air and fireflies danced over the lilies on the lake. Solas sat down in a secluded alcove looking out over the water. He pulled Eirlana down onto the cushions into his arms. She didn't struggle as his arms closed protectively around her. Securing her against his body. She leant against him, grateful for his presence. Her mind drifted, taking in this wonderful place, the nightmare forgotten. They didn't speak much that night while listening to the music and calls of night birds. Savouring the comfort of each other's presence.

.

It was early morning when Eirlana woke up from the growing activity of the camp. The dull sounds of axes felling trees, people walking past the tent talking. Reluctantly she opened her eyes. Her breath hitched, Solas face lay only inches from hers. He was sound asleep. His arms wrapped around her, holding her against him. The feeling was overwhelming, intense, so different from the Fade. It felt far more real. She was aware of every breath he took, could feel his muscles pressing against her. His body heat wrapping around her like a blanket. She felt warm, comfortable and safe.

Being so close she noticed the light dark circles under his eyes. The exertion of their journey and his wounds had taken its toll. Thinking back at how she had found him, she almost couldn't believe he had survived. Her eyes studied his face intensely as if she saw it for the first time. The light freckles around his nose, his prominent jawline, the high cheekbones and the dimple in his chin. When her eyes reached the scar on his forehead, she wondered how he had gotten it. Her eyes wandered down again towards his lips. A smile lay upon them.

Why was he smiling?

Her eyes shot up meeting his grey-violet ones, that were sparkling. He was awake.

Immediately Eirlana started blushing. How long had he already been awake? Was it rude of her to stare at him like that? Did he know she found him handsome? Handsome? With that thought, her face flushed a shade darker. Why was she thinking that?

Solas kept smiling at her. "Good morning." He had felt her moving when she woke up, her body resting against his. Holding still he had watched her, peeking through his eyelashes.

Flustered Eirlana stammered. "Good morning." She wanted to move, but his arms still held her. Was it rude to free herself? What should she do?

Solas noticed her sudden shyness. He found it fascinating, her flushed cheeks beautiful. He wanted to tease her more, but he reluctantly let go of her when he felt her body tense up.

Eirlana sat up moving away from him. Not knowing what to do or say, she began picking at the sleeve of the large shirt she wore. Questions flooded her mind. Was it strange she found him handsome? Why didn't she mind being close to him? What did he think of her? Wasn't she bothersome?

Without her noticing, her shirt slipped from her shoulders, exposing them. Her body had grown healthy in the past months they had spent together, but he never noticed before the womanly figure that she was slowly getting. Solas suppressed the need he felt to pull her close again, to feel her soft body once more.

From outside the tent came the screeching voice of Sera. Being chased by what sounded like Iron Bull. With the world penetrating their small sanctuary Solas sat up with a groan. His muscles stiff, his wounds not completely healed. Eirlana gasped as she saw the deep scratches she had caused.

"I... I am so sorry."

Before she could move further away from him, he took her hands. "You had a nightmare. You were scared."

"I..."

Solas put his finger on her lips. "Sssh, It's all right. It was worth getting these scratches. Otherwise, we wouldn't have had an excuse to visit the gardens of Arlathan." to his joy her cheeks flushed again.

He let go of her and began to remove his bandages, they were itchy and bothersome.

Forgetting her shyness, Eirlana reached out. "Here. Let me help."

.

Solas walked away from the stifling atmosphere that clouded the camp. During the day they had secured more supplies, cared for the wounded and found a few survivors, but no one had any idea what they should do next. Spirits were crushed, and most of the survivors were in shock. He needed room to think, to adapt his own plans. Things had changed now Corypheus had revealed himself and his insane plan to become a god. Not that he would succeed, rather he would fail and crush this world in a wave of destruction.

The audacity of the creature to claim he had crafted the Anchor. It was a lie. Everything the Imperium ever had accomplished was founded on the bones of his People. The Imperium's achievements, powers and magic stolen and twisted to serve as their own. Solas had witnessed in his dreams, the slaughter and abuse the Imperium had brought to the People as a result of his actions. Now once more Corypheus wanted to bring back the Imperium of old. And through his actions, Corypheus had the power in hands to do so. He needed to be stopped.

Now the Inquisition was aware of Corypheus existence, they would actively hunt him down. All of Thedas would flock to their banners as they gathered more allies, to combat this evil. They would clash again in the future, and ultimately Corypheus reckless behaviour would be his undoing.

Solas knew if his performance in the last battle was any indication, he was not ready to engage Corypheus alone. He was still too weak after his long slumber. It would be wiser for him to stay and support the Inquisition, even though he didn't always agree with their actions. It was the safest path to get control over his orb again and strengthen the Veil in the meanwhile. He could keep an eye on the Anchor and take advantage of the growing influence of the Inquisition. He would have access to more information, and he would in return feed them the right amount of information to direct their efforts.

.

This led to the next question where to go. All day the advisers had pored over the maps, discussing their options to no results. They needed a new base, staying here was out of the question. Already the wounded were losing the battle against the cold. With the current political struggles and the Inquisition trying to be an independent force, meant they couldn't turn to Orlais or Fereldan. Both countries would take offence if they chose one over the other. And any Lord, Marquis or Duke would be nervous if suddenly a foreign army would take residence at their front door.

Solas knew of another option, Tarasyl'an Te'las was relatively close by or Skyhold as it was called nowadays. Though he felt reluctant to suggest it. He had a history with that place even when nothing of his manor had survived to this age. Others had build strongholds in its place. Now there stood an abandoned castle waiting for new occupants. It was ironic he had to return to one of his former homes to engage the mess he had started. He had found that the Veil was strong there. The magic of the place hadn't faded away, you could still feel its presence unto this age. It had seeped into the stone, lingered in the air. Returning there would be strange.

Solas eyes wandered back to the camp. He spotted Cullen walking with his head down over some reports almost colliding with Eirlana. After a few lines of conversation, Eirlana walked further in his direction. Solas felt a twinge as he saw Cullen's eyes follow her. The wolf in him growled, his fur bristled. He peeled his eyes from Cullen. What had started as curiosity was growing into something quite different, these feelings he was developing were worrisome and dangerous. He knew he was crossing a line with his growing relationship with her. He could hear his reason warning him, if he would go any further, it would complicate things significantly. There was still time to avoid it. He had to distance himself from her, ignore his increasing feelings.

.

Eirlana came closer, thankful she was a moment away from the despairing atmosphere. Solas was watching her with burning eyes. She could almost feel his intense stare physically. It was making her a little nervous, but a strange warmth spread through her at the same time, unaware it made her smile.

Solas chest tightened at her shy expression. Yes, this was getting troublesome.

What would happen if he brought her to Tarasyl'an Te'las? What could she uncover? He knew with the strong Veil, there were no lingering spirits at present that could 'tell' on him. They fled the place when he created it, but that was no guarantee she wouldn't discover secrets about him. What would she do if she would discover who he was? What would she think of him? Would she be afraid of him? Would she have protected him if she knew what he had done?

Eirlana coughed. "What are you doing out here?"

"I needed some space to think what our next course of action should be."

"I believe we have to get out of here fast. With the cold and no hope, the wounded will not make it."

Solas was worried, she looked worn out. Not yet fully recovered, she had spent the day helping to take care of the wounded. He noticed a cut on her face. "What happened?" on impulse he took her chin and moved her head to get a better look.

"What?"

"That wound on your face."

"Oh." she touched it. "One of the soldiers had a nightmare about the attack. He flailed and struck me. I forgot about it. There are so many wounded. People are cold and getting sick. We can't stay here for long."

Solas placed his hand on her cheek, healing it. Eirlana closed her eyes, it felt warm and comforting.

Not removing his hand he brushed her cheek "You should take better care of yourself."

For a moment they stared at each other, both not really knowing what to do. Confused and unsure about these new feelings they had.

There it was, Solas thought, that dangerous line, he shouldn't encourage this any further. He removed his hand and turned his back. "I agree we need a new location. Staying here would be futile."

Eirlana stared at his back confused at his sudden distant tone. Had she done something wrong? She had to cough again.

Solas spun back around, concerned at her coughing. He made his decision, he needed to get her to a safe place. "I know of a place ideal for our needs."

When she saw his concern, it confused her even more. The physical world was difficult to understand, feelings and emotions were so much clearer and more straightforward in the Fade. Hoping everything was all right between them, she asked. "Where can we go to?"

"You will see. It is not that far away, but I have to convince Ryan and the others first."

.

Solas started walking back, Eirlana following him. When they were in the camp, they spotted Ryan beside Mother Giselle, who began to sing a prayer to the Maker. More and more people joined her. Their crushed spirits rose up making room for hope and faith. They sang to praise their Maker with Ryan in the middle as their saviour.

Solas observed it with interest. Their faith was strong and could carry them far to rise up against Corypheus. It would be sorely needed in the days to come. The walk towards Skyhold was challenging, and many of the wounded would perish on the way. What bothered him was, what that faith would do if he revealed too much. He needed to tell just enough to secure his place as an advisor but not too much to raise any suspicion.  
As he approached Ryan, he overheard Mother Giselle. "Faith is made stronger by facing doubt. Untested it is nothing." before she left him.

"A word?" Solas bade Ryan before leading him away from the camp. "A wise woman, worth heeding. Her kind understands the moments that unify a cause. Or fracture it."

"What did you want Solas?"  
"I recognised the orb Corypheus carried. It is ancient magic of elven origin. I believe Corypheus used it to open the Breach. Unlocking it must have caused the explosion that destroyed the conclave."  
"How do you know all this."

"I have seen such things in the Fade, old memories of older magic. They were called foci and used to channel ancient magic. I don't know if Corypheus is aware of its origin, but it worries me how people will react when they learn of it."  
"We have bigger concerns at the moment, no matter where that cursed thing has come from."

"I agree, and I may have a solution."  
"If you've something that will help us, now's the time to tell."  
"Yes, now is the time. There lies an abandoned fortress to the north. It may provide us shelter and a place to rebuild."  
"Are you serious? Come show it to me on the maps. If this is doable, we will leave at sunrise."  
.

They left the next morning, packing everything they could carry. Solas directed Ryan so he could guide them to Skyhold. The journey was difficult, but the people were high-spirited, determined to reach the place that would be their new home. As the night fell, they made up camp. Everyone was busy and talking, wondering where the Herald would lead them. Solas sat in a corner of one of the open tents for shelter. The whole day he had answered questions to Ryan and the advisers about Skyhold. What and how he knew about it, any details he could provide. Now he felt tired and needed some rest. His healed wounds felt tender and painful after the day's march. Secure in a blanket he leant back against a sack. He closed his eyes and tried to tune out the tumult surrounding him.

"How far do we have to go?"  
"I am so thankful Commander Cullen found him."  
"Praise Andraste that she protected the Herald. He is truly her champion."  
"Here you go, Miss. I am sorry all beds are already occupied."  
"Thank you." coughing. "I will find a spot."

Solas eyes shot open. "Eirlana."  
Eirlana turned looking around until she spotted Solas at the back of the tent. A blanket in her arms she came to him. She looked even more exhausted than yesterday, her cough was getting worse. Forgetting all his reasons to distance himself he rearranged himself and opened his blanket, offering a place next to him. "Come. You can rest here."

Eirlana hesitated, his actions confused her. Since last evening, Solas had been distant to her. They had slept separately that night, and he had ignored her during the day. Only talking to her briefly when they took a short break. She had thought he was bothered by her. That he was angry with her because she had hurt him.  
"Eirlana?"

A little worried she sat down beside him. His heat engulfed her like a second blanket. The closeness she felt towards him was strange, yet it felt safe and comfortable at the same time. She had never been so close with anybody in her life. Carefully she lay down beside him keeping a little distance between them. The noises around them died down as more people went to sleep. Eirlana kept pondering for the reason why Solas was acting different towards her and if she should ask him if she had done something wrong. Thinking he was already asleep she was surprised when he sighed deeply next to her. He rolled over, his arms embracing her and pulled her closer, cuddling against her. Shortly after she could hear his even breaths, he had fallen asleep holding her in his arms. Her heart hammered in her chest as butterflies fluttered in her stomach. Hoping everything was alright she drifted into the Fade.

.

* * *

So after reading the Masked Empire, I decided to give Felessan an honourable mention in the story. I like the idea of Solas becoming aware of the worth of mortals during his time spent with the Inquisition. That even mortals with their fleeting lives can teach you something.


	11. Chapter 11

Hello guys

Sorry, it took so long for the next chapter.

I could stop taking my meds, so I did. Sadly concentrating on my writing was the price I had to pay.

Hopefully, things are going to be smoother from here on, because this story has a load of chapters still lodged in my brain. It would be a shame if it would stay there ;)

Much love for all your readers and commenters.

Enjoy

* * *

 **Chapter 11**

.

"I tell you Tiny. If he doesn't talk to her today. I will make him!" Varric was entangling the lines, while Bull was hammering the poles into the ground. They were helping to set up the tents outside the fortresses for the night.

"You don't mean Solas, do you?" Bull leant on the big hammer he was using.

"Do you know anybody else who suddenly has decided to act like Snowflake is some stranger?"

"I wouldn't worry too much." Bull said while taking another swing.

"Don't worry? What do you know about it, you are a Qunari. I thought feelings and commitment are outlawed under the Qun. He is hurting her, and she can't make any sense of it."

"Hmrrr." Bull grunted as Varric mentioned the Qun, but he didn't want to waste his evening to explain its complex workings to an outsider. "She is stronger than you think." he took the lines from Varric. "You weren't there when she took command and guided us up that mountain. There is a whole other side to that girl. Besides, it won't take long before he cracks."

"Solas and cracking?" Varric raised a sceptical eyebrow.

Bull grinned. "He is a little too stoic and correct for my liking, but he cares for her. He is watching her, more often than he wants to admit. Maybe something happened between them, or she hurt his pride by saving him. Give them some more time to figure it out themselves. In any case, let's keep going, if we don't finish this tent, I owe the Chargers another keg."

.

The last rays of sunshine shone warmly on Eirlana's face as she sat against the battlements of the fortress. They bathed her in a radiant red golden glow. A soft breeze played with strands of hair that had escaped her long braid. Mud and dust-covered, she gazed out over the valley below her. She felt sick and weary from the arduous journey. She couldn't believe they had made it to Skyhold. They had escaped the destruction of Haven and survived the long journey through the mountains with fast depleting supplies. Around her, the fortress was buzzing with activity. People were hastily preparing rooms and along the shores of the frozen lake camps were made for the night. Everyone felt relieved they had finally reached their destination.

None of them seemed to be aware of the traces of magic that surrounded them. The magic lingered in the air like a fine mist, it seeped out of the stone this fortress was built on. It was old ancient magic. Eirlana had felt something similar in some of the Elvhen ruins she had visited, but nothing as strong as this. Something major must have happened here long ago, for its effects to be still visible to this day. The grounds of the stronghold weren't frozen. It was warmer here, enabling trees and plants to grow, like in a green oasis in this desert of ice and snow.

A few hours ago they had climbed the last slope. Standing on the top, they finally could see the fortress rising high above the icy valley. Everyone was cheering in relief and joy. They had made it. They had survived. Praising Andraste, the Maker and the Herald they hastily walked down towards the frozen lake and Skyhold. Eirlana halted in her tracks, ignoring the joyful people walking past her, some bumping into her in their excitement. It wasn't the sight of the fortress that had stopped her, it was the air itself. She could feel ancient traces of magic hanging in the air like a fine vapour, it tingled on her skin. Somehow the Veil felt a lot stronger here, it faded her connection to the Fade a little. It was nothing like she had ever experienced. This place felt old, much older than the fortress looked like. What was this place?

.

Her senses a little overwhelmed she spotted Solas, who quietly observed the survivors walking past him. A little hesitant she approached him. He had grown more and more distant towards her during the journey. Nervously she smiled at him. "We made it."

"Yes, we have arrived." he stated. Without even glancing at her he walked further, leaving her behind.

Eirlana felt her heart ache. He had not even looked at her. Clearly, he was avoiding her, but she couldn't understand why. It had gotten worse after the night he had pulled her closer. Since then whenever she tried to speak to him, his answers were curt and he would walk away, just like now. In the nights she didn't see him. He was acting so strange towards her, cold and standoffish.

Was he angry with her?

Did she do something wrong?

His actions confused her, and she didn't know how to react to them or what she should do. It hurt her, there was this unfamiliar numb pain she felt whenever he averted his eyes. Not for the first time she wished she knew more about this life. This new life Solas had given her was so strange, so different compared to her old one. She had been nothing more than an object, to be used and locked away when they were done with her. Now she was free. Free to live as she chooses, but it was much more complicated and puzzling than she thought it would be. Even with the countless memories and fractions of lives, she had seen in the Fade, it didn't compare to experience them on her own. A storm of different interactions and emotions was raging inside her, trapping her. A storm with Solas at its centre. It was frightening, these new feelings she felt for him. Where would they lead her?

Not that the life she lived now could be called peaceful. With Solas, the Breach, the Inquisition, Corypheus and the emerging of a foci, it was hard to keep up with it all. Even in this small moment of rest, things were far from calm. As the Inquisition was planning their next move, so was this Elder One. With his appearance events buried for many centuries were resurfacing to change life as they knew it once more, for better or for worse.

What was her role in all of it? She wondered. And what about Solas? She knew he kept secrets from the Inquisition, with good cause. But how much did he actually know? Something was peculiar, his vast knowledge of the Fade, the strange condition she found him in, his quick recovery.

Eirlana stomach fluttered when she thought more about him. His caring nature, his observing eyes, his warmth, his too rare smiles.

Tired and deep in thought Eirlana didn't notice Solas coming up the stairs, looking for her.

"Eirlana?"

With a yelp she jumped up, almost losing her balance. Solas grabbed her by her waist. They both froze, holding their breaths. For a few seconds, their eyes locked, neither of them moving.

"My apologies. I didn't mean to scare you." Solas recovered first from the sudden contact.

"No, I... cough, I was just resting... thinking." Eirlana fumbled with her words, her cheeks flushed.

Why was he here now? He was so close, too close. Nervous and her feelings still in turmoil, she freed herself from his arms. Taking a few steps away from him. "I... I have to go." Abruptly she turned and walked away coughing. She didn't see his pained expression when she left.

.

Solas felt a sting when she suddenly walked away. Alarmed by his impulsive actions towards her, he had deliberately kept his distance the last couple of days. Her reaction just now was a logic result after his sudden unfriendly attitude. What he didn't expect was how difficult he found it to stay away from her.

He missed her, more than he wanted to admit. In such a short time she had become a part of his life. A part he didn't know he lacked or wanted. A part he didn't know he longed for. She was stirring up emotions and desires, he didn't know he longer possessed.

He could almost hear Mythal chuckle in his mind. She would have been extremely pleased with herself if she saw him now. She had always lectured him to calm down, to live his life away from violence, strife and scheming. To not choose a path of conflict and bloodshed To settle down and find someone to end his solitary existence. Solas had listened and argued with her countless times, but it never took long before he dismissed her advice. Prideful and convinced of his right, he always resumed his old ways. He was the Dread Wolf, the lone protector, he didn't need anyone.

Now here he was, fighting these impulses awakened by her, a mere mortal. Mortal, the word left him with a very bitter nasty taste. Suppressing his emotions, he walked after her. He convinced himself, it was necessity not longing that made him follow. He needed to spend the night at her side. Judging from her reaction to the valley it was vital to be there when she would explore these grounds in the Fade. He needed to make sure she wouldn't uncover anything crucial from his past.

.

Eirlana walked hastily along the battlements, her cheeks burning. Solas had surprised her.

Why did he suddenly show up?

Why did he talk to her right at the moment she was thinking about him?

Why did he speak to her after ignoring her for days?

Slowly she felt herself calm down. This wasn't right. Walking away wouldn't help.

Just as she wanted to turn back, she saw Cullen leaning heavily against one of the towers. He looked as if he was in pain, a hand pressed against his forehead.

"Cullen?"

Cullen jumped a little when he heard her voice. Biting away his withdrawal symptoms he put on his professional face. "Eirlana, do you need something?"

"Are you all right? You don't look so good."

He could see her concern reflecting in her eyes, and he knew there was nothing she could do against it. Lyrium withdrawal was incurable, except if you started to retake it and that was something he was not willing to do. No, this burden was his own to carry.

"It's nothing. A slight headache, nothing more." his lip curled up, giving her a warm smile.

She looked sceptical but had to turn away, getting another coughing fit. Now it was Cullen's turn to worry.

"That doesn't sound good."

Catching her breath, Eirlana knew it was getting worse. What little medicine there was hadn't helped and with the cold, insufficient rest and the many wounded, it had only gotten worse.

"I just need some rest."

"You and me both." Cullen smiled. "The journey has taken its toll on all of us."

He looked over her shoulder. "I will leave you two alone. Have a good night." he nodded before he walked away with quick strides.

.

Knowing who stood behind her, Eirlana turned around feeling anxious. Before she could say anything, Solas reached out to her. "You are not well."

He touched her face and forehead. "You have a fever!"

"A little. I... I just need some rest." she saw him frowning. "Don't worry."

"Come." he gestured to follow him. "I have found us a place to sleep."

Taken aback she didn't react at first.

"Lethallan?"

A sense of relief spread through her, Solas seemed to be more like his old self again. Maybe he was just shaken by the events she thought. "I hadn't thought about where I would sleep. Thank you." she followed him. It had only been a few days, but it felt like it had been much longer since she had talked to him. Curious about the place he had led them, she asked. "Solas, this valley. Did the Elvhen lived here once?"

He halted, weighing his answer before he proceeded. "Yes, long ago, though a different building stood here back then. It was called Tarasyl'an Te'las."

Happy he had answered her Eirlana fell into step next to him. Solas heard her mumble. "The place where the sky held." He could see she was pondering on the name. A little louder she added. "The ground still remembers."  
"The ground remembers many things, sadly we don't have the skills to understand its language."

He let her above the great hall, out to a corridor looking out over the garden.

"Here." he opened the second door and followed her inside.

The room was dusty and in disarray, like everything in the stronghold. Broken furniture and rubble lay around, but it was comfortably warm. Solas had managed to start a fire in the fireplace. In front of it, the floor was swept, a sleeping fur and blankets lay ready. In a corner stood their staves and his pack.

"It isn't much, but it is warm. There is some water to wash off some of the dust. It should still be warm. I will be back." He left closing the squeaking and creaking door behind him as best he could.

.

Alone in the room, Eirlana was stunned what he had managed to arrange. She didn't know what she was expecting, but it wasn't this. On an old chair stood a cracked bowl. In it steamed fresh water, next to it lay soap and a washing cloth. Where did he even find a bowl in all of this she wondered, while she peeled off her dirty clothes. Dressed in her undershirt, she washed her face, arms and feet. The warm water felt good against her skin. The fire radiated a pleasant heat that slowly seeped into her. Only now she could feel how her body ached for rest and warmth. Somewhat cleaner, she slipped under the blankets. Tired she fought to keep her eyes open, wanting to talk some more with Solas.

When Solas returned, she was already fast asleep. Quickly he threw out the used water before he closed the door, hoping the noise wouldn't wake her. He stared at her for a while, curled up in a blanket before he stripped. Pouring fresh water into the bowl, he warmed it with a flick of his wrist and began to clean himself. Remembering her previous reaction, he dressed again in his cleanest shirt he had before he lay down beside her. It didn't take long before he followed her into the Fade. Finding her would be easy.

.

The Fade felt heavy, it lay frozen in time. Shocked by the magical marvel Solas had created here long ago. Forever frozen in the chaos and despair, he had called upon this realm. The gardens lay still, trapped in this memory, long abandoned by the spirits that once roamed this place. The once floating towers and hanging gardens, no longer supported by magic, were crumbling around him, laying destroyed around his former estate. The spiralling staircases of crystal and energy had disappeared into nothingness. Broken remnants, dust and debris floated in the sky, giving a bleak testimony of the destruction he had brought upon his own home.

Solas walked along the familiar paths, through the elegantly curved halls, following the presence of her spirit. He felt tense meeting her here in his old home. Her being here made the havoc he had caused more real. His failures to the People more clear. He found her in one of the side wings. Once, it was a room where he read in the warming sunlight, shining through the high arches. Furnished with comfortable chairs and loungers, bookcases filled with poetry and knowledge it was once a place for him to relax. Integrate mosaics decorated the floors, elegant curtains, hangings and murals adored the walls, and a wide balcony gave view over the valley.

Eirlana stood there. Her hand tracing the remnants of one of the murals, scorched by fire and lightning, black paint smeared over it. Solas chilled as he saw her. He knew the painting under the destruction, it depicted him. Him at a time he didn't see the terrible things done to the People. A time he had fought in the wars, hunted his own people, gloried in their blood. A time he wasn't acting much different than the other Evanuris. He was much younger back then, cocky and cruel. He didn't see the horrendous acts he was committing, the monster he was. One day he came to his senses. He recognised the cruelty and injustices done to the People, the never-ending need and lust for power of the Evanuris. He recognised it for the evil it was.

Disgusted with himself and in rage, he had destroyed the murals and other items that glorified him and his deeds.

Solas saw Eirlana's face saddening, she shivered and protectively wrapped her arms around her. His heart felt heavy, filled with the guilt of what those murals stood for, of what he was hiding. His failure to protect the People. His failure to prevent the murder of Mythal.

He even had failed her. He had robbed her of her true potential, her immortality, the true essence of being Elvhen. No longer wanting to see it, he closed his eyes, lost in his own thoughts of the past.

.

Eirlana had walked in the empty halls of the partially destroyed castle. It was strange; usually, she would observe memories. Events from the past re-enacted by the spirits or her own recollections and dreams, formed by her own will. However, this part of the Fade was desolate, abandoned by the spirits. One cause was probably the Veil, it was thick and strong. It dampened the contact with the waking world significantly, which would make it boring for them. Stranger was that the Fade had kept a memory of this place. It must have been shaped by an extraordinary event, by extremely powerful magic ages ago. Freezing what once was in the Fade. Maybe it had also driven the spirits away. Whatever happened must have caused the lingering magic she had felt in the valley.

Though she had found this place with ease, she doubted anyone, except maybe Solas, had visited here in a long time. Unlike her who was used to travelling the Fade, she learned most mages didn't. After speaking with former Circle mages back in Haven, she had learned the Circle had thought them to fear and distrust the Fade and its occupants. Most of them were terrified they would wake up one day possessed. Sadly with that fear they also attracted wicked and corrupting spirits more easily, feasting on their negative emotions. They never explored, never wondered. Among the few mages she had met, only Solas shared her love for the Fade. The joy of speaking with the spirits, sharing their observations, learning about long lost memories and exploring its endlessness.

.

Wandering through the corridor Eirlana's eye fell on a beautiful statue. Fine robes chiselled in white marble, inlaid with golden and silver details. If she had to guess it must have been an important warrior of the Elvhen. Worshippers handing weapons and gifts were depicted on the pedestal. Sadly his upper part was missing. His shoulders and face smashed into a thousand pieces.

"I wonder what you looked like." Eirlana mumbled, touching it.

A flash of raw emotion entered her. She felt rage, desperation and anger. Shocked by the sudden invasion of her mind she staggered back into another room. Shaking her head to clear it, she looked around. More destruction surrounded her. Murals destroyed beyond recognition, blasted by magic and smeared over. Unlike the downfall of the castle, this looked deliberate. Destroyed by the same rage as the statue. Carefully her hand traced what was left of the painting. Braising herself, she let the emotions enter her. It was overwhelming and chaotic at first, but slowly she got used to them. Apart from what she felt earlier, there was guilt, loneliness and sadness, such heart-aching sadness.

Suddenly Eirlana felt herself shiver as the emotions lingering were growing stronger again, they were amplified by something. She jerked her hand back as if the wall was glowing hot. Still shivering from the emotions flooding into her, she wrapped her arms around herself. The sadness hung like a dark drapery all around her. What was happening? She looked around and saw Solas. His face turned to the ground, his eyes closed, clenching his fist. She rushed towards him, worried he was overwhelmed by the destruction and sadness of this place. "Solas!"

.

Solas felt someone touching him, gently squeezing his hands. This wasn't right. It wasn't right to look away from his deeds. Slowly he raised his eyes meeting hers.

Eirlana could see the sorrow in his eyes, could feel the pain he was in. He was swallowed by it.

"You feel it too, don't you?"

His eyes studied hers. She could see a curious twinkle form in his eyes. A twinkle she knew well. He would get it every time he found something interesting.

"Feel what?"

"There is so much sadness and pain in this place. It feels so desperate and lonely, it is almost overwhelming."

Looking at Solas, she could see it affecting him. Hoping to clear his mind and cheer him up, she took his hands and pulled him outside, on the balcony.

"Come! Even if it no longer is standing. Its memory is a magnificent sight." she smiled at him.

Solas followed her, wondering what she saw among the ruins and destruction of his old home.

.

Eirlana leant over the railing and gazed over the valley. To their left and right towers were crumbling and falling apart in a loop of time. Down in the valley white paved paths led into the forest surrounding the crystal blue lake. Its leaves brightly coloured in crimson reds and golden yellows of autumn. Without the magical protection, the mountains were slowly reclaiming their territory of ice and snow.

"Look how beautiful it is. To think that all this is covered with ice and snow now."

"Time changes a great many things. Sadly not always for the better."

"True but that doesn't mean we can't learn from history and make things better." She turned leaning with her back against the railing. "Solas, do you think the elves will be able to rebuild something like this again?"

Solas narrowed his eyes. "What do you know about the time of Arlathan?" he asked in a low voice.

"I..." she looked puzzled at him, his reaction was strange. "I have seen many things. Elves lived everywhere in these lands, using magic freely, wielding unmatched powers. An idyllic almost romantic world if you believe the stories that are told. I know it was different. Sadly war, famine and cruelty were everywhere. The elite treated their serfs not better or even worse than most elves are treated now." she stroked his arm. "I didn't mean to recreate Arlathan. I mean a place that elves can call their home, where they are safe and can live their lives freely?"

Solas lowered his eyes for a moment before he stared at her. "I... Do you believe they could?"

"Actually I think they could. I know a lot has to change and it won't happen overnight." she turned back looking out over the valley. "But if we don't try it will never happen."

.

Solas couldn't take his eyes off her. He could feel her spirit radiating from her, strong and beautiful. Full of determination and hope, full of life. She looked so comfortable, so natural for her to be here by his side. Her presence was like a bright light in this dark world. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so close to someone. Someone who without knowing shared an old dream with him. Long before he forged the Veil, he ran a lonely campaign to create the place she just described. Too few elves of power shared this dream with him. Only Mythal was one of the few who understood him, although she didn't condone in his methods. With her murder, his road to isolation and desperation was completed.

When he woke up from his long slumber, he awoke in a world full of tranquil. The People reduced to a mere shadow of their ancestors. Cut off from the essence of magic, second rank citizens believing in lies. Her being here, sharing his wish, was like the first warm breeze of spring.

"How can you have so much hope?"

Looking back over her shoulder she smiled at him. "Because you gave you hope."

Solas was shocked, not believing what he heard. He turned pale, and he had to swallow hard before he could speak again. "I give you hope?"

Worried about Solas' reaction and being more confident because she was in the Fade, Eirlana cupped his face with her hand, stroking his cheek. "Yes, you give me hope. Your confidence and presence is like a beacon to me and other elves. You may not realise it, but you live like you belong here and that nobody has the right to tell you otherwise. You freed me from a dark existence, showed me another way. I stand here free because of you. You saved me, thank you."

He took hold of her hand, pressing it against his face. He looked at her with an intense gaze, his eyes burning with an inner fire. "You don't have to thank me."

"Maybe I don't need to, but I want to." she smiled at him.

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Solas' eyes shone softer, caring. He stepped forward, trapping her against the railing. He cupped her face, softly caressing her cheek. "Maybe some things change for the better."

A warm smile spread across his lips. Blushing under his heated stare, Eirlana leant into his hand. His thumb gently stroked along her underlip. Savouring his touch, she closed her eyes and slightly parted her lips. Slowly Solas leant forward. Their noses brushing against each other. In a reaction, she tilted her head slightly. His lips slipped against hers, softly caressing them. They both drowned in this sharing sensation of closeness, longing, gratitude, wanting, love. Their lips touched again as he kissed her carefully. A little hesitant she kissed him back, her lips brushing his. Goosebumps spread through their bodies overcome by their emotions.

Solas' arms encircled her, pulling her closer. His lips claiming hers. He didn't know he craved this so much. It felt like he took the first sip of water after a desert journey.

Grabbing his tunic, Eirlana was overwhelmed. She had never felt like this in her life. Never before she had felt so close to someone. Never before she enjoyed being touched.

His tongue darted across her underlip. Loving the feeling she parted her lips slightly, giving him access, deepening the kiss. Their tongues meeting in a slow, intense sensual dance. Solas' hand had slipped into her hair, curling it around his fingers, kneading it. Their lips broke apart. Their pupils dilated, heated by their emotions. In the spur of the moment, Solas grabbed her by the waist, pulling her closer. Startled Eirlana took a sharp breath but before she could say anything their surroundings changed. They had moved to a small grove next to the castle walls. A spring flowed lazily into a small pond. Hundreds of small star-like flowers covered the soft grass. The trees were still green here. He had always loved this place and spent countless hours here, reading and dreaming in the shade of the trees. It felt calm and peaceful, the air not loaded by the despair and destruction that hung over his old home. Curious, Eirlana slipped away from him. Looking around she knelt down, her hands gliding through the many flowers. Solas knew he shouldn't, but he pulled her back up into his arms. Claiming her lips again, her mouth, her tongue. He felt drunk, flooded by her feelings, her emotions. Their spirits merging, rejoicing in their contact, their closeness.

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BANG! BANG! BANG! Startled Solas and Eirlana woke up next to the small smouldering fire. Both of them stared at each other, catching their breath, overwhelmed by what just had happened between them. There was another rapid knocking at the door, shaking them out of their trance. Solas got up and answered the door. A soldier holding a lantern stood outside. "I am sorry for the disturbance, but Lady Pentaghast is asking for Miss Eirlana. It's an emergency."

Eirlana quickly slipped into her dress, only loosely closing it with her sash. Before she could leave, Solas caught her hand. She turned around and gave him a warm, reassuring smile, squeezing his hand, then she hurried after the soldier.

Left alone Solas stared at the closed door before he began passing in front of the fireplace. He felt flustered and confused by his own actions and emotions. This shouldn't have happened, this couldn't happen. How was she stirring up desires that he had buried for centuries, even long before he created the Veil? In the past, he had enjoyed the company and pleasure of many women. There were mistresses, slaves and followers. Most of them served him willingly, part of the game of gaining power and status. Others were given no other choice because of who he was. Some of them had been special to him, others were mere pawns to pass the time in his countless involvements of surreptitious scheming and battles. He put a stop to it all the day he became the true protector and fighter for the People, the day he became Fen'Harel. Not that he hadn't had numerous offers, mistresses from his past, slaves he freed, but he never acted on it. He had committed his existence to save and protect the People. After Mythal's murder there had been no other choice, he had sworn to walk the solitary path of the Din'Anshiral to fulfil his task.

Now here she was, crumbling his carefully build up walls with an ease he never thought possible. It frightened him, it made him feel vulnerable. She should have been just another slave, one of the countless he had freed and yet she was so different. When he closed his eyes, he could remember how her spirit felt, beautiful, radiant, full of life and potential. She was showing him not all was lost, that this world was filled with beauty and wonders, but there was no turning back he had to end this world.

He knew he wanted her, cared for her, craved for her, but this could not be. He had to do terrible things, and he could not bear it for her to witness them. She was compassionate and forgiving and would reject his plans, reject what he had to become. The many lives he had sacrificed and the sacrifices he had to make. Even if she would stay by his side what lay in store was violence, and it would destroy her. Whatever he touched turned violent, his actions would end in death. It would be better, kinder to end it now before something truly began between them.

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"Quick over here!" Cassandra waved at Eirlana as she entered the great hall. She followed Cassandra into the next chambers. The room was lit by a fire and candles. Maps and papers lay scattered on the ground beside a toppled table. Cullen lay behind it, unconscious, shaking and convulsing. His face torn in pain. Josephine stood beside him clearly in shock. Leliana sat beside him, holding him, trying to prevent his head from smashing into the ground.

"Cullen!" Eirlana ran and fell on her knees beside him. She looked around for a second before she grabbed Leliana's hood. "Quickly, give me that."

A little surprised Leliana took it off. Folding it together with some of Cullen's cloak she could pry from under him, Eirlana made a cushion. "Let go of his head, he has to move freely." Carefully she rolled Cullen on his side so he wouldn't choke on his own spit.

"How long has he been like this? Has this happened before?" Eirlana looked around to the women. She was met with silence. "Please! I need to know."

Cassandra grunted. "Josephine, Leliana leave us."

Soon after Cassandra knelt beside Cullen. "What I am going to tell you, doesn't leave this room. He is in lyrium withdrawal. He has stopped taking it for months now. It was manageable for him, but this has never happened before."

Eirlana knew templars took lyrium for the power it gave them, and she had seen its addictive effects, but she never heard of someone stopping voluntarily. She let her magic spread through him and could feel the countless lyrium residues littering his body. Crystallised by the lack of fresh active lyrium. He must be in constant pain. "The headaches." she whispered.

"Can you do anything?" Cassandra looked almost pleading at her.

Eirlana could see her concern for her companion, her friend. "I have no idea how. He is not a mage, he can't process the lyrium." When she took lyrium, she consumed it, like all mages, with her abilities and her connection to the Fade. "Connection, power, conduct..." she mumbled.

Cassandra didn't say a word not wanting to disturb her chain of thought.

"Give me your knife!" Eirlana started to take of Cullen's glove and arm bracer.

Not knowing what she was planning, Cassandra gave it to her.

"I have no idea if this is going to work. I need your help. Hold him in this position as best you can."

To Cassandra's horror, she sliced into Cullen's arm. "What are you DOING!?"

Uncertain about why the sudden threatening voice she replied calmly. "I am trying to help him."

Closing her eyes, she let her magic senses run through Cullen's body. If he was convulsing and with his headaches, the main problem should be located in his brain. She let her magic flow through her hands hovering over his head.

Satisfied it didn't look like bloodmagic Cassandra could only watch. For a time nothing changed. Slowly Eirlana's hands moved lower, and to Cassandra's amazement, Cullen stopped shaking.

Ever so slowly Eirlana concentrated her magic towards the wound she had made. The strain and effort it took were visible on her face. A mixture of blood and tiny lyrium crystals poured out of the wound.

"You did it." Cassandra sighed in relief.

Feeling even more drained Eirlana knew Cullen was far from cured, but she couldn't do any more for him. She wanted to go back to sleep, to go back to Solas. "The wound needs to be cleaned. He will wake up soon, he needs further rest." she staggered as she tried to stand up coughing again. Cassandra caught her just in time and escorted her to the door.

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Eirlana felt nervous to face Solas after what happened in the Fade. After taking another breath of the cold night air, she entered the room. Solas stood in front of the fire, staring into the glowing coals. His thoughts far away. They were dark thoughts, she could see it on his face. Whatever had he endured and experienced to draw him to such darkness, she wondered. Carefully she closed the door and walked towards him. When he did not acknowledge her, she took his hand.

Solas startled and stared horrified at her hand, expecting it would turn into ash at any moment.

It was only for a few seconds, but Eirlana could see the fear in his eyes before it disappeared behind his mask. Looking calm and composed he began to speak.

"I am sorry. The kiss was impulsive. I shouldn..."

There it was, the forced distancing. He was trying to put up another wall, to hide behind it, not allowing her to come closer. She didn't want that, wouldn't allow it. On impulse she placed her fingers on his lips, silencing him.

"Solas, it's okay." Perplexed he gazed at her. "It's okay. I am also uncertain."

In a bold move, she kissed him. This was so different from the Fade. Solas could feel her warmth, the softness of her lips, her body moving closer to his, her hot breath against his skin, his rapid heartbeat. He felt his resolve disappearing.

Not getting a reaction Eirlana stopped. Did she make a mistake? She studied him intensely.

Solas swallowed hard and took a deep breath. Closing his eyes, he slowly leant his forehead against hers.

"Things have always been easier for me in the Fade." he whispered.

"For us both. I don't know if this is right, but I know I have feelings for you. Feelings I have never felt before. Things I never thought I would or could feel. I, I care for you..." she squeezed his hands "... and it scares me."

His walls crumbling Solas began to speak. "It has been such a long time. You are becoming important to me. More important than I ever could imagine. I am scared of losing you." he moved his head back. Softly he stroked her face. He felt the weight of his own words. Dreaded the consequences what they meant. "I don't want to hurt you."

Eirlana could see the pain in his eyes. "You won't. I trust you."

"You shouldn't."

She kissed him again. It felt more intense this time. He cared for her, he had said it out loud. It made the kiss more meaningful, more real. He wrapped his arms around her pulling her close, claiming her lips in return. The kiss was sensual and long. Both were out of breath when they broke apart. Eirlana rested her head against his shoulder, wrapping her arms around him. Solas kissed the top of her head, feeling like he held the most precious possession of this world in his arms. He felt her leaning more and more into him. When she started to cough again, he moved her to their blankets. The exhaustion had caught up with her. Quickly they both lay down.  
"Sorry." she whispered.

"Shhh, you need your rest. Go to sleep vhenan." it rolled naturally of his tongue. She nuzzled herself against him smiling before she fell into a deep sleep.

Left alone Solas could hear Mythal's voice. "A wolf can't hunt alone, Dread Wolf."

Back then, he had listened to her advice like the ramblings of an old hag who talked too much. Now he lay here where once stood his old home. Sharing a fur on the cold hard floor in a dusty bleak room. Yet he wouldn't trade this moment for all the wealth he once possessed.

Why her? Why now? He wondered before he too fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Finally, I finished another part of the story

Sorry, it has taken so long, but life wasn't easy the last couple of months, I had to switch jobs two times and loads of other things happened.

Hopefully, the next couple of months will be more relaxed so that I can pick up my writing again.

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On another note, I rechecked my story and put some minor changes in all the chapters. Mostly spelling and little inconsistencies.

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Enjoy ;)

* * *

 **Chapter 12**

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"Just a little more to the right." together with Iron Bull and a couple of others Solas heaved the big heavy table into the rotunda. He had decided to turn the room into his study. He had convinced Josephine, who managed and oversaw the reconstruction efforts of Skyhold, that it was perfect for his research being so close to the library. What he didn't tell her, that the main reason he had chosen it, was to be accessible to his agents. They had successfully infiltrated the ranks of the Inquisition the last couple of months. Acting as servants, messengers or even spies for Leliana, who had taken her station in the rookery above him. It would be easy for them to pass him reports and messages and have in return his own smuggled out undetected. After all that happened, he couldn't longer rely solely on his dream communications with his key-agents. He needed to get his word out on a larger scale.

Satisfied about his workspace Solas spread out his reports, books, letters and maps. There was much work to be done, things needed to change. He had greatly underestimated Corypheus, one of many miscalculations he made. The defeat and desperation, he had felt after his escape from Haven was a humbling experience and one he couldn't afford to happen again. Also, he had misjudged the people living in this world. A few months ago, he wouldn't have spared a second thought for them in his plans to take down the Veil and restore the world. He had only seen the ignorance and barbarism of lesser people. Now he lived as an apostate amongst them this had changed. He began to see their lives, their joys and sorrows, their determination, their hopes and dreams. He was even starting to form friendships with some of them. It didn't change that what was unavoidable or what must be done, but it was adding weight to the burden he already carried.

His eyes scanned the different maps in front of him. All his knowledge and centuries of experience hadn't prevented his mistakes, but if he had learned one thing during the ages, it was patience. Yes, patience was the key. He needed more information about this world, needed to better understand the different mechanisms, the people, the various groups of power and their potential reactions and threat to his plans. He had underestimated their will to live, to fight. Not that they could prevent the inevitable, but he needed to be several steps ahead of them so he could react faster. But first things first, the threats to the common people should be erased. They shouldn't suffer unnecessarily from the mistakes he had made. They should be able to live relatively peaceful for the time that was left. The Inquisition could fulfil this role as protector and provider, even when this meant to spread the Chantry's doctrine in the process.

Their current policy of supporting the common people suited his plans even more. Elves were, as always, largely overlooked in their support or were even threatened to cooperate. They wouldn't benefit much from the Inquisitions call for justice and freedom, but the message was a strong one. To work and fight against the oppression, to band together in this time of need. Recruitment for his own cause would be ripe for the picking. It was time he learned more about the elves of this era. If Eirlana and some of the other elves he had met were any indication, he had judged them too quickly and harshly after he had awoken.

Also, he needed to study the Veil. What had influenced it over the centuries, its effects on the waking world and the Fade. With the Anchor lost, for now, he needed to study, and process a plan to take the Veil down even without the Anchor. With new determination, Solas took his quill and began to write his orders and new directions.

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Enjoying the fresh evening breeze, Eirlana walked back to Skyhold. She had visited the makeshift clinic outside its walls and had stayed much longer than she planned. On her way up to the fortress, she needed to catch her breath several times. Her body felt drained and weak. It reminded her she needed to recuperate more from her own illness. Taking a short rest, she looked up at the fortress. It had only been two weeks since their arrival, and already it had changed dramatically. A lot of the rubble had been cleared, roofs fixed and a crew of masons was now working feverishly on repairing its walls. Slowly Skyhold turned into a functioning base. The gears of the Inquisition were turning again and wagons with supplies, new recruits and volunteers arrived daily. With newfound determination, everyone was gathering and uniting under the banner of the Inquisition, to fight against the evil Corypheus stood for. Though Eirlana wasn't feeling much of the hope or faith, the others felt. Rather it was the opposite, she was worried how things were developing.

It began the day Ryan was made the Inquisitor, their official leader. They had only been a couple of days in the fortress. Riddled with fever, she leant against Solas to hear Ryan's speech. What he said was not a surprise. He would serve his faith and would lead the Inquisition true to Andraste's teachings and the Chantry's beliefs. It was the reactions of the crowd, their cheers and devotion, that ran as a freezing chill through her. With Ryan's opinion about magic and the heavy presence of templars it already wasn't easy to be a mage within the Inquisition. Now it was known, that they were fighting against an ancient magister, with Tevinter followers and former Circle mages, wielding a magical orb of Elvhen origin. It strengthened and confirmed the prejudice and fear the people had about mages and magic. With the rebellion and the mage-templar war in the background, the future of magic-users and elves looked even bleaker than ever. The path the Inquisition was now on, could lead to a dark future for her and everyone like her. She wasn't alone with her thoughts, she felt Solas stiffen as Ryan spoke. She knew he shared her concerns.

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Walking through the courtyard, Skyhold was settling down for the night. Training sessions ended, weapons were set aside, soldiers went to wash, smiths and workers lay down their tools, women were serving out stew and bread. Greeted by a few people Eirlana made her way to the rotunda. She found Solas at a desk writing, surrounded by papers and opened books. On the edge of the table was a plate of bread and fruit hardly touched. She shook her head and smiled, seeing him so focused, forgetting the world around him. When she walked closer, she saw a templar patrolling the library above them. Keeping an eye on the mages studying there, to keep them safe. She was glad that Adan had banned them from the clinic after she and a few other healers became nervous by their presence. As of yet she and Solas had been spared the honour of their security. It was one of the advantages of being part of the inner circle of the Inquisition.

"Solas, you have been here for hours."

He looked up when Eirlana touched his shoulder lightly, bringing with her the scent of healing herbs and salves. "You were at the clinic this whole time?" he said concerned.

"We both need to watch our working habits." she smiled. "What are you doing?" she leant forward, studying the map with different markers and dates written on it.

Solas watched her, her eyes shining with interest. To his relief she looked a lot better, the dark circles under her eyes had vanished, her pale skin had regained some of its colour. But he couldn't help but feeling worried, the memory of him waking up next to her shivering was still fresh.

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It was in the early morning when Solas awoke. Only a few noises could be heard outside, most people yet asleep after their exhausting long journey to Skyhold. Half asleep, he closed his eyes and turned around to find a more comfortable position. He could feel Eirlana lying curled up next to him.

Memories of what happened between them last night flooded his mind. With mixed feelings of warmth and apprehension, he opened his eyes. What had he done?

In an instant, he was wide awake when he noticed her shivering. Touching her forehead, he felt she was warm with fever. Her breath sounded raspy, her lungs struggling for air. Draping his blanket around her to keep her warmer, he rushed outside to get fresh water and medicine.

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"One moment Chuckles. I need to have a word with you."

Solas met Varric at the gates. Feeling irritated about the delay, he snapped. "Not now! Varric."

Varric raised his eyebrows, surprised by Solas' tone. "What's wrong?"

Not ten minutes later Varric and Iron Bull were helping him cleaning out the room, collecting elfroot and firewood. Solas was grateful for their help. Eirlana in the meanwhile sat huddled in a corner, a little drowsy and coughing. They made quite a racket, throwing rubble and broken furniture down into the gardens. Dorian, who had slept next door, looked around the corner, wondering what all this bustling was about. It was **far** too early in his opinion.

"Excuse me. May I suggest getting her out into the sun. With the dust you are whirling up, no wonder the poor thing is coughing her lungs out." Dorian waved his hand in front of his face to make a point.

Reluctantly Solas saw him taking Eirlana outside. He didn't know if he could trust this newest addition to the Inquisition.

It took them only two hours, to make the room livable. It was scrubbed clean, blankets aired out, a brew of fresh elfroot was cooling off, and Eirlana lay bundled up on the field bed Varric had arranged. They were all dusty and sweaty from their task.

Varric grunted and wiped off his forehead. "Five sovereigns for the one who can get me a warm bath."

"I can throw you in the snow." Iron Bull suggested with a grin.

"You Qunari have clearly another definition of warm Tiny. It explains why you run around half naked all the time."

Iron Bull played with his eyebrows and flexed his muscles. "Trust me not everyone is complaining about it." He gave Dorian suggestive look.

Dorian looked quickly away muttering "Barbarian" under his breath.

A warm bath? The dwarf deserved another credit Solas thought. That was exactly what Eirlana needed. "Gentlemen, if you please would follow me."

Varric and Iron Bull looked at each other puzzled. Bull shrugged before following Solas down into the courtyard. They walked into one of the smaller buildings filled with rubble.

"Don't tell me you want to have this cleaned out as well." Varric sighed.

Climbing over a fallen beam, Solas found what he was looking for. "Not entirely master Tethras, not yet." He tried to open a rather large door at the far end of the room. "We need to get this open."

Iron Bull shoved some of the clutter out of the way. "Here, let me try." He pushed and pulled at the door with little effect. "Do you really want to get this open?" Solas nodded. Iron Bull scratched the base of his horn. "Alright. Wait here, I get the Chargers." With their help, the path to the door was quickly cleared, and the dwarf Rocky had an **excellent** idea for opening the door.

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Left behind Dorian and Eirlana got curious where the others had gone to. They went looking and found them walking in and out of the small building. Sitting down on the wall of the upper courtyard they watched them. Suddenly there was an explosion, and big clouds of dust blasted out of the damaged building. Alarmed people came running from all sides, some had drawn their weapons fearing another attack. Varric, Solas, Iron Bull and the Chargers came outside coughing, completely covered in grey-white dust. The Chargers were laughing and cheering, giving Rocky pets on his back, whirling even more dust into the air. It was a very amusing scene.

"Now that's a sight." Dorian started laughing, followed by Eirlana and several soldiers around them.

Solas spotted her laughing and coughing, wiping tears from her eyes. It was the first time he saw her laughing so freely, and it was the most beautiful thing he had seen in ages. In a few paces, he was beside her, pulling her up into his arms.

"Solas no, stay away from me." she shrieked joyful, trying to free herself from his dusty grasp.

Iron Bull nudged Varric. "Told you, they just needed some time."

"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!" Cassandra shouted. Everything fell silent around her. She stared venomously at Varric and the Chargers still standing in front of the building.

Varric raised his hands in defence. "Don't look at me Seeker. I have no clue. You have to ask Chuckles."

Her eyes immediately shot in Solas' direction.

"I can explain." he took Eirlana by her hand. "If you would follow me."

What was left of the door, hung on the warped hinges. Behind it, stairs let down into the mountain. Solas summoned a light to show the way. After a few steps, they could hear running water. The stairs ended in an open cavern with a small underground lake, fed by an underground stream. The excess water spilt out over the edge, creating a waterfall. Next to it, lay several stone pools, filled with steaming hot water bubbling from a hot spring. Structures of several baths filled the cave, along with mouldy wooden screens, broken pipes, rotted benches and moth-eaten curtains.

"I'll be damned." Varric broke the silence. Grinning, he took his pouch. "Here Chuckles a deal is a deal." and pressed five sovereigns in his hand.

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Leaning over the table, Eirlana saw the reports of rifts discovered. She studied the map where Solas had marked them down, several were circled, others were connected by lines. Solas had marked them with dates and short descriptions. History books lay open with several bookmarks between the pages. As far as she could tell, he was trying to link historical events to the locations where the rifts had opened. It looked like there was a connection between great events in the past and the appearance of the rifts. Leaning closer, she traced their travels, marked by a path of closed rifts. Written down, the scale of the problem looked enormous. The ones they had closed a mere drop on a hot stone. How many more were there or hadn't even been discovered yet?

"There are so many of them." she mumbled.

She traced one of the lines. "Solas I can help you with these."

She looked over her shoulder and saw his mind had wandered off. "Solas?"

He blinked a few times before she had his attention.

"I am sorry." a smile formed on his lips. "Your presence is distracting."

The warm look he gave her made her body tingle, a slight blush crept onto her cheeks. Solas leant forward, trapping her in his arms and pulled her on his lap. He was relieved her health had dramatically improved with rest and care, but he couldn't help worrying. Her body and physique were so different from his own. "What did you say vhenan?" he kissed her shoulder.

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Eirlana needed a moment, cursing at herself for the fear and panic she felt as he pulled her into his arms. She exhaled and let her body relax against his warm chest.

"I said that I can help you with these dates. You are going to investigate those locations in the Fade, aren't you? You are trying to find a cause why these rifts are appearing in these places."

Solas' eyes shone with admiration, during the day others had criticised his work. Dismissed the significance of plotting out the past against the locations of the rifts. They questioned why it was relevant or that they just needed to focus on the closing of the existing rifts, whatever the cause. He felt pride that she understood what he was trying to do. She was so much more than he could ever hoped for, her spirit bright, her instincts sharp, her intelligence shining in this dark world. Her very existence seemed impossible, yet here she was defying everything he thought he knew about this era.

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Solas stretched his neck, brushing the tip of his nose against her sensitive ear shell. Eirlana inhaled sharply at the sudden contact and shied away, shivering lightly. She turned her head towards him, smiling shyly. Her small nervous gestures, the warm look in her eyes, her tongue wetting her lips, they were calling out to Solas, luring him. He slid his fingers into her hair, curling them around the back of her head and pulled her closer. His lips graced over hers giving her time to pull away. When she didn't resist his touch he captured her lips again, kissing her tenderly. His tongue darted out, teasing her lips. Timidly Eirlana parted them, giving him access. Solas let out a soft groan and deepened the kiss, feeling her warmth, tasting her sweetness.

Eirlana's heart soared by his sudden affection, her body shuddered as their kiss deepened. Aside from soft touches, they hadn't done much after they acknowledged their feelings for each other. His sudden passion took her by surprise. She could feel the vibrations in his chest as he softly groaned, it made her hum in response. She enjoyed the tenderness of his touch. It felt strange, yet natural, not forced upon or compulsory demanded from her. It was her own free will that gave and took.

For a moment Solas forgot all his troubles. He knew it was selfish of him, but he couldn't resist the feelings she ignited in him. She was too warm, too sweet, too bright. His passion for her was growing, it washed over him and made him feel alive like never before.

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The doors to the rotunda burst open with a crash. Startled Solas and Eirlana broke apart, catching their breaths. Varric stormed inside, muttering curses, looking angry and grim. They both looked puzzled at each other, they hadn't seen Varric so mad before. Freeing herself from Solas' arms, Eirlana stood up. "Varric? What's wrong?"

Varric took a deep breath, calming himself down. "It's nothing." he frowned. "I just have survived a pissed off Cassandra and his Inquisitorialness." His voice was loaded with malice. "Damn it! Why of all the things that could have knocked at our door it had to be Corypheus?"

For a moment Varric was silent, hoping he hadn't just made his biggest mistake in his life. When he looked up and saw their worried looks, he let out a deep sigh. Judging by their stares, he had to be a sore sight for eyes, but that wasn't important at the moment.

"Hey, are you guys free this evening?" he asked them with a sad smile. "I want to have a few drinks with Hawke, and I could use some friendly company before he has to take off again."

Solas had heard rumours and grand stories about Hawke and his dealings with Corypheus. This could be valuable information he needed. He nodded towards Eirlana. "Varric, of course, we will join you."

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A few hours later Solas and Eirlana entered one of the empty towers. Varric had managed to change it into a cosy gathering. Two braziers were burning in the room providing a comfortable warmth. Crates and blankets lay spread out in a circle serving as tables and chairs. Iron Bull and some of the Chargers already had opened a keg of beer and were passing around the drinks. Varric sat next to a man that had to be Hawke. He was a broad-shouldered man with a dark, full beard and messy hair. His bright blue eyes were sharp but twinkling with curiosity as they joined the circle.

"Hawke, these are Solas and Eirlana. A couple of not so crazy mages." Varric introduced them. Solas felt a small sting. If they knew the truth about him, they would name him differently.

Hawke's face was marked by scars, small furrows and wrinkles, there was a lasting sadness and weariness in his eyes as he smiled at them. Evidently, he hadn't lived an easy life.

"Welcome." he greeted them with a warm voice. "Any friend of Varric is a friend of mine."

It didn't take long before laughter and talking filled the room. Varric and Hawke telling stories of their adventures and misadventures. How they had met, the first time Hawke visited the Blooming Rose, how they tricked slavers, smugglers and templars, the crazy bar fights and how often Fenris won at Wicked Grace. Varric told Hawke how Eirlana almost stripped Cullen out of his knickers at her first game. Hawke couldn't believe it, and Eirlana started blushing fiercely with everyone's attention on her. Iron Bull and Krem jumped in on the tale, describing in great detail Cullen's awkward moment.

Hawke had to catch his breath from laughter. "I would pay to see that." he wheezed.

"Oh, I am planning to lure Curly into another game. Just wait and let me work my magic." Varric grinned.

As the hours went by the Chargers left, and the talks turned more serious. Feeling sleepy Eirlana leant against Solas, enjoying his warmth. She listened as they talked about Corypheus. How Hawke had found him, bound by some sort of bloodmagic. How he seemed crazy and disoriented, thinking that it was still the era of the Imperium. How they had killed him after a long battle, leaving his cold death body in the underground prison.

Solas listened thoughtfully. It was troublesome Corypheus had survived that encounter and the explosion of magical energy at the conclave. His mind raced over the possibilities, his survival could point to one thing, and he hoped he was wrong. He had always assumed the taint and the magical stasis Corypheus was kept in had prolonged his life. Now it was possible the crazed magister had uncovered some form of immortality. A corrupted one, judging by the state of his mind and body. The effects could be unpredictable and potentially unstable. What kind of foul magic had mankind developed out of the ruins of the People? And how was it all connected?

Dawn arrived too soon and with it, Hawke's departure. He would scout ahead for the Inquisitor and contact his friend within the Wardens. A part of Solas regretted that Hawke was leaving. He wanted to know more about the magic that had bound Corypheus and the method of his imprisonment. Hopefully, he would have another chance to talk to him. Aside from the information, Hawke's observant, easygoing and humorous nature made for a pleasant change compared to the many other humans he had to deal with. Hawke rode out at first light, after giving Varric one last bear hug.

.

The Inquisitor and his advisors hustled the next two days, to get everything ready for their departure to Crestwood. It was decided Solas would join the team. Cassandra insisted on bringing a healer after Ryan had returned wounded from a scout mission a few days earlier. Blackwall and Sera would also join them. Eirlana would stay behind this time, giving her more time to recover.

While Varric complained, he wasn't going, Solas wasn't thrilled to go. The choice of companionship would make this a tiring experience. He also felt reluctant to leave Eirlana behind, and that worried him. His primal possessive instincts were resurfacing more rapidly than he expected. Especially after he overheard Cullen talking with her the other day, asking after her well-being. He recognised the look Cullen gave her, and it made him want to snarl as jealousy swept over him.

'Back off! She is mine!' the wolf in him growled. He was startled by his own thoughts.

'How is she yours?' He argued with himself. They had kissed, so what? He had kissed so many others in the past. Women had come and gone in his life with the passing of time. Often he didn't even notice their departure. This jealousy and possessiveness he felt was dangerous and selfish. Even if he cared about her, he had to control his emotions. He couldn't afford to act impulsively, to much was at stake. His role within the Inquisition was a calculated one. If he started to act on his true feelings, all would be in peril. It would only complicate his plans in the long run. He sighed inwardly, he really was too used to do what he wanted. Maybe being away from her for a time was for the best. It would give him the opportunity to recollect himself, regain control of his emotions and refocus on that what was important.

.

It was early in the morning when Solas and the others were preparing to depart.

"Solas?"

He turned around. "Vhenan."

Eirlana stepped closer and took hold of his hands. "Have a safe journey, please be careful." she leaned towards his ear and whispered in elven. "And good luck with them." hinting at his companions.

Solas huffed a laugh at her remark. He brushed her cheek before he pressed a kiss on her forehead.

"I will vhenan. Promise me to get well."

"Bleeeeeeeh. Can you please stop with all this mushy stuff, mister elven glory?" Sera interrupted them.

Ignoring Sera, Solas pressed his forehead against Eirlana's and let out a small sigh before he got on his horse and followed the others out the gates. This would be a couple of long weeks.

Eirlana watched them until they disappeared into the distance. It would be a new experience spending her time without Solas. Aside from her feelings for him, his presence and guidance had become an anchor in her life. A life that still felt strange, even after all these months. He made her feel safe and secure in this world. Looking around, she felt vulnerable, alone with her opinions and views. Shaking off her discomfort she walked towards the library, she needed to become stronger and learn to live her life on her own feet.


	13. Chapter 13

I have decided to no longer fully translate the conversations spoken in Elvish. The sentences were simply becoming too complex and long.

I will continue to write those parts in Italic and maybe in the future, I will have enough time to attempt to translate them.

* * *

 **Chapter 13**

.

With a sigh Solas untied his wet footwrappings, he wrinkled his nose when stinky mud fell from them to the ground. It had been a long and exhausting day. His clothes were damp and filthy after spending the whole day in the rain, roaming through what was left of old Crestwood and its caverns below. The stench of mud, rotting kelp and dead fish had followed them where ever they went in the once submerged village. The smell would linger in their clothes for several days, and for once he was glad he didn't have his long dreadlocks any longer. It would have been a pain to clean them; it had its advantages that he was now bald.

"Iiiiiieeeuww." Sera shrieked by the campfire, followed by the deep laughter of Black Wall and Ryan, Cassandra let out one of her disagreeing growls. Groaning Solas massaged his forehead, the headache; he had nursed for days was returning. Weary he studied his companions sitting around the fire.

They had arrived at Crestwood, after days of travelling through bad weather, only to discover the land was plagued by the undead and demons. The source wasn't hard to guess, with the light of a great rift shimmering under the surface of the lake. Sadly, what started as a straightforward mission to meet Hawke and the Warden soon turned into a lengthy ordeal.

.

Dealing with the bandits occupying the local Keep was relatively easy. Soon they had cleaned it out and set up a new base for the Inquisition. After locating the dam controls they drained parts of the lake, revealing what was left of old Crestwood. For Solas, the real challenge began as soon as they set foot in the thick mud of the lake bottom. To his delight, they encountered spirits wandering around like they once used to. The rift under the lake appeared to be big enough for them to pass through without suffering its corrupting forces. Fascinated Solas stepped forward before he was blocked by Ryan, Cassandra and Blackwall, who had drawn their weapons.

"That will not be necessary!" Solas quickly intervened. "They will do us no harm unless we provoke them. It is fortunate that they were not corrupted by the forces of the rift."

Sera let out a small shriek behind him when the spirit faded out of focus for a moment and disappeared. "Where did it go? Piss! They should just bugger off into your stupid Fade thing."

"You think that they are fortunate?" Ryan huffed. "You spent to much time with them. They shouldn't be here; they don't belong here."

"Spirits are as much part of this world than any other creature." Solas tried to explain patiently.

"They failed the Maker. He created the Veil to separate us from them. To keep us safe."

'So I am your Maker.' Solas thought, but swallowed his remark and followed the others into what was left of the once sunken village. By the time they reached the rift Solas mood had darkened. Navigating the dark, damp tunnels under the lake with a skittish Sera, yelling and cursing whenever a spirit appeared, and a nervous Ryan, who decided to quote Chantry phrases to protect them, had worn him down. Luckily he somehow managed to prevent any killing or harm to an innocent spirit.

Sitting in front of his tent Solas let out a sigh; tomorrow would bring another long day. Having had enough of his companions, he decided to retire. Hanging his coat out to dry, he heard a slap, followed by Sera's colourful cussing. At least he would have one satisfaction today he thought. He had warded his tent against the numerous mosquitoes the lake produced. He hadn't offered the others the same kind of protection. Hearing another slap, he slipped into his tent with a satisfying smirk.

.

Lying down Solas wondered, not for the first time, how different his day would have been if Eirlana had been here. He could just imagine her delight at meeting spirits outside of the Fade. He missed her, more than he thought was possible. He longed for her presence, the conversations, her smile. Turning to his side his hand wandered to the empty space next to him. Staring at his hand, he let out another sigh; he also missed her physically, her warmth, her soft touches. Annoyed he balled his hand into a fist. This craving he felt for one single person was new to him, and it worried him. Even with his partners in the past, his mind had always wandered, drifting away, plotting, planning, scheming. Now it was the other way around. His thoughts were pulled towards her, wondering about her reaction, her thoughts, her expression. He pulled his hand back grumbling in frustration. He was acting like some lovestruck teenager. Angry with himself he dove into the Fade, seeking out his friends. They would help him to focus, their mindsets not cluttered by worldly distractions.

.

The setting sun turned the gathering clouds in a dark crimson red. It would start to snow soon. Eirlana hurried towards the library before she went to bed. Hugging her book, she wondered how Solas and the others were doing. It had already been a week since they had left Skyhold. Stepping onto the balcony above the great hall, she saw Vivienne lounging in one of her decadent chairs reading a letter. A messenger waited next to her. She noticed Eirlana as she came closer, giving her a calculating look.

Eirlana didn't know what to think of her. Even though Vivienne was here to help, her air of superiority and decadence was making her anxious. It reminded her too much of her old master.

Dismissing the messenger, Vivienne smiled politely at her. "My dear. I was just thinking about you. Please take a seat." she gestured towards the chair across of her.

Reluctantly Eirlana sat down feeling uneasy under Viviennes assessing stare.

"I apologise, we haven't had earlier a chance to converse. Tell me how are you adapting? I can only imagine it must be quite a change after that awful time you spent in Tevinter."

Eirlana didn't know what to say. It confused her that most people only focused on her time spent in Tevinter. Almost no one spoke to her about what she had suffered at the hands of the rogue templar and his companions. What they did to her during the months she was their prisoner was far worse than anything she had endured in Tevinter.

"Some things are still new to me." she answered politely. "It is sometimes difficult, but I am getting used to it." Nervous she started to bite her lip. She didn't like the topic Vivienne wanted to discus.

"I must say I was surprised when I heard of your background. Tell me, my dear, did you get any form of teaching in Tevinter?"

Eirlana shook her head.

Vivienne narrowed her eyes, studying her. "May I ask how did you gain your skills in healing-magic?"

"I... I just feel what to do." Eirlana answered carefully, in part that was the basis of her skills. What she had learned from the spirits was to use the energies of the Fade freely. To feel the magic and follow it's flow, rather then force it into a shape. In truth, if it weren't for the Veil she would have a much easier time to practise her magic here.

"To achieve what you do without any form of supervision is impressive. It seems you are gifted with natural skills. Tell me have you ever wondered how much you could grow with a formal education?"

Eirlana knew she meant hers and the circle's teachings. "I am still learning and Solas helps me a lot."

"Yes, I imagine he has done a fair enough job so far, but wouldn't it be better to seek out additional people with knowledge. It would be a waste of your talents not to seek out the proper guidance."

The tone of the conversation was slowly shifting less friendly.

"I am happy with how things are at the moment."

"Then tell me what is your opinion on the dangers of the Fade."

On her guard, Eirlana asked. "The dangers of the Fade, what do you mean?"

"You must know that spirits are dangerous and full of temptation and malice."

"I find the Fade not more dangerous than the waking world. It has its own occupants, its own rules to follow, just like this one."

"And you know these rules? Then you are aware spirits cannot be trusted. They are vicious creatures seeking out any form of weakness. They exploit any chance they can get. You would do well if you acknowledge this and strengthen your defences."

"I have learned to defend myself at a young age."

"How often I have heard those words from young mages. Never underestimate them, demons are dangerous, they are a destructive force praying on any mage."

"Demons are powerful and cunning; it is their desire to seek a path to our world. It is tragic when they take over a host, but it also part of their nature. They are predators, if you enter their territory you risk being eaten."

"I see why you get along so splendidly, with our resident Fade expert. Do tell me what is your brilliant plan if you encounter one."

"Don't be prey."

"Tsssssss." Vivienne hissed. It was obvious she was displeased with her answers.

"Thank you for your concern. Have a good evening." Eirlana stood up and left.

.

A little irritated Eirlana went into the library. Ignoring the stationed templar, she walked hastily to the shelves the furthest away from him. Walking along the railing, her eyes wandered to Solas' empty desk below her. She missed him.

"He will be back you know." Dorian sat in a comfortable chair in a corner of the library, a book in one hand and swirling a glass of brandy in the other.

"I know." she gave him a small smile.

"You miss him don't you?"

Eirlana nodded and began to put her book back and started to look for a new one.

"The choice of good reading material is somewhat limited I am afraid." Dorian stood up and took a book from the shelve, filled with poetry. "I can recommend this one."

"Thank you."

A sister walked past them, giving Dorian a dark look before she walked hastily away. Outside wet snow began to whip against the window.

"Just great. Cold, wet, distrusting ungrateful dogpeople." Dorian started to mutter to himself. "Why did I even bother to come here?"

"Why did you come?" Eirlana asked, curious about his motives.

Dorian regarded her for a moment. "You may find this strange, but I care for my homeland. It may be hard to understand for you southerners."

She bit her lip looking down at her feet. "I... I am not from the south."

"Of course you wouldn't..." Dorian broke off his sentence. "You are not? Then where...?"

"Ego hic servire. Dominus." she whispered, looking hesitant at him.

For a moment Dorian stared at her, shocked. "Oh."

"I lived in Tevinter almost my whole life."

"Then you were a...?"

Eirlana nodded looking at her feet again. It was somewhat different to admit she had been a slave to one who knew how Tevinter was really like.

Slightly uncomfortable Dorian searched for the right words. "I am sorry. I am aware of the treatment elves can get in my homeland. Know we of the Pavus family have always treated our slaves decent. I know some of my countrymen are power-hungry madmen. That's why I'm here. To stop history from repeating itself."

She felled relieved Dorian sounded sincere. "That's why we all are here."

They fell silent, both not knowing what to say.

"Thank you for the book. I will read it." Eirlana broke the awkward moment.

"Yes, maybe we can discuss it after you have finished it." he smiled at her.

"I would like that." she returned the smile. "Have a good night."

.

The grove was peaceful and quiet. A spring splashed calmly into the dark deep waters of the pond. It was surrounded by lush green ferns and boulders covered with thick mosses. Solas sat on a small bank staring at the water, the serenity of the Fade felt like a soothing balm after the stressful day.

"Your mind is drifting."

Solas blinked as he heard the voice of Wisdom next to him. His thoughts had wandered off while listening to her. "I am sorry, friend."

"Don't be. It gladdens me."

"Why?" he asked her.

"Your mind is anchored in the present, not longer drifting solely to what once was." Wisdom waved over the pool, conjuring Eirlana's face in the water. "She is in your thoughts."

Solas had to swallow. "A small diversion, nothing more." He knew his growing attachment was making an already difficult situation more complicated. It was a danger to him and his task.

"Why do you lie to yourself?"

He had to smirk, Eirlana was really becoming his weakness if his lies were getting this obvious.

"Why?"

Puzzled, Solas looked at his old friend. "Why what?"

"Why is she a weakness? Fighting for others has always made you stronger in the past."

Solas doubted it was fighting for others that had made him strong. Determination, purpose and self-interest had always been his strengths. Heroism and self-sacrifice was never a part of him. He had always acted on his own wishes and desires, plotted and schemed to better himself, to show his strength and defeat his enemies. He did what he thought was right. Even after he decided to oppose the other Evanuris, he had been cocky, confident in his superiority, a show off. Too late he recognised the dangers of his actions. In the end, his hand was forced and many had suffered the consequences, including the Fade and its occupants. Many of his close friends in the Fade had ceased to exist.

With a heavy heart, he turned to Wisdom.

"What of the other spirits? Please tell me old friend. What do you see?"

"Spirits, separated from the waking world thousands of years. Like the waking people, we have forgotten how it once was. Being apart for ages, we don't remember the harmony our worlds were once in. We feel the wall weakening, falling apart. We are getting restless, pressing against it, curious, almost touching. Our longing draws us closer, yet we are unable to reach, to understand. Others grow angry, seeing the other side as a danger. They want to protect, to preserve. We are as the waking people, unable to grasp that what is unavoidable."

It pained Solas to hear what he already knew. What he had done to the realm he loved. "There was no other choice." his voice was loaded with grief, the burden he carried, the countless lives he altered.

Wisdom placed a hand on his shoulder. "Some things once set in motion are unstoppable like the passing of time. The Veil is slowly dissolving, whether for good or worse it has to be seen. Some choices once made can never be changed. You made your choice long ago, and you have to live with its consequences." She slowly stood up and drifted away, leaving Solas to think. Before she disappeared, she turned around. "Do you know the beauty of choices?"

Feeling miserable Solas looked at her. "No."

"You can always make new ones."

.

After Wisdom had left him, Solas began to wander the Fade, brooding about her words. He paid no attention where he went until he suddenly heard child-laughter. Looking up, he saw Eirlana. It hadn't been his intention to intrude in her dreams. He knew he should leave before she would notice him, but he couldn't bring himself to it.

Eirlana stood at the side of a small room, several wisps floating around her. The room was scarcely furnished, and everything looked shabby and poor. A rough wooden table with two chairs stood in the centre, in the corner was one bed with coarse blankets, a few shelves at the wall held chipped and cracked kitchenware and some folded clothes.

A skinny woman stood at the sink preparing something. Solas couldn't make out her face for her head wasn't formed, but her hunched back, patched clothing and rough bony hands told of a life of hard labour. She looked worn even without a face. The child-laughter came closer, and a small elven boy ran into the room. He was thin and poorly clad, but he looked lively with his bronze skin, rosy cheeks and short dark brown curls. He looked like he was three or four years old. Behind him entered a young skimpy elven girl. She looked a little older, maybe six years old, and had auburn hair in big unruly curls. Her skin was rich bronze, and her big brown eyes shone full of life. Her bare feet were dirty from dust, and she wore a simple dress, patched and repaired in countless places.

Laughing and shrieking in joy, they chased each other around the table, until the boy started to wheeze and cough. He fell and started to cry. The woman turned around and, judging by her body language, spoke harshly to the children.

.

The whole scene did last only for a few seconds when it froze, and Eirlana turned around. "Solas?"

Solas walked closer. "Vhenan. I apologise, I didn't mean to intrude."

One of the wisps started to hum and hovered in between them, shining brightly. She laughed at it. "No, it's alright. Go along now." It swirled around her once before drifting away with the others.

Solas looked at her curious, raising an eyebrow.

Smiling, Eirlana stepped closer to him. "He wanted to know if he should zap you."

"Zap me?"

"Yes, sorry. They are a little protective sometimes."

"You can understand wisps?" He could hardly believe it. Wisps were the faintest of spirits, not able to absorb much of their surroundings. They were curious creatures but often misunderstood. If they weren't summoned and bound by magic, peaceful encounters with them were rare. They often lashed out when they felt threatened and as far as he knew they weren't able to communicate.

"It's not like I really understand them, it's more like..." She pondered for a while. "It is hard to describe, it's like I can feel their intent, their thoughts."

Not for the first time Solas was in awe of her abilities. He had always thought himself an expert of the Fade and its spirits. Even back in Arlathan not many others could match his vast knowledge about the realm. Without it, it would have been impossible for him to create the Veil. Know he realised his knowledge had its own limitations. He had studied and learned to use the Fade, to shape it and draw from its unlimited power and possibilities. Hearing Eirlana describe her interaction, she understood the Fade on another level. She had been thought by the Fade itself, learned its workings directly from the spirits themselves. Her excessive exposure from a young age made her interpretations and instincts a second nature. It was more pure and in a way better then his, not burdened by generations of theories and teachings thought by other magic users.

.

Eirlana looked excited at him. "You really are a dreamer, like the dreamers of the past. To be able to visit me here in my own dreams."

"I learned through the knowledge shared by spirits and by seeking out different memories, the ability to slip into someone's dream." The lies and half-truths rolled smoothly of Solas' tongue. It was second nature to him. "I must admit that in comparison with the true dreamers of Arlathan, my own skills are a mere shadow of the powers they must have wielded." It stung he had to lie to her, deep down he wished he could tell her the truth. To tell her that she was right, but he couldn't risk it. Too much was at stake. Not wanting to linger on the subject, he focussed back at the dream behind her. "Who are they?"

Eirlana turned back to the room behind her. "That is my little brother and me, and what faint memories I have left of my mother."

Solas could almost feel the sadness and the hurt in her voice. Seeing the child, he could hardly believe they were the same person. They looked so different with the darker skin, auburn hair, little freckles around the nose and those radiant brown eyes. "This is you?"

"It is hard to believe isn't it." she smiled sadly. "The lyrium, experiments and rituals did more than just erase my memories. They changed me."

The memory began to move again. The little girl sat down in front of the coughing and crying boy; small colourful butterfly-like lights sprang from her fingertips. The boy was calming down and started to smile and laugh again, trying to grab the lights with his tiny hands. There was a crash of a pan, food spilt to the ground as the mother stood in shock."

.

"That was one of my first spells I ever cast in the open." Eirlana's voice sounded detached as she summoned the same butterflies in her hand. "I loved my brother dearly. He was very sick."

For a while, she felt silent staring at the frozen dream. The butterflies slowly disappeared.

"I just wanted to make him happy." She whispered. She swallowed hard before she could continue. "As far as I can remember my mother brought me in front of the Laetan, a magic user not attached to any great family, the next day and sold me."

"She sold you?"

"We were poor. With my brother sick it was the only way for my mother to get any money. Not that there was any other choice, my magic would have been found out sooner or later. Better she could profit from it before I was stolen away by her master. Not that I understood it at that time, I was still a child. All I knew my mother abandoned me and left me at the mercy of a strange man." Eirlana shivered slightly and wrapped her arms around herself protectively. Solas stepped behind her, wrapping her in his arms, holding her.

"I don't even know if they are still alive or if selling me helped them at all."

He held her tighter against him. "I am so sorry." he whispered.

"I am not even sure if this is an accurate memory or something I have made up over the years." Eirlana could feel tears burning in her eyes. Closing them she leaned against Solas, resting her head on his shoulder. His presence calmed her down. "I miss you." she whispered

Feeling his own emotions stir Solas squeezed his eyes shut. "I miss you also." he admitted.

His voice sounded strained. Eirlana turned around in his arms studying his face. "You look tired."

"I am." he sighed. "It has been a long day. We encountered spirits in the waking world; they had drifted through a large tear."

"Really. What did they say? How did they find our world? The Veil must have been very thin or damaged for them to remain their form for so long."

Solas saw her eyes sparkle with excitement, he had been right. His day would have been very different with her at his side.

.

The tent was warm when Solas woke up. Half expecting to see Eirlana, lying next to him curled up in her blanket, he opened his eyes. Of course, he was alone, and he cursed himself when he felt the disappointment and the longing. He hadn't meant to seek her out, but unconsciously his mind had drawn him into her dream. Their lives were intertwining more and more with every step he took. It was dangerous for both of them. As Wisdom had pointed out, he made his choice long ago, and there was no turning back. His path was set, and yet the thought that he had to leave her in the future made his heart ache.

During the day Solas' mood darkened even more after they found Venatori at an ancient elven grove. The documents they carried indicated that they were searching the ruins for something. It confirmed what his agents already told him, that there was an increased interest in old elven locations. Once more others tried to steal and enrich themselves from what was left of the bones of the People. It worried Solas, for he knew what could have survived until this age, and it was nothing that should fall into the wrong hands. He needed to contact his agents tonight, to hasten the recovery of specific objects.

.

When they finally reached the cave to meet up with Hawke, Solas was surprised to see the Warden Hawke spoke of was Loghain. He had seen him in memories of the Fade. How he fought for Fereldan, a Hero, only to be disgraced by a decision he made at Ostagar. One decision had doomed this person's name forever. It was ironic Solas thought, just as himself, history would remember him a traitor. His noble deeds overshadowed and forgotten.

Solas kept to himself, listening quietly as they discussed the Grey Wardens. It wasn't a surprise, his companions were appalled that his noble group of protectors had fallen under Corypheus corruption, like the templars before them. As if the Wardens hadn't already been corrupted for centuries.

The discussion about the calling, however, peaked his interest. The song that every blighted creature heard including the Wardens had somehow been triggered by Corypheus. They hadn't had any reports of increased darkspawn activity anywhere so this calling was explicitly triggered within the Wardens only, which upon itself was fascinating.

Solas glanced at the reports Loghain had gathered and was surprised by their meagre contents. It was incomprehensible that the Wardens, who should have frontier knowledge about the blight and the calling, seemed rather ignorant about the subject. Instead, they believed most of the Chantry's teachings, that it was divine punishment that created the first of the darkspawn. Teachings that were flawed and drenched with falsehoods. This lack of information would only heighten the fear and anxiety in the affected Wardens. If they would really try to attempt a blood ritual as Loghain feared, they would quickly fall prey to whatever they summoned.

.

After they left Hawke and Loghain, the others discussed the situation with the Wardens and the calling further. Solas kept to himself, not that any of his companions did seem to mind. That the Wardens were compromised was another problem they had to face. Somehow he could respect the resourcefulness of Corypheus for having infiltrated yet another major organisation of Thedas. By triggering the calling, he had the Wardens in a panic and could be easily manipulated. Solas couldn't comprehend that the Wardens after five Blights and thousands of years still believed that the Blight was a form of divine punishment. It was ludicrous. It was the easy way out to explain something that was far more complex.

With creating the Veil he had done far more than imprisoning his brethren, he had cut off any form of free travel between two realms. He had confined the spirits to the Fade, he had trapped them. The more powerful demons among them would have sought other ways into this world. They reached out to the humans and anyone who would listen, whispering dark secrets and promises of great power. It didn't take long before the first eager servants appeared to please their new masters, performing rituals and sacrifices to strengthen them.

Solas wasn't too sure what exactly had happened when the Veil was ripped open by powerful magic. At that time he was still deep in uthenera, weak from spending almost all of his power. The Chantry's version was in part correct, the magisters attempted to breach the Veil and entered the Fade physically. In their attempt, they most likely came in contact with one of the powerful Void barriers he had created to imprison the Evanuris. When the magisters returned, they brought the maddening darkening plague of the Void with them, the Blight.

More mysterious was the connection between the Blight and the Archdemons. That they were old gods was laughable, Solas had never found any trace of a god. The answer was far more simple, they look like dragons, so they are dragons, powerful Ancient dragons from his time. Like the Elvhen, the dragons of old had a deep connection with the Fade, and like the Elvhen they had fallen victim by his actions. Cut off from their source of power some of them would have fallen into a deep hibernation. What he didn't know was how the dragons were affected by the Blight. It could be possible that the first Archdemon was awakened by the brief reconnection with the Fade and fallen prey to the infective nature of the Void. Unlike the dragons from this age, they were far more powerful and intelligent. The description of the calling and the song blighted creatures heard sounded like the connection the Ancient dragons used to communicate with their brood and offspring. It was possible the blighted creatures sought out the hibernated dragons for guidance and focus. The infected dragons, in turn, would use the power of the blight to reclaim the territories they once controlled.

That the dragons were rising again in this era, was another indication the Veil was weakening. It was a strong possibility that more and more powerful dragons would emerge, and Solas could only hope that they wouldn't be infected. The increase in activity amongst the dragon kind was already felt throughout Thedas. Even in the few places they had visited they had seen these majestic beasts and their brood. The world was trying to regain the balance he had destroyed, and he had to prepare for the chaos that came with it.

"Solas! You're falling behind." Cassandra called out to him.

"It's the Veil, it is Veil-y here or something." Sera had to laugh hard at her own joke.

Solas hastened towards the others. "Apologies, Seeker."

.

Icy snow blew cold and wet in their faces as they rode up the mountains towards Skyhold. It didn't take long before they were drenched and chilled to the bone. Not wanting to set up another camp Ryan decided not to rest, but ride into the night to reach the fortress. Solas didn't complain, after days on the road he wanted nothing more than to get some rest. Rest from Ryan's short-sighted and docile views of the Chantry and escape from the mindless banter and ridicule of Sera and Blackwall. Ignoring the cold, he steered his horse to follow the rest.

It was way past midnight when they finally rode across the drawbridge. Not lingering Solas shouldered his pack and walked silently through the great hall and up the stairs. It was deserted except for ambassador Josephine and a guest. On the balcony, he paused for a moment when he heard Ryan loudly welcoming the guest. Solas' mood didn't improve when he heard Josephine introduced the guest as a templar and a teacher. Of course, it would be a templar, he thought, what better path to walk for the blessed hero of Andraste. Moody, he marched to his quarters and briskly opened the door.

.

"Solas!" Surprised Eirlana jumped off her bed. "I didn't expect you would return today." she quickly took a towel and placed it over his head, brushing off some of the wet sticky snow.

"Welcome back." she smiled.

Solas stood frozen in his tracks, somewhere during the miserable journey back to Skyhold he had forgotten he had to face her again. Exhausted as he was, he hadn't prepared himself to see her. Eirlana bustled around him, closing the door, taking his pack and coat. She was wearing only a nightgown and a loose overcoat, she had let her hair down, brushed out in shiny waves.

A little stunned Solas looked around their shared room, a lot had changed in the weeks he was gone. Where once stood a single broken chair and field bed the room was now fully furnished. Two beds had been brought in, one in the right corner of the room, one at the far end. Clothing chests stood at the foot ends. To his left and right two small tables and a few bookshelves had been placed against the wall. One was mostly empty, the other was littered with scrolls, papers and books. He recognised several sketches and descriptions of healing herbs as well as formulas of different draughts and tonics. Above the table hung several herbs drying, spreading a pleasant aroma. Several rugs lay on the stone floor.

"I see, you have made some changes." he smiled lightly and started to remove his drenched clothes. On, what he assumed was his bed, lay several neat piles of folded clothes, as well as a couple of books. He let out a deep and long sigh, before changing into the first shirt and loose leggings he saw.

"If there is something you don't like, we can change it." Eirlana put a cup of warm spiced wine, she had made earlier, in Solas' hands and directed him towards the other bed. He sat down on the cushions and furs. Eirlana could see how tired he was and didn't press him for further details of his journey. Relieved he was back, she hopped on the bed next to him, covering them both with a big blanket.

Solas closed his eyes for a moment, the warmth of the fire and the wine slowly entering his body. Eirlana was cosying herself against him, he could feel her body soft and warm against him. He took a long deep breath and smelled her scent, a mixture of herbs, magic, flowers and a hint of vanilla soap. The tension he was in slipped away, and he relaxed. It was as if he had come home, something he hadn't felt in a very long time.

.

With heavy lid eyes, Solas gazed at Eirlana nestled against him, a book in her lap. Setting his cup aside he lay an arm around her. "Thank you." he kissed her head. "The room looks perfect." Snuggling more against her, he scanned the page of the book. "What are you reading?"

"Songs of Life. It is a collection of poems not influenced by the Chantry."

"Sounds forbidden." he moved his head closer and whispered in her ear. "Read to me."

She glanced at him briefly, a light blush formed on her cheeks as she began.

"Hold fast to dreams

For if dreams die

Life is a broken-winged bird

That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams

For when dreams go

Life is a barren field

Frozen with snow.

Watch the world narrow,

To a field of white,

Nothing to be seen,

But the snow's grip tight,

The colours Fades,

To bleak grey shades,

And the white, white glow,

Of a field of snow."

Eirlana's voice was soft and bright, sometimes stumbling over the words. Solas relaxed, even more, the warmth and wine taking effect. Gently he buried his nose in her hair, brushing the tip against her ear shell. He felt her shivering from the sensation, and her blush returned in a darker shade. He would never tire of making her blush. "Read another one." he asked while carefully brushing her hair aside. She didn't wear her choker, and he could see the healed burn-marks usually concealed. With care, he brushed his lips against her ear downward along her now exposed slender neck. Eirlana's breath hitched while she read, tilting her head to the side. Feeling her pleasure, Solas started to kiss and nip her delicate skin more intensely. His hand slipped into her hair, kneading it, his fingers massaging her head. His other arm embraced her waist, pressing their bodies closer together. The soft gasps she made were music to his ears as he continued his journey downward. He stopped and lingered at the sensitive spot at the junction to her collarbone, when he heard her hum in pleasure. He intensified his attention there, placing wet kisses, tracing the curved groove slowly with his tongue and lightly biting into her neck.

Solas surrendered himself, drowning in the feeling of her heating skin against his lips, getting drunk from her scent, her sweet gasps. All his dark thoughts, his frustrations and troubles vanished from his mind. There was only he and her, nothing else seemed important. He was indulging in his growing love for her. His lips wandered back up again, higher and higher. Leaving a tingling wet trail.

"How do you do that?" he whispered, his breath hot against her ear.

Eirlana tried to turn her head towards him. "Do what?" she asked breathlessly.

"Let me feel this way." his lips nibbling at her sensitive ear tip.

.

Flustered Eirlana moved her head away, deeply blushing. Her whole body was shivering with every movement Solas made. Goosebumps were spreading everywhere, and she could feel her pulse hammering. The kisses he gave were burning hot and left her skin tingling, wanting more. With every trace of his tongue, her stomach was doing somersaults. Her senses were flooded with his presence, his intimacy. Out of breath, she turned towards him.

Solas seized the moment and captured her lips, moving his body against hers. Almost natural their lips parted, their tongues entwined and they inhaled each other's breaths. Slowly Solas pressed his body against her, tipping her back. His hands began wandering, slipping out of her silky hair, brushing her ears, down her neck and arms. Parting from her lips, he left a trail of wet kisses down her jaw and neck.

Lying on her back, Eirlana felt herself overpowered by the sensation of his loving touch. Hesitantly she reached out to him and flinched slightly when her fingers touched his bare chest. Earlier Solas hadn't bothered to close his shirt neatly, and it had fallen open. She could hear him taking a groaning breath when she touched him before he resumed kissing and nipping her neck more intensely. Slowly moving his tongue against her sensitive spots, forcing a gasp from her lips. Overwhelmed she curled her fingers, lightly scraping over his chests.

Solas moaned, his skin tingling, revelling in the sensation of her touch. He couldn't get enough of her, her warmth, her taste, her soft gasps. Guided by instinct and experience his hands wandered lower, tracing her ribs, stroking her waist.

Eirlana felt confused, things were moving too fast. She didn't know what she should do or how to react. Slowly her anxiety was growing, pushing away the pleasantness of Solas' touch. She felt his body moving, pressing even more against her, trapping her body partially under him. She froze when his hand had wandered down to her thigh and she felt him hardening against her leg.

NO! Stop! NO! Her brain screamed, but her voice didn't react. Flashes of the past invaded her, hands grabbing, hurting, taking. Stinking breaths, groans of pleasure that were not hers. Pain, helplessness, filth, shame. NO! Not longer.

Panicking Eirlana pushed, kicked and shoved him away from her. "NO!"

Solas immediately jumped back, letting go of her. Shocked by the sudden change, he watched her scrabbling away from him until her back hit the wall. Her eyes were big with fear, she was terrified, panting heavily. She cowered together, hugging her knees, burying her face against them. Her hair fell like a curtain around her, concealing her shivering body.

.

Solas wanted to punch himself, he had gone too far. Not thinking, he had sought out his pleasure like some horny youngster, not paying attention to her needs. He had been too forceful and had pushed her over the edge, violating her vulnerable spirit. Guilt-stricken he carefully moved next to her.

Eirlana could feel him move closer. She felt guilty that she had ruined a special moment. Not looking at him she let out a broken. "I am sorry."

Choked up Solas gently brushed her hair to the side. "You have nothing to be sorry for vhenan." there was a slight tremor in his voice. "I shouldn't have pushed you. I am sorry."

She sniffed, raising her head slowly. Her lips were trembling "Sorry, I know... I know you are not them." Tears escaped her eyes, rolling down her face.

Solas could feel his heart break. His stomach twisted in anger, he could only imagine the horrors she had endured. He felt powerless and useless. He wished he could help her, heal her, but nothing he could do or say would take her pain away. Filled with sorrow and defeat, he pulled her gently into his arms, hugging her lightly. The only thing he could do was to be there for her.

Slowly Eirlana felt herself calming down. She knew she was safe, safe in Solas' arms. She hated it that her fears had taken over again, it was her fault that she reacted this way, she was to blame. Physical contact was part of being in a relation, it was only natural that Solas would seek it out. Swallowing down her dread she looked hesitantly up, meeting his eyes.

"I... I will try. I understand you want to..."

Before she could speak any further, he had his fingers pressed against her lips, silencing her. Horror filled his eyes, as he understood what she wanted to say. "Vhenan! Don't."

She stared at him. With care he moved his fingers to her cheek, stroking it.

"Please don't." he spoke softly. "It has to be right for both of us. I am sorry I was acting impulsively, please forgive me." He kissed her forehead, smiling at her with warmth and love. "You already give me so much. I could wish for nothing more, you are perfect just the way you are."

They embraced each other. Solas could feel Eirlana shuddering in relief. "Thank you." she whispered. He felt ashamed, he had spent his days in Crestwood thinking only about himself, his feelings, his burden, her impact on his life. It was selfish of him, he hadn't spared a thought for her feelings, her struggles, her trauma, her vulnerability. He buried his face in her hair, holding her. "I am sorry."

She let his warmth wash over her. She was safe. It was okay. Relieved she sighed. "I missed you."

He pressed a kiss on her head. "Me too."

She looked up at him grinning. "You missed yourself?"

Solas had to laugh, relieved she hadn't lost her spark. "Yes, very."

.

The fire had died down. Only the glimmering coals and a single candle spread light through the room. Solas lay silently awake, holding Eirlana against his chest in her sleep. He listened to her soft, peaceful breaths, cherishing that he had her at his side again. Carefully not to wake her he buried his nose in her hair, taking in more of her scent, her warmth. All his plans of distancing himself and controlling his emotions and impulses had been swept away as soon as he had laid eyes on her. He knew he couldn't fight it and he didn't want to fight it any longer.

As long as time would permit it, he would be by her side. Closing his eyes, he hoped that for once faith would be kind and that his curse of deception and destruction wouldn't follow her. He hoped and prayed to no one that he would be allowed to protect her. For now, he would treasure every moment spent with her as long as he lived.

* * *

Ego hic servire. Dominus. - I am here to serve. Master.


	14. Chapter 14

I wish everyone the best for the year 2018.

I hope you all survived the Holidays in good health (and still love your family ;p ).

Like everyone else, I hope to hear more about the next release of Dragon Age this year. (Crosses fingers that they will continue with the Solas story arch)

As for this chapter, it is sort of an intermezzo before the gang heads out again. I had so many ideas for dialogue and scenes that I decided to spend an extra chapter on it. In the end, our heroes have a life outside from following the Inquisitor around.

As always enjoy :)

* * *

 **Chapter 14**

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"Vishante kafas! Whose idea was it to go out here." Ploughing through the snow Dorian pulled his cloak tighter around himself.

"What's the matter? Not enough slaves to rub your footsies?" Iron Bull slapped Dorian lightly on his back sending him almost tumbling into the snow.

"My footsies are freezing. Thank you very much."

"I could warm them for you." Iron Bull grinned broadly, raising his eyebrows suggestively a couple of times at the shivering mage. Dorian ears turned a shade darker and quickened his pace, muttering something about preposterous and barbarian.

"You guys have it way to easy." Varric huffed behind them, the snow reaching far past his knees.

"Need a piggyback ride?" Iron Bull laughed.

"No thanks. I am good." he looked at Solas and Eirlana leading the way. "I have always wondered. How do you elves do that?"

Solas looked around. "Do what, master Tethras?"

"Getting around without shoes. I always thought Daisy and Broody to be crazy for walking around barefoot in Kirkwall, but to have no shoes on out here."

"May I suggest you broaden your definition of shoes."

"You can't call it a shoe when your toes are sticking out."

"You should give it a try." Solas smiled.

"No thank you. I love my toes."

"At least someone does." Krem snickered. "But Dorian is right. Why are we out here anyway?" He, Dalish and the others had left Skyhold in the early morning. They had already walked a good hour deeper into the mountains.

"Well, for bow training of course." Dalish gestured with her 'special' Dalish bow.

"Not all of our current allies appreciate our particular talents." Solas agreed. "I can't imagine the current residents of Skyhold would be thrilled if we would train in the courtyard. Out here we will not be disturbed." He walked further. Initially, he had planned to come out here to explore his current limits of his powers. He had asked Eirlana to accompany him, but Varric had overheard them, and it somehow had turned into a group endeavour.

.

They had a few days free to rest and train before they would travel to the Dales. The civil war raging in Orlais had hit that region hard, and the Inquisition hoped to gain more allies and information to prevent the planned assassination of Empress Celene. There was a temporary cease-fire, but the reports coming from that region were strange. Fearing Corypheus was somehow interfering they had decided to go there next.

Apart from this small outing, Solas had used this short rest researching the condition of the Veil and Corypheus movements. He had received several reports from his agents throughout Thedas, informing him about the Venatori exploring many ancient ruins. He was relieved that his agents had been able to save some artefacts and that crucial ruins still lay hidden and protected, away from prying eyes.

They reached a shallow valley and spread out to train their skills. Dorian focussed on his lightning spells. Dalish and Eirlana sparred with Varric, Krem and Iron Bull, to improve their defences. Varric fired blunt arrows at them, while Krem and Iron Bull charged them with wooden sticks.

Solas walked a little further and sat down under a tree. He let out a sigh; he should have made up some excuse to go alone. He closed his eyes, blocking out the chatter and distractions around him. In the past few weeks, his magic was coming easier to him and was less exhausting. It was a sign that finally, his body was stabilising after his long slumber. Because of his aid to the Inquisition and the constant fighting, he was adapting more quickly to the presence of the Veil. With a few breaths, he emptied his mind and went into a meditative state. He focussed his will on the Veil, the barrier he had created so long ago. He could feel his connection to it, and beyond it, the endless realm of the Fade. It was time to test the limits of this connection and his control over it.

.

Moving her staff, Eirlana forced snow up over her forcefield to block Varric's vision.

"Nice one Snowflake." Varric laughed firing more arrows at her and Dalish. Dalish had more problems keeping up her defences while trying to block Krem's attack. Her concentration wavered, and she grunted when Varric hit her in the shoulder before she was tackled to the ground by Krem.

"You need to focus more on your right." Krem laughed before pulling her up. They both stood and watched Iron Bull charging Eirlana. Varric was now focussing his fire solely on her, but he had trouble to make even a dent in her forcefield. As Iron Bull came closer, Eirlana dodged to the side and attempted to strengthen her shield in his direction. She wasn't quick enough. Iron Bull grinned as he breached it and tried to hit her with his improvised weapon. Just as he thought he had her, he suddenly felt a snow-cone colliding with his exposed ribs. He jumped aside as a reflex and Eirlana whirled around him and tapped him on his back with her staff.

"Did you see that Krem!?"

"Sure thing chief. If she had been serious, you had a scar you couldn't brag about for once."

A little shaken and out of breath, Eirlana was leaning on her staff. She couldn't believe she had managed to fend off Iron Bull and Varric at the same time.

"Good job." Varric laughed and holstered Bianca after giving her a loving pet. "By the way what is Chuckles doing? Varric asked as he joined the others. "Did he drag us out here so he could just sit in the cold?" He looked at Eirlana for an explanation, who stared at him intensely. There was a strange sparkle in her eyes he hadn't seen before.

"No, he did not."

"What is he doing then?"

The moment Varric asked, Solas stood up and grabbed his staff. Reaching out to the Fade, he called forth a piece of its raw, primal matter. Quickly he formed it into a fist and fired it at the closest tree. Satisfied he watched as the bark shattered from the impact. It shook the whole tree, and all the snow fell from its branches.

"Shit what was that?" Krem asked, shocked by the magic he just saw.

"Now that was extraordinary." Dorian stepped towards Solas. "Was that a manifestation of pure Fade energy? Interesting you seem to manipulate it without converting it. How are you able to stabilise it?"

Solas flexed his fingers. At last, some of this old strength was returning. He had succeeded to bypass the Veil and draw raw power from the Fade. Although he was still a long way to go, it was a start.

"It is not that much different from manifesting fire." Solas explained to Dorian, though it was far from the truth. "I simply didn't focus on a specific element and shaped it to my will."

They were all gathering around Solas. "Do that again."

Now he had more control it was a simple feat. It felt good to have a part of his strength back.

"Krem you should try to block that with your shield." Iron Bull laughed.

"I think I have to pass on that one chief."

Suddenly there was a crash behind them, and they all turned around.

.

Eirlana had sensed how Solas' energy reached out. Concentrating on the Veil, she saw him forming a soft spot. She felt him pulling, calling out to the Fade. She had never seen anything like it. Curious she had tried to mimic it, and what she experienced was extraordinary. It was like she was in direct contact with the Fade, her second home. It was similar to the time she stood directly under the Breach, back then it was as if the Fade reached out to her. Her mind and hands moved on their own. Almost natural she shaped the raw energy that appeared at her fingertips and let it propel forward.

Everyone was staring at her as the small tree she had hit fell over, broken at his base. Especially Solas looked dumbfounded, his eyes big with surprise.

"All right, so both of our elven friends are Fade manipulators." Dorian broke the silence. "Is this an Elven thing? If so, you better keep this quiet from my countrymen."

They all started to chat and joke as they made their way back to Skyhold. Solas kept to himself mulling over what he just had witnessed. It troubled him that Eirlana's magic was developing so fast. How could it be possible she manifested an art that hadn't been seen in ages? He also felt a little jealous. It had taken him months to regain some of his abilities, only to see her do it in a blink of an eye. She shouldn't be able to do what she does, yet her techniques felt oddly familiar. They had a touch of effortlessly, something that he once took for granted. Had she really learned this level of skill from the spirits? It was ironic that he to some extent claimed the same as a cover-up. But to see someone do it, it almost seemed impossible.

Eirlana walked silently next to Solas. She had the feeling she had done something wrong. She was surprised like the others about what she could do, but the look in Solas' eyes had been different. It was one of disbelief and something darker she couldn't place.

Was he angry at her that she copied him?

"I am sorry." she whispered after a while.

Solas could almost feel her nervousness physically. Realizing something was wrong, he stopped and held her by her hand. He waited until there was some distance between them and the others.

Noticing they weren't longer following them, Varric looked back. He saw them standing close together and had to smile, clearly they wanted some alone time.

.

Eirlana's was growing more anxious by the second. Solas' silence made her fears only worse. Not knowing what to do she looked at her feet. Solas heart ached, seeing her so fearful and frail. Gently he touched her chin and lifted her head until their eyes met.

"Vhenan, what are you sorry for?" he asked her calmly.

"I..." as usual she bit her lip when feeling uneasy. "You didn't like that I did that."

Solas couldn't deny his brief moment of jealousy. "I was taken aback. The spell you cast is not some common feat. It has taken me many years to master it."

He studied her intensely. "How did you know what to do?" He knew she was very sensitive to magical energies. She had copied him before, but that were much simpler spells. Manipulating raw Fade energy shouldn't be something you could replicate after seeing it only once.

"It is hard to explain. I saw how your magic influenced the Veil. I could feel the call of the Fade beyond it. It felt right, and I tried to do the same."

Solas thought about what she said, and he remembered her earlier comments about the Anchor. "You saw what I did to the Veil?"

"Yes."

"No one can see magic to that extent."

"It is not exactly seeing, it is more like sensing the magical energy, and it's effect. I learned from the spirits how to recognise this energy. That is also how I was able to find you when you were hurt."

Thinking back, Solas remembered all those times she had found him in the past. He had wondered how she did that but never asked. "How?... Could you try to explain it please?"

Eirlana was silent for a moment. "Did you ever wonder how spirits can find mages in their dreams? It is not like they simply wander around and find you by accident. They can hear the magic. For them, spells are like whispers, soft melodies, strange music or loud roaring sounds." She had to smile thinking back at how the spirits tried to teach her. "I tried to hear it and of course, I couldn't. I am no spirit. But as I spent more and more time in the Fade something changed, I began to sense something. Slowly I became aware of the shades of magic. It is like I can feel their colours. I have to concentrate to sense them, but every mage, every magic has its own flare, its own unique mixture of tints. It is not something I can do all the time; it has its limits. For example, I can't be too far away, and it is more difficult if there are many different effects. When you went missing in Haven I almost didn't find you, there was too much chaos, and you were so wounded." she squeezed his hand, glad he was alive. "Sometimes it helps me to understand a spell." she continued. "When I saw you preparing your magic, I wanted to try to do the same. Like you, I was as surprised that it worked."

"It must be wondrous to see it with your eyes." Solas smiled at her. In part, it explained a lot about her magical sensitivity. He had heard stories about people developing strange abilities from prolonged lyrium exposure before, but even in his time, that practice was shunned. The risk of death or insanity to the subject was practically guaranteed. It horrified him when he imagined what she had endured, how much she must have suffered. She had paid a horrendous price for her uniqueness.

Her ability worried him. To be able to sense magic to this extent was a very powerful and dangerous talent. If anyone, especially the Chantry and it's templars, would ever find out what she was capable of, she could be forced to find every mage alive. It also brought risks to him. He wondered if she could notice he was regaining his strength. He needed to be careful and come up with another plan if he ever had to leave.

"It would be wise to use your skills with caution. With our current allies, it is hard to tell when they could turn on us." It was the same warning he had given her before, and he was grateful she agreed with him that a certain level of secrecy was needed towards the others.

"I know. I will be careful. It is just..."

"What is it?"

"Cassandra already knows I can sense magical energies. I have revealed some of it by accident during our escape from Haven. She doesn't know everything, only that I can sense clusters of mages. She doesn't know too what extent, and she hasn't brought it up since then."

"As far as we can tell she isn't one to exploit others." Solas softly kissed her forehead. "We should return here soon and explore your ability to manipulate Fade energy. It is an old art with countless possibilities." Placing his arm on her shoulder, they started to walk again.

.

After a short hike, they found the others waiting for them.

"Already finished?" Varric grinned at them.

"Come on some alone time is important" Iron Bull tried to sound very seriously.

"Says the Qunari." Dorian shook his head. "I still find it wondrous that they have allowed you to stay. An actual Ben-Hassrath, just walking around unchecked and that doesn't strike anyone as a bad thing?"

"Says the Vint, when we're fighting Vints. Maybe I should pay you some **special** attention. Who knows what you have hidden under those fine robes of yours."

Dorian sputtered "Nothing you would know to appreciate."

"Oh, I can **appreciate** a whole lot."

Varric shook his head. "Flirting Qunari, what's next?"

"It's been a while since I saw you pull out your moves chief."

Eirlana giggled, she enjoyed listening to them. The talking and laughing continued on their way back to Skyhold. Even Solas had to smile at their amusing banter.

They walked past the training area at the edge of the village that had formed outside Skyhold. Sweaty and bruised a group of soldiers were just leaving it. Ryan was among them proudly wearing his new templar insignia, the flaming sword of mercy. Eirlana felt uneasy seeing it on him.

"Iron Bull, Solas, Eirlana. I have something for you." Ryan called out to them. They followed him to the stables located between the trees, next to the training grounds.

"Woo where you get one of those." Iron Bull walked towards a massive horse standing in one of the enclosures. It was the biggest horse Eirlana had ever seen in her life.

"It's an Asaarash a special breed from Seheron. Never thought I would see one out here." He patted the horse's neck carefully.

"Now you can ride something decent." Ryan smiled. "Solas, Eirlana. We have also been gifted some mounts you might be interested in." He led them past the still growing numbers of horses and oxen. In another enclosure away from the bustle, two harts were eating hay. Nervously their ears twitched when they came closer. One of the harts was dark brown with light brown markings and dark antlers; the other one was grey with white markings, his antlers were a light grey colour.

"Until now, no one has been able to get even close to them. I have heard that they have a liking for elves. Maybe they can serve you. Otherwise, I will set them free. There is no reason to keep them if no one can ride them."

.

"They are beautiful." Eirlana stared at them, her eyes big.

Slipping under the fence, Solas walked slowly towards them. It had been a while since he had seen these magnificent creatures. He reached out to them. _"Welcome watchers of the deep forests and great planes."_ The harts ears twitched as he spoke to them in Elvhen. Slowly they came closer smelling his outstretched hand. Letting them get familiar with him, he stroked their noses. He turned towards Eirlana _"Come vhenan, let them get to know you. They are magnificent creatures and can form bonds for life."_

Hesitant Eirlana slipped into the enclosure. The harts noticed her nervousness and shied back. _"Ssshhh she is a friend. She means you no harm."_ Taking her hand in his own, he carefully placed in on the nose of the grey hart. It took a deep breath, smelling her scent.

" _He is so soft."_ Eirlana slowly stroked her fingers over the harts nose, who seemed to like her ministrations and stepped closer. She smiled broadly completely taken in by the animal.

Solas stomach fluttered, seeing her so joyful. _"We can go for a ride later if you like."_

" _I would love that."_

"I thought only the Dalish could do that." Varric had heard stories from Daisy about how they spoke to their halla, but now he saw it for the first time.

"I have never seen a flat-ear done it." Dalish said, looking suspiciously at Solas and Eirlana. Their Elvish sounded fluent, and she could barely make out half of the words they were using. Even among the Dalish, the Elven language was an almost dead language. Too much had been lost and only common phrases and words were used nowadays. To have a casual conversation in it, she didn't think even the First of her former Clan would be able to do that. How could they know the language so well? Something was strange, especially with Eirlana. One thing she knew for sure, Eirlana couldn't have learned it in Tevinter. She left Varric and Krem to seek out the chief. This was something he would be interested in.

.

That evening Solas and Eirlana took their new mounts for a ride. Solas had fitted them with a simple leather bridle and a riding blanket. He would ask Dennet later to make a custom light saddle and harness for them. For now, this would suffice.

Eirlana stood next to the grey hart wondering how she would get on it without a stirrup.

"Here, let me help you." Solas stood behind her, with his hands around her waist he lifted her up onto the mount. "They are more sensitive than horses. You can ride them better without heavy saddles." he explained.

Together they rode out of the valley. The harts were fast and sure-footed, both following their light instructions. Eirlana had to get used to riding them a little, after all, it wasn't long ago that she had learned to ride a horse. They rode up the mountains until they could look out over the valley and Skyhold, glowing warm orange in the setting sun.

It was a beautiful sight, but it went unnoticed to Eirlana as she stared at Solas. He looked almost majestic sitting on his dark hart, his back straight, looking at the fortress with piercing eyes. Somehow his whole demeanour had changed, it was more cold, sharp, primal, determined. For a fraction of a second, she envisioned him, standing here looking over the valley she had seen in the Fade. It was both right and impossible. She made her uncomfortable, and a shiver ran through her.

Solas noticed it. "Are you cold vhenan?" His eyes turned softer, back to the warm, caring, loving gaze she knew so well.

"No." she shook her head wondering why she had that thought. A gust of wind tugged at their cloaks covering them with fine snow that fell from the pines. She laughed when Solas brushed it from his head, shivering when some of it slipped into his neck.

"What was your hair like?"

He stopped brushing off the snow. "Pardon?"

"You hair. What was it like? I can't imagine you were always bald."

He chuckled. "No, I was not."

"How did you lose it?"

After a moment of silence, he answered. "A magical accident."

Eirlana couldn't believe it. "You and accidents?"

"Mistakes and accidents pave the road of learning. Even the wisest make them in their lifetime." His eyes twinkled. "How do you think my hair was like?"

She attempted to look like she was thinking seriously, but Solas could see at her hold back laughter she was picturing him with ridiculous hairstyles. He loved to see her so free, enjoying life. With each passing day, he noticed small changes. She was growing, coming out of her shell, finding her true self.

"I don't know. Maybe..." She turned her hart. "Maybe you had two enormous buns at the side of your head." she giggled.

To retaliate Solas had prepared a small spell to push the snow from the branch above her head, but before he could do it, she did the same covering him in snow. Laughing she rode fast away.

He shook the snow off him. With a predatory grin on his lips, he spurred his hart on and chased her. Being more practised in riding he quickly overtook her laughing. Eirlana felt her stomach flutter, seeing him so relaxed, so free. This was the Solas she loved the most, the Solas that was the most real.

Laughing, they chased each other through the woods, using magic to cover each other with snow.

Suddenly from the corner of his eyes, Solas saw movement.

"Vhenan! WATCH OUT!" he reined his hart.

Not having his riding reflexes, Eirlana flew past him. She saw the snow in front of her disturbed and tried to stop. All of a sudden a net was pulled up in front of her and her hart reared. With force, she was thrown off his back into the snow.

"Vhenan!" Solas called out to her, but before he could reach her arrows flew in their direction. In a blink of an eye, both of them had their forcefields up, deflecting them. The air filled with lightning as Solas attacked the archers. Eirlana shot ice-shards at two men who tried to sneak up at them. Before the fight started, it was already over. Five men lay dead in the snow.

Quickly Solas dismounted and ran to Eirlana. "Are you hurt?"

"No, I am fine." she accepted his hand as he helped her on her feet. "Who were they?" alert she looked around in case more would show up and attack them.

"Solas!?" he had picked her up and put her on his hart. "Wait here. I am going to look who they were." They both were cautious as Solas walked towards the archers. He pulled one of the arrows out of the snow and noticed the slight discolouration. Poison. Carefully he smelled at it and discovered they were coated with a sedative. His face wrinkled with concern, why would they try to knock them out. His concern grew when he saw that their attackers were Venatori. Why were they here? And why were they here in such a small group? Quickly he searched their pockets, and one had a crude note on him.

'The elf is rarely seen alone. Often accompanying the Inquisitor. If a chance presents itself, proceed with capturing. The Elder One commands it'

"Solas did you find something?"

"No nothing." he crumbled the note and set it aflame. "They are Venatori. They probably are trying to scout our new stronghold. Let's head back and inform the Commander." He mounted the hart behind her, taking the other at his reign. On their way back Solas noticed the tracks of the Venatori, they had followed them up the mountain. What could they want with either him or Eirlana.?

.

Back at Skyhold, they informed a messenger about what happened. The information spread like wildfire. As they walked back from the stables, many people asked if they were all right. Though Solas also got his share, most questions were directed towards Eirlana. In just a few months she had not only captured his heart but had found a way in many others. As more and more people asked them, he noticed that she was getting anxious. Just when Solas wanted to ask what was wrong, Cullen ran towards them.

"I heard you were attacked. Are you hurt?" he asked them out of breath.

"We are fine, thank you." Solas answered. "I believe we surprised some Venatori scouts."

"I will send out extra patrols. There probably more of them out there." Cullen saw that Eirlana kept quiet and avoided his eyes. Concerned he stepped closer. "Eirlana are you sure you are all right?"

"Enough!" she suddenly yelled. Both Solas and Cullen and the people around her fell silent. Everyone was staring at her; she felt cornered. "I... I am sorry. I am okay." quickly she walked away. Not thinking, she entered the great hall and stopped in her tracks. It was full of people eating their evening meal. She was trapped by a wall of people; her panic was rising.

.

"Vhenan?" Solas placed his hand softly on Eirlana's shoulder and turned her around. She was upset about something, but he had no idea why. He bowed his head to capture her downcast eyes. They glistened with unshed tears. Quickly he guided her away into the empty rotunda. He sat with her down on the sofa, but she was still avoiding his eyes.

"What is the matter?" patiently he waited for her to answer.

"I don't know." she whispered.

Solas stroked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Talk to me vhenan."

"I... I am not used to this."

"To what?" he asked confused.

"All of this." Eirlana still didn't look up, fidgeting at her sash. "You, Cullen, everyone asking. I don't know what to do. Why does everyone worry? I am just..." she fell silent, and tears fell on her hands. Why would anyone care about her? She was no one, just a former slave.

"Vhenan." Solas whispered taking her in his arms. He could see the rabbit-hole she had fallen into on her face. Her self-esteem was healing, but the scars and memories remained. She had been treated as an object all her life and learning her own self-worth was a confronting and difficult journey. She was so strong and yet so vulnerable. He held her tightly, hoping she would calm down to understand his words.

"I was worried about you; we were all worried about you. It is normal for people to look after those they care about. Think about all you have done for these people; they want to give something back."

Eirlana freed herself from his arms, but still avoided his eyes.

"Wouldn't you do the same if Varric or Iron Bull would be hurt?" he still didn't get a response.

"Eirlana!" Hearing Solas speak out her name was unusual. Startled she looked up directly into his eyes. "You are not a slave anymore." he took her hand and slowly brought it to his lips. "You are kind." he kissed her hand. "Smart, talented, beautiful, loving." he kissed her hand and fingers each time with each word he said. He heard her breath hitch when his lips lingered on her fingertip. With a grin, Solas continued placing kisses all over her fingertips "Book stealer, snow thrower, blanket snatcher, apple devourer."

Suddenly he had a pillow in his face, and he let himself fall back, Eirlana on top of him. Laughing he added "Pillow bandit" and pulled it off his face. He caught a glimpse of her smile before she captured his lips in a tender kiss.

"Thank you." she brushed his nose with hers.

"I have to add the sweetest kisser." Solas mumbled and captured her lips again in a long deep kiss.

.

A young elven servant walked in on them, and they reluctantly let go of each other. "Miss Eirlana, Lady Montilyet asked if you wanted to look at these for tomorrow."

Eirlana sighed and took the folder, thanking the servant.

Curious Solas took it. "May I?" he opened it and saw different sketches of dresses. "What are these?"

"Josephine told me I have to come to the fitting tomorrow." she groaned.

"For the imperial ball?" he hadn't paid much attention to the preparations for the event. He had just agreed when Josephine told him that he would have to wear a uniform. He flipped through the drawings; one dress was more hideous than the next. It was apparent that Vivienne and Josephine both had a hand in these designs.

"Why do I have to go? There already have enough other people that are going." She felt uncomfortable to go there. The Game of power and intrigue of the Orlesian court was legendary. She knew it was important for the Inquisition to be there, but she had no idea why she had to be part of it. Seeing the sketches made her even more reluctant to go. It would display her like a peacock to people that saw elves as pets, playthings, lesser beings. "What if I do something wrong?"

Solas could understand her apprehension, but he also wanted her at his side. He stood up, and with a bow, he knelt before her on one knee.

"Solas?"

He took hold of her hand and gently touching her with his lips.

"My Lady, would you grant me the great honour to accompany you to the ball?"

Eirlana blushed at his formal display. She smiled shyly as he looked expectantly at her. His gesture and assurance he would be there, made her feel like she could handle the world.

"I would love to." Her eyes went back to the folder. "I guess I could also wear a uniform like you."

He laughed. "I agree those creations are not your style. Do you have no idea of your own?"

"The only clothing for a formal feast I know are from the past."

He brushed another lock behind her ear and could imagine how beautiful she would look in a gown of his time. "Why don't you take those as an inspiration." he stood up and bowed before her. "And if I have to accompany you. I will have to choose something that matches your radiant presence."

His words made her blush, timid she mumbled. "I am just me."

And I would spend an eternity at your side if I could, Solas thought. Painfully aware that that never could happen. Quickly he suppressed the thought. "And I wouldn't want anyone else at my side. Let's show them that we are not mere servants."

.

The door to the great hall opened, and Varric and Iron Bull came into the rotunda. "There you guys are. Come the party is starting without us."

"Coming." Dorian called from the library above them.

The Herald's Rest had it's opening night. Eirlana stood up to join them, but Solas walked to his desk.

A little surprised she asked him "You are not coming?"

He could hear her disappointment. "I am sorry. I have other plans for this evening." He didn't want to go; already he was growing too attached to some people. It was becoming difficult for him knowing that he couldn't save them. The world as they knew it had to end and he needed to keep some distance to be able to fulfil his responsibility. He started to arrange the contents of his desk.

"Then, I will see you later." she heard at his voice that she couldn't change his mind. Although she knew he had this strange habit of distancing himself, she couldn't help but feel disappointed. It was odd that he was encouraging her to be more outgoing when he was often staying behind.

Solas could feel her eyes lingering on him as she followed the others. It tugged at his heart that he was disappointing her, but he had no other choice.

"If you change your mind Chuckles you know where to find us." Varric called out to him.

Dorian hovered for a few moments longer in the rotunda. "You know if you are afraid about the Inquisitor spoiling the party you don't have to worry. A little bird told me he has a more private arrangement with our dear ambassador."

"I am sorry, I have work to do. Have a good night Dorian." Solas replied and began to unpack his special delivered supplies.

"Your loss." Dorian said before closing the door.

Solas let out a sigh and shook his head to clear his mind; he needed to stay strong and not forget his purpose. From a distant, he could hear the laughter and cheering of the party. For a while, he closed his eyes. Then with newfound determination, he stared at the empty walls around him. Grabbing his new brushes and special pigments that had finally arrived. Focussing his mind, he started the, to him, familiar procedure of preparing and mixing the colours.

.

It was crowded and noisy in the Herald's rest. Iron Bull paved a path to the Chargers and Sera. They had kept a corner free, and before Eirlana could feel overpowered by all the people, Varric sat her down on a chair against the wall. He joined her with Iron Bull, Dorian and Sera. The chargers kept partying outside of their small circle, so Eirlana had room to relax.

"I heard you had a run in with some Vints." Iron Bull passed her a mug of wine.

It was okay they were her friends, Eirlana thought. Remembering Solas' words. "Yes, they ambushed us, but luckily it was only a small group."

"Tsss, how stupid of them. Bet you showed them who's boss." Sera balanced two mugs in one hand. "Where is mister elfy elf anyway. This place to human for him?"

"I don't know if you noticed Buttercup, but this is the non-human corner." Varric laughed.

"Hey and what am I?" Dorian protested.

They all laughed. When Iron Bull suggested, he needed to check him first. The evening went on, and Eirlana was enjoying the company and laughter. Animated Sera and Varric told outrages stories, Iron Bull kept flirting, and Dorian displayed his incredible talent of describing the various flavours of the drinks they consumed. As the party went on singing contested were held, and the groups mingled.

Varric returned from the bar and flopped in the chair next to Eirlana, giving her another mug of wine.

"So tell me. How are you two doing?" he asked after a while

Not knowing what to say she sipped at the wine.

"He makes you happy. Doesn't he?

She nodded and started blushing. Yes, he made her happy. Happier than she ever thought possible.

"That's good. A blind nug can see you love him." Varric was silent for a moment searching for the right words. "Hey Snowflake I know you had a shit life until now. I have seen what it can do to people. If you ever feel like you want to talk to someone, I am here for you."

"Thank you Varric. I will." Grateful she gave him a small hug. The first hug she had given to someone other then Solas. It was strange to do so but rewarding. Solas was right she was a slave no longer.

.

The rotunda was lit with candles and veil fire. Solas sat on a scaffold painting the wet plaster on the wall in broad strokes. Quietly Eirlana stepped closer in awe of the mural he had created of a giant eye filled with eyes. He was now painting beams that shot out from it. She had seen many such paintings but never how they were made. "May I?"

Solas looked down at her holding the ladder. Her cheeks were red from the wine she had consumed.

"Of course." He held a hand out to her to help her up.

She sat down behind him. It was strange she instantly felt calmer when she was with him, now even more in her slight intoxicated state. She had enjoyed her evening with the others, but something had been missing. With a sigh she leaned against him, taking in his scent, his presence.

"I missed you." she kissed his neck.

Solas shuddered and tilted his head back. Her arms encircled him as he leaned into her touch. He could smell the alcohol on her breath, and he told himself he had to be careful and not take advantage of her intoxicated state. "Did you enjoy yourself?" he turned towards her.

"Yes." she kissed him, and he kissed her back. She pressed her body more against him, sparking every cell in Solas' body to react. Swallowing down his desires, he broke the kiss.

"How was it?"

"Crowded and loud. Especially Iron Bull and Varric were very enthusiastic. I have heard a lot of new stories involving bars.

"I can imagine." he laughed and freed himself from her arms. "I am sorry vhenan, but I have to finish this before the plaster dries."

Not wanting to be in the way she climbed down. Sitting in his chair, she watched him paint. "It is beautiful." she whispered, hoping that these murals wouldn't suffer the same fate as those in the Fade.

"It is an old hobby." Solas explained. "Sadly I don't have the opportunity very often." By the time he had finished Eirlana was asleep in his chair. Carefully not to wake her, he carried her to their room.

.

The Inquisitor's quarters had been transformed into a makeshift atelier. Racks of cloth, samples and tables with other materials had been brought in. Master Amar was busy to get his seamstresses to hurry up and arrange the patterns and everything else.

"Master Amar I hope everything is to your satisfaction." Josephine addressed him, her clipboard in hand as always.

"Thank you, Lady Montilyet. It will suffice. Now, where are the customers? We don't have much time before the Grand Masquerade."

"I agree. Some of us are desperately in need of your talents." Vivienne was the first to join Josephine.

"Madame de Fer." he bowed. "It is a pleasure to see you well."

One by one the whole inner circle joined them, some were more hangover and reluctantly than others. Sera had refused altogether to go to any noble prick gathering. And most advisors had agreed that it would be better if she wouldn't attend the ball.

Josephine coughed politely, to get everyone's attention. "I would suggest for the men to go first, so the ladies have more time to decide on the fabrics. Most of you will be fitted with a uniform. To be recognisable, the clothing will be embroidered or feature a decorative pin of the Inquisition's insignia ."

Slowly the group spread through the room, looking at the choices.

Cullen for once not wearing his armor was muttering. "Is this all really necessary?"

"Do you have anything in pink." Iron Bull asked one of the seamstresses.

Blackwall and Ryan both chortled at the thought of seeing Iron Bull in that colour. Varric scribbled down another note for his book.

Dorian looked shocked at Iron Bull. "Pink? You can't be serious."

"What? I like the colour."

"We already decided on a red fabric." Josephine intervened. "Cassandra, for you we were thi..."

"NO!"

"But I haven't."

"I will NOT wear a dress." Cassandra's eyes were hard as she stepped towards Blackwall whose measurements already were being taken.

"Dress uniform it is then." Josephine sighed making a note. She was clearly disappointed.

A young seamstress standing on a stool squealed when Iron Bull flexed his muscles and snapped her measuring tape out of her hands.

"Show off." Dorian muttered while he and Varric were looking at the fabrics for their formal costumes.

"Hey, Hero couldn't you shave. They need a few inches more with all your back hair." Varric joked.

"Says the dwarf with a carpet of chest hair."

"Please, this is a trademark. The ladies wouldn't buy my books without it."

Vivienne sighed dramatically at their unprofessionalism and Josephine tried to refocus them on their task. No one was paying any attention to Solas. Within a few minutes, he had found the fabrics he wanted and had sketched a design.

Master Amar looked at it. "Yes, we can do that. Nolana take his measurements. Then he is finished." His voice was loud enough for the others to notice.

Vivienne and Dorian both raised their eyebrows sceptically.

"Right the hobo suit is finished first." Vivienne muttered.

Josephine quickly walked towards him. "Solas I don't think... Oh, my." she looked at the sketch and fabrics "That is an unusual but exhalant choice."

"Let me see that." Dorian asked and was quiet for a moment. "So tell me when you can do this. Why do you dress like an escaped woodsman all the time?"

Solas looked down at himself. Even though he had gotten new clothes, he always chose the poorer, more rougher fabrics for his daily attire. They often frayed at the edges given him an unkept appearance. He suppressed a smirk. If only they knew how familiar was with this whole procedure and courtly business. "Because it suits me." he smiled at Dorian.

.

With the men finished it was now the ladies turn. Vivienne was first to demand Master Amar's attention, and Josephine was already handing Leliana's measurements to a seamstress.

Eirlana looked at the racks. She had never seen so many rich fabrics. Beautiful silks, satin, brocade in a variety of colours. Some sparkled, embroidered with glittering jewels, silver and golden threads. How could she choose among all these? She remembered what Solas had told her when he braided her hair that morning. "People dress to express themselves. Remember the feasts you have seen in the Fade. Remember the feeling those people reflected. For example in the spring people tend to wear more vivid colours. Autumn calls for browns, rich reds, yellow, orange. Or they want to convey a message like Vivienne who wants to express power and wealth."

What do I want? She thought, and her eyes wandered to the softer lighter fabrics.

"My dear. I see you will match Solas in your attire." Vivienne commented when Eirlana was finished.

"I am sure you will look lovely in it."

As always Eirlana found it hard to pinpoint if Vivienne was being serious in her remarks.

"Now you need some jewellery." she guided Eirlana to an elven servant who was a jeweller.

"What can I do for you?" he asked politely. His eyebrows raised when she asked for an earpiece. The elf smiled at her. "Of course My Lady." and he quickly sketched a beautiful design for her. He was clearly enjoying her unusual request. When Eirlana was finished having her ear measured, Solas returned with a sealed letter. He had a special order for the jeweller.

* * *

When I thought about an out of character hairdo for Solas, my mind went to Princess Leia. Beware Fen'harel with headphone buns XD


	15. Chapter 15

Hey all,

It is chopping undead time in the Exalted Planes. I am always glad the bodies disappear in the game. Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to walk. Sadly for the Inquisition, I try to describe a more accurate picture of what it would be like if you had to clean up the mess of the Civil War.

I also want to thank everyone who reviews/likes/follows. It really makes me happy to read and see all of them.

I hope you are prepared for a long ride because this story is getting longer and longer and I love writing every word of it.

Enjoy :)

ps. I wrote Elven in _italic_

* * *

 **Chapter 15**

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'How quickly a region could be torn apart by war.' Solas thought as they rode deeper into the Dales. Their journey had started surprisingly pleasant a couple of days ago. The sunny warmer weather and greener lands brightening everyone's mood. The laughs and jokes quickly died down however, when they saw the first traces of the civil war. Along the road lay the skeletal remains of burned down farms next to fields of abandoned ripe harvest. The hungry calls of starving cattle were the only sounds left from what had been a busy community just a few months ago. Some of the animals lay butchered in their pens, harvested by hungry soldiers, their bones giving a bleak picture of what they would encounter at the heart of the conflict. Entire villages lay desolated, abandoned by the people that had fled from the violence. The land itself had been scared, trenches had been dug, barricades build and countless trees cut down. They stood out in the landscape like sore open wounds, silent witnesses of the worst part of humanity.

Yes, the region had changed much since he last had been here.

.

Solas had his reservations returning here. After he had awoken, he had visited these lands to see the attempts of the elves to recreate a false dreams of Arlathan. After centuries of war, imprisonment and slavery, the elves had forgotten what had happened. They had forgotten the truth, the corruption, oppression, injustice and greed that had ruled and ruined Elvhenan. They had forgotten him. His actions, his sacrifices, the reasons why he had tried to create a better world. They didn't even remember how Mythal was betrayed and murdered.

He felt disgusted when he saw the ruins of temples and altars they had build, worshipping those, he had tried to stop. Everything had gone wrong. The Dalish he had met here, only confirmed the cruel twists history imposed on him. They mourned the loss of a heritage, based on fragments of fragments of memory. Like ignorant children, they clung to their lies as the absolute truth. They didn't want to listen to anything he tried to teach them, didn't want to accept the knowledge he wanted to share. They viewed him as a madman. An outsider because he didn't have the slave-markings they so proudly wore. Back then he had left them ireful and disappointed.

"Solas look."

Solas thoughts were interrupted by Eirlana, who pointed at a ruin on the top of a hill. One of the many that one could find in these lands.

"It must have been a watchtower. The view from up there must be great. Maybe we can visit it once all this is behind us."

He felt a pang of sadness hearing her speak of the future, their future. What would happen if she knew the truth? Would she even be willing to remain at his side, when she discovered who he was and what he had done? He knew things couldn't stay like this. Everything would change once he got his orb back and with it, his power. It was strange that he didn't know any longer what he exactly would do when his powers returned to him. What once was a clear path had branched into a complicated web.

Seeing Eirlana's curious eyes, sparkling with her desire for exploration and knowledge made Solas smile. He shook his head, knowing she was the main reason he was wavering. She had opened his eyes to look at the world differently. Not long ago he had scuffed at the feeble attempts of what the elves had tried to recreate. Now he understood more of the struggles they had suffered, the challenges they faced. Being cut off from their true selves and after centuries of enslavement, it was remarkable what they had managed to build, even when it was based on legends and falsehoods.

The future was still uncertain, but Solas knew one thing, the current elves deserved better. They deserved to gain back their place in this world. A place not so different from what they had tried to create here before it was taken from them by force. It may be true that he initiated the downfall of the elves, but the humans had finished what he had started. On these lands, they had brought a third crushing blow to the elves, one they hadn't recovered from since. These grounds were drenched in their blood. He had seen the horrors that had been committed here. The total disregard and destruction of what little truth the elves had managed to preserve. What was left to this day, was a suppressed and neglected elven population. He didn't know if he could have prevented their downfall if he would have been awake at that time. But now he was awake, he would do everything in his power to change their lives once again.

.

Finally, they had reached their destination. The support troops immediately started to set up their camp. Solas and the others gathered around Ryan to hear the reports of scout Harding. It was clear they had reached the centre of the conflict. A heavy smell of smoke and decay hung in the air. The ground was barren, trampled down by carts and countless iron boots. The once lush green bushes and trees had partly disappeared, cut down to feed the never-ending demand of timber and firewood. Patches of dark soil dotted the road, where blood had seeped into the ground. Solas could feel the Fade was restless. The spirits that lived here had been stirred by the recent violence and bloodshed. He could feel their negative energy charging the air. Whatever they would find beyond their camp wouldn't be pretty.

.

After a short rest, they headed out. Ryan and Cassandra walked up front to one of the statues the Chantry had placed here. They represented their justification of the Exalted March, praising their victory upon the elves. Solas watched silently as they knelt down to pray. His face was neutral, stoic. In reality, he felt nothing but disdain for what had happened here.

Eirlana hesitated when they approached the statues. She had heard and read about the Exalted March. Most of the books containing only the views approved by the Chantry. It wildly differed from the glimpses she had witnessed in the Fade the last couple of days. Seeing the statues now with her own eyes made her uncomfortable. Instinctively she stepped closer to Solas and felt his tension, she wasn't the only one that felt uneasy. Wanting to let him know he wasn't alone, she took his hand. Solas looked at her, their eyes sharing an understanding, exchanging that what they couldn't say out loud. He squeezed her hand, it was strangely comforting to know he wasn't alone here this time. Though he wished it were under different circumstances.

He brushed her cheek. "Stay close and watch your step. War brings out the worst in men, and there is no telling what we will encounter."

"You also best stay close to me." the Iron Bull added, shouldering his axe when he saw Ryan and Cassandra had finally finished. "There are a lot of battle-weary badly trained soldiers out here. A dangerous and unpredictable bunch. Especially for pretty elves."

Eirlana felt herself shiver, knowing all too well what he was referring to.

Making sure Bianca was secured, Varric sighed in agreement. "All men are pigs when they are away from home. And this is as far away from home as they can be."

Swallowing down her fears Eirlana just nodded, hoping that their protection wouldn't be needed.

.

Even with all the battles and memories of conflicts, Eirlana had seen in the Fade, it hadn't prepared her for the true face of war. It was like she was walking through a living nightmare. With every breath she took the stench of burned flesh, oil and wood burned her throat. The ground smelled sour and sickly sweet, a foul muddy mixture of earth, human waste, blood, filth and rotting flesh. The stockades the Orlesians had build, were mazes of death and decay. The landscape had been razed, houses destroyed, trees burned. There were craters where flaming boulders had come down. Beside the roads lay rotting corpses next to perished pack animals, partially eaten by maggots and crows. Demons and angry spirits were slipping through the scared Veil, feasting upon the terror, violence and fear. The most horrifying were the pits.

They had been warned about the dead that had come back to life. As soon as they entered the stockades, they were attacked by the bloated rotting corpses. Eirlana could feel the foul dark magic that trapped the spirits in this place. It bound them, forcing them into the bodies of the fallen. In pain and panic, they lashed out, only to be trapped again when they were cut down. They were imprisoned in a never cycle of pain and suffering. This foul magic was centred around massive pits, filled with hundreds of decaying and mangled bodies. She felt sick seeing so many lives lost, discarded like broken tools as if they meant nothing.

.

That evening Eirlana returned to the camp exhausted, she felt numb and filthy. The images of the dead, mangled bodies, bloated corpses and rotting undead kept flashing through her mind. The stench of death and decay still lingered around her, as if it had permeated her. The fighting had worn her down, and she wanted nothing more than to leave this place. Normally she would find rest in the Fade, but that wouldn't be possible here. The nightmare of the day would follow her. With so many raving spirits already slipping through the Veil it would be hard to evade them. She would be sucked into the vivid horrible memories that lingered in this place, knowing she wasn't strong enough to block them.

"Vhenan."

Eirlana looked up at Solas kneeling in front of her. Smiling at her, he took the bowl of stew that had gone cold out of her hands. Too tired to object she let him pull her away from the fire towards their tent. Like a doll, she followed him which made Solas only more worried. He had watched her all day and noticed she became more withdrawn and quiet as the day went by. Now he wanted to take care of her. Gently he set her down in front of their tent and removed her footwrappings. That she didn't object his touches made it only more clear to him that she had seen enough for one day. After they had washed and changed into their evening linen, he brushed her hair, placing light kisses on her shoulder and neck. Slowly she began to relax, shivering slightly from his soft touches. He re-braided her hair, and Eirlana turned towards him.

"Thank you." she mumbled and kissed him tenderly. Leaning her forehead against his, she let out a long sigh. Lying down Solas pulled her closer. With her nestled safely against his chest, he let his magic flow, warding their minds, before he guided her into the Fade. He brought her back to the beautiful gardens of Arlathan.

.

For hours Eirlana and Solas explored the gardens, listened to the songs and music, and spoke softly with each other. Dawn was already approaching when Solas began to explain the art of warding magic. Suddenly Eirlana felt a shift in the Fade and within an eye-blink Solas had disappeared in front of her. Being left behind, she wondered if she should try to follow him. As comfortable she was in the Fade she had never sought out a living person. Solas had told her she would learn giving it more time, but she felt reluctant to try it. Knowing she wouldn't feel comfortable if someone would barge into her dreams. Before she could make up her mind, her body was abruptly pushed to the side. Now wide awake she untangled herself from her blanket, only to see Solas in a state of panic sitting upright next to her. She had never seen him so distressed, his eyes were moving rapidly while he snatched his clothes and put them on. With him not reacting to her she grabbed his hands, forcing him to look at her.

"Solas! What is wrong? What happened?"

For a moment he just stared at her. As if she had frozen him.

"Solas, please talk to me. Tell me what happened."

He hesitated, his first reaction was to dismiss her, planning to go out alone as he always had done. He couldn't rely on the others to help him, least of all from the Inquisitor.

Eirlana was scared, something serious must have happened for him to act this way. "What happened in the Fade? Tell me what is wrong. Let me help you." she pleaded with him.

Solas could see he was frightening her. Taking a deep breath, he calmed himself down. She was right, she could help him. He knew he could trust her, maybe even more than himself. "I heard a call in the Fade. My friend has been summoned, and she is being held against her will. I have to go and help her."

Eirlana let go of him and dressed. "Is it far from here?"

"No. It should be close, but we have to hurry."

.

It was very early in the morning. The first rays of sunshine had just begun to lit up the sky.

Iron Bull sat alone at the dying campfire. He had woken up after a rough night and sent the guards on a routine patrol so he could have some time to himself. He was surprised when Solas and Eirlana emerged from their tent.

"Everything alright?" he asked when Solas went straight to the mounts to saddle his hart.

"Oh Bull, you are awake." Eirlana answered him, looking nervous. "Ehm...We will be gone for a while."

Iron Bull frowned. Whatever they planned, it was clearly not to enjoy themselves. "Do you need help?"

She hesitated a moment looking at Solas riding towards her. "I don't know." she mumbled while she was pulled onto the hart. "We will be back!" she said holding onto Solas, who quickly rode off.

"Hmrrrr." Iron Bull's frown deepened, weighing if he should follow them. Whatever had spooked them, it was clear that they didn't want the others to be involved. He shook his head. It had probably to do something with magic or a Fade thing. After giving them a head start, he sighed as he walked to Ryan's tent. He wouldn't be amused by their little getaway either.

.

Solas stared at what was left of Wisdom. Her body warped, twisted and deformed by the ritual that was done to her. Nothing was left of her radiant spirit. Death, chaos and destruction swept in waves of her as she attempted to break the barriers, that held and tortured her. "No." was the only word that he could utter in his shock.

They had ridden fast to the location he had seen in the Fade. They found a group of mages desperately battling the demonic form of what once was Wisdom. Their summons must have forced her against her purpose, changing her.

"Solas!" Eirlana shook him. Her heart broke when she saw the look of pure sorrow and anguish in his eyes. They had to do something quickly if they wanted to save his friend.

Noticing them, one of the mages ran towards them. "Please, can you help us. The demon is too strong. We can't hold it much longer."

Jumping of the hart Solas stormed towards the mage. "YOU!" he sneered. His voice drenched with anger and loathing. "You summoned her. A Spirit of Wisdom. You FORCED her to KILL! You twisted her nature and turned her into a demon!"

The mage stepped back surprised by Solas' outburst. In defence, he raised his hands slightly. "I... You are mistaken. I understand it is confusing, you haven't studied demons as I have. Please, we need help to contain and dispose of it."

"Dispose of it?" Solas was furious. He wanted nothing more than erase this pathetic excuse of a human from existence, but he still needed him to help Wisdom.

"We can dismantle the binding circle and free her."

Hearing Eirlana's calm voice, Solas felt some of his anger disappear. He turned towards her. "Dismantle the circle?" He had only a general idea how summoning circles worked. Back in his time, there was no need for them. It was far more convenient to seek the spirits out directly if you needed them.

"Are you completely MAD?" the mage looked shocked at her. "It will kill us all."

Ignoring the mage, Eirlana explained to Solas. "I have seen several of these in Tevinter. If we break it correctly, she will no longer be bound to the contract they forced on her. Hopefully, she can turn back to her true self once she is free."

"Tevinter?" the mage looked even more rattled and terrified at them both.

"This is one of the simpler summoning circles. It should not be difficult to reverse, but it will take time. You have to hold her as long as you can. In this state, she will fight us every step of the way."

Seeing the determined look on her face Solas nodded. "I hold her."

.

With an encouraging nod, Eirlana ran towards the circle. The other mages moved back, seeking cover. As she reached the first summoning pillar, the demon lashed out, hitting her with an electrical charge. Her barrier crackled under the impact, this was a powerful spirit.

"I am sorry, friend." she heard Solas say before he pushed the demon back with a forcefield pulling the demon's attention towards him. Eirlana knew she had to work quickly. Keeping an eye on Solas and the demon she started to break down the pillar, reversing the spell. It was difficult with just the two of them. Not wanting to hurt Wisdom Solas used his least offensive magic and ran around, keeping her focus on him. He took many hits in the process, and if it weren't for Eirlana's healing magic, he would have been forced to use much stronger spells against her.

.

Solas panted heavily, blocking another attack when the circle around him disappeared. Wisdom's demonic form faded and she fell to her knees. He rushed towards her. The corruption that had taken hold of her covered her like a dark film, eating her alive. Only her eyes shined with her radiant true self.

Seeing her pain, Solas whispered. _"I am so sorry."_ Knowing they had come too late.

" _I'm not. I'm happy. I'm me again."_ Wisdom voice sounded strained, it took her great effort to speak. For a moment her eyes wandered over his shoulder to where Eirlana stood. _"It gladdens me you are no longer alone."_ she smiled at him. " _You helped me. You set me free. Now you must endure. Guide me into death."_

Solas closed his eyes, swallowing down the lump in his throat. He knew what she was asking of him, and he wished there was another way. _"As you wish."_

Carefully he reached out with his magic, breaking down the essence of her being. Her energy dissolved into the air, returning back to the Fade. _"Dareth shiral"_ he whispered.

" _I am so sorry Solas."_ Eirlana didn't know what she should do or say. Tears glistened in her eyes seeing Solas grief. Even when the spirit was thankful they had come to help her, they had come too late, they had failed to save her.

.

"You did it! You defeated the demon."

Their moment of silent sorrow was rudely interrupted by the mage and his two companions.

"YOU!" Solas stormed towards him. "You tortured and killed my friend."

The mages backed off. "We didn't know it was just a spirit. The book said it could help..."

Solas' eyes burned with rage. He didn't want to listen to them any longer. How dare they call her just a spirit. They had done this, and they had to pay. Furious he set the mages ablaze, turning them into ash and heaps of coaled flesh.

In shock, Eirlana stared at him. This was a Solas she didn't know. For a brief moment, he was another being. One of vengeance, violence, and harbouring a power she had never seen before. It frightened her. Hesitantly she reached out to him. "Solas?"

Killing the mages did nothing for Solas. Sadness and anger boiled inside of him. His darkest thoughts surfaced, fuelled by his fury. "Damn them all!"

Why was he even trying, when this was what he gained in return again and again. He felt a hand touching his shoulder and whirled around, striking at whoever it was. A startled shriek brought him back. Eirlana held her arm he had just hit looking at him in disbelief.

This couldn't be. What had he done? He never wanted to hurt her. Guild, grief, pain and anger filled him. He needed time to calm down, to think. He needed to get away from here. Feeling guilty and upset he got on the Hart. Without looking at her, he said. "I am sorry. I... I need some time alone." and galloped away.

.

What had just happened? Eirlana gazed in the direction Solas had disappeared in. It was quiet, the flowing river and the songs of the birds only emphasising that he had left her behind. For a moment she didn't know what she should do. She was all alone in a region torn by war. She wanted to go after him, but without a mount, it would be difficult to catch up with him.

The vague sounds of hooves coming closer drew her attention. In the distance, she could see the riders approaching, the silhouette of Iron Bull easily recognisable among them. Quickly she looked around. The ground was scorched and burned from their battle, the coaled bodies of the mages were still hot. There was no way she could cover this up. She doubted Ryan would be bothered by some dead mages, but with Solas having killed them in an outburst, was another matter. They wouldn't understand he had killed them in anger to revenge the death of a spirit. She had to do something. With a little magic, she cooled down the lingering heat. Hoping it would be enough to fool the others.

Varric was the first one jumping off his horse. Bianca in hand, he rushed towards her.

"Snowflake are you okay? Where is Chuckles?"

Ryan and the others followed him swiftly. Seeing the apparent signs of battle they spread and kept an eye out for any more enemies.

"What is going on here?" Ryan demanded gruffly.

Using her shock about Solas' actions Eirlana kept staring vaguely in the distance, not immediately reacting to them. She had to wait for the right moment.

"Eirlana?" Worried Varric shook her carefully. "Where is Chuckles? What happened? Why are you alone? Tiny said you went for a ride."

"Eirlana?"

There it was, the wiggle room she needed. Smoothly the lies formed on her tongue, they had helped her to survive in the past, and it had become second nature to her. She would protect Solas. Focussing on the emotions she felt when he left, she turned towards Varric. Her eyes darted from him to Ryan, looking rattled.

" I... He left. Solas left." Tears started to glisten in her eyes.

"Calm down Snowflake. What happened?"

"I... We were going for a ride. We wanted to see the sunrise over the ruins." Using her shock from what had really happened, she began to talk more quickly, almost rambling. "They called to us. The mages. The mages called to us for help. They were fighting a spirit. We tried to stop them. We tried to help, but we were too late. It turned into a demon. It was horrible, it was in so much pain. It killed the mages." she bid her lip, almost mumbling to herself. "We had no other choice..."

"What about Chuckles? Why has he left?"

Focussing back on Varric, she shook her head slightly and fighting back her tears. "He... he was upset. How they used their magic, after yesterday. All this dark magic... it is wrong."

.

Iron Bull didn't say anything when Eirlana told her story. After she and Solas had left, he had warned the others that they had gone for a morning ride. It didn't take long before he and Varric followed a displeased Ryan and Cassandra on the trail that their elven mages had left behind. While Varric made jokes about some people needed couple time he kept quiet about his suspicions that their trip was anything but a romantic one. Without that knowledge, he would have believed every word Eirlana told them. She was good. Her emotions weren't faked, she was visibly upset, and her lies were more than believable. He already knew there was more to this quiet little mage than meets the eye, but he didn't think she was an expert liar. As a Ben-Hassrath he recognised the value of a good lie and judging by her performance she could teach his colleagues a thing or two.

After Ryan decided that Solas would return on his own, they made their way back to camp. Iron Bull offered Eirlana his horse and choose to walk next to her.

"You alright there kid?"

"Yes. I... Thank you." There was a moment of silence between them, an understanding that they both knew she had lied to the others. Iron Bull merely gave her a nod that it was alright. He knew better than anyone that everyone had their own reasons to lie. Even when in this case the reason was fairly obvious. He had no doubt in his mind that they didn't simply stumble on a spirit in need. And judging by the absence of Solas something had gone wrong.

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With a blast, Eirlana sent the approaching undead flying back. They were fighting their way to yet another pit. It had been days since Solas had left and she was worried sick. Hoping he would finally come back, she tried to sense his energy, something she had done many times the last couple of days. Distracted she barely reacted in time as another undead came at her. Moving back her foot stepped in something cold and slimy. Shuddering, she quickly moved, trying not to gag from the putrid smell of the corpse she had stepped on.

There was no end to this. Her days and nights were fusing together into one great nightmare Eirlana couldn't escape from. Without Solas' protection, she had been forced to witness the fall of the elven lands during her sleep. With the agitated spirits the screams of the dying, the roars of battle and the cries for help were flooding her mind as soon as she closed her eyes. She had tried and failed to recreate the shielding magic Solas used. With the memories overpowering her she was pulled into the cruel memories of the Exalted March. The destruction of innocent lives, humans and elves fighting to the bitter end, revenge and bloodlust fuelling the bloodbath, elves taken as trophies, screaming women being dragged away by groups of soldiers, children crying, families forcefully converted.

Every night and day had been the same. Her only brief moment of rest was in the early morning before they went out again to help the Orlesian troops. Eirlana felt uneasy dealing with them, she didn't trust the men behind the masks, their expressions hidden away. It didn't help either that the support Ryan offered often included her healing skills, giving her even less time to rest. As the days went on the never-ending cycle of battling, healing, barely sleeping continued without any indication that they would be finished anytime soon.

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Firing a flaming arrow, Varric set the last of the pits ablaze. After they sounded the all-clear signal, they heard a set of huge doors opening not far away from them. Battle-weary troops came outside, hungry, wounded, tired from the fighting and the burden of war. As always Ryan quickly approached their commander to discuss the situation. Eirlana waited, watching the troops wearily. Her discomfort only heightened when some of the soldiers whispered nasty remarks when they passed her. Trying to ignore them, she wondered what it was that gave them the right to treat elves that way. She could feel some of their eyes lingering on her from behind their masks like she was a piece of meat, another knife-ear they could pray on. With Ryan either not aware or ignoring this, she was glad that either Varric or Iron Bull were never far away from her.

As more troops emerged from their hiding spot, the wind turned, carrying the foul odour of sickness and infection. Having seen the other ramparts, she knew this would be the worst one yet. With a sigh she walked to were the Inquisition's troops were standing by, her work wasn't done yet. Her small team of healers already had gathered what would be needed. Eirlana had to laugh and shook her head at the thought of 'her'. Since when had she started to think in those terms?

Knowing the routine, and with a few of her directions, they quickly set up a small makeshift infirmary on a patch of grass outside the ramparts. With the Inquisition's soldiers already bringing out the first wounded, she hastily sorted through the herbs and salves she would need. With the first patients also came the Orlesian healers, who observed sceptically every action they made. With her getting the worst patients she ignored them snooping around, and focused on her work.

.

One of the Orlesian healers approached her after she had finished helping her sixth patient.

"Ehm Miss Eilena?" his voice sounded muffled behind his silver coloured mask.

"Eirlana. My name is Eirlana." she corrected him. Drying off her washed hands.

Not reacting to her correction he merely said. "Follow me and bring your things." and walked away. Expecting a critical patient that couldn't be transported Eirlana quickly grabbed an emergency pack and hurried after him. To her surprise, she was lead to a couple of men that at first glance seemed fine. Judging by a couple of bandages they had only minor injuries, nothing life-threatening.

One of the men leaning against a crate held out his bandaged arm. "Come on, get to work." He sounded almost bored as if this whole situation was a slight inconvenience.

Eirlana felt irritated that she had been called away from people that needed her help. Not wanting to cause a scene she said politely. "Sister Agnes will be happy to treat your injury." and she pointed in the direction of one of the nurses that were treating the minor wounds with bandages and salves.

There was some mumbling among them, and possibly a few eyebrows raised behind their masks. The Orlesian healer stepped towards her, visibly uncomfortable with what she just had said. "I am afraid you don't understand. It is your duty. Treat him."

She looked anew at the man before her. His beautiful made armor glistening in the sun. His mask decorated with small gems and fine details. He had to be a noble, someone important.

Not used to wait on his servants. "Get on with it elf." the noble gruffed at her.

"As I said sister Agnes would be happy to treat you."

"Do you have any idea who I am?" he asked her almost threatening, irritated by her refusal to treat him.

Eirlana stared at him, she was tired of it all. Tired of cleaning up the mess they had created. Angry that rank was more important to these people than helping those in need.

With her not reacting the nobleman stepped towards her, puffing out his chest as if he was some peacock. He was trying to intimidate her.

"I am Lord Dupont, nephew of the Comte de Mourier. Now do your work knife-ear!"

Something cracked in Eirlana. Not backing down she stood her ground. "I don't care who you are." she declared loudly, her voice firm, commanding, loaded with authority. "You are wasting my time."

Everything fell silent around her. People had stopped with what they were doing, and she could feel their eyes on her, watching her. For once she didn't care, she had enough.

She didn't see what the people around her saw. Even with the nobleman towering above her it was as if she was looking down on him. Her stance true, determined and confident.

"How..." the nobleman began to stammer, not used to be denied. "How dare you." His reached for his sword but halted when several Inquisition soldiers with hands on their swords stepped closer.

"Anything I can help you with Snowflake." Eirlana could hear Varric asking casually behind her, accompanied by the familiar clicks of Bianca.

Not taking her eyes off the nobleman, she smiled phony at him. "Sister Agnes is waiting for you. Of course, you are free to seek treatment **elsewhere**."

"You will regret this!" the nobleman threatened her.

The soldiers around them took one step closer.

"I doubt it." she answered. "Now leave!"

Fuming with anger the nobleman walked away, followed by some of his friends. Other Orlesians only stared, dumbfounded at what just had happened.

Varric, on the other hand, started to laugh hard. "Snowflake you are the best. Hawke wouldn't have done it any better pissing that ass off."

"Varric can you do me a favour?"

"Anything you need."

"Could you please check if those who really need help are brought out here?"

"Sure thing. Any tips what to look for?"

She grinned at him. "Look for those who look like shit."

"I can do that Snowflake. I can do that." he laughed at her excellent medical description.

.

In the distance Eirlana could see the soldiers working on the temporary bridge, that would bring them to the last pocket of trapped Orlesians. They had a day of rest after they had explored the swamp in the northern parts of the Exalted Planes. Ryan had decided to retreat from there after they discovered it was home to an enormous storm dragon. Apart from Iron Bull, she was probably the only one who desired to go back there. They had stumbled upon many elven relics and even found an underground burial chamber. She wanted to examine them more closely, especially something that looked like a pathway leading to two statues of Fen'harel. She was most curious what the frame they guarded once held. Hoping she could dream there someday, when the region and the Fade had calmed down she took her soap and towel.

Everyone around her was busy. Varric had pulled his notes out of his bag, writing down his latest observation. Iron Bull was enthusiastic telling about the dragon to a couple of scouts, using grand gestures. Cassandra and Ryan were polishing and checking their gear. Having some time to herself, Eirlana strolled to the river next to their camp. Leaning her staff against a rock, she rolled up her leggings and waded into the river. The water was refreshing and washed away the caked mud from her footwrappings. Kneeling on the shore, she opened her dress so she could wash her face and hair. With a bowl she poured water over her head, trying to get some of the dirt out of her hair.

Out of nowhere a hand covered her mouth, and she was grabbed from behind.

.

"What have we here? A pretty little rabbit to keep us company. We heard from Lord Dupont that you needed to be thought a lesson. You should know your place knife-ear."

Eirlana froze. Panic and horror set in as old memories were awoken by rough hands, smelly unwashed bodies and filthy groping fingers digging into her flesh. Parallelized with fear she was dragged further away from the camp.

No! Never again! She would not be taken!

With a loud bang she released a powerful wave, sending her attackers flying off of her. Her bodice ripped as the man holding her tried desperately to hold onto her. Free, Eirlana grabbed her staff and whirled around to face them. She was no longer that helpless girl, she could defend herself. Before the men could get back on their feet, she bombarded them with ice, freezing them to the ground. Coming to her aid, Iron Bull stormed past her. Roaring his battle cry, he crashed his broadaxe into the easy targets. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Varric, Ryan and Cassandra running towards her. No longer in danger, Eirlana started to shake, realising what just had happened. Feeling vulnerable and exposed she covered herself with her torn top.

One of the attackers tried to flee, noticing Cassandra's and Ryan's templar armor he ran towards them.

"Help she is an elven witch." hoping they would protect him.

Varric seeing Eirlana holding her torn dress close didn't even blink before he pulled the trigger.

"Snowflake, are you hurt?" He checked her up and down for any sign of injury. She shook her head, but he could see she was whey-faced and shivering. On their way back to camp she didn't say a word and headed straight to her tent.

Varric wanted to go after her but was stopped by Cassandra. She shook her head and gave him a pat on his shoulder. "Giver her some time."

All alone Eirlana buried herself in Solas' blankets. Surrounded by his lingering scent, she started to cry silently. She missed him. She wanted to hide in his arms, to feel safe again, to feel his warmth.

"Solas where are you." she sobbed. "Come back. I need you."

* * *

Muccle-Thank you so much! I try to stay as close as possible to everyone's character. Having romanced every possible companion I have a general idea how they are ;p. About the outfits, I am already afraid of putting the winter palace on paper. Having to describe my idea will be so hard.

LadyHawke-I know the feeling. Life isn't fair to writers and readers, always trying to interrupt. I have this story also posted on AO3 btw. Same title and pen name. Spoiler: You can look forward to a healthy dose of Smut at the winter palace ;)

Gallws-Lol another Ryan hater XD. Fun fact I live in the middle of a church-going community in the Netherlands. Ryan is loosely based on some of the discussions I have had. I don't know if I would call an pro-Chantry Inquisitor evil, it is just an option that not many players choose I think. I quite liked to play the how many people can I piss off Inquisitor. It gives you a refreshing view of the game ;) I am waiting on playing Trespassers with him, I think my choices of companions will be fairly limited.


	16. Chapter 16

Hey all,

Finally, some time to relax and much earned sweetness. (Idiot) Solas better has to patch things up or else I will kick his... oh wait this is my own fanfic ;p

Warning: contains glistening elf.

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Also, you may be noticing that the numbers of chapters have changed, I merged some of the earlier chapters to get are more consistent chapter length.

I hope I can keep my writing up, have done a lot of pre-work on the next chapters. Crossing fingers that my writing mood stays like this.

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The talented Noctuaalba (Noctuaalba. tumbrl. com) has made a beautiful commission drawing of this fic.

You can find it on

ahrorha. tumblr. co m (/post/173327292679/noctuaalba-solas-and-eirlana-for-ahrorha-after) (remove the () and the spaces)

* * *

 **Chapter 16**

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Solas felt terrible. He had killed one of his oldest friends, one of the very few he had left. One of the few who truly knew him. Who knew what he had been through, what he had done. Wisdom had always been was there for him, the one who he could always turn to for advice. Now she was gone, and it hurt. He felt alone, alone in his quest, in his purpose, in this altered world he had created.

Hidden away in an elven ruin, he spent his days asleep, searching the Fade far and wide, for any trace of her. Hoping that some part of her had survived. He found only faint traces of her energy, her purpose. Someday something new would form from them, but it would never be the same spirit again. Their shared experiences and friendship would remain only his memories, as so many things that had disappeared from this world.

As focused as he was to find his lost friend, Eirlana was never far from his mind. He felt guilty how he had treated her, how he had hurt her and left her behind. He had allowed his anger to overwhelm him. His control had slipped, and a dark part of himself had resurfaced, something he thought he had left in the past. At that moment he could see his own reflection in Eirlana's eyes, his ugly, violent, hateful side. The look she gave him was burned into his mind. Like a coward he ran away, leaving her abandoned. After all that she had done for him, what she meant to him, he had stabbed her in the back. He had violated the trust she had so willingly given him.

Solas sighed, almost a week had passed since then. Gliding his hand through the water, he hoped she would forgive him, though deep in his heart he knew he didn't deserve it. Satisfied with his preparations he took his hart at the reigns and headed towards the Inquisitor's camp. It was time he returned.

.

They had made good progress for one day. Finally, they were heading back to Skyhold, and Eirlana was relieved they left the nightmares of the Exalted Planes behind them. It had been hard seeing the horrible acts committed by both humans and elves alike in the brutality of that war.

In her tent, Eirlana rolled out both her and Solas' blankets and furs. 'Just in case.' she thought. Knowing it was more logical that, if he was ready to return, he would head to Skyhold. Her fingers slipped through the fur, hoping he was all right. Shaking off her worries she quickly changed into a more comfortable pair of leggings and a simple shirt. She paused a moment and decided to spend some more time at the fire before going to sleep.

It was a beautiful clear night, the reflection of a half moon sparkled in the river and lighted the hilly grassland. Draping a shawl around her shoulder against the chill Eirlana sat down and let her senses drift. She almost jumped to her feet when she detected Solas, he was close and moving towards them.

Noticing her leaving the camp Varric asked. "Where are you going Snowflake?"

"I need to..." she shuffled with her legs, pretending nature was calling.

Both he and Iron Bull had become more vigilant since she had been attacked.

"I won't go far." she tried to assure them. "And if you hear something explode you know what to do."

Getting the hint he was acting too protective, Varric laughed. "Just leave something for us. Be careful."

Aided by her elven sight, Eirlana moved quickly through the dark. She had to be quick and warn him.

Just having left the ruins, Solas froze when he heard movement. His heart skipped a beat when he recognised Eirlana running towards him. "Vhenan? What..."

Before he could say more, she pressed her fingers against his lips, shushing him.

"Listen." Eirlana whispered out of breath. "We haven't much time. I told them we went for a ride to see ruins in the morning sun. We found the mages battling a spirit and tried to stop them. It went wrong the spirit turned, killed the mages, and we ended its suffering. You were upset they also used dark magic to torture spirits, just like the pits we found. You left angry, needing some time alone." Knowing she had to return before the others would look for her, she ran back. "Give me some time."

On her way back she struggled to keep her emotions under control. Slowing down she forced her breathing back to normal. He was back. Soon they could talk.

"There she is." Iron Bull called to her when she joined them again. Several comments and laughs about ladies always taking longer were exchanged, before Varric was glared down by Cassandra. He should know better then to ask if she really was a lady.

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Hearing her brief instruction, Solas stared dumbfounded after Eirlana. He already prepared himself to defend his actions of trying to save his friend and his killing of the mages, but she had covered up his violent outburst. She had told a story close enough to the truth to be believable and yielded him the least amount of trouble. He was grateful she had lied for him, but also regretted that he had put her in a situation that she felt she needed to.

After enough time had passed, Solas continued his path. A group of patrolling guards were the first to spot him, and they accompanied him. Upon entering the camp, he noticed not everyone was pleased to see him, especially Ryan seemed to be cross with him.

"SOLAS!" Almost knocking over Varric's drink, Eirlana jumped to her feet and rushed to him. Letting her emotions free she flew into his arms.

Stumbling by her enthusiasm, Solas had to half catch her. Holding her in a tight embrace, he told her.

"I am sorry vhenan. I am so sorry."

They let go of each other after Ryan cleared his throat next to them. "Solas we need to talk."

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he followed Ryan to receive his scolding. After he apologised for his action and promising it wouldn't happen again, he returned. Only now he noticed how exhausted everyone looked, especially Eirlana, who had dark circles under her eyes. He wanted to get her away from here. Ignoring Varric, who looked like he wanted to have a stern word with him, he pulled her to her feet and towards their tent.

Expecting he wanted to talk more privately, she followed him. To her confusion, he started to roll up their blankets and furs, packing them.

"What are you doing?"

"I have something prepared for us." he said and continued.

Not understanding what he meant, Eirlana went quiet. Her initial relief that he was back made way for her pent-up emotions and stress. There was too much she had been through this past week.

Noticing her shift in mood Solas stopped and crouched towards her. He cupped her face and sat with her. "What is wrong?"

"What is wrong?" a mocking laugh escaped her. "Do you really have to ask? You were gone. I was worried sick. I didn't know where you were. If you were all right. When or if you were coming back." Her frustration and anger came spilling out. "You left me. Left me here in the middle of... of all this" she swung her arms around. Irritated that he just carried on as if nothing had happened.

Hearing, the hurt he had done, in her wavering voice Solas hung his head. Normally not lost for words he didn't know what to say. "Vhenan..."

"I... You didn't have to grieve alone." of all the things, this was maybe what hurt her the most. That he chose to be alone rather than let her be there for him.

"I am so sorry vhenan." he took her into his arms. "I didn't know what to do. It has been so long since I could trust someone."

Buried against his chest, she took a deep breath. Slowly calming down. "Where did you go?"

"At first I just rode for hours, until I came upon some abandoned ruins far away from any road or farm. I dreamed there, searching for any trace of her."

Knowing who he meant she raised her head and looked at him hopefully. "Did you find her."

Lowering his eyes, he shook his head. "Her purpose has survived, but it will never be her again."

.

By the time they slipped out of the tent, the rest had already gone to sleep. Only Iron Bull was still awake. He frowned when he saw Solas getting his mount. "And where do you think you are going?"

"To those ruins." Solas pointed towards some ruins visible in the distance, not too far away.

Iron Bull wasn't satisfied. "I don't want the same shit like last time happen again." He pointed at Eirlana. "If you aren't taking her somewhere nice I won't let you go."

"That I can promise you." he pressed a kiss on Eirlana's head. "I have a lot to make up to her."

"You know he will be pissed if he finds out."

"I know." Solas smiled at him and rode with Eirlana towards the ruins.

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Leaving the hart outside to graze, they entered the old elven bathhouse. Though it lay in ruins, traces of the beautiful mosaics of plants, flowers and birds were still visible. On his way back Solas had disrupted here some Venatori in their digging efforts for lost treasures. Seeing one of the baths was intact, he got an idea. He wanted to do something for Eirlana, to apologise for his actions. With the aid of a little magic, he managed to make the bath working again.

In amazement, Eirlana looked around. Shallow stairs let into the deep basin filled with clear water. Warmed by the heating stones Solas had reactivated, small wisps of steam escaped its surface. A few glowing orbs hovered in the air like fireflies, casting a warm, cosy light around them. It was lovely. The broken down arches gave a magnificent view of the river, where once was a roof countless stars sparkled in the sky.

Not far from the bath a small fire burned, Solas spread out their furs and blankets next to it, and unpacked the towels and soaps he had brought. It was luck that the Inquisitor had chosen to camp near this place. He noticed that his various wards, to protect them, were still active. With everything in place, he hoped this would become a night to remember. He wanted to show her how much he cared about her, how precious she was to him. To spend one night alone with her, away from prying eyes, to forget what had brought them here.

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With only his leggings on, Solas waded into the water. "Join me vhenan."

Eirlana started to blush, only now realising that he wanted to bathe with her. A little flustered she removed her shawl and leggings. Not feeling comfortable enough about being seen naked she kept her shirt on. With Solas already swimming she stepped into the delightfully warm water. As she went deeper, her shirt started to billow. Not wanting to be more exposed, she held it down and dipped her body under the water so it would stick to her skin.

Solas swam towards her when she staid on the stairs. After a few strokes, he rose out of the water.

Eirlana felt her stomach flutter as the water pearled of his broad shoulders and taut muscles. His wet skin glistening under the light of the glowing orbs. He was beautiful.

His breath stuck as he stepped closer. Her wet shirt was moulded to her curves and had become translucent. He could see the outline of her breast perfectly, with her dark nipples that had stiffened in the night air. He smirked when he caught her staring back, and looking away quickly. Apparently, he wasn't the only one who enjoyed the view. His desires inflamed, he took hold of her and pulled her deeper into the water.

"Solas! I can't swim." she exclaimed.

"Then you have to hold on." he grinned and continued swimming.

"Solas." She clung to him, laughing nervously when her feet couldn't reach the bottom.

Holding her waist, he helped her stay afloat. "Relax. You won't sink. Just peddle with your feet."

It didn't take long before she got more comfortable. Soon the air was filled with the sound of them splashing, laughing, giggling and her squealing whenever he let go of her.

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Floating close together, Eirlana's arms rested around Solas' neck. Looking deep into his eyes, she brushed her lips against his. "I missed you." and kissed him.

Solas pulled her closer, savouring the kiss. He exhaled deeply when they parted. "I missed you too."

Her braid had become undone, and her hair floated in the water like fine silk, almost glowing in the unique light of the moon. Stroking her cheek, his hands wandered down her neck. His fingers slipped under her choker and opened its clasp, uncovering her burns. He traced them softly with his fingers.

"You are so beautiful."

Another blush flushed Eirlana's face. Gazing into his eyes, she could only see his affection and admiration. She knew her body was a roadmap of the abuse she had suffered. Not that she thought she was ugly, but being called beautiful? Before she could object Solas captured her lips again. Feeling his love, his body moving against hers, Eirlana gave in. Her hands began to roam over his shoulders and back.

Enjoying her fingers gliding over his wet skin, Solas hummed in pleasure and deepened their kiss. Underwater their legs brushed more against each other. Sensing his growing arousal, Solas told himself to calm down, that he needed to take things slow. Just then her nails scraped teasingly over his shoulder blades. The wolf in him howled, pushing him to let his impulses take over. Nipping her lips playfully, his hand slipped under her shirt caressing her stomach. He felt her freeze up immediately.

Solas cursed himself; he had pushed her too far. This was not why he brought her here.

Instinctively Eirlana led go of him, covering herself with her arms. Her fear intensified when she saw his eyes. His pupils were dilated, making them dark, smouldering with desire and want. Part of her mind screamed at her, to flee, to get away. At the same time, she knew it was okay, that this was Solas, that there was nothing to fear.

"Sorry I..." in part she resented her reaction, but she knew she wasn't ready for this. The guilt and shame she felt made it only worse.

"It is alright." Solas pulled her with him to the stairs so they could sit down. There he held her and stroked her head, assuring her that it was okay until she calmed down.

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To break the awkward moment, Solas handed Eirlana the soap and hair-oil so they could wash. Initially, he had planned to help her with that, but he knew she needed a little more time. After they had finished, he sat with his back against the edge, and he beckoned her to join him. With his arms lying securely around her, and her head resting against his shoulder, they sat quietly gazing at the stars above them. Peacefully they listened to the sounds of the night drifting over the planes. The calls of the halla, the bats hunting above their heads and the occasional howl of a wolf in the distance.

"What are you thinking about?" Solas asked her after a while, his face brushing against hers.

"That they are some things, that luckily even we can't change."

"What do you mean?"

She pointed to the night sky. "We come and go, empires rise and fall, but the stars keep watching over us unchanged. If we had been alive eight hundred years ago, we wouldn't see anything different." she twisted her body towards him and giggled. "Do you know how lucky we are? Can you imagine how crowded it would have been back then at a night like this? We wouldn't have had the luxury of being alone."

Solas had to laugh, wondering how she could be so optimistic. Even among a sea of destruction, she was able to find beauty or see something positive. His arms still securely around her he leaned forward.

"Oh, I don't know about that." he whispered in her ear.

His voice sounded deep and full of promise, making Eirlana shudder lightly as goosebumps spread down her spine. Not buying his claim she challenged him. "You really think not a dozen other couple's would have come up with the same brilliant idea as you?"

"I would have simply taken you to my own baths."

"Your own?" Sceptically, she raised an eyebrow. But the bold and confident look he gave her, told her he wasn't joking. The strange perception she sometimes got about him returned. Making her want to question who he was or where he came from. She had heard the same story as the others. That he came from a small village far to the north, but unlike the others, she had been there. In his search of forgotten knowledge, her former master had brought her to almost every ruin in the Imperium he could find. She knew there was nothing out there but old stones, where Solas claimed his village was. Not for the first time, she thought he harboured secrets that went farther and deeper, then would be necessary for a 'simple' apostate to hide his identity, his past. His fluidity in Elvhen and his careful phrasing whenever he indicated time. She opened her mouth and saw his eyes tense up as if he knew he had said too much.

'How old are you?' was the first the question that lay on her lips but kept unspoken.

Solas cursed himself; he had slipped up. Comfortable and at ease, he had let his guard down. It was not his first time, and he knew she already suspected that he was different. Already having several half-truths prepared, he anxiously waited for what she would say next.

Eirlana could feel his tension. Whatever he was hiding he wasn't ready to share it with her jet.

"A own bath. That would be nice." She smiled and leaned back against him. When Solas began to relax again, she knew she had made the right decision. Even if her assumption was correct and he was one of the survivors that had awakened, it could be dangerous for him if people would discover it. Like no other, she knew that some things are better to be kept secret and hidden away, especially from the humans. It was also possible he was protecting others. Believing he would confide in her someday, she took hold of his hand. Entangling it with her own, she raised it out of the water and kissed it. "Thank you, for coming back."

Closing his eyes, Solas held her tightly. Pressing his lips to her temple, he wished he wasn't the lord of deception. That not millennia of secrets rested on his shoulders. That one day he could tell her the truth.

"Thank you for being who you are." he whispered to her.

.

Slowly Solas let go of her, and his hands wandered lightly up her arms. Brushing his lips along her neck, he placed soft kisses down to her shoulder. Eirlana sighed and tilted her head. She didn't notice his fingers tugged at the top strings of her shirt, opening it and slipping it off her shoulders. She froze again, holding onto her shirt, she looked over her shoulder at him.

He could see her apprehension in her eyes. Pressing a kiss to her temple, he mumbled. "Don't worry vhenan. Nothing is going to happen."

With little pressure, his hands started to move, massaging the tense muscles in her neck and shoulders. Little by little she relaxed, but he could tell how tired and stressed out she was. He wanted to show her how precious she was, make her feel loved without the tension of sex hanging like a sword above them. To show her that there was nothing to fear.

She squeaked when his hand moved under her legs and lifted her out of the water.

Before Eirlana could object Solas carried her to where he had laid out their towels. Giving her space to shed her wet clothes, Solas hastily dried himself off and changed into a pair of dry leggings. After stoking the fire and rearranging their blankets, he turned back to her.

Wrapped in a towel, and her wet clothes spread out over a fallen pillar, she was wringing out her hair.

"Here let me." With a little of his magic, he created warm air, helping her hair dry a little. With practice, she quickly brushed it and secured it back into her usual braid.

"Solas?" Eirlana exclaimed as he picked her up again. "I can walk you know."

"Oh I know." he laughed at her and carried her to their fur bedding next to the fire.

"Please lay down on your stomach."

Curious at what he was planning she lay down. Enjoying the heat of the fire against her skin, she listened to him shuffling behind her. A blanket was spread out over her, covering her from the waist down. Kneeling beside her Solas tugged lightly at her towel, unwrapping her body.

"Solas what..."

He brushed her cheek. "Please vhenan. You have nothing to worry about." he reassured her.

Trusting him, she let him pull the towel away. Nervously she waited, feeling vulnerable and exposed. He paused a moment, seeing for the first time the full extent of the scars she had gained from her captivity and years of enslavement. Though they shared the same living space, he had always been careful to give her the privacy she required. It angered him. How could anyone do this? Especially to her. Her back and arms were covered with a criss-cross of small and more prominent scars, from burns, cuts, beatings and whiplashes. Some of them were old, slowly fading away. Others were still dark and angry red.

.

Solas noticed Eirlana began to fidget as he stared at her back. Setting his anger aside he took the flower-scented oil and let it drip over her spine. He had to smile when she gasped at the cold liquid flowed over her skin. Warming his hands with a little magic, he set to work. Aided by the oil his hands glided over her back, caressing her body. With ease he began to knead her overworked muscles, his fingers and thumbs slowly increasing pressure whenever he found a knot.

With her head resting on her hands, Eirlana let out a groan. Gradually she felt the warmth of his hands and the oil seeping into her body, removing a tension she didn't know she carried with her. Closing her eyes, she surrendered and indulged herself.

It had been a while since Solas had done this, but his fingers quickly remembered. It felt wonderful to touch her skin, to feel her trust. She looked absolutely breathtaking in the warm glow of the fire, and he wanted to worship every part of her. The soft moans escaping her lips were music to his ears, and her pale skin was starting to glow beautifully in a healthy pink. In intervals he released healing magic at places where she had the worst scars, hoping it would help a little. Having finished with her back, he pressed several kisses on her shoulder. He laughed when she made a sleepy and satisfied murmur. Covering her with her shawl, he folded the blanket up and started to work down her legs.

Eirlana was dosing off, feeling warm, safe and enjoying every stroke of Solas' hands. She inhaled deeply when he reached her feet. Curling her toes, she hummed in pleasure when his fingers glided over her callous soles and slipped between her toes. She felt her body tingle when he bent her feet and pressed down on certain points.

Solas drank in every sigh and moan she made. He was glad he had taken the time to arrange this.

Having massaged everything, she would be comfortable with, Solas noticed Eirlana was struggling to stay awake. After making sure her shawl was still wrapped securely around her, he unfolded the blanket and tugged her in. Like a cat she stretched, smiling fondly at him with her eyes half closed. Moving quickly Solas dispelled the orbs of light, checked the wards one last time, attended the fire and hung their clothes to dry.

Eirlana waited and raised their blanket when he had finished so he could slip in with her.

With hooded eyes, she mumbled "That was wonderful." and kissed him tenderly. Half asleep she nestled herself against his warm torso. A shudder spread through Solas, feeling her partially naked body against his skin. She took his breath away; her parted lips inviting him to taste her. Her strange form of innocence was sometimes difficult to handle, how she could be so oblivious to the desires she enticed. Wishing he had thought about a change of clothes for her, and glad his leggings were somewhat hiding his arousal, he draped his arm around her.

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he whispered. _"Ar lath ma."_

At that moment the world became smaller. It centred around their small fire. For a brief moment, Fen'harel didn't exist. There was only her and him. Content and at peace the wolf fell asleep...

* * *

Ar lath ma - I love you

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Some explanation of Eirlana's knowledge about the ancient elves.

Based on finding a whole bunch of ancient elves at the temple of Mythal, Solas conversation with Abelas and the existence of Felassan. I concluded that there are more ancient elves alive, either in uthenera or walking around keeping a low profile. Having seen a lot of ancient elven places Eirlana has discovered elves that were still asleep, hidden away from the outside world, like those at the temple of Mythal. This is the reason she is not totally freaked out by the idea Solas is much older then anyone thinks. With the knowledge of uthenera being obscure at best, she, of course, doesn't suspect just how old Solas really is. With the line between legends and the truth obscured, especially in the Fade, she only knows the basics of uthenera, and that its practice was lost, like so many other things.

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Xenocanaan - I agree, Varric is the best, especially his chesthair ;) And don't worry about Ryan he will be back to his old ways soon.


	17. Chapter 17

Bloody Orlesians. As much I find the quest in the Winter Palace brilliant, the whole concept of nobles playing the 'Game' makes me wanna kick them.

In this chapter, Ryan is back to his charming self (some of you commented he had a moment in the previous chapter, fear not he is back XD ). I had a hard time to figure out how to describe decorations, clothing and the judging atmosphere without repeating some words over and over again.

This has become a very long chapter. So much is happening before and during the ball, that I didn't want to cut in two. Also, I didn't want to rush to the last part of this chapter, because finally, the moment has arrived for some SMUT. I give out a warning if you are not comfortable with reading the details don't read the part between the double lines, but I think most of you will look forward to it.

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Thank you for all the nice comments.

Enjoy ;)

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guest, about your comment on my timeline. I know Solas is awake about a year now. In my story, he is still recuperating from being in a coma basically for a couple of thousands of years. I tried to build in why you are walking around with a powerful ancient elf, that can only cast ice bolts and a shield at the beginning. Grandpa needs some time to get on his feet again ;p

* * *

 **Chapter 17**

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Skyhold was buzzing with activity on their return. The actions of the Inquisition in the Dales had resulted in a flood of correspondence, visitors and delegates from all over Orlais. This together with the preparations for the ball at the Winter Palace, had Josephine running from one meeting to the next. She even had made schedules for everyone with lessons in etiquette, dancing and court politics. Everything was being checked and planned, from their luggage to their individual roles at the ball. It were hectic days, but considering their objective, it was no wonder Josephine was going the extra mile.

A few days before they would leave Eirlana and Solas were called to Josephine's office. Eirlana groaned. "I swear, if I have to hear one more time how to correctly hold a glass, I will turn all the drinks into ice."

Solas chuckled, he was happy she was her usual self again and that she had forgiven him. They had talked a lot during their journey back to Skyhold, and he had shared with her how important Wisdom was to him and why he had reacted the way he did. Of course, he had been careful not to tell too much, he couldn't afford another slip-up, like before. He even had made amends with Varric and Iron Bull, and he was grateful they had watched over Eirlana in his absence. When they told him about the attack on her, he was horrified. He carefully confronted Eirlana about what had happened to her afterwards. She shrugged it off as if it wasn't a big deal, but Solas could see at her whole demeanour that it was an act. She was trying to push it aside, as he suspected she did with many things. Until deep in the night they talked, slowly and with patience she opened up to him. With her buried against his chest, he listened to some of the things she had endured. His heart ached hearing details from her past, wishing he could take some of her pain away. He kept holding her, murmuring sweet words and encouragements, knowing he could do nothing more than be there for her. He promised himself that night, he would do anything in his power to protect her, to keep her safe, and if he could make her happy.

"Aren't you tired off all these lessons?"

Amused by Eirlana's unusual reluctance to learn something new Solas smirked. "Not really."

She looked sceptical at him. "You can't tell me you prefer them over burying your nose in some dusty old tome."

"But my Lady." he opened the door for her and made a grand bow towards her. "How else would I learn how to properly treat you with the respect you deserve."

Seeing his smirk on his face, she giggled; clearly, he was mocking the lessons they had received. With another ridiculous bow, he opened the next door leading to Josephine's office. She elbowed him playfully on his arm when they entered.

Josephine looked up from the different stacks of letters before her. "Ah, you have come. I am happy to report your request for access to the University of Orlais has been granted. Sadly due to our busy schedule, you won't be able to ride for Val Royeaux at the moment, instead the University has provided an inventory of their library. You can compile a list of titles you want to study, and we will arrange for them to be sent to Skyhold. It may also be of interest to you that you have permission to visit the Royal Libraries during our stay at the Winter Palace, courtesy of Grand Duke Gaspard."

She sorted through the letters and pulled out a few. "We have also received several letters inquiring about you miss Eirlana. Your efforts in the Dales has gained the attention of some smaller but influential families. The University of Orlais has requested information about your healing methods and has extended a formal invitation for you to visit them. You will be able to speak with some representatives at the Winter Palace. Judging from the nature of the letters they may offer you a place among them. Of course, you are free to choose to follow another path, but know that everyone in the Inquisition greatly appreciates you and your skills."

Eirlana didn't know what to say. In her mind, she had done nothing special, only that what she thought was right as a healer. It made her happy to hear that some of her efforts were recognised, but she didn't know what to think of the invitation from the University. Her experiences in Orlais made her sceptical about their intentions. Though having access to their medical knowledge could be beneficial for her, the other healers of the Inquisition and most importantly the patients.  
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"Solas, Eirlana, there you are." Leliana entered Josephine's office with Ryan, Iron Bull and Dorian in tow. "Please follow us to the war room if you have finished."  
They thanked Josephine and followed them, Leliana came immediately to the point. "We have received new reports about the movements of the Venatori. According to my informants, they keep searching and digging in old ruins, especially if they are of elven origin. They have been sighted in these locations." she pinned several markers on the giant map lying across the table. "As for what they are looking for we still don't know."

Solas was relieved to see that the places they were searching weren't crucial to his plans, but it was still vexing that they were looking in the first place. "If I have to guess they are looking for something that could help them in their goals. With the orb being ancient elven magic, they may be searching for more of such items and other forgotten magic. Judging by their locations, it is hard to tell if they are looking randomly, chasing rumours or have specific targets."

Leliana nodded. "We will be keeping an eye on them. I have also gathered more information about their leader. It is a mage named Calpernia, she has taken over the leadership of the Venatori. We know only a little about her earlier life. She is a former slave of a magister Erasthenes. As far as I can determine, the magister disappeared several months ago, together with her. "

"Erasth..." Dorian brushed his moustache. "I know him. He is an old geezer, more interested in his tomes and books than anything else. He is renowned in the Imperium for his knowledge of the Old Gods and has written many long and dull papers about them."

"This isn't much information we have about this Calpernia." Ryan stated, his forehead wrinkled as he scanned the various reports. "Say Eirlana you were once a slave."

Most of the room went silent and stared at him for his blunt remark. Solas felt bile coming up, furious he glared at him. Eirlana put her hand on his, signalling it was alright.

"Yes, I once was a slave."

"Why would she join Corypheus and do his bidding? Would she be loyal to this new master?"

Wondering if he also questioned her own loyalty to their cause, she pondered about his question. "I think, it is safe to say, with Calpernia now in a leading position of the Venatori, that Corypheus had a hand in the disappearance of the magister. As for her loyalty, I don't know. What I can tell you from experience is being freed isn't something that any slave would take lightly. I will never forget that day in my life, and I will always be grateful towards Solas, but that doesn't mean I would follow his every wish or decision. I have a mind of my own, and so does this Calpernia. She must have her own plans and reasons why she is helping him, but judging by Corypheus actions so far, I doubt they have the same agenda. He must have offered her something that she wants. I can't tell you what it is, but I can tell you she must be a capable woman. Leading people is not an easy matter as you know by own experience."

Several people around the table smirked, knowing Eirlana's remark wasn't meant as a compliment. Solas was proud of her, but his heart also tightened when she mentioned him. It was bittersweet to know she wouldn't follow his every wish or decision. Even he himself wouldn't, but there hadn't been any other way, and now there was no other choice. He couldn't change what had happened or what was to come, he had to finish what he had set in motion so many millennia ago.  
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It was already late in the morning when Varric entered the Herald's rest. He knew he shouldn't have stayed so long at the game of Wicked Grace last night, but it had been the last opportunity before they would head to the dreaded Winter Palace. Ordering a late breakfast with lots of strong coffee, he joined Iron Bull and Blackwall at a table. "How is your head tiny? You look like you haven't slept at all."

Iron Bull only grunted and continued to devour his big serving of bacon and eggs. Dorian joined them a few minutes later, like always well groomed and impeccably dressed, but he moved and sat down awkwardly.

"You all right Sparkles?"

"Expect from the headache from that horrible ale you served me last night, I am fine thank you."

"You didn't have to drink it."

"What? And miss out on all the fun to drink something that tastes like it was brewed in the Fallow Mire at the bottom of a tar barrel. I can still taste it on the back of my tongue."

"Is that what you taste?" Iron Bull grinned at Dorian and received a deadly glare in return.

Varric was more awake in an instant, he obviously had missed something when he went to bed last night. Before he could ask any further, they were all distracted by Eirlana walking briskly into the inn. She ignored them entirely and marched straight to Cabot, the bartender. "Cabot, have our supplies arrived?"

The dwarf nodded. "I will get them for you."

"Everything okay Snowflake?"

She turned around and was surprised she had walked past them. Varric motioned for her to join them and poured her a cup of thee from one of the pots on the table.

"Here, you look like you have been running around all morning."

With a sigh she sat down, thankful she could take a short break.

"So who got on your nerves?"

Warming her hands around the mug, Eirlana let out another sign. "Ryan." This peeked everyone's interest around the table. "I tried to talk with him about moving the infirmary. There is room here in the fortress, but he wants to create more housing space for the templars and new training grounds." frustrated she kept going. "How does he expect for people to do their jobs or fight when they can't even recover decently. The clinic is still outside in large tents. We can barely keep them warm and not to mention it isn't exactly peaceful being next to the huge training grounds we already have. Our patients can't even get a good rest with the constant yelling, shouting and weapons clanging."

Dorian looked bleary-eyed at her and groaned. "How can be so awake and full of energy after last night?"

"Maybe I need to come up with a new nickname." Varric joked.

Eirlana only noticed now that they were all nursing severe hangovers, especially Dorian, who grunted and tried to find a more comfortable position to sit.

"You sure you are alright Sparkles?"

Eirlana saw he was in pain. "Are you not feeling well?"

"I am fine." he groaned. "Please go bother someone else."

"Oh yeah, Dorian about last night..." Iron Bull grinned at him from across the other side of the table.

Dorian facepalmed himself. "Discretion isn't your thing, is it?"

"I was just wondering if you want your silky underthings back? Found them after you slipped out this morning. Did you leave them as a token? Or wait, did you 'forget' them so you'd have an excuse to come back?"

Blackwall almost chocked in his coffee, and Varric froze, his fork full of sausage halfway to his mouth.

"If you choose to leave your door unlocked like some savage, I may or may not come."

"Oh, you came. Three times if I remember correctly."

"WHAT?!" came Sera's voice from upstairs, dangling upside down at her feet over the railing.

Dorian groaned now he was sure that everyone would know about his little tryst with Iron Bull by noon. Varric had already pulled out his notes and was writing feverishly, mumbling. "This is getting better and better."

Contemplating if it would be wiser to go back to bed, he noticed Eirlana scooting closer to him. Discretely she hovered her hand over his lower back. The pleasant tingle of her healing magic spread over him, taking away the edge. Letting out a sigh of relief Dorian muttered. "Thank you."

Outside the midday bell was ringing, Varric put away his notes and took one last bite. "We better get packing, or I promise you Josephine will watch us do it, and I for one don't want a lesson in how to properly fold clothes."

With everyone leaving Eirlana took the bottles of alcohol from Cabot and walked back to the clinic, she had a lot to finish before they would leave the next morning.  
.

Restless Eirlana put her book away for the fourth time, she couldn't get used to being at the Winter Palace. They had been housed in one of the many guest buildings, that was a smaller version of the Palace itself. The decadence of the place irked her, everything was lustrous marble, heavy brocade, inlaid and embroidered with gold and silver. There was nothing personal to be found, everything was polished and enriched to show off the power and opulence of the Orlesian Empire. She was anxious about tonight's ball, not that she hadn't prepared for anything imaginable, but her past experiences with nobles weren't the best. Tired of wandering through her own room, she slipped into Solas' through the small discrete door of their adjoined chambers.

Solas sat comfortably in a lounge chair, reading in front of the open balcony doors. The room had changed in the two days that had been here. He had moved some of the furniture around, and an extra table had been brought in. On it, several books were spread out, opened and marked at various passages, his written notes lying scattered among them. The clothes he had worn lay discarded on a sofa, next to his open clothing-chest that was rummaged through. Looking around, Eirlana couldn't help but laugh, even surrounded by all this display of wealth and glitter he was acting like he was at home.

Solas raised his eyes up from the book he was reading. "Something amuses you, vhenan?"

"It seems like you have made yourself at home here." She began to fold and put away his clothes, shaking her head at how much he had managed to get the room in disarray in such a short time. She wondered how a man, who was so precise and careful in his studies and paintings, could have such a hard time doing the most simple mundane tasks. It struck her how relaxed he was, as if he belonged here, not a stranger to the overbearing riches surrounding them. His presence calmed her down, and she was relieved he would be at her side tonight. Having finished tidying up a little, she took a cushion and sat down at his feet, leaning against his legs. Solas continued to read, but his hand reached out to her, softly stroking her head and neck. Enjoying the simple gesture, Eirlana stole loving glances at him. It was comforting he was acting like this was any other place, he hadn't wavered even once since they had arrived. With a confidence out of this world, he walked around as if he had visited the Winter Palace countless times before. She took his hand and let her lips glide over the back of it. Exhaling Solas looked down at her. Seeing his warm gaze made her heart flutter. Making occasional eye contact, she slowly kissed along his hand, his nostrils flared when she reached his fingertips.

"Careful vhenan, you are playing with fire." he growled.

After the Dales, Eirlana felt more comfortable at being intimate, knowing that she could trust him made her more confident. Teasingly she scraped her teeth over his fingertip, making him groan. It was somehow empowering that she could do this to him, that she alone could so easily chip his masks away. He showed her parts of himself only she knew. She squealed when he suddenly pulled her up and onto his lap. His book fell forgotten to the ground. Laughing she tried to escape from his entrapping arms.  
"I have warned you." he hummed and started to peck her on her nose and face.

Suddenly he gasped when she touched him with an ice-cold hand.

"I think I can handle fire." she smiled at him challenging, biting playfully in his nose.

"You little..." before he could finish his sentence they were kissing.  
.

There was a knock at the door. "Excuse me Sir, but do you know... Oh, I beg your pardon."

It was Rosie one of the elven servants within the Inquisition. "Sorry for the interruption, but I have been looking for you, Miss. Your bath is ready." She had been appointed to them for a couple of weeks now. At first, Eirlana had been reluctant to have a servant, but Rosie's charming open personality had made quick work of any objections she had. "Don't worry Miss, you have your job, and I have mine. Mine just happens to be to make your life a little easier." she had said when she introduced herself to them.  
Trapped in Solas' arms Eirlana flustered "My bath? But the ball isn't until tonight."

"And we have to get you ready. There is so much to do. After the bath, we must prepare and curl your hair, manicure your feet and hands. I have some..."  
Rolling her eyes Eirlana groaned. "All right, I am coming."

Amused Solas listened, he was glad that they were getting along, especially because Rosie was one of his spies. Under those blond curls, rosy cheeks and friendly smile lay a natural snoop and a woman who could take care of herself. She had the critical task to listen in to the whispers behind their backs and warn him if anyone tried to pry around, especially when they were gone. His secrets were well hidden, but it was good to know who was interested in them. It was also a reassuring thought someone was looking after Eirlana when he was away.

Eirlana leaned against him before she slipped from his arms with a sigh. Reluctantly he let go of her. He was thrilled that she was becoming more comfortable in her own skin, but especially on days like these, when she was exploring her own comfort zone, it was difficult for him to pull back. It took him a while, after they had left, before he could focus on his reading again.  
.

Checking himself in the mirror one last time, Solas couldn't help but smirk. They may introduce him as a servant tonight, but no one in their right mind would believe it. He was wearing a set of tight dark brown leather leggings, his foot-wrappings, made from the same material, were wrapped in a criss-cross pattern halfway up his calves. His long, high collared, sleeveless vest, was made from heavy brocade. The dark brown fabric was richly embroidered with golden leaves and branches, with deep red and black details. The vest had a split in the back, and a cuff of dark fur attached over his right shoulder, decorated with a pin of the Inquisition. Around his waist, a tan leather belt embellished with golden leaves was bound. Under the vest, he wore a tailored white silken shirt with slightly billowing sleeves. As a finishing touch, he put on a pair of dark brown leather gloves, with an elven leaf pattern stitched onto them. Pleased with himself he took the elongated jewellery box that lay ready and went to the hall to join the others.

Noticing his change in appearance a few eyebrows were raised.

"Well, you will certainly ruffle some feathers tonight." Dorian commented.

"Hmph." Vivienne huffed clad in a golden and red evening gown with one of her signature wide standing collars and headdresses. She was clearly not impressed with his non-hedge-mage appearance.

"Oh, my." Dorian said, and Solas turned to where he was looking.

"Maker's breath." Cullen whispered, and Varric whistled softly when Eirlana came down the stairs.

Lost for words Solas could only stare at her, it was a sight he would remember forever.

Where he and the others had chosen for heavy fabrics, golden and bold colours, she was a breath of fresh air. She wore a gown with a tight white bodice, a high neckline and a white chocker. An oval opening on her chest showed a little of her skin. The white sleeves were elongated over the back of her hand and attached to her middle finger. A long skirt started at her hips and was made of several layers of a very light fabric. They were cut diagonal at different lengths and dyed in various shades of blue and white. They moved beautifully with every step she took. Over her bodice, she wore a low cut tight jacket, in a rich darker blue tone. From its shoulders fell long open flared sleeves, that were bound together in intervals along her upper arms. The fabric was silvery embroidered with an old elven leaf-pattern. When she walked, her bare toes slipped from under her skirt. Her hair was partially pinned up in an elegant updo of several loose braids and twisted tresses. The rest hang loose in a long waterfall of curls and waves. Expect for a silver pin of the Inquisition, she wore only one piece of jewellery. A single silver earpiece, depicting an elfroot plant that curled along and around her ear. Tiny silver chains hung down at the tip of her ear, emphasising she was elven. A hint of make-up adorned her lips and eyes. Joining the others, Eirlana walked towards Solas.  
"You look beautiful." she smiled at him and blushed lightly, surprised at her own comment.

Solas chuckled. "That would be my line, my Lady." He bowed before her and gave her a courtesy kiss on her hand. Then he leaned towards her and whispered. _"Vhenan, you are a vision. You take my breath away."_ making her blush a shade deeper.

Ryan was the last to join them, with everyone gathered they got to the carriages and horses. An honour guard was waiting to accompany the Inquisitor to the main entrance of the Winter Palace. Solas had chosen to ride his hart for the short trip, giving him the opportunity to leave if he needed to. With everyone moving he held onto Eirlana's hand and waited.

"Vhenan, I have a gift for you." he handed her the jewellery box.

Surprised she stared at it and him before she stammered. "Solas. I... Thank you." Carefully she opened it. On a cushion lay a beautiful necklace composed of strings of small silver snowflakes, some of them embedded with tiny blue stones. At its centre was a silver pendant, depicting a wolf asleep in the snow. With its head resting on its tail it lay protectively curled around a bright blue crystal.

"It is lovely." Carefully she touched it with her fingertips, she was amazed at the level of detail of the engravings down to the wolfs fur.

"Here let me." Solas took the necklace and stepped behind her. Her heart was beating wildly when she lifted her hair, so he could secure it around her neck.

Touching the pendant, she smiled shyly at him. "Thank you, it is wonderful."

A warmth spread through him, he had designed the necklace especially for her, the wolf meaning so much more to him than the old elven sign of protection. It was his symbol, a part of his name, a part of who he was, but it was also a representation of how he felt about her and how she affected him. Hoping that one day he could tell her the truth about himself he lifted her on his hart and rode after the others.  
.

The ball was drenched in all the flaunting and boasting Solas expected. They had spared no expense for the peace-talks. Grant crystal chandeliers hung from the ceilings, shining their glittering light on the polished marble floors, and the golden surfaces of the pillars, statues, furniture or even the simple door handles. Draperies of blue satin and brocade decorated the halls and walls, and a heavy scent of incense and perfumes hung in the air. Servants in elegant uniforms and simple royal masks walked around, their trays filled with countless small artworks of dishes, and crystal glasses filled with the best wines Orlais could offer, all eagerly consumed by the many guests. Everyone with a shimmer of a title had come to witness the outcome of tonight and to steal a glimpse at the fabled Inquisitor. Dressed to impress they tried to outshine each other, in huge gowns, puffed sleeves, ruffles, grand hats, masks heavily inlaid with jewels, tightly tied corsets and colourful fans.

If you walked around, you wouldn't suspect that the country was at war, not to mention suffering from the aftermath of the Breach and the rifts. Nothing had changed Solas thought, even after thousands of years had passed, the people in power still fought and played their silly pitiful games, never satisfied, always wanting more. Hidden behind their masks, they were slaves to their prestige, wealth and titles, thinking that they were more important than any other being on earth. Attached from what was really important they fought like hens and roosters in a henhouse, always trying to better their status.

With some amusement, Solas noticed that more than one pair of eyes behind the masks was directed at him and Eirlana, as they made their way to their designated area. Whispers followed them through the halls. "Even the Inquisitor has brought elves." "Tsss, I would watch your jewellery, if I were you." "Is this even allowed?" "Celene's orders my dear." "Never seen one like that." "Where can I get one of those?" They clearly didn't know what to make of them. He felt Eirlana tensing up next to him; clearly, a little overwhelmed by all the people and whispers around them. Leaning closer to her ear he spoke softly in elven so no one could understand them. _Don't worry vhenan. Remember under those masks they are just people. If it helps imagine, them in Viviennes dress."_

 _"Solas."_ she gasped, a little shocked by his boldness, but she smiled imagining just that.

.

Iron Bull watched the two elves with renewed interest, especially Solas. His whole demeanour had transformed, something that couldn't just be explained away by his change of clothes. He knew that there was very little that could rattle the quiet apostate, but he didn't expect him to be this calm and composed. He stood out. He was walking around with an ease and confidence, like he was used to these gathering. It was as if he were of noble birth himself, something that wasn't possible. Bull had to grin when Solas talked softly to Eirlana, his eyes and movements telling everyone who watched them that she was his and that they shared an intimacy no one could touch. A couple of noble ladies even blushed and started to whisper behind their fans, as if they had seen something private and forbidden. As amusing as it was Iron Bull couldn't help but feel something was off. He had spent some time to discover more about them after the tip-off form Dalish but found nothing. They both were very diligent in their work and helping the Inquisition, almost a little too diligent in his opinion. Nothing had jumped out apart from their unique views on magic, and the occasional disagreement with Ryan. Making a mental note to dig a little more into their pasts he directed his attention back to the nobles and servants, every single one of them liars, spies and schemers, it would be hard to find out who was lying about what.  
.

The ball soon turned into the bloody and twisted affair they all had feared. Solas found it almost disturbing how Ryan was handling the nobles and the Game with an alarming ease. Whenever the ball permitted it he, Ryan, Cassandra and Blackwall slipped away to uncover the secrets and plots behind the scenes. It didn't came as a shock to Solas to see that the servants and guards had paid with their lives for this pity feud within the royal family. Like always the common people were paying the price, just like the People had paid his. As expected the Venatori had infiltrated the palace, the challenge was to find out who amongst the more influential people was colluding with them.  
The runs behind the scenes were always short and quick, so they would be back before the Inquisitor would be missed. After checking himself for dirt and blood, Solas walked around, before returning to his post in one of the side wings. With growing interest, he studied the people around him and was surprised at how he was soaking up the dense layer of intrigue, plays of power, danger and sex. It was a silent pleasure he hadn't indulged in for so long, the open secrets, the fainted interests and amazement, the little well placed accidental touches, fake giggles and subtle whispers. It reminded him of the feasts of Elvhenan, of what once was his home, though with far less magic, boasting and obsequious flattery. Everyone was acting, watching, faking, no one was bold enough to be themselves. Even he was playing a role, though he was showing more of his true nature then he originally had planned.

An elven servant tried her best to look seductively at him, as she filled his glass again. Solas noticed he was enjoying the attention he was getting, the stolen glances of the nobles, the elves watching him with interest. It was just like everyone used to watch him back in Arlathan. He was the wild card, dangerous, trusted and feared by everyone. Even when his world had been rotten to the core, it also had its beauty, freedom and unlimited potential. His ears twitched when he heard another demeaning remark about the elves. It was repulsive how the nobles saw them as nothing more like objects, lesser beings, mere sub-humans to do their bidding. Officially there was no slavery in Orlais, but he knew that most elves toiled for meagre wages. There were exceptions of course, highly trained entertainers and bards that were kept by the nobles like prized pets or possessions.

Strolling through the halls, Solas got sight of Briala. He already had a brief encounter with her, hunting down some Venatori. In her short chat with the Inquisitor, she gave him the impression she was a capable and very calculating woman. In just the few months she possessed the key to part of the eluvian network, she had used it very efficiently to rally the elves of Orlais. Seeing the hardened woman giving polite smiles if need be, he was reminded of Felassans companionship towards her. Solas knew he had to approach Briala someday, to get the key he needed to rewrite and take control of the eluvians. Observing her a while, he wondered how Felassan could have seen **her** in Briala. Even when he now saw she was resourceful and brave to stand up for her people. It was a far cry from what **she** had done and the way **she** had changed him. His eyes wandered to Eirlana, who was talking with Josephine to some nobles, wondering who was changing him more. His stomach fluttered seeing Eirlana standing amongst them, she was one of the most kind-hearted, strongest, loving, beautiful and intelligent people he had ever known. He shook his head, **she** had been right, he hadn't known what love was, that is until now. He noticed a group of nobles whispering and pointing towards Eirlana. One of them, an older man, Solas recognised, the Lord of Val Colline, nicknamed the Pig of Colline, a man with a horrible reputation, with a distinct taste for elves according to the reports. To some extent, Solas didn't mind the growing attention Eirlana was receiving, but seeing the openly lusty stares, especially from such a man, as if she was some trophy to conquer and posses, had him on edge.  
.

It was over, more blood had been spilt, another scheme completed and a new puppet sat on the throne. Solas took a sip of his glass, he could have guessed that Ryan would choose to support Gaspard. It was another military victory for the Inquisition, who now would have the full support of Orlais to fight Corypheus. It would be interesting to see what their powerful allies would do once the Inquisitions usefulness would disappear. For now, there was a macabre sort of cheerfulness in the air, after all the Queen had just been assassinated by the sister of the new designated ruler. Ryan's choices tonight would have repercussions for years to come.

Leaning against a pillar, Solas continued to observe the nobles and their games. The sweetness of the wine lingered on his tongue, indulging himself he took another glass, knowing he already drank more then he should.

Finally free from Josephine, Eirlana searched for Solas. Josephine hadn't lied when she told her that several families in Orlais had taken an interest in her. Her jaw ached from the forced polite smiles, and her head was swimming from all the small talk she had endured. To her relief most nobles she had been introduced to, were polite and friendly, they were family members of people she had saved, she even recognised some of them from the battlefields. Sadly most of the other nobles acted like she expected and their stares and whispers made her very uncomfortable. Now she was just tired and hoping she could leave soon.

Solas noticed Eirlana, with a smile he gazed at her. She looked so fair this evening, it made his heart beat faster. He didn't miss the dark look she gave Ryan when she passed him; clearly, she was not pleased he had sent her out of the ballroom just before the assassination happened. The Inquisitor had shown he had mastered the Game this night, calculating and manipulating everything to his best advantage.

"There you are." Eirlana was relieved she finally found Solas. "Do you want to get some air?" She looked hopeful at him. He nodded and escorted her to one of the more quieter gardens. The laughter and music grew more distant as they made their way along the winding paths leading through the artful trimmed bushes. The night was pleasantly cool, and the air was filled with the honey-sweet scent of blooming flowers. Small lanterns had been lighted, and benches placed in alcoves occupied by a few couples trying to steal a private moment.

"It feels good to be out here." Eirlana stretched her back, glad the end of the ball was in sight. "I had the feeling I was watched the whole time and that someone was always waiting for me to make a mistake. I can't imagine anyone is enjoying themselves tonight."

"I noticed Vivienne had an extra thick layer of importance and snugness around her."

Eirlana giggled, Solas' opinion about Vivienne had taken a more cynical form ever since she lectured them both about proper court magic. "What about you? You looked more at ease here than I would have thought."

"The costumes may have changed, but the powerful have always acted the same as you well know. Empires come and go with the flow of time, with only their memories remaining in the Fade. Tonight was no exception."

"Seen is not the same as walking amongst them."

"True." Solas said after a while, he didn't know what else to say. Every excuse he could think of sounded to fake or was one he didn't want to tell her. They came to a small square surrounded by bushes of roses in different shades and lighted by several lanterns. Turning towards him, Eirlana lightly took hold of his hands and intertwined their fingers. _"I wish it were just the two of us tonight."_ she spoke softly.

Standing close together they both relished this short moment of peace. Solas leaned forward to kiss her, but she stepped away from him. Still holding his right hand, she turned her body and with a twinkle in her eye she smiled at him knowingly. Solas recognised the way she moved her body, he was very familiar with that stance.

 _"How do you?"_

 _"You are not the only one who has wandered the Fade and seen things."_ Eirlana locked her eyes with his.

She looked so beautiful, it took Solas breath away. Her eyes drew him in, as if she was leading him to a new world, one she created and only she knew the secret to. A peaceful world full of wonders, where to old and new were in harmony. He gladly stepped into it, but in his heart, he knew it was a dream that would never come to pass. He matched her stance, and they began to dance to the faint distant music. It was an ancient elven dance, one the world hadn't seen for thousands of years.

Having only practised the dance a few times in the Fade, Eirlana missed a few steps, but soon she followed Solas' lead, and they glided over their private little square. Gradually the music changed its rhythm and slowed down, staying in tune they began to dance slower, more intimate. With grace, Solas moved behind her, stepping closer to her. Pressing his chest against her back, he leaned into her, curling his arms around her waist. Eirlana could feel his heat through their clothes, swaying to the music she leaned back, letting her head rest against his. Resting her arms on his she closed her eyes, she lost herself in the moment, a pleasant shiver spread through her feeling his warm breath brushing her ear.  
.

"Eh, ehm" Iron Bull coughed. "Sorry guys, but the boss is asking for you."

Solas sighed as reality came crashing back, he wanted nothing more than to disappear at that moment. To take Eirlana far away so he could have her all to himself, without any annoying disturbances. He didn't miss Iron Bull's subtle gesture that something was amiss. Holding onto Eirlana more firmly he kissed her temple.  
"Stay here, I will be right back vhenan."

"But he said..."

"I will see what he wants, wait for me here."

He followed Iron Bull back inside. "Sorry I had to barge in, but you know..."

Solas motioned that it was all right, it wasn't as if it was the first time someone walked into them. He had a bad feeling what he would find after Iron Bull's gestures, his instincts warning him to be cautious.

It was worse than he expected, the Inquisitor was drunk from the wine and intoxicated by his successes of the night. As the victor, he was surrounded by several nobles showering him with praise and flattery, hoping to get on his good side. Like a plague, they clung to him, sneaky and selfishly attempting to gain the most out of the spoils after the bloodshed. What was most alarming to Solas was to see the Pig of Colline among them, as well as other nobles with a more questionable reputation.  
"Solass, there you are." Ryan's voice slurred a little from the wine. "I was jusst trying to explain to these fine people how you do your... your thingss."

"It is most fascinating to hear the grand deeds of the Inquisition by Andraste's Champion himself." the Lord of Val Colline stepped in, looking with interest at Solas, his eyes searching the room behind him. "May I ask, where is your lovely companion of this evening?"

Seeing the disgusting leering look in the man's eyes made Solas sick. Fighting down the urge to set him on fire and strike him down, Solas knew right then that he needed to remove this monster. From his spies he knew Briala was planning to make her move against the Pig, he needed to contact his agents to assist her. Maybe this was the opportunity to help her and gain her trust, all was it a little faster than planned.

"My apologies but she already left, it has been a long and trying night." Solas answered politely. "Can I be of any further assistance Inquisitor?"

Seeing Ryan was already talking with someone else he made a small courtesy bow and left, after all, he was playing the role of a manservant. On his way back he spotted Josephine, quickly he stepped towards her. "The Inquisitor is trying hard to make the wrong kind of friends." he said to her discretely. To his relief her eyes went big and searched immediately for Ryan, seeing him she thanked Solas and went to him.

Trusting she would sort things out Solas resumed his way, it was high time to leave this ball. He needed to get Eirlana away from here fast. Angry at Ryan's ignorance and stupidity he walked back into the gardens. His ears twitched when he picked up Eirlana's giggle from afar, unwittingly he quickened his pace through the winding hedges. He stopped in his tracks when he saw her and Cullen sitting on a bench under a magnificent climbing rose. Cullen was brushing his neck, smiling fondly at Eirlana, who giggled about something he said. Already agitated and the wine running through his veins Solas briskly walked towards them.  
"Solas." Eirlana greeted him cheerfully.

He forced himself to calm down. "Vhenan, if you wish, we have permission to leave."

Noticing something was off, she nodded and turned towards Cullen. "Good night Cullen."

Cullen opened his mouth, but froze a moment, before he mumbled. "Good night."

For a while Cullen stared after them, he already had received some not so friendly looks from Solas, but this was the most hostile one yet. His message was clear, back off she is mine. Not that Cullen didn't know that, but smothering his own feelings was sometimes tricky, especially in moments like these. He had come to the gardens to escape the annoying nobles that had pestered him all night long. It was a pleasant surprise when he came upon Eirlana, she looked so beautiful, and before he knew it, he approached her. They ended up talking on the bench, both complaining and laughing about the ridiculousness of the nobles. It made him happy that so much had changed between them, ever since the day she and Solas had stumbled into Haven. She made him smile, and he couldn't help that he sometimes wished for a future together with her. It was an impossible dream of a future free of the order, free of the pain, a future in which he was living happily with her at his side in a simple house in Fereldan. Cullen shook his head, knowing that it would never happen, it would be a miracle if he managed only one of those things. He didn't blame Solas' reaction, in part he could understand him, especially tonight.

Eirlana kept silent until she and Solas rode away from the palace. She saw he was struggling, something had happened that put him on edge. "Solas what is wrong?"

He kept riding without answering, not trusting his emotions. The desire to take her away and protect her from all that was wrong in this world had never been stronger. He wanted to lock her away in one of his created realms, hidden away, guarded and cared for by people he could trust. It was a selfish desire, one that would put her back in a cage. Even when it would be a golden one, it would still be a cage.

"Solas!" she took hold of his face forcing him to look at her.

He swallowed hard, fighting his own impulses. "I am sorry vhenan. I couldn't stand those nobles and the Inquisitor any longer. I needed to get you away from there."  
.

Entering her room, Eirlana let out a sigh. She felt like she could breathe again. Solas followed her, and with a flick of his wrist, he lit the candles in her room. To her relief, he had calmed down a little, but something had rattled him, and a strange tension was lingering between them. Not knowing how she should act she started to pull some of the pins out of her hair. Looking in the mirror she caught him staring at her with an intense burning gaze that made her shiver, and her heart beat faster. Watching him, she opened her jacket and let it slip off, revealing her laced up back. Suddenly Solas averted his eyes and walked away, opening the door separating their rooms. Confused she spun around. "Solas."

The word was out of her mouth before she could make up her mind what to do. She knew only one thing, she didn't want him to leave. He looked at her questioningly, and she turned and pulled her hair over her shoulder to the front. "Can you help me open this?"

"Of course vhenan." his voice sounded strained.

Her breath hitched when he stepped closer and touched her. He had taken off his gloves, and his warm hand brushed along her neck before his nimble fingers started to unlace her. The tension she felt intensified with every single touch on her skin.

Solas tried to focus on the task she requested with difficulty. His desire for her was set aflame by the wine and the events of the evening, seeing her back slowly unveiling added only more fuel to the fire burning within him. This was getting dangerous, he needed to leave before he did something inexcusable. For a moment his hand hovered over her naked skin before he pulled it back. Clenching his fist he abruptly turned around, "Good night, sleep well." and with a few paces, he was through the door.  
Eirlana stared at the closed door, she could guess why he had left, his burning stare told her enough. Now alone, a sadness spread through her. Reaching over her shoulder, she touched her back still heated from his touch. What should she do?

Alone in his room Solas ripped off his vest and opened his shirt, a few buttons flew off in the process. He flung open the balcony doors to let the night air in, he needed to cool off. His eyes caught sight of a flagon of wine, and he poured himself a glass. After he took a big gulp, he filled it back up again. His blood was boiling, fuelled by the alcohol and the jealousy he felt thinking back at all the men that had paid Eirlana to much attention during the night. A part of him was pushing him to give in, to stake his claim, to take her and let the world know she was his. He felt disgusted with himself to have these thoughts, they were part of the selfish monster he thought he had left behind. It made him sick that his dark, selfish side was so easily resurfacing by a few greedy stares of a couple of shemlen. His emotions in turmoil he noticed the candles going out in her room. Letting out a deep sigh he closed his eyes, this would have been so much easier if he had listened to himself and buried his feelings. He laughed at himself, when had he ever chosen the easy road. No, even when he had many regrets in his life, he would never regret meeting her, she was his light in a dark time, a blessing he didn't deserve. In a big swig, he emptied the glass cursing his own desires, cursing his past and his task. Letting out another sigh, he reached out for the flagon once more, knowing he would regret drinking so much in the morning.  
.

"Solas?"

Solas froze, he hadn't heard Eirlana come in, slowly he turned around and swallowed. Clad in only a sleeveless nightgown and a shawl she stood behind him, her hair loosely pinned up. The moonlight pouring through the windows engulfed her in a surreal light, and for a moment Solas thought he was dreaming, that she was an illusion. Why was she here? He didn't move, frightened to chase her away, scared that she would disappear at any moment. She stepped closer and reached out to him. He took in a sharp breath when her fingers touched his bare chest feather-lightly. Slowly she brushed her lips against his, kissing him tenderly.

His resolve was wearing very thin, he had to stop this, he couldn't... "Vhenan?" he broke away from her.

"I want to spend the night with you."

.

* * *

.

Solas couldn't believe what she just said, she couldn't possibly want to... Eirlana's eyes drew him in, she looked so beautiful, slowly she let her shawl slip from her shoulders. Stunned he watched her, his body already reacting to her presence. Suddenly the dream was shattered when her hand went to his groin, taking it with a delightful pressure, his manhood responding immediately. With a strangled grown he quickly pushed her back.

"Sorry! Did I hurt you?" startled by his reaction, she panicked, she had done something wrong.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself Solas tried to recover, never would he have expected that from her, it was the total opposite of her otherwise shy and hesitant demeanour. Seeing her reaction only affirmed what he already knew. Everyone had always taken from her, demanded from her, used her. No one had ever loved her, cared for her, showed her what it meant to be together.

"No, vhenan." Solas said a little out of breath. He closed the balcony doors, giving himself a few moments to realise that this was reality. He stepped towards her and saw she was rattled, her mind searching where she had gone wrong. He had scared her and at that moment all of his objections and reason were not important. Softly he caressed her cheek, he wanted nothing more than to banish all of her bad memories. Slowly he started to kiss her and mumbled: "Just let us go a little slower."

His hands stroked her bare arms. Tentative Eirlana raised her hands to touch his chest. Solas could tell she was now questioning every move she made. He didn't want this, he wanted her to enjoy every moment, to receive her touch because she wanted to, not because she felt obliged to. Taking her hand, he brought it to his lips placing sweet kisses on it.  
.

Slower, it was easier said than done Eirlana thought. She didn't know what to do, she felt hesitant to touch him. Not that she was a stranger to sex, but for her, it had always been connected with shame, disgust and pain. She knew it shouldn't be like that. She wanted to be with Solas, to feel his love and touch, and to give him pleasure in return, but now there was a growing knot in the pit of her stomach, fearing she would do something wrong again or spoil the mood. With her insecurities returning, she questioned all she knew. She was afraid to touch him, afraid she wouldn't touch him enough, afraid to disappoint him. Inhaling sharply, her thoughts were disrupted when Solas started to suck and lick at the delicate skin of her inner wrist. A pleasant shiver ran along her spine when he continued to kiss up her arm, leaving a wet trail that cooled in the night air. Like in their dance, he stepped behind her and leaned into her. Concentrating on him she began to relax again. His lips feathered over her collarbone, and her breath hitched when he reached her sensitive spot. His breath brushed hot against her skin, kissing and nipping her, it made her tingle in delight. Sighing she moved her head to the side, giving in to his touch, his warmth. This is what she wanted, this is why she had chosen to come here. There was nothing to be afraid off, there was nothing she could do wrong. Her confidence returning, Eirlana slipped away from him. Watching him she moved slowly backwards to the bed, pulling her hairpins loose. Seeing him staring at her with admiration and desire empowered her. Smiling at him, she tugged at the straps of her nightgown, leisurely loosening them.

Solas had to swallow when her nightgown fluttered down, after briefly resting on her hips it pooled at her feet. Standing naked before him, she looked like a vision, with her delicate developing curves, small breasts, her skin almost translucent in the moonlight and her hair a shimmering fall of waves. For a moment he could only stare at her taking in every detail of her, she was so lovely and yet so vulnerable. Mesmerised Solas stepped towards her, his vest hitting the ground with a thud.

 _"You are so beautiful."_ he whispered before capturing her lips, his fingers gliding over her arms. He shuddered in delight when he felt her hands move with confidence over his chest, slipping his shirt off his shoulders. Stopping for a moment, he pressed his forehead against hers. He needed to know. "Are you sure?"

Eirlana brushed her nose against his, before kissing him tenderly. "Yes and no." she smiled. It was the truth, there was a strange mixture of want, desire, fear and anticipation inside of her. "And you?"

"Yes and no." Solas confessed, he wanted nothing more than to love her, to touch and feel her, but he was also still keeping the truth from her. Who he was, what he had done and must do in the future.

They both laughed nervously, as if they were lovestruck teenagers, getting intimate for the first time.  
.

Sitting down on the bed, Solas slowly pulled Eirlana back, so they were both lying down. He was careful not to lean too much over her, so she had room to retreat if she needed to. They kissed again, and his hands began to wander over her, exploring her sides and stomach, caressing her softly. Leaving her lips, he kissed down her neck and collarbone, before travelling down on her chest. He could hear she was holding her breath when he almost reached her breasts. He skimmed the edge of them, brushing his nose along the soft rising mounts, before moving lower to her ribs. She tensed when he started to lightly kiss her there, dragging his inner part of his upper lip along the exposed skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps that spread over her body. His hands moved all along her figure, cherishing every part of her skin. He kept her on the edge of tickling, caressing her with his lips and tongue until her breath sped up and her stomach began to pulse under his every touch. Only then he moved back up towards her breasts. Taking his time he gently stroked his thumbs along them and placed soft kisses on the tender flesh. Her breath hitched when he finally reached her nipple and took it into his mouth, gently sucking it. He smiled hearing her beautiful moan when his tongue began to lick and roll around. Cupping her breasts more firmly he began to knead them, alternating between them with his fingers, mouth and tongue, teasing her nipples until they turned into stiff peaks.

"Solas." Eirlana panted, she was not sure what she should do. This was so different from what she knew. His hands were on a journey to explore and cherish every part of her, her body was reacting in ways she had never felt before. Afraid of these new sensations and afraid she wasn't doing enough, she desperately took hold of his arms.  
Solas halted and kissed her on her lips again, looking deep into her eyes. "Shh, don't worry. Just do what feels good for you." he gave her another heart-throbbing kiss. "I won't stop until I have tasted every part of you."

Her stomach fluttered hearing his low heated voice and seeing his burning but reassuring gaze.

Stroking and kissing her, Solas kept his attention on her upper body, giving Eirlana time to relax again. He wanted to show her there was nothing to fear and give her pleasures she had never experienced before. He wished for her to come undone by his touch, to burn her past away and replace it with all the love, tenderness and sweetness he could bestow upon her.  
.

Eirlana felt a strange tension spread through her, but it wasn't an unpleasant one, rather a wonderful anticipation for what was to come. It was as if a burden was disappearing from her shoulders, taking away her doubt, her fear and her shame, all that was left was Solas and his love. Slowly her hands began to move again. She wanted to feel more of him, to explore his body in turn, she loved him with all her heart and wanted him to feel the same pleasure as he gave her. Giving in to her instincts she began to move, her touches and kisses becoming more confident. Her fingers traced and caressed his muscular body and moving her legs she glided them along his, making Solas hum. His mouth began his journey again, after giving her breast some more attention he continued downwards. Her stomach clenched, and she let out a breathing laugh when his lips fluttered lower than before, teasing her taunt sensitive muscles. Gradually Solas let his body slip off the bed until he was on his knees. A little out of breath Eirlana sat up leaning on her elbows, wondering why he moved to the floor. Her breath hitched when he took her feet and pressed a kiss on them and started to work his way up her legs, kissing, caressing, kneading, tasting, worshipping every inch of her skin. Solas was careful when he slowly parted her legs, knowing that it could make her uncomfortable. He watched her closely when he began to stroke her inner thighs. Eirlana held her breath, her first reaction was to close her legs, but by now her mind and body were in a heated haze of anticipation and pleasure. As much as she feared to be touched there, she also wanted it.

Seeing how tense she was Solas got up. After kissing her, he pulled several thick cushions towards them, arranging them so she could lie more upright and see what he was about to do.

"You are wonderful." he whispered in her ear. With care, he parted her legs again, kneeling down between them. Not stopping caressing her, he stared at her most intimate parts, even here her hair was white. The sparse soft curls started on her mound of Venus and covered her nether lips leading to her pink folds. Kissing her on her stomach, he slowly made his way to her mound. He could hear her holding her breath again when he started to kiss, lick and suck gently at this soft part of her body, gradually he moved lower until he almost had reached her outer lips.

"Solas don't." Eirlana reached for his face and pushed it away, her voice a heady mix of uncertainty and desire.  
He looked at her, his eyes filled with love, lust and promise. Pressing her hand against his cheek, he looked her deep in the eyes. "I said I wanted to taste every part of you." Not breaking eye-contact he turned his head slightly and scraped his teeth over her fingers, nipping softly at her fingertips. Eirlana shuddered and slowly let go of his head and sunk back into the cushions.

Solas started to kiss her mound again, slowly moving lower. He could smell her heavy scent of sex, and he couldn't wait to let her drown in ecstasy. Carefully he licked and kissed her outer folds before he parted them. Seeing the gleam of her arousal heightened his own. Eagerly he let his tongue roll over her inner folds and moaned loudly being finally able to taste her.

Grabbing the sheets to prevent herself from pushing him back again, Eirlana trembled when she saw him staring in fascination at her most intimate parts. She inhaled sharply when his tongue suddenly moved all over her, the sensation and the vibrations of his voice overwhelming her senses. Her heartbeat sped even more as he kept going, flooding her with sweet pleasure. She wanted to touch something of him, but his body was out of her reach, desperately her hand went for his head again but this time not to push him away.

Feeling her stroke his head Solas started to kiss and lick her more intensely, with intervals he looked up at her. She looked gorgeous with her lips slightly parted, her cheeks flushed and her eyes half hooded. Her whole expression telling him she enjoyed every move he made. With his thumbs massaging her mound of Venus he slowly kissed and licked her deeper, time and time again he moved up and teased her on and around her pearl, sucking it gently. Gradually Eirlana's soft moans became louder and more intense, her nails scraping lightly over his scalp. He pulled at her nether lips with his mouth, cherishing and loving every part of her, eating her out more and more. He had to moan when she finally let go completely and parted her legs even more for him, he could taste her heightened arousal. Slowly he let one finger enter her, she was so warm and moist. He felt her stiffen at the intrusion, but he kept licking and kissing her until she relaxed again. With care he began to move his finger, adding one more after a while, massaging her soft passage from within.

" Solas." Eirlana panted, her body felt like it was on fire from the pleasure he brought her. Whatever he was doing she didn't want him to stop. She groaned and arched her back when he suddenly reached a particular spot within her. He growled, knowing he was the one who did this to her, wanting to give her more he kept moving his fingers, his tongue licking and rolling all over and around her throbbing pearl. He felt her inner walls twitch, not stopping he kept going, knowing she wasn't far from her climax. He curled his fingers inside of her, teasing her spot again. Suddenly she pressed his face against her core, closing her legs around him in her peak. It was exhilarating to feel her clamping onto him, her inner walls pulsing around his fingers. With skilled hands he kept touching and caressing her, drawing out her peak.  
.

Getting back at his feet Solas smiled at Eirlana, her pupils blown wide apart by her arousal, her whole body glowing with pleasure. Letting her catch her breath, he stripped off his last clothes. He sighed, when his throbbing member hit the crisp air, finally free from its confinement. Ignoring the urge to touch himself, he sat down next to her. Recovering from her orgasm Eirlana moved upright and leaned against him. Wanting to have her all the control and freedom she needed, he pulled her on his lap, making sure his member was securely trapped between their stomachs.

Lovingly Eirlana straddled him, embracing him she pressed herself against his warm body. Coming down from her high she lazily kissed him tasting herself on him. Solas groaned when her tongue slipped over his lips, opening his mouth they entwined their tongues together. It was wonderful to feel her heated body against his, he brushed aside her hair and raked his nails teasingly over her spine. She arched her back beautifully to his touch, pushing her breast forward with her nipples still hard and sensitive from his earlier ministrations. Eagerly he took them into his mouth, rolling his tongue over them. Her hands grabbed him by his shoulders and pushed him back. Moaning Solas let go, thrilled she was taking control.

With lust filled eyes Eirlana kissed him desperately. This was so different, this felt so right. In the past she had learned to quickly finish the job so she would be left alone again. Never had she enjoyed to give pleasure to someone else. Now she was fascinated how Solas responded to her every touch, how his breath hitched and his muscles flexed under her exploring fingers. She let her hands glide over his body, kneading him, scraping her nails over his skin and could feel his trapped member throbbing against her stomach. Grabbing his head, she pulled it to the side giving her access to his neck. Her lips roamed along it, licking, and scraping her teeth against his muscle. When she bit down on him, she could feel him shiver, thrilled she bit him harder, sucking and rolling her tongue over his flesh. Feeling him grab her more tightly at her hips, she experimentally rolled her hips, pressing her heated centre against the base of his member. The moans that escaped Solas made her smile, and she continued her journey, revelling in the pleasure she brought him, wondering how he would react to what touch.

Solas had to force himself to keep his hands still, to give her time to explore him at her own pace. It was exhilarating to feel her move freely against him seeking out her and his pleasure. When she tried to grip his head, he wished he had still his hair, so he could feel her pull it. With closed eyes and parted lips, he gave in to her, moving as she wanted, his body shivering when he felt her kissing and licking his neck. A thrill went through him when he felt her biting him, knowing she was leaving a mark for the world to see. When she rolled her lips, he couldn't help but to grab her and push her more against him. He shuddered when she licked him up his neck until her hot breath brushed against his ear, letting him moan again when she traced it with her tongue and bit down lightly at his sensitive ear-tip. His heart almost pounded out of his chest when she whispered.

 _"I want you."_ her voice full of want and desire.

 _"Ma lath."_

Hearing Solas slightly out of breath and his deep voice loaded with promise and longing made her shiver. Her pounding heart skipped a beat when his words sunk in. Lost for words she kissed him, and hugged him tightly, knowing that he meant every letter from the bottom of his heart.  
.

A little hesitant Eirlana raised her hips, releasing his member that was trapped between them. Solas' hands were resting on her hips, but he was not guiding or pushing her. Looking into his eyes, she guided him to her core and slowly slid down on him. In union their lips parted, breathing in each other's moans, until he was fully seated inside of her. Holding still she leaned against him, her eyes closed. She could feel her walls clenching around him, stretching her, filling her.

Solas didn't move. He grasped her waist more tightly, feeling her finally around him, her heat engulfing him. It was almost too much.

The feeling was overwhelming for both of them, to be finally connected.

 _"Ar lath ma"_ her breath brushed along his upper lip.

He grasped her waist more tightly, groaning _"Ma lath"_ once again.

They kissed each other long and passionately until they couldn't resist the urge to move any longer. With her arms resting around her shoulder Eirlana rolled her hips, feeling him shift inside her. With her movement Solas slid his hands to her behind, grabbing her cheeks to encourage her. They began at a torturous slow rhythm, that had them both on edge, their bodies wanting more and don't wanting to stop at the same time. She moved her beautifully against him, and teasingly nipped his under lip only to pull away when he tried to kiss her. They both laughed and revelled in their intimacy. Slowly they bodies heated up, making their movements growing bolder and more profound.

Eirlana could see Solas was keeping himself back, wanting him to enjoy it as much as she did she stroked his fingers along his ear, knowing what it would do to him. With a muffled groan he trusted up into her, sheeting himself deeper within her. She gasped and smiled against his lips, breathing in his pleasure. They sped up, moving more strongly, smiling at each other, drinking in their shared love and passion. He felt her fingers curling around his head, pulling and pushing him against her neck. His lips brushed against her fast beating pulse, not able to resist the temptation he hungrily bit her there. Hearing her moan his name he feverishly sucked and worried her skin, leaving his mark on her. She began to lose her rhythm and desperately held on to him. Grabbing her hips firmly he took over, guiding her to her release. He could feel her core throbbing around him, telling him she was close.

"Solas, please." she moaned.

"Come for me vhenan." letting go of her, he moved one hand between their bodies and rubbed his finger against her pearl. She shattered around him, her body shivering and throbbing from her second orgasm. Solas buried his fingers into her hips and bit his tongue, to not follow her. He wanted to pleasure her even more and wished this night would never end. He groaned loudly when he felt her pulsing around him, his name on her lips like the sweetest spell. Her fingers dug into his scalp, pressing her body against his as if she wanted for them to melt together. Out of breath and overwhelmed she went limp in his arms. He kissed her shoulder and held her until she caught her breath, his member throbbing within her, urging him to move.

Gently Solas lifted Eirlana, hissing when he slipped out of her, slick and wet from her release. He helped her onto the bed, making sure she lay comfortably against the cushions. Moving between her legs he rubbed himself against her opening, scooping up more of her nectar before he entered her again. "Vhenan."

Breathing heavily he waited, making sure she would be alright with him on top of her. He half closed his eyes when he felt her muscles still flutter from her orgasm. When her arms came around him, welcoming him, he groaned. He wanted to move slowly, but her heat and his need made it impossible. Lifting her leg, he changed his angle, and he began to trust, his eyes not leaving hers for a second. His heart soared when her hands grabbed his butt and wrapped her body around his, meeting his thrusts. She was his, and he was hers. His movements were getting deeper and harder. He wanted to bury himself her, wanted to drink every moan and pant from her parted lips. His hunger and pent-up need was taking over as he sped up. He would never forget this moment, he would never get enough of her. Desperately he moved, kissing her feverishly.

Eirlana's mind was going blank, her whole world had shrunken to just them. Her body was melting from the heat of their slick skins moving together. Sweat dripped from him onto her body, tickling her skin as it rolled down. His body was moving fluently under her fingers, his muscles were moving in harmony with his trusts. Overtaken by the sensation she dug her nails into him.

Uttering a wild-sounding growl Solas tried to press himself even deeper inside of her, with even more fever he moved even faster, he was so close, so close. Wanting desperately for them to come together he moved his hand and pressed his fingers against her pearl again. Her reaction was almost immediately, her walls clenching around on him, begging for him to let go. With a deep throaty moan, he came, releasing himself deeply inside of her.  
.

* * *

.

With the build-up tension suddenly gone Solas' body collapsed, sweaty and heated he lay on her, holding her tightly. Catching his breath, he managed to roll off her with some effort, his body shaking from the high he experienced. They both lay still beside each other panting, unable to say a word. Lazily Solas rolled to his side and put his arm on her waist, her skin hot and sticky with perspiration. He started to place a long slow kiss on the first patch of skin he could reach. Eirlana rolled herself against him, unable to believe what she had just experienced. Smiling and out of breath, she snuggled up against him. With their naked bodies entangled, Solas managed to drag one of the sheets across them, after a few long slow kisses they drifted away, both content and sleepy they dozed off, Solas holding her possessively in his arms.  
.

Already half asleep, Solas' ears twitch. Slowly he opened his eyes, seeing Eirlana curled up next to him he snuggled himself against her, closing his eyes again.  
"Shuffle."

There was that noise again, it sounded like it was coming from just outside his room. Solas was immediately wide awake, carefully he sat upright, listening intensely. There were people on the move outside on the balcony. Silently he moved out of the bed, wanting to reach his staff.

Eirlana stirred, waking up by his movements. "Sol..." quickly he covered her mouth.

"Shhh." and motioned towards the door leading to her room. Alarmed by hearing the clear sound of people moving and muffled voices, she also slipped out of bed. Suddenly they saw the door slowly being opened. With a few quick strides Solas had reached his staff, whoever it was next door, their intentions couldn't be good. He felt Eirlana's magic around him as she erected a barrier. The door swung open and armed masked men stepped through it. "There! Capture the elf! Kill the other one."

Solas could see the leader of the men pointing at him and with their blades drawn the men immediately began to attack him. With staff in hand, he shot out his fade fist, sending the first men flying back. Ice shards and lightning flew through the air, killing the next who came through the door. Solas was alarmed, they were here with a purpose. More men poured into the room, stepping over their fallen comrades, Solas tried his best to hold them back when Iron Bull came storming through the door swinging his battle-axe. Other people were moving in the hall, hastening to come to their aid, the noise of the fight had woken quite a few people. With the odds now against them, the leader and a few of his men escaped over the balcony into the night. In just a few moments everything was over.

"What happened here?" Cassandra asked, clad in simple linens. "Someone check on the Inquisitor!"

"We had a nightly visit." Solas replied, still naked he picked up his shirt and helped Eirlana cover herself. She was visibly shaken and looked questioning at him, knowing that this was not a random attack. He was also troubled by the leaders call.

"Vints, when do these bastards finally learn." Iron Bull grumbled, then he turned around and started to laugh. "Look that's what a true warrior is like, always ready to fight, even in his birthday-suit. I should have done that."

"Please don't." Dorian groaned.

Putting on a legging, Solas went over the events. This had been the second attack where they targetted him and Eirlana, and their instructions had been clear, capture one, discard the other. His eyes shot for a second to Eirlana, wondering again if it was him or her they wanted. Who had value to them? There was no doubt the Venatori had their spies within the Inquisition, the same as he had, the Qunari, the Orlesian court, Ferelden and no doubt others. It was a miracle that there was not more bloodshed in the halls of Skyhold. Could it be that Corypheus had discovered who he was? Not that wasn't possible, it was far more logical that they knew what the Inquisition knew, and that was that she is a healer and he an expert in elven lore and the Fade. He would be the more logical target. Why had they come into her room? He had entered hers, before moving to his. Had they assumed he was in there? Had they entered the wrong room? He looked again at Eirlana, no it had to be him they were looking for, she had no connection to anything except her role in the Inquisition as a mage and a healer. She would be of no interest to them. They must have discovered his knowledge of the orb, maybe they needed him in the hopes of unlocking it further. Could he use this to lure them out? Still looking at Eirlana he dismissed it immediately, it was too dangerous, they had called for the death of her. A chill went through him, what would have happened had they succeeded in overpowering him. No, he wouldn't risk her well-being, he had to find another way to get to his orb.

"They properly went in here to get revenge for tonight. Thank the Maker they failed." Cassandra sighed before barking more orders to the guards to double their patrols and be on the lookout for those who had fled.  
.

Soon Solas and Eirlana found themselves in Dorian room, who had 'other' arrangements.

"Solas?"

He looked at her while he pulled back the sheets so they could finally get some sleep.

"Those men they were looking for someone." She had kept quiet, not knowing why Solas hadn't said something.

"I know vhenan."

"Why didn't you tell them?"

After some consideration, he answered. "Because I don't want them to put any guards on us. I don't know why or who of us they were targetting. As far as I know, the only person of interest to them is Ryan. If the others knew they were looking for one of us, they would look even more over our shoulders. They would ask questions about what we are doing and why. Being in the Inquisition is hard enough at it is, and I want to continue my work to fight against Corypheus in peace. I don't see the need to worry them even more." He took her hand and hated himself for manipulating her. "I know it is frightening to be suddenly attacked, but we are safe here. Besides we are both more than capable of defending ourselves and we are protected by the others. Of course, you can share what you have heard with Cassandra, Ryan or the others. I won't ask you to keep silent on my behalf." She was silent for a moment and then nodded. He embraced her, regretting there was yet another secret she was keeping for him. "I am sorry." he murmured.

It was already getting light, exhausted Eirlana slipped into bed. After casting a ward to make sure they wouldn't be surprised again and shedding his leggings, Solas followed her. Lying down he possessively took her in his arms, she turned her head towards him, and they shared a long lazy kiss. Slipping his hand under the shirt, she was wearing he softly caressed her stomach.

" _Ar lath ma_ " he whispered and held her tightly, his heart soared when he heard her whisper. _"Ma lath"_  
.

With difficulty, Solas woke up. He had far to little sleep, and his head reminded him of his excessive wine consumption of last night. He frowned when he tried to open his eyes, and the sun was greeting him with her bright light. Not wanting to wake up he buried himself back into the cushions. His legs brushed against Eirlana's, and he hummed as the memories of last night came back to him. Snuggling against her he pulled her more into his arms. Awoken by his movements she stretched herself lazily, she smiled at him, mumbling. "Morning." and kissed him. Sadly their cuddly morning didn't last long. Too soon they had to get up and pack their belonging. It was strange that all their weeks of preparation was packed up in a few hours to return to Skyhold.

"Vhenan."

Eirlana turned towards Solas, she had just closed up her clothing chest. She was surprised to see him with another jewellery box in his hand, although this was a smaller one. In it lay another version of the necklace he had given her. It was a simpler version, attached to a couple of leather cords was a silver pendant. It depicted the same sleeping wolf, but the crystal at its centre was smaller and rougher.

"I knew you couldn't wear the other one on a daily basis, so I ordered a second one, one you can always wear."

"Oh Solas, it is wonderful." she hugged him. "Thank you."  
.

"Solas, did you pack everything?" Iron Bull grinned at him. "Didn't know elves were carrying that much."

They stood with the carriages and horses, waiting for Ryan. Eirlana started to blush at his remark, and Solas decided to just ignore this one. Dorian groaned and slapped Iron Bull on his back. "Enough you savage."

"Hmm savage? Want me to conquer you again?" he closed in on Dorian, trapping him between his chest and one of the carriages.

"Erh erhm." Cassandra rasped her throat. "If you are finished we have to get moving."

"Yes, Mam." Iron Bull stepped back from a furiously blushing Dorian.

Solas shook his head but had to grin at the exchange.

* * *

Ma lath – my love

Ar lath ma – I love you


	18. Chapter 18

I am so sorry Ryan is truly back to his awful self, I think his success at the winter palace has gone to his head.

His beliefs are Chantry's, and how can I get the inquisition to an organisation that is built on her principles, how can it be a base of power to spread the Chantries convictions.

About the Fade, I found the mission in the Fade cool, the whole concept and the idea of shit where are we now and how do we get out of here. Though already by my first playthrough I was like how could the fear spawns turn into your worst fears? So for some people, it would be spiders, clowns, snakes, those are relatively simple but what if you are afraid of crowds or hights? Or you are a dwarf who is scared of falling up into the sky? Not very practical. So I thought about what if they are spiders, spiders are famous for building traps, just like the dreams that are trapped in the nightmare realm you free in this mission. That brought me on the idea of how they all could experience their own fears.

Thank you all so much for the support and comments, I hope you enjoy reading the next part :)

* * *

 **Chapter 18**

No word had reached Skyhold from Hawke or Loghain as they returned to Skyhold, though Eirlana was certain it wouldn't be long before they would be heading to the Western Approach. With care, she rode around the village that had been build in the valley below Skyhold to reach the stables.

"Where have you been so early this morning?" Krem greeted her. He was preparing a couple of horses for what looked like a short trip.

"A caravan had taken a wrong turn and was hit by rockfall, they had a couple of injured." she explained and unsaddled her hart so it could join Solas' and rest.

Krem shook his head. "They're always keeping you busy."

"I didn't mind." She laughed. "There are worse things than a ride in the morning sun. Where are you going?"

"We are heading out for a short hop to the coast with the Inquisitor. We have received word from the Qunari that there is trouble with a shipment of red lyrium."

This surprised Eirlana. "From the Qunari?" she asked astounded. Since Iron Bull had joined the Inquisition, they were sharing some information, but she had never heard the Qunari ask for help. Not that she knew much about them, but what she did know was that they were a proud race. Their belief, their philosophy was their way of life, and they usually frowned upon outside influences.

"Yes, apparently this business with red lyrium has them on edge, but with the Chief and the Inquisitor watching our backs we will sort it out quickly."

Seeing Krem smile eased a little of her worries. "Just be careful."

"Yes, yes, yes. You sound just like the Chief. Are you up for a game of Wicked Grace when we return?"

"Wouldn't miss it." she smiled. Having stalled her hart, she walked into Skyhold. Deciding she wanted to see how Cullen was doing, she climbed the stairs onto the walls. He was still reluctantly accepting her help despite his lyrium withdrawal, too often he waved her concerns away, saying he was doing fine. Her hand reached for the door to his office when she heard Ryan's voice. "Cullen we need to talk."

Eirlana froze, she didn't intend to eavesdrop, but something in Ryan's voice made her stay. The sounds were muffled, but from what she could hear they were discussing Cullen's lyrium withdrawal, and judging by Ryan's tone, it was far more serious than she had thought.

"Make sure you can function, otherwise we have to take other measures." Ryan bellowed and left the office with the door slammed shut behind him. Eirlana saw him stride towards the rotunda, and was horrified about the tone he had used towards Cullen. How could he say such things? How could he demand more from a man, who already gave so much? Carefully she opened the office door to peek inside and make sure Cullen was alright. To her shock he held a flask of lyrium in his hands, shaking he poured some of it on a spoon.  
.

Cullen looked grim at the lyrium in his hands. He could feel the familiar calling from it, the promise of no more pain, of power, of focus. It was his shackle, his leash, and he would never be rid off it. The Inquisitor was right he needed to function, he needed to be reliable, too much was at stake. His hands moved automatically, performing the ritual as he had done a thousand times before. It was yet another reminder that he would never be free of the cursed blue liquid. Suddenly the spoon and his templar kit flew out of his hands by a wave of force, smashing it into pieces against the wall. Immediately he spun around, sword half-drawn to face his enemy. He froze when he saw Eirlana, who stood in the doorway looking just as flabbergasted at him. "Cullen don't!"

He took a step towards her, but his body protested. Pain shot through him, and he stumbled. With a groan he managed to balance himself against his desk. Elegant hands grabbed him by his arm, trying to help him. It was a strange sensation to feel her smaller frame helping him onto his chair. Why did everyone see him on a day like this, when his body and mind didn't obey him?

"Cullen..."

He raised his hands to silence her. He saw she was worried, but he couldn't bear the thought of her pitying him or suffer for him like she did last time. Gritting his teeth, he pushed back the pain. "I am all right. This will pass."

"CULLEN!" she startled him, and he stared into her eyes that looked angry at him. "Stop this! Why didn't you call me? You know I can help you."

He fell silent for a moment, surprised at her outburst he mumbled. "You collapsed." He had felt bad, hearing what had happened the first night at Skyhold. He had pushed himself too far, and she had suffered because of that. She was doing already so much for the Inquisition, for his men, for the Inquisitor. He was responsible for his own condition, it was his burden to carry. He had poisoned himself, taking lyrium willingly for years, and now he had to pay the price.

"I was ill and exhausted. We all were after Haven." Eirlana argued, she felt guilty, she should have been more insistent that he needed help. "I am sorry, I should have checked on you more often."

"No! The fault is mine." defeated he rested his head in his hands. "I never meant for this to interfere."

"It isn't your fault, you are suffering from lyrium withdrawal. No one can blame you for that."

He huffed. "You don't know what I have done."

"Help me to understand."

With a sigh, Cullen got up and looked out of his window. "Have you heard what happened to the Fereldan Circle during the Blight?"

"Only a little."

"There was an uprising. Bloodmages and abominations took over the Circle, slaughtering and corrupting everyone that stood against them. Templars, my friends, mages, tranquil, no one was spared. I was tortured, for I don't know how long, they tried to break my mind, and I... I changed after that. I couldn't serve at the Fereldan Circle any longer, so they sent me to Kirkwall." Eirlana could hear his anger in his voice, speaking of the city of chains. "Slowly I got back on my feet. I served and trusted my Knight-Commander and for what? Her blind fear of mages ended in death and madness. Kirkwall's Circle fell, innocent people died in the streets. After that, I wanted to do nothing more with that life." He grabbed one of the lyrium bottles from the table. "But I was leashed, as every templar is until the day you die, or the lyrium takes your mind away."

"Cullen I..."

"Don't! I let my fear and hate of mages guided me, through my actions people suffered and died. I... I signed the orders to make mages tranquil, didn't believe reports of abuse, ignored rumours and the misconducts I could see with my own eyes." he looked at her for a moment before squeezing his eyes shut. "It sickens me what I would have done if I had met you back then. I..." Eirlana shuddered listening to his past, but she could understand why he had grown fearful of magic. It was not so different from the reasons she had become afraid of templars.

Cullen continued. "After all that had happened, I wanted to leave it all behind. I thought not taking lyrium would be better, that I would regain some control over my life, but these thoughts won't leave me. How many lives depend on our success. I swore myself to this cause. I swore I would not give less to the Inquisition then I did to the Chantry. I should be taking it." Frustrated he smashed his fist against the bookcase. "I should be taking it!"

"Stop it!" Eirlana yelled, knowing he had just hurt himself.

Cullen closed his eyes and sighed, it had been such a long time since he had spoken about his feelings. He felt exhausted and spend, his body ached.

She could see he was suffering not only physical, but he also carried the pain and regret from his past with him. It was remarkable how he had chosen to change his life. As long as she knew him, he tried everything he could possibly do to change his life and better the lives of others whatever their background. "Cullen, look at me."

Reluctantly he met her eyes, not knowing what she would say, now that she knew.

"Cullen what do you want?"

Not expecting her question, he blinked a few times before he glanced at the lyrium lying on the desk. "I should do what is best for the Inquisition."

"That is not what I asked. Do you want to take it again?"

Unknowingly he slightly shook his head. "It is becoming worse. No, the Inquisitor is right, I can't let personal matters interfere."

"To the void with him! It is your life, and you give more than enough."

Cullen was stunned, he had never heard her express herself so much before.

"Do you even know how much work you are doing? How all the troops have confidence in you? How they praise your decisions, training and actions? Do you know how many people you keep safe by arranging the patrols and armed posts?"

"That doesn't matter. If I can't do my duty because of this, I am not worthy to be Commander of the Inquisition."

"You would poison yourself only to get maybe one hour of extra work? Even without your predicament the hours you've been pushing are not healthy. Your body is screaming out for more rest and sleep. Lyrium will maybe dampen the symptoms, but is this really worth your life? Is it really worth to destroy everything you have accomplished so far?"

"No."

"Then let me will help you."

Defeated Cullen nodded.

Eirlana squeezed his arm. "I can't promise that I will find a cure, but I can do something about the pain, the fatigue and remove some to the Lyrium. Give me a few hours to do some research."

Relieved and grateful he sighed. "Thank you."

After Eirlana left, he picked up his broken templar kit. With new determination, he locked it away again. He knew his fight against the lyrium was far from over, but with Eirlana's help, he had new hope. With another sigh, he sat down and began to read through the newly arrived reports.

.

Eirlana entered the rotunda and saw that Ryan was talking to Solas now, still angry at Ryan she made her way up to the library, giving Solas a faint smile. How could he possibly want to push Cullen back into an addiction? Scanning through the books, she quickly found the few that discussed lyrium.

"Looking for a way to help our dear Commander?" Dorian's voice came from behind her.

"What gave you that idea?"

"With our Commander's tremors and constant headaches, it is not hard to guess. Apart from being incredibly charming, I am very observant as well, unlike what most people think of me. And judging by your choice of reading material..." He pointed to the small collection of books, all containing the workings of lyrium and its known effects.

Knowing most of their content already Eirlana sighed. "Not that they will contain anything useful."

"I could ask for some works from Tevinter. I have a few contacts left, and you can be assured they will contain something else then what the Chantry dictates. Maybe you can find something useful in them."

"That would be great because prayer and faith won't cure this. Thank you."

He smirked and stroked his moustache. "It is purely out of self-interest. I hope he feels better soon, it is far too long ago that he has trained shirtless."

"Be careful, or Iron Bull will get jealous." she laughed.

"Oh, trust me he likes to watch."

Rolling her eyes Eirlana shook her head. "I don't even want to know."

"You think she should be locked up!?" Solas voice bellowed suddenly from below. She and Dorian both froze.

"I didn't say that!" Ryan raised his voice. "I said that her life would have been different if Tevinter would accept the true Chantry. It would be a far safer place if they had proper Circles."

"You think she would have been safer in a Circle?"

"She wouldn't have suffered the life that she did. She would have been cared for, looked after."

"As if she isn't capable of that herself."

"Magic unchecked is dangerous. Corypheus actions prove once again that it should be monitored."

"So you would have me and her locked up for our given gifts. You would deny us a life of our own choosing and have us hidden away from the world, deprived of any grasp of reality and freedom."

"The Circles weren't prisons, many mages could travel to where their talents were needed."

"So we would be shipped around, like some prized animals to showcase. To heal or kill as the Chantry and its templars commanded. Of course only if one would be deemed safe enough."

"The Chantry has the best interest in mind for everyone. It is charitable and wants to keep the peace."

Solas let out a laugh. "They only do what suits them, what is in their own self-interest to remain in power. They have constructed a perfect system of jailor and prisoner, where every child learns what is to be expected and fear magic. I won't deny they do some good for the less fortunate, but..."

"You just don't want to see all the good that they do. They keep us safe."

"Safe from what exactly? The ability to learn and think for our selves? To form our own opinions and world views? I prefer to think and live as I choose. Now if you, please excuse me I have more work to do."

Eirlana watched as Ryan left fuming. It was chilling to hear him speak in that tone and the things he said were sobering. With every mission, they undertook he was becoming an even more powerful man. His influence already reached across Thedas and would only grow stronger. If they would succeed in defeating Corypheus, how would his opinions shape her future and the future of every mage,? Dorian squeezed her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her, but she could see he was also worried in the way Ryan spoke.  
.

It was early in the morning when Eirlana slowly woke up, lying warm and secure in Solas' arms. She stretched herself, and Solas groaned next to her when the chill air slip under the blankets. She smiled, watching him burrow himself further into their nest of furs and blankets, but she needed to get up. She had a long day ahead of her, a new group of healers had arrived at Skyhold. They had been sent by several nobles to help the Inquisition, and some even had been sent to be taught by her specifically. She was somewhat relieved she didn't have to face Ryan after his altercations with Solas and Cullen yesterday. He had left a short time after with Vivienne, Varric, Iron Bull and the Bull's Chargers. Slipping out of bed she shuddered, it was cold this morning, and Solas disappeared, even more, mumbling something.

"What?" she asked laughing, leaning closer.

His hands grabbed her and pulled her back into bed, pressing his naked body against hers.

"Solas." She was silenced with a kiss, that she happily returned. It was unreal how comfortable and loved he made her feel, and she cherished these moments where life seemed peaceful and almost normal. Solas started to nuzzle himself against her as if he wanted to sleep some more.

"Ma lath, I have to get up." she tried to gently push him of her, but he only held her tighter, pressing more sweet kisses against her skin. It didn't take long before he found one of her sensitive spots and gave it his special attention. A pleasant tingle spread through her, her mind and body remembering their lovemaking from last night. She gasped when he bit her softly, starting another love bite.

"Don't." She wanted to push him away, but couldn't bring herself to it. She could feel him smile knowingly against her skin.

Not wanting to let her go he murmured. "Stay with me." He wanted to indulge in this rare luxury of sleeping in and spent the day with her. With Ryan gone he felt more relaxed, the source of his constant annoyance gone.

"But the clinic." she exhaled, goosebumps spreading over her body from his touch.

"The clinic will understand you deserve some time off." he said, rolling on top of her.  
.

After having cleared down breakfast Rosie and the other maids began at their next tasks. With a basket of fresh sheets, she and another maid went up the stairs. Halting at Solas' and Eirlana's door to knock, Rosie stopped when they both could hear the very distinctive moans coming from the other side of the door. They both giggled, and Rosie suggested too her colleague she would already go and start with the Inquisitor's room. Hearing another moan, she smiled and shook her head while walking away. With the Inquisitor gone it would be an ideal moment to 'clean' his chambers.  
.

The water was finally boiling after Eirlana had dressed and made the bed. Putting two teaspoons of the herbal mixture into a mug, she poured the hot water onto them.

Sitting down on Solas' bed, they had turned into their couch, she blew the tea to cool it down. Solas just returned when she took her first sip of the contraceptive tea. As always she shuddered tasting the bitter concoction.

"I am sorry vhenan." he gave her one of the sweetrolls he had gotten from the kitchen.

"You men have it far to easy." she joked, taking a small bite from the cake.

Putting the tray of breakfast in front of her, he sat down behind her and kissed her shoulder. Slipping his fingers through her hair, he loosened her braid to redo it in one of his creations. While listening to Eirlana compiling a list with things she needed to do, he thought back at the Winter Palace. It had been a difficult topic to bring up, but to his relief, she had quickly agreed to not have any children at this moment. As beautiful as their time was together he knew, in the end, there was no future for them. On the path he had to take only death and destruction would await him, it was a path she couldn't possibly follow. With every step that brought them closer together he was making the situation more painful and complicated, yet he couldn't let go. Every day he spent with her was like a dream he didn't deserve. He already was committing a sin and he couldn't possibly father a child into a world that he would throw into chaos. Deep in his heart, he knew that he had to leave her, that he would have to hurt her, abandon her. His heart ached at the thought of having to let her go. Never had he thought that someone would mean so much to him. He felt her shudder again, drinking more of the bitter herbs, she had to drink them every time they had made love. It was a painful reminder that everything had its price. He pulled her against him, hugging her from behind.

Looking over her shoulder his eyes rested on the amulet he gave her, and she now wore all the time.

 _"Spent the day with me."_ he whispered in her ear.

She looked over her shoulder. "Solas... I..." she hesitated a moment, she would love to spend a day with him. "I am sorry I really need to go to the clinic. I am already late."  
"What if I told you I will help you out tomorrow?"

"I..."  
"What if I told you I already have told your colleagues you wouldn't come today?"

"You did what?" she turned more towards him.

"Some of the sisters giggled when I told them I wouldn't let go of you." he grinned at her.

She started to blush. "You know they will ask a thousand questions tomorrow."

"A price I am willing to pay." he purred. "Please vhenan."

"Okay." she mumbled stroking her nose against his. "What did you have in mind?"

.

Armed with books Eirlana and Solas went to the garden. It was fairly quiet, only a few sisters and Morrigan with her son were present. Morrigan had just joined the Inquisition, to Vivienne's dismay, as an official advisor from the Orlesian Empire. Apparently, Morrigan, an apostate without proper Circle training, had gained the favour of the murdered Empress Celene and had threatened Vivienne's position at court. Now with Celene dead Morrigan had been dispatched to the Inquisition to help in their efforts against Corypheus.

Ignoring the people they found a sheltered sunny corner in the garden, leaning against each other they read and discussed various theories. Eirlana was just telling him about how senses vary between different creatures and therefore also their perception of the world. As always they were using vague general terms if they discussed spirits in public. Solas listened with interest, he had never given much thought to how a spirit perceived its surroundings. It was common knowledge that every type of spirit had a particular attraction depending on what its nature was. With the spirit's freedom now limited by the Veil they couldn't freely wander the world any longer, and had most likely relied more on their senses to find what they favoured.

"There are our two lovebirds." Dorian greeted them. "Can I interest any of you into a game of chess? I was supposed to play with our dear Commander, but sadly Cassandra has stolen him away."

Solas looked at Eirlana.

"Go play." she smiled. "I will watch."

"Excellent." Dorian beamed.

It was amusing to see the two men play, they were so different. Eirlana giggled several times at Dorian's flamboyant remarks, and Solas thoughtful comebacks. In the end, Solas had won both matches.

"I shall take my leave before your smugness gets any worse." Dorian grinned and left them.

"Can I try?"

Solas motioned for her to take Dorian's place. "Have you ever played."

"No, but I watched how the pieces are moved."

He turned the board around, giving her the white pieces. "To you the first move."

.

The peaceful days were over when Ryan returned. Eirlana was shocked when she heard that the Bull's Chargers had been killed during the mission. Apparently, they had split up, and the Chargers were overpowered by Venatori while they were securing an encampment. On the Walls of Skyhold she watched together Varric how Iron Bull and Ryan prepared to spread out the ashes. Iron Bull looked really calm and that had her worried.

"They wanted to test him those bastards." Varric grumbled. "Can't believe they're gone."

"They were like family to him." Eirlana whispered in disbelief.

"All this for an alliance with the Qunari." he sighed. "Worst thing is not only the Chargers are gone, a part of Tiny has gone too. He is... it is like he has become more Qunari, and I don't think that is a good thing."

"Sorry guys." they heard Iron Bull say. "I don't know any prayers from the Chantry, or whatever Rocky and Dalish believed in. Ataash varin kata. Asit tal-eb." as he spread out the ashes.

"The Light shall lead her safely

Through the paths of this world, and into the next.

For she who trusts in the Maker, fire is her water.

As the moth sees light and goes toward flame,

She should see fire and go towards Light.

The Veil holds no uncertainty for her,

And she will know no fear of death, for the Maker

Shall be her beacon and her shield, her foundation and her sword." Ryan prayed and then left.

Iron Bull stayed behind, staring into the distance where the ashes had been carried away by the wind. He didn't react when Varric and Eirlana walked up to him.

"Iron Bull shall I say a few words for Dalish and Rocky?" Eirlana asked.

He was silent for a moment and then nodded.

 _"O Falon'Din Lethanavir—Friend to the Dead Guide my feet, calm my soul, Lead me to my rest."_

"Tiny I am sorry. If you need anything."

"Thank you, but I'm good."

Varric shook his head. "Just you know the drinks are on me tonight."

Iron Bull huffed "You will be sorry tomorrow." and left for the tavern.  
.

Somehow Solas wasn't surprised by Ryan's decision. The Inquisitor was choosing more and more the path that made him more popular or influential. An alliance with a foreign power was something he couldn't refuse. It was foreboding that he was willing to go over the bodies of those that were closer to him than some unnamed soldiers.

What was also worrisome was that the whispers in the halls buzzed more about the alliance rather than the loss of a group of well-known people. As grim as the situation was, it was also amusing to see Ryan's reaction after the Qunari informed him that there were Venatori spies within the Inquisition. Solas almost laughed out loud when Ryan was visibly upset and outraged about it. As dangerous as Ryan was, he was strangely blind and naïve to the ambitions and goals of others. Of course, there were spies, these halls were crawling with them, including his own, not forgetting several noble houses, the crown of Orlais, Ferelden and the Qunari themselves. Iron Bull and his people had been the exception in their honesty about their mission. For now, Solas had to focus on their next goal. Hawke had finally sent word about the strange activities of the Wardens, and he could only hope they would make it in time and not find another disaster.  
.

Taking another drink from her water-bottle, Eirlana looked out over the endless dunes of the Western Approach. It was hard to imagine that these lands had once been green and full of life before the second blight. The Fade here was full of the memories of the thousands of lives that had been lost here. The corruption of the Blight had wiped out everything, yet the land was slowly recovering. Time and time again they encountered plants and animals, that had found a way to survive out here. How ironic was it that they had come here to fight the ones that once had defended these lands. They could see Warden's fortress Adamant lying in the desert, one of the few places that were still intact in these scorching sands. Once again another organisation had fallen prey to Corypheus' deceit. Together with Hawke and the Warden Loghain, they had discovered that the Wardens were aided by a Tevinter magister named Erimond. He had convinced the Wardens to perform blood-rituals, fuelled by their own comrades, to create an army of demons to aid them in their attempt to end all future Blights. If their information was correct the Wardens were preparing an even greater ritual to summon an even more powerful demon. The Wardens, blind with fear from the false calling they suffered under, were oblivious that they would be enslaved in the end. They came under the influence of Corypheus, becoming puppets for him to control. Ryan had sent word to Skyhold, and now they were waiting for Cullen and the Inquisition's army to take down the fortress, and stop the Wardens. Eirlana hoped they would make it in time before the Wardens would unleash something that couldn't be undone.

Under a makeshift sunscreen Ryan, Cassandra and Loghain were studying the maps of the fortress, trying to figure out the best way to attack it. Varric and Hawke had found another shady spot and were playing cards. "Sand, sand, sand! Piss." Sera kicked in the sand, making it fly to all sides. "Take that shitty sticky heat." Before jumping after Blackwall into the water of the oasis, they were staying at.

Eirlana had to smile, even when Solas didn't like Sera very much, she liked her. Her loud personality with her unique way of looking at and describing things often made Eirlana laugh. One day Sera had come to talk to her; apparently, she had decided that Eirlana was okay in her books, even though she was a mage. As Sera put it. "You don't care if someone is shit-poor or shitting gold, you see people." She had been extremely pleased after Eirlana had stood up against the nobles in the Dales. Ever since Sera would visit her more often, teasing her occasional with her 'boring elfy relationship'.

Iron Bull sat alone not far from her, staring at the fortress. She missed the Chargers, especially Krem and Dalish, who had become her friends. She was worried about Iron Bull, since the Chargers had died he had changed, he had become quieter and more reserved. To the outside, he acted like his usual self, but Eirlana could tell something deep inside him had shifted. Giving her a warm look Solas walked passed her and up to Iron Bull, sitting down beside him. Since a few days they were challenging each other with a game of chess they played in their minds. Eirlana marvelled at their ability to remember the board. She had long lost track of where all the pieces stood, but they seemed to have no problem whatsoever.

"After careful consideration: Knight to D5." Solas started.

"Arishok takes Pawn at B2." Iron Bull countered. Eirlana was pleased to see he enjoyed this little spar with Solas.

"Mage to D6."

"Arishok takes Tower. Check. What are you doing, Solas?"

"King to E2."

"All right, Tamassran takes Tower. Your last Tower, by the way."

"Pawn to E5."

"Really. I've got my whole army bearing down on your King, and you're moving a Pawn?" Iron Bull looked in disbelief at Solas, who sat quietly and didn't seem phased. "Are you even trying anymore?"

"Think about it."

Iron Bull was quiet for a moment. "All right, Ben-Hassrath to A6."

"Knight takes Pawn at G7. Check."

"Uh-huh. King to D8."

"Queen to F6, Check."

"And now my Ben-Hassrath takes your Queen." Bull grinned. "You've got no Towers. You're down to a single Mage. Too bad you wasted time moving that Pawn to... to..." his eye went big. "You! You sneaky son of a bitch."

"Mage to E7. Checkmate."

Iron Bull grunted. "Nice game, but next time let us invite some dancing girls." and smiled.  
.

It was an impressive sight as the Inquisition's army arrived. They could be seen from far away in the desert, rows and rows of troops marching through the scorching sand. Brontos pulling the heavy wagons with the trebuchets, carts with the supplies and tents. As far as the eye could see there was movement as more and more men arrived at the growing camp in front of Adamant Fortress. Eirlana feared that their arrival would drive even more Wardens into the ritual in an attempt to complete it. With mixed feelings she watched Ryan welcome Cullen and the other officers of the army. His conduct and attitude irked her, something she wasn't used to. Not that she never had negative feelings about people, she hated her former master and her captors, hated what they had done to her. After Solas had freed her it had been a daily struggle for her to learn to trust again, to not be afraid, to not be suspicious of people and their motives. She had to learn what her own values were, how she wanted to live her life. Ryan was pushing against her new found boundaries, pushing against the values she found important. His development as a leader worried her more and more, and she hoped that when all was over, she could leave him and the Inquisition behind her.

"Lady Eirlana." Garrick approached her. "How are you doing? I hope all is well."

"I am fine, thank you." she faintly smiled at him, it was still a little awkward for her to interact with him after their clash in the Chantry at Haven, especially with him calling her now Lady instead of Miss. She had noticed more, and more of the soldiers were referring to her in that way, and she was confused why it was changing.

"Lady Eirlana, I have a favour to ask of you. Can we go somewhere more private?"

Wondering what he wanted she nodded and walked with him.

"I have spoken often with Commander Cullen the last couple of months about the Order. I was shocked what happened to my brethren at Therinfal Redoubt, I never believed the Order could so easily be corrupted. So many templars were blindly and willingly following orders that stood against all the Order stands for. I have always believed that I was called upon by the Maker to protect and serve his will, that being a templar and serving the Order was my destiny. Now I am in doubt. What happened at Therinfal Redoubt wasn't the will of the Maker. How I acted as a templar, how I behaved towards you and other mages wasn't the will of the Maker."

Eirlana listened in silence and began to see Garrick with other eyes. She had mostly seen the templar in him, not the person behind the armor with the flaming sword.

"I want to try to find another way to serve the Maker." Garrick continued. "There are a handful of others who share in my beliefs. We have decided together to follow in Commander Cullen's footsteps and stopped taking lyrium. It has been almost a month now, and we suffer the consequences. Most of us have been lying sick in the wagons on our journey here. I heard from the Commander that you are assisting him in lessening the withdrawal symptoms." He stopped and kneeled before her, bowing his head.

"Lady Eirlana my brothers and I ask for your help, so we may succeed and continue to do the Maker's work." He looked at her. "Please help us."

Flustered at his actions Eirlana quickly answered. "Garrick, please stand, of course, I will help."

Garrick stood up and sighed a "Thank you."

"Come. Take me to the others. I need to examine your conditions."  
.

Everything for the battle was in place. Thick clouds darkened the sky, casting everything in an eerie light, emphasising the grimness of the situation. On a high ridge, the trebuchets stood lined up, ready to fire their deadly loads onto the fortress walls. The army stood ready, the Inquisition's soldiers were excited, determined to prove their expertise and bravery. Proudly they wore the symbol of the Inquisition, their battle cries rang loud and clear, the sound of horns rallied them, and they moved like clockwork, obeying and trusting Cullen's orders. If not for the reason for them being here Eirlana would have been in awe. It was awful to think that despite their training, many of them would be wounded or die, as well as many of the Wardens who were also well trained in warfare. She was standing back with Ryan together with Solas, Sera, Loghain and Blackwall. Varric, Dorian, Iron Bull, Hawke, Cassandra and Vivienne would support the troops on the walls during the assault.

Anxiously she watched as the battle, and the dying began. Flaming boulders flew over their heads, smashing against the fortress and setting it aflame. The Inquisition's army stormed the walls carrying siege ladders, their shields the only protection from the stones and flaming arrows that rained down upon them. With the first of the men reaching the top of the walls, carving a path for others to follow, the colossal battering ram was slowly pushed forward to break down the gates. It's massive bulk soon made the first crack into the gate, and on Ryan's command they ran towards it, passing the bodies of the fallen. The deafening roars of battle and the cries of the wounded were all around them, making Eirlana disoriented. She stayed close to Solas, following his lead. They both had erected their shields to protect them against the arrows flying towards them. With the gate down they ran inside, fighting the resisting Wardens and demons at the side of the troops. Soon they gained the upper hand, and she followed Ryan with the others deeper into the complex fortress. On their way, they fought demons, and Wardens, some of them already under the influence of whatever demon they tried to summon. Ryan, Loghain and Blackwall tried to call out to them, ordering them to stand down. Luckily some of them listened and surrendered. Everywhere they turned they faced the destruction the trebuchets and demons had caused.

When they finally had reached the central courtyard, they had picked up more allies on their way, including Hawke and Varric. A great group of Wardens had gathered here. The air was filled with magical energy, and the runes of a summoning ritual glowed foreboding around a closed rift. As they run closer they saw the Warden Commander slice the throat of one of her men, beside her stood Erimond encouraging her to hurry up.

"Clarel, if you complete that ritual, you're doing exactly what Erimond wants." Ryan yelled out, making everyone turn his attention to him.

"What, fighting the Blight?" Erimond sneered. "Keeping the world safe from darkspawn? Who wouldn't want that? And Yes, the ritual requires blood sacrifice. Hate me for that if you must, but do not hate the Wardens for doing their duty."

Clarel seemed to waver a moment but then proclaimed. "We make the sacrifices no one else will. Our warriors die proudly for a world that will never thank them. We do what is necessary to stop future Blights."

"If you complete this you will turn your mages' minds over to his real master: Corypheus!" Loghain yelled.

Far from giving up Erimond continued. "These people will say anything to shake your confidence, Clarel. Please, you are the only one who can do this."

"Bring it through!" Clarel ordered, blinded by weeks of Erimonds whispers. The Warden mages on the square began to pour their magic into the summoning circle, feeding the rift, creating a portal that slowly opened.

"No!" Eirlana exclaimed. She could feel the demon's power hum through the opening. She felt dizzy. A little overwhelmed by its power she grasped Solas arm and noticed he was also gritting his teeth.

"Stop this!" Hawke yelled drawing his weapons to jump in if need be.

Hoping some of the Wardens would see reason Loghain spoke out. "I betrayed the wardens once, and it cost me everything. Are you mad enough to think I'd do it again?"  
"Don't listen to them! Be ready with the ritual, Clarel. This demon is truly worth of your strength."

Glimpses of the demon could be seen through the portal by now, it was enormous. Some of the Wardens seemed to waver and stepped slowly back from the rift towards the Inquisitor, but none of the mages moved, they already were under the demon's influence. Even Clarel seemed to have second thoughts.

"Clarel, we have come so far." Erimond tried to pursue her.

"Perhaps we could test the truth of these charges, to avoid more bloodshed."

"Fine!" Erimond snapped. "Or perhaps I should bring in a more reliable ally. My master thought you might come here, Inquisitor! He sent me this to welcome you!"

They first could hear the dragon, bringing back the memories of the devastation it had caused in Haven. With its mighty wings, it flew over them unleashing its corrupting fire. Just in time, they managed to jump to the side, all eyes looked to the sky where the dragon turned to attack them again. Suddenly there was a yell, Clarel had finally turned on Erimond and attacked him. "Aid the Inquisitor!" she commanded and ran after the fleeing Erimond. With the ritual halted the demon behind the rift sensed something had gone wrong and sent its minions through to try to stop them. The demons and the mages attacked them, preventing Ryan from running after Clarel, but with the aid of the remaining Wardens they were quickly defeated. With the magic of the ritual still active more demons appeared, they had to stop it.  
.

"Quickly, we have to go after them! Cassandra, Loghain, Hawke, Sera, Solas with me! The rest stay here!" Ryan yelled running after Warden Commander Clarel and magister Erimond.

Eirlana watched as they ran up the stairs, through the corrupting fire of the dragon. Seeing them barely dodging the shards she wanted to go after them. Looking around she saw that Blackwall and Iron Bull were forming a front with the remaining Wardens, fighting off the spawning demons with the others standing behind them. The dragon swooped over them roaring another earth-shattering shriek, before raining more corrupting fire onto the walls, where Ryan and the others had ran out of sight. Memories of Solas horrific wounds flashed through her mind and without a second thought she ran after them.

"Snowflake!" Varric called out.

"Let her. If they need to fight the dragon, she is more needed there." Dorian huffed sending a sizeable electrical charge towards two emerging demons.

Running up the stairs, Eirlana ran after Solas. It was unnerving to move through the fortress alone, destruction and corpses littering the path. She was afraid she would make a wrong turn, but luckily Sera had left a trail of arrows she could follow. With the dragon still circling the fortress, it was apparent he was following Ryan and attacking him.

Several times she had to climb over large pieces of the fortress that had been broken, blocking her way. On the stones, the traces of the claw-marks of the dragon and its scorching breath were clearly visible. Running as fast as she could, Eirlana had almost reached the top of the fort when the dragon landed on the wall above her. It jumping down on the other side, its enormous claws and tail raining stones upon her. Protected by her forcefield, she managed to dodge most of them. Suddenly there was an explosion that shook the walls followed by the dragon's shriek. Turning the corner, she heard Ryan yell "RUN!"

For a split second, the world slowed down as she saw the pathway breaking down with Solas and the others still on it. They ran towards her, trying to escape, but they were not going to make it.

"Solas!" she cried out when the path also crumbled under her feet.

In horror, Solas stared at her as she also fell until the green shimmer of a rift swallowed him.  
.

Landing in a dark shallow pool, Solas was stunned for a moment, his mind still trying to register he had stopped falling. He took a deep breath of the chill air that was strangely stale and clammy. Looking around he was baffled at what he saw, the strange warped landscape, the green sky, the floating islands. He couldn't believe it he was in the Fade in the flesh. Ryan must have opened a rift when he fell, allowing them to pass through. Judging by the surroundings, he had dropped right into the territory of the powerful demon the Wardens tried to summon. He needed to find the others quickly and find a way out of here before the demon would become aware of their presence. Hearing a shriek, Solas spun around. It had sounded like Eirlana, knowing she had also fallen he ran in her direction, hoping it wasn't a fiction of the Fade.

He found her lying on the ground with several fear-spawn on top of her cocooning her in with their webs. A glimmering shield was surrounding her, and the spawn tried to break through it with their pincers. Quickly he ran towards her firing his magic at the foul demons.

Dazed Eirlana lay on her back, she was surrounded by darkness expect the small space she had created with her shield, that shone with a bright light. Something wasn't right there was something touching her skin, fine threads that didn't break as she tried to move. Her mind felt strange like she had difficulty to focus on herself. What had happened? She knew she had fallen and that Ryan had opened a rift, but she had no idea where she was now. Suddenly a hand smashed hard right above her head, startled she let out a shriek. Not knowing where she was she strengthened her shield, repairing the dark crack the hand had created.

"Let me in sweetheart." A deep voice purred.

Eirlana started to shiver, she knew that voice and knew that person was dead. Where ever she was, she was under the influence of some spell.  
"Come on, be a good girl." the voice spoke again.

There was a smack next to her ear. "It looks like she doesn't want to play boss." The wheezing voice of Ferrer hissed, he had been the only one to escape when Solas freed her from her captors. Fearful she slowly turned her head and saw him emerge out of the darkness. Eirlana couldn't move as the fear and terror washed over her, she felt trapped and powerless.

"I am looking for you." he wheezed with a dirty grin on his face.

More hands appeared out of the darkness, smashing against her shield. She was aware she was under the influence of some kind of mind-magic that tapped into her deepest fears, rendering her helpless. Suddenly out of nowhere a giant black wolf with six glowing red eyes grabbed a screaming Ferrer and dragged him into the darkness. The wolf attacked again and again, dragging those away who were trying to break through her shield until there was nobody left.

"Vhenan!"

Free from the magic Eirlana opened her eyes, Solas knelt beside her. He was lifting her out of some kind of webbing, several dead spider-like creatures surrounded them, but she could only stare at the sky. It was filled with some sort of greenish smoke, debris floated everywhere, there were several islands and twisted rocks.

"Are you hurt?"

Trying to process what had happened she slowly shook her head. "Are we...?"

"Yes, we have fallen into the Fade."

 **"Shitballs, fuck, shit, crap! Fade, shit, arse, demons, crap!"** Sera's cussed not too far away.

"Come let's join the others." Solas helped Eirlana to her feet, and quickly found them. They were all a little stunned and at a loss with what they should do. Ryan was clutching his hand in pain where the mark flared angrily. Knowing the Anchor was reacting to the energies of the Fade, Solas rushed to him.

"Inquisitor, what is wrong?"

"This fucking thing is acting up. I don't know why?"

"I can try to use some of the wards I used back in Haven." Solas suggested.

Ryan nodded, and Solas casted a light healing spell to numb the pain while suppressing the Anchor with the little control he had over it. To the outside world it looked like his spell was affecting the mark and it slowly calmed down, but Eirlana saw something entirely different. She stared at what Solas was doing, her eyes picking up his magic traces with ease. Being in the Fade in the flesh was strengthening her magic somehow. She saw the colour of his magic, and it resonated with the mark. It was not the ward or healing magic that was affecting the mark, but Solas' energy that had a calming effect on the magic.

* * *

I am sorry Krem, I will miss you. I clicked on the answer to Iron Bull with my eyes closed on this mission, and talking Cullen back into lyrium is one of the most evil things you can do in my opinion. It is like talking someone back into using heroin I think.


	19. Chapter 19

The journey through the nightmare continues and Ryan has finally a crisis. (about time) and poor Sera, I always feel bad when I take her to the Fade, but her comments in the game are always so brilliant.

Not much else to say except; have fun reading and thanks for all the support ;)

* * *

 **Chapter 19**

.

With the mark calming down Ryan looked around. "Is everyone here?" he was surprised to see Eirlana. "Eirlana, what are you doing here? I told you to stay behind."

Still rattled from the spell the nightmare-spawn had cast on her, Eirlana took a step back. "I... I saw the dragon attack and chase after you. I have seen the damage that dragon can do and wanted to help."

"Hmph." Ryan huffed, clearly not pleased. "I rather had you listened and stayed behind than to land into this mess. I think the others are safer at the moment then we are."

For once Solas agreed with Ryan, he was also not thrilled on her being here. She had followed him into danger once again, and he didn't know yet if he found it a brave or a reckless trait of her.  
"Anyway." Ryan continued. "Solas this is I believe your area of expertise, any advise or words of wisdom for this part of the Fade?"

"As fascinating as physically walking in the Fade is, this wouldn't be the area I would have chosen, of course. I would never have voluntarily come to this part of the Fade. The demon that controls this area is extremely powerful and is some variety of fear, I would guess. We have to be wary of its manipulations and the other denizens of this area, for we already have encountered some of the demon's spawn."

Sera looked frightful around. "Enough talking. It's not a frigging stroll! Shut it, and find the exit?"

"Maybe we can escape through the rift Erimond was creating." Loghain suggested. "In the real world, the rift was nearby, in the main yard. Can we return through that?"

"You mean the one with the huge demon sitting in front of it?"Hawke asked sarcastically.

"Anything beats sitting here and wait for it to find us. Come on let's go, and stay close together." Determined to find a way out, Ryan led the small group forward through the bizarre and twisted landscape of the Fade. In the distance, they could see wraiths roaming over the big dark water puddles that covered the ground. Other spirits stood static, trapped by the memories the Nightmare had captured. Above them, twisted remnants of buildings and rock formations floated in the sky. A pale orb resembling the sun shone through the hazy air, casting long and warped shadows everywhere.

Staying alert, they climbed some stairs onto a dryer section of the Fade where someone was waiting for them.

"Divine Justinia?" Ryan stared in disbelieve at the figure that looked like the Divine.

"Impossible." Loghain mumbled.

The figure wearing the robes of the Divine smiled at them and said. "I greet you, Warden. And you, Champion." strangely pausing as she spoke.  
"Divine Justinia? Most Holy?" Cassandra stepped slowly closer.

"Cassandra." the figure acknowledged her.

"Cassandra, you knew the Divine. Is this really her?" Ryan asked, keeping a wary eye on the figure.

"I... I don't know. It is said the souls of the dead pass through the Fade and sometimes linger, but... We know the spirits lie. Be wary, Inquisitor."

"That can't be the Divine. It's most likely a demon." Loghain agreed.

"You think my survival impossible, yet here you stand alive in the Fade yourselves." If the figure was troubled by their distrust, she didn't show it. "In truth, proving my existence, either way, would require time we do not have."

.

As soon as the Divine came in eyesight, Solas took Eirlana's hand and held her back. It was like he wanted to draw the attention away from them. Eirlana understood why, they were still hiding her abilities from Ryan and the others. If the spirit would focus its attention on them, it could unintentionally reveal what she tried to keep secret. Though hearing Ryan and the others speak with the spirit posing as the Divine, made her want to step in. They were asking all the wrong questions. They approached the spirit as if it was a normal person or even the Divine herself, and not accepting it was a being of the Fade. It had a purpose and therefore a path it would take, dictating its behaviour towards them. With how Ryan and the others reacted to the figure, the depictions of the Divine became stronger, became more. With every reference and reaction of them, the spirit was getting more information, their emotions, hopes and doubts fed it, aiding it in the portrayal of the Divine.

With the spirit already having the form of the Divine, Eirlana didn't doubt that it had some connection with Justinia previous from them meeting it. It had probably been attracted to the life Justinia had led with her strong devotions and beliefs, and the power she wielded over the masses of the faithful. Their emotions alone would have attracted spirits of the Fade. What the spirit was doing in this part of the Fade however she didn't know, maybe it got trapped during the explosion at Haven and now saw its opportunity to escape.

In the meanwhile, the spirit had explained to Ryan that the Nightmare demon had stolen his memories. The demon was serving Corypheus, growing fat on the fear and terror the Blight had brought into this world.

"They Nightmare has found us." the spirit suddenly announced and out of nowhere wraiths materialised around them and attacked. They were quickly defeated, and Ryan looked around, but the spirit imposing as the Divine had disappeared. While turning, he came in contact with the residual energy of one of the wraiths and suddenly there was a flash of a vision around them.

The Fade was reacting to Ryan's presence as he started to remember what had happened at the conclave.

They saw the Temple of Sacred Ashes still intact. In a room, Divine Justinia was floating in the air, trapped and held prisoner by magical energies conjured by several Warden mages that surrounded her.

"Now is the hour of our victory." Corypheus sounded.

"Why are you doing this? You of all people?" the Divine pleaded with the Wardens.

"Keep the sacrifice still." Corypheus ordered as he stepped forward and held up the orb, activating it. The orb's magic seemed to draw upon the life of the Divine, draining her spirit, her life-force.

Afraid the Divine called out. "Someone help me!"

"What's going on here?" Ryan stormed inside the room.

With everyone distracted the Divine managed to pull one arm free and slapped the orb out of Corypheus hand, ending its draining effect on her. The orb rolled towards Ryan; before Corypheus could stop him, he picked it up and was affected by its magic.

.

"So Andraste didn't bestow her mark upon you. It came from the orb Corypheus used in the ritual." Loghain rubbed his eyes, like all of them recovering from the vision they just saw.

"Corypheus intended to rip open the Veil, use the Anchor to enter the Fade, and throw open the doors to the Black City. Not for the Old Gods but for himself. When you disrupted his plan, the orb bestowed the Anchor upon you instead." the spirit, who had appeared again, explained.

"So this was, what, an accident?" Ryan asked in disbelief. "A random ricochet in the middle of a fight?"

No, Eirlana thought, he shouldn't get emotional, he was feeding into the spirit's manifestation.

"And if it was?" the spirit asked.

"If it was, then neither the Maker nor Andraste were in any way involved in this! I'm just..."

"If you believe in the Maker, then you believe He made this world and everything in it, including your accident.

And if you do not, then nothing has changed. You cannot escape the liar of the Nightmare until you regain all that it took from you. You have recovered some of yourself, but now it knows you are here. You must make haste. I will prepare the way ahead." and with that, it vanished again.

While Hawke and Loghain discussed the fact that the Wardens were involved in what happened at the Temple of Sacred Ashes, Cassandra stepped towards Ryan. "Could that truly have been the Most Holy?"

"We have survived in the Fade physically." Solas theorised. "Perhaps she did as well. Or, if it is a spirit that identifies so strongly with Justinia that it believes it is her, how can we say it is not?"

With everyone still somewhat distracted Eirlana pulled Solas closer. "What are you doing?" she whispered.

"We need to get out of here." Solas whispered back. "I know that was not Justinia, but their minds are not trained like ours. They need this hope to move on."

Eirlana felt not entirely comfortable with what he had said, true they needed hope, but this was false hope, if shattered it could have unforeseen consequences.

Loghain grumbled. "Whether she is a spirit or a demon, she wishes to help us... for the moment, at least."  
"So she's not real? Then the Nightmare's fake, too, right? Right?" Sera asked hopefully.

"It is a fear demon, as I suspected, drawing on terrors related to the Blight." Solas explained. "Fear is a very old, very strong feeling. It predates love, pride, compassion... every emotion save perhaps desire. Be wary. The Nightmare will do anything in its power to weaken our resolve."

"Ah we have visitors." the booming voice of the Nightmare was suddenly heard all around them, sending chills through them. "Some foolish little boy comes to steal the fear I so kindly lifted from his shoulders. You should have thanked me and left your fear where it lay, forgotten. You think that pain will make you stronger? What fool filled your mind with such drivel? The only one who grows stronger from your fears is me."

"We will see about that." Ryan grumbled.

"But you are a guest here in my home, so by all means, let me return what you have forgotten." The demon was clearly amused by their presence, a pleasant diversion for it to play with. The feeling of constantly being watched followed them as they moved forward, hoping to find a way out of this nightmare.

.

It didn't take long before they encountered more of the demons that lived in this part of the Fade, wraiths, shades and rage demons tried to stop their advancement, as well as surprise attacks from the nightmare-spawn. The spiderlike creatures appeared time and time again out of thin air, descending onto them by their threads.

"What are those things." Cassandra yelled.

"These are, but minor servants of the Nightmare, little fears, tiny manifestations spawned from the Nightmare itself. Stay clear of their webbing; they have a magical effect." Solas explained while firing his magic at them. Of all the dangers they faced, they were the ones they had to be most careful with. It was easier said than done to stay clear of the webs in the heat of combat. It was to easy to step into them, for they covered parts of the walls, forming thick nests filled with the spawn's eggs.

Sera was the first one that was trapped by them. She had jumped back during one of her attacks and landed in them. Almost immediately she was overcome and lost consciousness. When they freed her, she woke with a scream and drew her bow.

"STAY AWAY!" she yelled, looking terrified around, aiming her bow from one person to the next.

"Sera!" Ryan bellowed. "Stop! We are here to help you."

Slowly Sera lowered her bow.

"Come let's try to find our way out."

Breathing heavy she mumbled. "Yes, exit. Need to get out. This shitty place is wrong."

She followed Ryan, but kept her bow knocked at all times, whatever she had seen had shaken her to the core.

As if it knew they were in trouble the Nightmare started to speak again.

"Perhaps I should be afraid, facing the most powerful members of the Inquisition." It chuckled.

"Shut it!" Sera yelled.

"Sera, Sera, Sera... If you shoot an arrow at me, I'll know where you are." it teased.

"Out of my head. Shit-balls!"

"Your Inquisitor is a fraud, Cassandra." It continued. "Yet more evidence there is no maker. That all your 'faith' has been for nought."

"Die in the void, demon." Cassandra replied stoic but kept a wary eye on her surroundings.

The Nightmare laughed and moved on to the next person.

"Dirth ma, harellan. Ma banal enasalin. Mar solas ena mar din."

Eirlana's ears twisted at the raw pronunciation of the elven language.

"Banal Nadas." Solas replied calmly

"Ah Eirlana, all free now. I have two friends who are looking for a new **pet**."

Not wanting to reply Eirlana stepped closer to Solas, hoping they would soon find a way to leave this place.

"Teryn Loghain Mac Tir, the brilliant commander. Pity the one time you tried to rule; you failed so miserably. You had to be beaten, humiliated, lest you destroy your own country. You even doomed the Wardens by bringing the Inquisitor down on them. You destroy everything you touch."

Loghain grunted "Is that all you've got? It's nothing I've not said to myself."

"Did you think you mattered, Hawke? Did you think anything you ever did mattered? You couldn't even save your city. How could you expect to strike down a god? You're a failure, and your family died knowing it."

Gritting his teeth, Hawke muttered. "I'm going to enjoy killing this thing."

They moved forward engaging even more demons. Solas noticed how more powerful Eirlana was here in the Fade. Being in direct contact with the source of her power strengthened her abilities. She seemed unstoppable, lashing out with ease at anything that blocked their way. He himself felt it also, the tingle in his fingers, the familiar strength returning, urging him to show his true colours. It was tempting to try it out, but remembering his role of a simple apostate, he dampened his magic.

He kept an eye on Eirlana, fascinated by the effects the Fade had on her, how it strengthened her, but for all her abilities she was still limited to what she knew. When they encountered a despair demon and two pride demons, she struggled. Her ice spells having little effect on the despair demon that attacked her.

Solas stepped forward to aid her, distracted he didn't see the attack of the pride demon on time and was hit with full force. It shattered his forcefield, and he was slammed back into a wall that was covered in webbing. Dizzy by the impact he needed a moment to recover and only faintly registered the scuttling noise of one of the nightmare-spawn above his head. He knew he was in danger when he felt his mind was already losing focus. Desperately he tried to get to his feet and escape, but it was to no avail, the world around him grew dark as he was pulled under.

.

In his war room, Solas studied the map of one of Andruil's palaces, a couple of fighters stood around him looking at the places he had marked on the map. Most of them were former slaves, determined and willing to risk their lives to free others, but other than that they didn't believe in Solas' other causes. Not that it mattered, this revolt was the start, the beginning of changing the world, to restore its balance. Solas had since long ago learned not to share too much of his plans, to often had he been betrayed, to often people had laughed at him and mocked him for his controversial opinions. Only Mythal seemed to understand him, but like the other Evanuris she was bound by her power and status, tied to the rigid worldviews that had created her. No one saw that so much more was at stake, no one understood why change was necessary.

Patiently he explained to the others his plans for the next assault. Andruil was holding another hunt, and they would be there to spoil her 'fun'. Solas himself would lead the attack, spreading havoc under her hunters, enabling the other fighters to rescue and free her prey.

"Solas?"

He froze and spun around, his dreadlocks whipping around his face. Eirlana stood behind him in his war room looking straight at him. Why was she here? She couldn't see this; she couldn't know, she shouldn't be here.

"Vhenan." he said flustered at what she had discovered. "I... I can explain."

The look in her eyes was one of shock, horror and disbelief. "You lied to me!" she yelled and ran away.

For a moment Solas stood frozen to the ground, slowly the room around him was disintegrating, his men, the room and its contents turning into dust, falling apart and disappearing in the wind. Everything around him vanished, the building he stood in, the people that lived there, the trees that grew outside. "Eirlana!" Solas yelled out to her, afraid she would also disappear. He could see her in the distance, running farther away from him. He ran after her as fast as his feet would carry him.

The landscape around him was empty, barren and deprived of life. Above him the sky was dark and crackling, the Fade and the world unbalanced, broken and in disarray. There was nothing of the world left as far as the eye could see, everything had slowly turned into dust.

Solas ran after Eirlana for he didn't know how long. Nothing changed in this forsaken land except the ground he walked on. It was becoming damper, and soon he ran through a thin layer of water. With Eirlana still in sight, he ran further until he stumbled over something. Looking down he discovered he had tripped over the body of a dead elf. It lay mangled in a pool of blood. It wasn't water he had been running through but blood. Shocked he looked around and saw he was surrounded by bodies lying twisted in a sea of blood. All of them were elves, people of his time mixed with the elves of this era. Soldiers, powerful mages, slaves, servants, Dalish, commoners, mothers, children, they all lay in heaps together, like someone had discarded them without a second thought. All of them were dead; their soulless clouded eyes stared at him wherever he turned.

Horrified by the sight Solas stumbled further, turning wildly from side to side. Eirlana, he needed to find her. Looking around for her he noticed several spirits that hung lifeless in the air, slowly dissolving into nothingness. Panicked Solas searched for anyone, anything that had survived, that had escaped the chaos. He waded through this endless sea of death. The destroyed sky was crackling above his head; everything was gone.

Some of the corpses he recognised, they were wearing the faces of old friends, comrades, enemies, fellow fighters, others were elves he had known only recently, his agents, elves working for the Inquisition. All of them were witness to his failure, their eyes haunting him where ever he turned.

Something caught his eye not too far away, something pale and white lay in this sea of red. Fear froze his heart, and he ran towards it. He tripped over the bodies and fell into the blood in his haste. His deepest fear becoming true when he recognised Eirlana.

"No, no, no!" his throat closed up.

In horror, Solas fell to his knees next to her battered body. Trembling he picked her up, cold and lifeless she lay in his arms, his hands leaving bloody prints on her skin. Tears clouded in his eyes, and he pressed her against him. Her eyes were closed, and with shaking hands, he brushed her hair out of her face.

All of a sudden she opened her eyes. "It is all your fault." she hissed at him before her eyes turned milky white.

Guilt, pain and loneliness washed over him. She was right it was all his fault, he had failed the People, he had failed her. Now all that was left was him, he was all alone, alone in his failure, alone in this world he created. He had lost all that he held dear. Tears fell on Eirlana's lifeless face as he sobbed.

Slowly the sea of bodies surrounding him caught fire until everything around him was engulfed and consumed by blue flames.

"No!" he yelled out in panic as Eirlana's body was also catching fire.

"Solas!"

Rattled and panting he opened his eyes and saw Eirlana crouching before him, the webbing that had trapped him still smouldering from her fire. Carefully she touched his face, healing the cut he had gained from the fight.

Solas felt her hand, warm and alive against his skin. He grabbed it and pressed it against his cheek. Alive, she was alive, this was real. It wasn't too late; he hadn't' failed yet.

"Is he alright?" Ryan asked, standing behind her.

Realising they were still in the Fade, Solas let go of her. Ignoring her worried look, he got to his feet. "I am. We best make haste, before more of us are getting trapped."

.

Under the guidance of the spirit of the Divine Ryan remembered more about what had happened at the conclave. How he was trapped in the Fade and how it was de Divine that urged him on to escape the nightmare-spawn that were after him. How she waited for him and did not escape through the rift that was visible behind her. How they ran towards it and how the Divine was being grabbed and dragged away, forcing Ryan to escape on his own.

"It was you." Ryan said grieving. "They thought it was Andraste sending me from the Fade, but it was the Divine behind me and then you... she died."

The spirit looked sorrowful, reflecting Ryan's emotions. "Yes. I am sorry if I disappoint you." Slowly the Divine's form faded and the spirit returned to its true form, a being of the Fade.

"Devotion." Eirlana whispered, recognising the essence of the spirit, but nobody heard her. All eyes were watching the spirit as it disappeared.

Ryan stared defeated to the ground, lost in his thoughts.

"Inquisitor." Solas stepped towards him, fearing the Fade and revelations were getting to him.

"I left her." Ryan mumbled. "I could have saved her. By the Maker, I abandoned the Divine." Knowing that he had run up front, leaving the Divine vulnerable to an attack in the back had shattered him. "Maker, I have failed her." he fell to his knees. "I killed the Divine."

"Inquisitor! We need to move on." Solas said.

Ryan stared at them in disbelief. "I killed her; I left her here."

Solas had never seen him so shaken. "The nightmare took the Divine. It is a miracle that you escaped the Fade alive. Without you, we wouldn't have stood a chance against the Breach."

Cassandra spoke. "Agreed. The Divine risked her life to save you, and we should honour her sacrifice."

To Solas' relief, Ryan got on his feet again, as much as he disliked the man, they couldn't risk to lose him. "We shouldn't linger here. Real or not, the Divine is the key to escaping from here. "

"What is that? A graveyard?" Cassandra looked at the gravestones lined up, each of them having the name of a member of the Inquisition with their fear engraved on them.

Eirlana stared at her gravestone witch said subjection. It was very unnerving to see her own fear etched on stone for the world to see. She wrapped her arms around herself, knowing all too well what it meant to be an object, a thing, locked away without any form of free will.

"Shit! Let's leave! NOW!" Sera spurred them on, kicking against her tombstone that said the nothing."

As they moved on Eirlana saw Solas' name on one of the stones, it said dying alone.

Under the guidance of the spirit of the Divine, they finally found the rift that was their way out. Unfortunately, Hawke's remark about the giant demon sitting in front of it came true. They all froze as they saw the monstrous form of the Nightmare blocking their way. It was a giant spider-like creature with countless eyes embedded in a fleshy mass of limbs and tentacles.

Eirlana wondered how they could even begin to fight such a monster, when the spirit of the Divine flew towards it, expending all it's energy to drive the Nightmare away.

"If you would, please tell Leliana 'I am sorry. I failed you, too." where its parting words before it disappeared in an explosion of energy and light. It had sacrificed itself to give them a chance to escape, and Eirlana was sure it would be reborn again someday and find another person it could follow and dedicate its existence to.

All that was left was a powerful fear demon blocking their way, with its master disappearance it let out a screeching shriek and attacked them. Other demons came as well, trying to stop them from escaping.

The fight was long and hard. Especially the fighters had a difficult time, for the fear demon teleported, again and again, making them run from one side of the battlefield to the other. Solas and Eirlana stayed close together, concentrating their attacks on the demon, and trying to shield as many people as they could, but it was challenging in this chaotic combat.

Suddenly the fear demon materialised next to Eirlana and hit her with its magic. Out of nowhere, countless hand-sized spiders crawled all over her body, and she shrieked out in fear. Desperately she tried to get rid of them, but they were everywhere. With her concentration gone the demon teleported again and reappeared behind Cassandra and pierced her shoulder with one of its pincers. Cassandra swung around and bashed it with her shield, but she was severely wounded. Dazed the demon didn't teleport away in time to dodge Ryan's attack, that was the final blow to the creature. They had killed it.

Solas ran towards Cassandra who was staggering, bleeding severely from her shoulder. Eirlana followed him and stopped the bleeding, but couldn't heal her properly before the wound was cleaned from the demon's poison.

"GO!" Ryan yelled at them.

Solas gave Eirlana his staff so that he could grab Cassandra, with her injured shoulder she needed to lean onto him to get quickly to the rift. Sera was already at the opening, yelling at everyone. "Freaking HURRY UP!"

Eirlana stayed close to Solas, continually looking around if there were any more demons. A couple of the nightmare-spawn came out of the shadows. Loghain, Hawke and Ryan immediately attacked them.

"Keep going." Ryan yelled at them.

At the rift, Solas looked back and saw Ryan and the others already had killed the small threat and were running towards the rift. "Come, vhenan." he said and stepped through.

Eirlana hesitated, she turned around and waited. Out of nowhere, she saw the giant fear demon reappear again; it had apparently recovered from the powers the spirit of the Divine had unleashed. "Watch out!" she yelled as the demon came down, cutting off Ryan, Loghain and Hawke.

She stepped forward, firing her magic against its many tentacles when all of a sudden Hawke stormed towards the demon, attacking it and drawing its attention to him. Ryan and Loghain managed to dodge beside the demon and ran towards the rift.

Ryan took Eirlana by her arm and pulled her with him. "Come, it is too late."

"No!" she screamed, but she was nowhere strong enough to resist Ryan as he pushed her through the rift.

.

Coming through the rift the sight Solas saw was chaotic. The rift was surrounded by both the Inquisition's troops and the Wardens fighting the onslaught of demons. They kept an eye anxiously on the rift, hoping for any sign of the Inquisitor. With the Inquisitor's party reappearing they formed a protective wall, keeping the demons away from the rift. Two soldiers stepped forward and took over the wounded Cassandra.

Turning around Solas expected Eirlana to stand right behind him, but to his shock, she wasn't there. Where was she, why hadn't she stepped through? Fear grabbed his heart as the images of him holding her cold dead body flashed through his mind. He took a step back towards the rift but halted; there was no way for him to survive a second entry into the Fade without the support of the Anchor. A minute went by without any sign of her. What had happened?

Then Loghain reappeared together with Ryan who was looking grim and holding onto Eirlana. Not letting go of her he activated the Anchor and closed the rift behind him. Immediately the demons shrieked out, with their connection to the Fade gone they were banished and disappeared into nothing.

Eirlana pulled herself free from Ryan and stepped away from him, a look of shock on her face. Around her, the troops and Wardens cheered out in victory.

"Where is Hawke?" Varric came running forward. He looked from Ryan to Loghain to her. Sorrow spread through her, and she shook her head slowly.

"Where is Hawke?" Varric asked again, and she had never heard his voice so full of sadness.

"Hawke sacrificed his life to save us and strike a decisive blow against Corypheus." Ryan announced.

Varric shook his head and stormed off, pushing a way through the crowd that had gathered.

"Varric." Eirlana called and ran after him.

.

With hardened eyes, Solas watched Varric and Eirlana disappear. Ryan's words of heroism and sacrifice sounded hollow in his ears. He shook his head when Ryan forgave the Wardens for their foolishness. Like the templars before them, reckless behaviour and following orders blindly without thinking was rewarded once again. The troops spoke of the miracle they had witnessed, how the Inquisitor must have been shielded by the Maker to reappear from the Fade unharmed. It was suffocating to know even if they heard what had really happened; they wouldn't believe it. It felt like he couldn't breathe with the smoke of the smouldering fires and the foul magic of the ritual polluting the air. His thoughts were clouded with what he had seen in the Fade, his failure, the death and destruction he had caused. Thinking back at how he held Eirlana's battered body he started to shake. He needed to get away from here, to get some air and calm himself down. Nobody paid him any mind, and he slipped away from the chaos, fade stepping away from Adamant.

.

Eirlana found Varric outside of the fortress on one of the hills looking out over Adamant. Iron Bull was at his side, and both looked grim. She sat down beside Varric at a loss what she could do.

"What happened?" Varric asked, his voice raw and broken with emotion.

She took a breath and told him what had occurred in the Fade. How they landed in the territory of the Nightmare and their struggle to get out of there. "He just left him there..." she finished.

Varric shook his head. "How could Ryan do that? No."he sighed. "It is something Hawke would do. He would make sure everyone would get out of that hell hole, but he closed it. Ryan closed the rift. Hawke has no chance to..." He wiped his sleeve over his eyes.

Iron bull, who had listened silently, placed a hand on his shoulder and murmured. "Demons, it had to be demons."

Seeing both of her friends grieving the people they had loved the most was hard for Eirlana. She started to tear up, mourning the loss of the Chargers, Hawke and the men that had fallen today. Suddenly she wanted nothing more than to see Solas, to bury herself in his comfort and warmth.

Leaving Varric and Iron Bull she went to look for him. While walking to their tent, Eirlana kept an eye out for Solas, but she didn't see. She sighed and called upon the Fade, searching for him. It was unpleasant; the area was still in turmoil of the battle and drenched by the foul magic of the many blood-rituals the Wardens had performed. To her relief, she quickly found his trail, but it went away from the camp. Why had he gone into the desert?

Worried and with the sun already going down, she saddled one of the dracolisk, that seemed eager to stretch its feet. They had ridden these animals ever since they entered the Western Approach. Their lizard-like physicality was far more suitable to survive out here then the horses or harts. Armed with her staff and some water she rode away, following Solas.

.

Time and time again Solas Fade stepped away from Adamant, aimlessly he walked further into the desert. He needed to get away, away from Ryan, the cheers of victory, the foul magic that lay like a suffocating blanket over the fortress. He stopped when his path was blocked by a cliff rising before him casting a long shadow in the setting sun. Not able to go any further Solas began to walk slowly back and forth, pondering on what had happened in the Fade.

What was he going to do? The nightmare he saw showed the truth about him; countless lives had been lost all through his actions. The elves had paid the price for his deeds, and their blood was on his hands. In his attempt to stop one catastrophe he had created another one. The Nightmare had shown him in part that what he dreaded would happen if he would fail, the People dead, the Fade destroyed, the spirits gone.

He could feel the weight of the world resting on his shoulders, millennia ago he had set things in motion that needed to be concluded. His plan had been initially to tear down the Veil, enter the Fade and reshape the world as it should be. But now with his power gone, the Anchor lost and his orb in the hands of an immortal madman he had no means to do so.

Even when he would somehow succeed in restoring the world what would happen after? What would happen to the elves? He doubted that the elves of this time would be 'cured' of their mortality, but would they be receptive to their heritage? At first, he had dismissed them, but now there were more and more signs they could be saved to some extent. It was wonderful to see Eirlana's affinity with the Fade, and even Sera showed some signs that the magic wasn't completely gone, although Sera tried so hard to deny it. Could he start to hope that not all was lost, that not all what now was would be destroyed?

It frightened him to hope, so much had gone wrong, so much was at stake. Was what he had seen in the nightmare his future, would he fail, would he destroy everything?

So many lives were already lost, his name had become a curse, and he deserved nothing less.

Solas felt tired, tired of fighting, tired of plotting, tired of being misunderstood. He yearned to have a true ally, someone who would listen and understand him, someone he could reflect upon. His thoughts went to Eirlana. Why was it that he met her now, why had she come into his life? He had never thought he would meet someone in this age who was challenging his path. Who even, after all, she had suffered was compassionate, and thinking far beyond her own well-being. Who had a unique spirit, was open-minded and had an understanding that surpassed her young age. Who accepted spirits and people alike. In another world he...

Solas let out a sigh. No, he couldn't hope for more. In the end, he had always stood alone, being called a madman, a fool, a liar by both his enemies and the people closest to him. They had denounced him, degraded him as someone who wasn't worth listening to. He was alone, alone to fight a battle no one was willing to see. It was a path of death and misery, a path he needed to follow, and he hated every step along the way. It was a path he didn't wish upon anyone, and a path nobody could follow him on.

Yet he couldn't give up, even when greed, misplaced worship and pride was still embedded in the elven people, like the elves of Arlathan and the Dales before them. He laughed, pride; pride had been his own downfall, a name he still carried to this day, Solas the once oh so proud general, the calculating wolf of battle, the victor in countless battles. And this battle was far from over; he needed to continue, he couldn't falter now.

.

It was strange to ride alone into the desert with the setting sun. After the chaos of the siege of Adamant, it was almost to quiet in this landscape of sand and rocks.

Eirlana was worried about Solas. Why would he run off? Was it because of the nightmare? He had looked so shocked when she had freed him out of the webbing.

"Dirth ma, harellan. Ma banal enasalin. Mar solas ena mar din." Why had the nightmare said this to him? Why would it call Solas a rebel, a traitor? Which victory was it talking about and why would pride be his death? It was true that Solas was a proud man, but why would it be his downfall? What did it all mean?

How was he able to influence the mark? Was he somehow connected to the orb? No, that couldn't be. He was a gifted mage, but his power was nothing compared to the power of the mages of old. Even when her suspicion about him was correct, he would have been considered minor talented in his time, and not someone who could wield one of these orbs. What she had seen in murals and in the Fade, was that the orbs always were connected to beings of unlimited power, the so-called gods. And Solas was just an ordinary man.

Finally, she spotted him walking back and forth in front of a cliff. She was relieved he hadn't wandered too far away from the main camp. Behind her, the outline of Adamant and the fires of the Inquisition's camp were visible against the rising moon. Quickly she dismounted and went to him.

.

Solas looked up as Eirlana approached and stared at her in disbelief, as if he doubted she was really here. The look in his eyes shocked her; it was one of despair, he looked so tired, almost broken.

"Solas." she rushed to him and embraced him. Whatever had he seen in the Fade? What was haunting him? She didn't know what to do. How could she help him?

At first, he didn't react, but slowly her embrace pulled him away from the haunting images from the Fade. His arms encircled her, pulling her even closer to him. He took a deep breath, taking in her scent, she smelled of battle, a stale mixture of sweat, smoke and blood, but mixed within there were also traces of her, her magic, the faint scent of herbs and wild flowers.

Feeling how he clung to her Eirlana started to stroke his back.

"What is wrong?" She whispered, pressing a kiss against his head.

At that moment Solas felt it all, the weight that threatened to crush him, the millennia of secrecy and scheming. He wanted to tell her, tell her all of it. He was tired of standing alone, alone in his rebellion, alone in his struggle.

Why had it taken so long for him to meet someone like her? To find a light amidst all the tranquil, a bright, pure soul not polluted by the hunger for power, for might, for dominance.

With him not saying anything Eirlana grew more worried. "What happened? Can I do something? Anything?"

"Everyone was dead. Everything was destroyed." Solas' voice choked. "You... you were dead." he held her tightly, burying himself against her shoulder. Somehow speaking about what he had seen out loud made it more real.

"Oh, love." she held him tightly, kissing his head. Her heart broke, knowing what his gravestone had said. "I am not going anywhere. I won't leave you."

"Everything was destroyed, I failed..."

"Don't worry we will find a way." She knew how committed he was to help, the hours he spent studying the Veil and the rifts, translating ancient texts and define magical objects they found. How worried he was about the damage to the Fade.

"We will find a way to defeat Corypheus."

.

Hearing her voice and feeling her warmth stirred something in Solas. He needed her; he needed to feel her, to know she was alive, to feel her love, her passion, to burn away the haunting images of the nightmare. He inhaled her scent deeply, raising his head he stared at her, his eyes filled with need and hunger.

"Solas?" Eirlana asked not knowing what had changed.

Suddenly he was upon her, kissing her desperately, his need almost consuming him.

"I need you." he said, his voice deep almost growling.

His sudden affection overcame Eirlana. This was not their usual gentle kisses; he was taking, claiming her. He walked her back until she was pressed against the rock-wall and he loomed over her. Panting Solas stopped, he didn't want to hurt her, didn't want to push her into something she didn't want. Trying to calm himself he leaned his forehead against hers.

Taken aback by his overwhelming outburst Eirlana stared at him, she could see he was trying to pull back, but did she want that? Her own emotions were raw from all that had happened, the fighting, the Nightmare, the loss of good people, of Hawke. She also needed him, wanted to feel him, to know he was alive, to know he was alright. Her own fire ignited, she pulled him closer against her and captured his lips.

Solas growled possessively, answering her kisses with vigour. Their kisses were all teeth and tongue, their lips getting red and bruised from the force. His heart swelled with even more love and desire in the way she responded, he held her tight, never wanting to let her go. He wanted to feel more of her.

"Vhenan." he breathed against her ear, his voice low and raw.

Pinned between the rock-wall and Solas' broad chest, Eirlana let herself being swept away by their need. She gasped when he trusted his hips, and she could feel his desire pressing against her lower stomach. He swallowed her gasp up with his hungry mouth and started to tug at her clothing.

Responding to her own need to feel his skin, Eirlana loosened his belt and pushed his coat off his shoulders so she could slip her hands under his shirt.

Solas groaned feeling her fingers run over his chest and his pounding heart. He pushed her skirt to the side and started to fumble with the bindings of her leggings. Suddenly there was a tearing sound as he tore the cords out of their seams in his haste.

Panting they both stopped, looking in disbelief at the torn cordage in his hands.

Solas smirked and threw the cordage aside, not wanting to wait any longer he ripped her leggings further open with his fingers.

Eirlana couldn't believe that he tore her clothing, exposing her to the cold night air, but before she could object, he lifted her, pressing her back against the rock behind her. Holding onto his neck, her legs curled naturally around his hips.  
"Ma lath." he growled before he captured her lips again and started to trust.

The dracolisk looked up as the sounds of their lovemaking filled the air. Not caring what they were doing he chewed on the beetle it had captured and went looking for more.

.

The stars sparkled in the night sky and the moon bathed the desert in its cool light. Eirlana sat naked amidst their discarded clothes, with Solas sleeping against her. His head lay on her lap, and his arms were curled possessively around her waist, not wanting to let go of her even in his sleep. Gently she stroked his head, glad he had finally given in to his exhaustion. With worry and love in her heart, she studied his sleeping face, hoping he would find some rest in the Fade.

"Sleep well, ma lath." she whispered and smiled when he nuzzled himself more against her with a smile on his lips.

She was also tired, tired from the battle and their wild, almost desperate, lovemaking. In a stormy lust, they had made love over and over again. She knew they both would have some bruises in the morning that weren't from the combat. A wind blew over the desert, cooling her sweaty heated skin and making her shiver. Carefully she reached out for his jacket and wrapped it around herself, protecting her somewhat from the frigid air. His shirt was the only piece of clothing she could reach without waking him, and she spread it out over him, covering his upper body. As always he was warm; clearly, he was not as chilly as she was.

Watching his sleeping face, she hoped he would heal from his ordeal from the Fade; everyone was dead he had said. Remembering his tombstone, he must have seen his greatest fear. She had been fortunate that her shield had protected her when she had been trapped in the webbing because she could easily imagine what the Nightmare had in store of her. Her eyes fell on Solas' necklace that lay in the sand. Why had she seen that image of a wolf in the Fade and not Solas dragging away her nightmares? She shook her head, knowing that the Fade would have picked up a fragment of her mind to give form to her rescuer. With Solas always wearing the necklace and her own necklace depicting a wolf, it wasn't that usual, but still, she found it strange, especially it's eyes.

Staring at the stars and the fires in the distance Eirlana stayed awake. Without wards to protect them, she couldn't fall asleep in this dangerous desert, and she couldn't get up to set some without waking Solas. Knowing he would insist on guarding over her, she let him sleep and heal.

.

Solas woke up early, the first rays of sunshine coloured the morning sky in lovely shades of pink. At first, he was confused that he lay naked in a bed of shed clothes and sand. He looked up and saw Eirlana smiling fondly at him. The memories of how they spent last night came back to him, and he abruptly sat up. They were both covered with patches of dried sand, and he could see several bruises of bite-marks and purple and red hickeys covering her neck and chest.

Seeing Solas was about to apologise to her, Eirlana kissed him. "Good morning."

He kissed her back. "Good morning, vhenan."

A little flustered they got up, brushing off the sand that stuck to their bodies, and shook out their clothes as best they could. Eirlana giggled as she tried to put on her torn leggings.

"I am sorry." Solas said and handed her his belt to help her keep them up.

"Don't worry. No one will notice." She smoothed her skirt out over them.

"No, I meant."

"Solas, we spent a wonderful night together. We both needed it." She walked up to him and kissed him again. "And you haven't seen the scratches I left on your back."

Chuckling, he brushed his nose against hers. "I wish I could."

Stretching herself out, she yawned, her body was aching from yesterdays battle and lovemaking.

Seeing how tired she was, Solas worried look returned. "You should have woken me."

"You needed to rest." she was silent for a moment, and Solas could see her ponder.

"Solas, what happened yesterday in the Fade?"

"What do you mean?" he looked at her puzzled.

"With Ryan, with the mark. I saw how it reacted to your energy, how it calmed down."

Those eyes, Solas thought, they were wondrous, beautiful and dangerous. "I know." he answered, not entirely sure what he should tell her. "I discovered I could influence the mark in Haven, when I tried to save Ryan's life and revive him. Back then I probed the mark with my magical energy to try to discover it's connection to the Breach. I hoped to find something, anything that could help us close it." He confessed but didn't tell her his frustrations that he couldn't do more with the Anchor.

"Do you know why you can influence it?"

"I suspect it has something to do with my affinity with the Fade. That is how I stopped it from consuming Ryan, but I couldn't activate or influence its function. While studying it I discovered it's reaction to magical energy, but I don't know how and why. Now we know it originated from the foci Corypheus wields, and how he used it in an attempt to absorb the Divine's life force, the mark may have a similar affinity for energy. At any rate, I never told anyone what I discovered. There was so much fright and distrust among the people in Haven I feared how they would react. I had to work under the constant watchful eyes of Cassandra and the templars. I cast numerous wards and spells trying to keep Ryan alive, with the ever-growing Breach I was desperate. In a risky attempt I poured my energy directly into the mark and discovered how it slightly stabilised, how my energy somehow calmed the chaos the mark was in." he sighed. "I am sorry I didn't tell you, but I feared for my life as well as yours, for I have no doubt how they would have reacted if they would have found out."

"They would think you were responsible." Eirlana said, understanding his need for secrecy.

"I couldn't let that happen, and after discovering Ryan's opinion towards magic, I didn't investigate the mark any further than necessary. We had other priorities, closing rifts, gaining allies to close the Breach. Now we know where the Mark comes from it for sure isn't safe to tell them."

"They would think you are connected to the orb, but you couldn't be. You were with me, and you would never work together with Corypheus."

It was like she stabbed him in the chest. How would her world shatter if she ever would find out that every word she just said was the truth? "I am afraid that won't matter."

"Maybe we can discover more when we defeat Corypheus and get the orb." she said hopefully.

"That is also my hope. For now, we need to be careful. Even with our aid I am not pleased the direction the Inquisition is taking, and I am getting frustrated with Ryan's decisions" he huffed. "But it doesn't matter; the important thing is we do everything to defeat Corypheus and get hold of the orb before more happens."

.

They mounted the dracolisk, and Eirlana leaned back, getting comfortable against Solas' chest. She yawned again, and Solas held her so she could relax. Slowly they rode back to the camp. He kissed her softly on her head, knowing he really didn't deserve her trust.

"Vhenan, what did it feel like for you to be in the Fade?" he asked.

"It would have been nice if we didn't had to land in the middle of the territory of that Nightmare." she mumbled sleepily.

"I agree." he laughed. "But I don't know, somehow it was strange. My magic felt clearer, purer, even in that place. I also noticed my spells were stronger, but your abilities were remarkable."

"I felt the same. My magic felt more like how it is when I am dreaming, but it was far more intense." she nestled herself against him. "I'm just glad we made it back and survived."

"So am I."

Eirlana was half asleep when they arrived at their tent, the rest of the camp was just starting to wake up. Solas gently coaxed her inside and made sure she would lie down. "Get some sleep." he told her softly and activated the cooling stones they had made so that the tent wouldn't heat too much under the sun.

"Stay." she murmured, but Solas had already slipped out of the tent. He needed to see how things had developed after yesterdays battle.

.

"Miss Eirlana?"

Eirlana stirred, slowly waking up. "Yes." she responded still half asleep.

"I am sorry to disturb you, but we have a problem with the injured from the battle. An unknown disease is spreading amongst the wounded."

Tired Eirlana sat up; it felt like she had only been asleep for a couple of hours. Looking around she noticed Solas hadn't returned and she felt a little disappointed.

"Miss Eirlana?" the sister outside called out to her again.

"Give me a moment, I am coming." she sighed and quickly grabbed some fresh clothes. Opening the tent, she was greeted by the scorching heat outside.

"What is the problem?" she asked while following the sister through the camp.

"Some of the soldiers have gotten sick; they are suffering from exhaustion, headaches, nausea, vomiting. The most severe cases suffer from muscle cramps and uncontrolled shivering."

When they entered the medical tent, the smell of the ill welcomed them. The sisters and healers were overrun by the sudden development of this unknown disease. This would be a long and unpleasant day Eirlana thought while she put on her apron.

Here it was Solas found her a few hours later. He had returned to their tent and wasn't happy she had gotten up already. She looked tired, and he wished she would have taken more time to rest.

"Vhenan."

Eirlana looked up. "I just wanted to get some air." She quickly washed her hands and walked with him outside.

"Have you even slept?" he asked looking concerned at her.

"Not very long." she confessed. "There was a medical emergency."

"You are working too much." he brushed his thumb over her cheek.

"Says the man who left as soon as I closed my eyes."

If I could I would stay with you forever Solas thought. "I went to look for the Inquisitor, and I have some bad news. The Wardens had reports of Venatori activity farther into the desert to the north. It looks like they are searching for something. Ryan wants to go and stop them before they find it and it has been decided that Iron Bull, Sera and I are going with him."

"You are leaving?"

He sighed. "Someone has to go, and most of us are needed here to deal with the aftermath of the siege."

He wasn't thrilled to go, but the Venatori had to be stopped, and he was also wondering what they were looking for, as far as he knew no elven buildings had survived out here. With Vivienne being sent to Val Royeaux to report to Emperor Gaspard, Dorian not trusted and Eirlana being occupied with the wounded, the choice of accompanying the Inquisitor had once again fallen on him. At least that would give him an opportunity to keep an eye on Ryan.

"When are you going?"

"Soon, I came to say goodbye."

They embraced each other and Solas pressed his lips against her forehead.

"Try to get some rest, while I am gone."

"And you be careful."

"I will vhenan."

* * *

I find the decision of who to leave behind in the Fade always the hardest when I have Alistair and Hawke with me, especially if I have romanced Alistair. I blame the game for making all the other companions run for the exit without looking back :(

And poor Varric, the way how he asks about Hawke always breaks my heart.


	20. Chapter 20

Hey everyone,

Bioware why did you make Haven and Skyhold in a permanently frozen environment, it messes up my timeline and seasons XD

It is Wintersend in Skyhold. I couldn't find much information about the holiday other than it is the celebration of the end of winter, contests and celebrating the Maker. I put my spin on it and it ended up with a crossover with Christmas, decoration wise. I original planned to do Satinalia but at that rate we never would get spring at Skyhold

On another note, I know Iron Bull asks Varric to get him cocoa in the game, but as much as I can't imagine Solas hating tea, I can't imagine a world where there is no chocolate

Thank you so much for your comments and likes. You guys are awesome!

* * *

 **Chapter 20**

After the Inquisitor had left, the unknown disease spread like wildfire, in a matter of days hundreds of soldiers were ill. They suffered from exhaustion, combined with shivering, cramps, headaches, vomiting, dizziness and heavy limps. The soldiers wounded from the siege were the most affected, and a cure had yet to be found.

Cullen rubbed his forehead, the whole of the Inquisition's army stood at a standstill. With so many ill the healers had a hard time to keep up, and the return to Skyhold was delayed for lack of manpower. He rechecked the list of tasks that still hadn't been completed. "For know concentrate on dismantling the trebuchets." he ordered to the three officers that stood at his field desk.

"Yes, Commander." they saluted and left.

Cullen sighed, at least they had the help of the Wardens. Their new allies were helping out where they could, but progress was slow, and he still hadn't figured out how to transport so many sick back to Skyhold.

"Commander, there is a healer here who wishes to give a report." One of the Warden messengers announced.

"Let them in." Cullen sighed. "What is the situation?" he asked without looking up.

"I think I finally tracked down the source of the disease." Eirlana answered.

He made a small jump hearing her voice; he hadn't expected her to come to report to him.

"Eirlana. Come in, take a seat." He pointed to one of the benches.

She smiled at him and accepted the cup of water he poured for her. With a small gesture, she cooled it slightly.

Cullen felt her using her powers; his templar-senses hadn't dulled even without the lyrium. Like other templars, he had conditioned himself to detect the faintest trace of magic. It was still strange to him how she and Solas used their magic so differently. Back in the Circles magic was controlled and monitored; mages used their power only when necessary. This casual way Eirlana and Solas used their powers was new to him, and he had never met any mage that displayed the wide variety in usage they both showed. Especially Solas used his powers often and didn't seem to bother to hide his talents, even when public. Cullen wondered how, with that attitude, Solas had managed to live undetected by templars for so long.  
Pouring himself a cup he leaned against the table. "What did you say about the sick?"

"It looks like we managed to contain the immediate spread of the disease, in part thanks to Wardens that have jumped in to help. I believe it is some sort of stomach bug, but our current circumstances make our men more ill than they should be. The heat, lack of sufficient clean water, traces of the Blight and exposure to the magical energies of the ritual have weakened our men in their fight against the disease. So far the Wardens have been less affected, I suspect because they are immune to the Blight and have been stationed here longer. Their healers told me they also had some cases, but less severe. Cassandra and the soldiers that have fought close to the rift are the most ill at the moment. Currently, we have moved the sick to the tents closest to the healers' post so we can make our rounds easier. With so many having become ill I am worried the Inquisitor and the others could be affected as well. Has there been any word from them?"

"No, so far they have only reported that they are still travelling to their destination. They have to travel during the night because the heat has them grounded during the day. I will inform them of your findings." he made some notes. "How is Cassandra doing?"

"Recovering, the worst is behind her I believe."

"That's good to hear. What is your further recommendation?"

"I have constructed a potion that eases the symptoms, light healing spells, sufficient rest and clean drinking water have shown more improvements among the ill, but so far we haven't found a cure. For now, my advice is to separate the healthy from the sick. The ones that have not been affected yet should take care to get enough rest and reduce their work during the heat of the day to a minimum. I have talked with the healers of the Wardens, and they have suggested that the Wardens could help out more during the day and that our troops could take over the night and morning shifts. But I think the best remedy is leaving this place as soon as possible."

"I will change the schedules at once, and thank you."

"Your welcome, but I am just doing my job." she stood up. "Do you still have time tonight?"

"Of course, but only if you are not too tired."

She laughed "You sound like Solas." and said her goodbyes.

Cullen felt a sting when she mentioned Solas. As much as he was enjoying their small healing-sessions, it was hard on his emotions. The more time he spent with her, the more he was being trapped in his unrequited love for her, and he couldn't suppress the pang of jealousy he felt whenever she mentioned Solas. She had that glow in her eyes when she spoke of him. Cullen was being torn between his own feelings and seeing her happy. Shaking his head, he went back to work; there was still much to be done.

.

Everyone was relieved when finally after a week most of the sick and wounded were well enough to be transported. The journey back to Skyhold was slow, but Cullen had agreed with Eirlana that it would be best if they left the conditions of the Western Approach as quickly as possible. It took them another week to reach the camp the Inquisition had build on the outskirts of the desert.

Eirlana let out a sigh when she saw the first glimpses of green grass after the weeks she had spent in the desert, and she hoped she didn't have to go back for a long time. She looked forward to seeing Solas again and get some rest. The last couple of days she was feeling sluggish and tired, what wasn't surprising with the long hours she had worked caring for the sick and wounded. Dismounting she walked to the camp's main tent, expecting to find Solas there.

"The Inquisitor hasn't returned yet?!" she heard Cullen cal out when she reached it.

"We were expecting him yesterday." the officer reported. "The last message we have received stated that they had concluded their mission in the Hissing Wastes and were returning."

Cullen frowned and traced the Inquisitor's route on the map; there could be a number of reasons why they were delayed. He weighed his options of sending out a search party when a scout entered the tent with a message. His frown only deepened when he read it.

Worried something happened Eirlana spoke up. "Is there any news?"

"It is as you already feared, the Inquisitor has fallen ill together with Sera and several others. They are asking for assistance." he handed her the note.

It was written by Solas, and she recognised the symptoms immediately. "I will prepare to go to them."

Cullen nodded, "I will see to it that you will have an escort."

Outside Eirlana grabbed her pack and started to collect fresh rations and herbs from storage. With no desire to travel again she hoisted her bags up the Dracolisk and secured them.

"So, we are off again." Dorian huffed. "You know all this sun gives me terrible tan lines." He noticed how tired she looked. "You know you don't have to go; there are other healers."

"It is the Inquisitor," she sighed, "and we need him..." she hesitated because sadly lay on the tip of her tongue.

Dorian lay his hand on her shoulder, guessing why she had fallen silent. "Well, at least you will have good company. Varric is also getting ready."  
She smiled at him. "Thank you."

"The Inquisitor better be thankful, that big oaf of a Qunari will think I came because I missed him."

Apart from them Garrick and a few soldiers also volunteered to escort her, within the hour they stood ready to accompany her. Casting the sun-protection spell, Solas thought her on herself she steered her mount back into the Western Approach.

.

Solas scanned the horizon looking for Eirlana and the others. A raven had sent word of their departure, and if his calculations were correct, they should reach him soon. He, Iron Bull and a couple of freed slaves from the Hissing Wastes had spent days looking after Ryan, Sera and the soldiers. What had started with one soldier fallen ill a week back soon had grown into a major problem. With their business finished in the Hissing Wastes and only two men ill they had started their journey out of the desert, but as the days went by more and more people became sick. They had barely made it to this small oasis that they were at now. He and Iron Bull did what they could, but Solas' knowledge at treating diseases was limited, and with their meagre resources there wasn't much they could do, especially for Ryan and Sera who were the illest at the moment.

It had been a strange couple of days looking after them, particular taking care of Ryan. After his decision at Adamant Solas wanted to scream at him, ask him if he enjoyed the worship he received. But Adamant had left even Ryan scarred; now he lay sick in his tent praying feverishly to the Maker, asking for forgiveness. He was accepting the disease that had crippled the Inquisition as divine punishment for abandoning the Divine, and he was vowing that he would fulfil his task to stop Corypheus.

Sera, on the other hand, was blaming the Fade and the demons for her predicament in very colourful descriptions. Solas was glad she got some of her fire back. Even when she pestered him often he felt sympathy for her, it was his fault after all she had lost so much of herself, and he had created the world that made her feel like being an elf was something undesirable.

Impatient Solas scanned the horizon again; he felt anxious. At the moment they didn't know what Corypheus was planning next, and they were stranded here. Corypheus absence at Adamant meant he was already moving to his next target and Solas had yet to find out what it was.

"Finally." he sighed when a group of riders was approaching fast, help had arrived.

"Vhenan." he helped Eirlana of her mount when they reached the camp.

She gave him a light kiss. "How are they?"

"Not getting any better. I wasn't able to do much for them."

"What about you?" she brushed his cheek and looked concerned at him.

He leaned into her touch. "It would help if we would leave here soon." he admitted to her. He couldn't deny that he also was affected by all that had happened. He felt more tired than usual, and his body still ached from the dragon they had fought in the Hissing Wastes.

"Let's hope the medicine I have brought works."

.

It took Ryan and the others several days to be well enough to move on. Glad they could finally leave again Eirlana waited with the mounts until the others were ready. She wasn't feeling well, and for a moment dizziness came over her, she leaned against her dracolisk to stable herself.

Solas noticed it and went to her. "Are you alright?"

"Yes!" she snapped irritated and regretted it the moment she saw his shocked face. "I am sorry, I am just tired."

He embraced her gently so she could lean against him. "Anything I can do for you?"

"Maybe a weeks worth of sleep, and no more vomiting people." her voice sounded muffled against his shoulder. "And less sun and clothes not full of sand, I could go on for a while." she joked.

They both laughed, but Solas could see she wasn't alright. She looked too pale, and he knew she had gotten little rest since the siege at Adamant over three weeks ago.

"Please tell me if I can help you somehow."

"You already do by being here."

He kissed her on the head and lifted her on the mount.

With everyone ready and eager to leave they set in a brisk pace. By travelling deep into the night and minimal rest they made good progress, soon the vegetation was getting greener, and not long after they spotted the Inquisition's encampment. Soldiers were already dismantling it so they could start their journey back to Skyhold.

Suddenly Eirlana halted her mount and jumped off, ran to the nearest bush and vomited. Solas immediately ran towards her to help her, handing her his waterskin when she was finished.

"Thank you." she said weakly. She had been feeling nauseated a couple of times now, but this was the first time she got sick. "I am afraid whatever is the cause of the illness has caught up with me."

She looked pale, and Solas was worried. "Come let's take you to the healers." he placed her back on her mount and escorted her. As they suspected, she had contracted the disease. With no cure available rest was the best remedy, but with most of the soldiers feeling better the army couldn't delay their departure any longer. Solas wasn't happy; he found it cruel that the person who had helped so many was forced to travel even if she wasn't well. As the days went by he could see she was struggling, even though she took the medicine, it helped her only a little, and she had to vomit several times a day. Whenever they rested, he needed to persuade her to eat, before she fell asleep. Wishing he could do more for her, he went to Dorian to ask him a favour.

.

When Skyhold finally came to view Eirlana let out a sigh of relief, she was exhausted and never had thought she would look forward to sleep in a real bed this much. It didn't help that too many people were fussing over her and asked her after her well-being, it made her uncomfortable and irritable. All that she wanted was to sleep and spending some time alone, but people had a hard time to understand that, especially Solas. She already snapped at him a couple of times, only to feel guilty afterwards.

Everyone in Skyhold was excited that the Inquisitor and the troops had returned safely, especially because they made it in time to celebrate Wintersend. Eirlana had a difficult time to make her way through the crowd of welcoming people; it made her feel dizzy and trapped. She looked around for Solas, but he had disappeared. She suspected he was already in the rotunda to check on the events that had happened while they were away. Out of breath, she reached their quarters, and with a groan she opened the door, hoping to get some rest finally.

"Welcome home Miss." Rosie greeted her. "I have already prepared everything. Please get well soon." and left.

For a moment Eirlana could only stare, not believing what she saw. The room was cosy warm by the fire lit in the fireplace, and a tray with food stood ready. Solas was waving his hand above a bathtub that had been placed in the room, warming the water with his magic.

"Come, vhenan." he took her bag from her so she could undress and get into the bath.

She sighed when she sank into the warm water, and Solas started to massage her head gently. Half asleep she mumbled. "Who did you bride to get a private bathtub?"

He smiled. "I could borrow this one from Dorian in exchange for some bottles of elven wine and a promise from Varric that Cullen would be in the public bath tonight."

She giggled. "You are joking."

Moving his hands to her neck and shoulders, her laughter turned into a moan when he kneaded her tense muscles. "I am afraid we will hear every detail of Dorian's sacrifice later." he pressed a kiss on her temple. "We are all worried about you."  
"Thank you, you are sweet." she murmured half dosing.

After feeding her some light foods from the tray, he ushered her into bed where she fell asleep almost immediately. Carefully he brushed a lock of hair behind her ear, hoping she would get well soon.

.

The candlelight on Solas' table flickered as the door to the rotunda opened. Solas looked up and saw two servants hurrying along with even more pine branches to decorate Skyhold. Ever since they had returned the whole fortress was in a state of excitement for the festivities of Wintersend. Every nook and cranny of Skyhold had been decorated with pine trees and branches, that were adorned with red ribbons, tiny bells and metal ornaments of the Maker and Andraste.

Solas could hear that the great hall was filling slowly with the Inquisitor's guests of honour, nobles and diplomats; apparently, the mass in the gardens had finished. Outside in the courtyard music started to play, making him grumble. With all this activity it was hard to concentrate on all the reports of newly discovered rifts, troop movements of the Venatori, magical readings and the secret messages of his agents. He needed to hurry, Ryan had decided to depart again tomorrow after the festivities had ended. They would head to the Emerald Graves this time to check on a group of refugees that had trouble with deserters from the civil war and red templars. Ryan hoped they would finally find some clues to discover the red templars base of operation.

The door opened again, and Solas groaned, putting down the report he was reading. He pinched the bridge of his nose wondering why he ever thought the rotunda was a great place for him to work.

"Solas?"

He immediately perked up when he heard Eirlana's voice. She had dressed up for the occasion and looked stunning. She wore a dark green woollen dress with an embroidered bodice, a moss green shawl lined with soft rabbit fur rested on her arms. Several strings, consisting of colourful beats and tiny metal plates, were looped around her waist, creating a shimmering sash. Someone had helped her with her hair; it had been partially braided with several ribbons woven through them, the rest of her hair hung loose in shiny waves.

He stared at her. "You look lovely."

Blushing she sat down on his lap. "Thank you." She leaned back and stole one of the cake's he had saved from dinner of his plate. Solas opened his mouth to object, but halted when he saw how she enjoyed its rich chocolate taste. He was relieved she gotten her appetite back and that her nausea had finally passed.

"You are developing a sweet tooth." he smirked and tried to take a bite from the cake in her hand.

Eirlana pulled it away just in time, taking another bite herself. "I think you are rubbing of one me." she laughed.

He tried to steal a bite again, but she evaded him and quickly finished the sweet without sharing it with him. Determined to get a taste Solas pulled her in for a kiss and hummed when he tasted the chocolate from her lips. She smiled and enjoyed his attention when they were interrupted by her growling stomach.

"Haven't you eaten yet?"

"I did eat." she held her stomach and blushed in embarrassment. "Apparently not enough. Luckily there will be food at the feast." She nuzzled herself against him relishing the moment of them being together.

Solas was still worried about her, although she was feeling better after resting a couple of days, it was still too short. She would accompany him, Ryan, Sera and Iron Bull tomorrow, despite his objections. With her being a talented mage and one of the few possessing healing abilities, the Inquisition was demanding too much of her and her health was suffering from the strain. With her going with them he was determined she would get enough rest on their journey.

.

Sitting up Eirlana pulled a small parcel from her pocket. "I have something for you."

Curious Solas took it and opened the ribbon. It contained a leather bookmark. It was elegantly engraved with an elvish design, although he didn't recognise its origin. It depicted a couple of grazing halla surrounded by swirling plants and trees.  
"It is beautiful." he traced the engravings with his fingers.

"Do you like it? I drew it myself. Josephine had it sent to a leather worker in Val Royeaux to have it made."

"Thank you." he smiled at her before pulling her in for another kiss. Slowly he deepened it, and he began to move his hands over her body. He longed to be with her, to be swept away by her, to forget the hundreds of things that demanded his attention.

Eirlana pushed him back. "Please don't. You know I have to go." she pecked him on the nose and freed herself from his arms. "I will see you later." she squeezed his hand.

"Have a good time." he smiled and watched her leave the Rotunda.

She had asked him if he would join her to the feast, but he had declined, stating he had to much work to do. In part, this was the truth; he had redoubled his effort to find Corypheus and his orb, he needed to get it back. The joyful atmosphere that surrounded him the last couple of days irked him; there was little to be joyful about. His orb was lost, and Ryan's actions and decisions steered the Inquisition ever further on a path of power and the Chantry's agenda. The saddest thing was that the world watched and cheered Ryan on. To many agreed with his opinions, his hostile attitude towards magic and his encouragement of corrupted organisations. At this very moment, the hall of Skyhold was full with people congratulating him.

Melancholic he traced the bookmark lying on the table. He should be happy for her; it was remarkable how she had learned to love and trust again. It was even more remarkable how she made him feel. In her presence he felt almost normal, for a moment he was not weighed down by millennia of secrets and responsibilities. He wondered again what she would do if she would discover who he was and what he had done. She already was suspecting him of being more than a simple apostate, but she never pried. He felt ashamed by the trust she put in him, and that she was willing to wait patiently for him to tell her on his own terms. She had no idea how special it was to him to be loved without fearing she had alternative motives. How many partners in his past had claimed to love him but were only trying to better themselves. They had been after his power, his wealth, his status. How many had lied to him, tried to steal his secrets, wanted to use him for their own agenda's? He sighed, now he was the one that was lying.

The cheers and music from outside were getting louder, with pain in his heart Solas stood up, maybe he could take a small peak at the feast, showing her that he cared.

.

Eirlana manoeuvred herself to the Herald's rest. Maid's were walking around with trays of beer and other drinks between the tables that had been put outside. A stage had been build in front of the smith were a band was playing an upbeat tune with several drums, flutes, violins and other instruments. Many people were dancing to the music on the upper courtyard. She spotted Sera and Dagna sitting on the roof of the tavern, having their own private fun by occasionally throwing candid apples and other sweets at people. Varric waved at her to join them at the table he was sharing with Blackwall, Iron Bull, Dorian, Cassandra and Cullen.

"Is Chuckles not coming?" Varric asked as he pulled back a chair for her.

She shook her head and sat down. She was concerned about Solas; he had even become more withdrawn since Adamant. She could understand he kept his distance from Ryan and Vivienne, and even in some part from Sera, but not towards the others. He was talking less with everyone and spent his time secluded. It was bothering her; it shouldn't be like this after the months they had spent together.

Even towards her, she noticed a distance, not that he wasn't attentive and caring. Thanks to him she was feeling better again, but his mind seemed to be continuously occupied. Too often she saw him with a distant sorrowful and lonely look in his eyes; she had tried to ask him what was bothering him, but he was very evasive. At first, she thought it was connected to the things he saw in the nightmare, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something else was amiss.

Whatever it was it even occupied him in his sleep, it had been weeks since they shared a dream and she missed those wonderful intimate moments with him exploring the Fade, observing the past, talking and listening to the spirits, uncovering stories no one remembered. The time spent in Fade was special to her and one she couldn't share with anyone else.

"Will you dance with me?" Cullen stood next to her, thinking about Solas she hadn't followed the conversation at the table and now everyone was looking at her with a smirk on their faces.

"What?"

Cullen was getting even redder from embarrassment. "Will you dance with me?"

"I don't know this dance."

"Oh come on Snowflake, it isn't difficult." Varric pushed her, and she took Cullen's offered hand.

Cullen couldn't believe they all had talked him into this, even before Eirlana had joined them they had persuaded him, and he had taken the bait they had laid out.

"I really don't know this dance, Cullen." Eirlana flustered as she followed him to the dancing crowd.

"Don't worry it is simple." he smiled at her trying to ensure her.

They stayed at the edge of the crowd and Cullen had been right it was a fun, simple dance and everyone was doing their own version of it. Soon they were both smiling and moving on the upbeat melody. Suddenly Cullen's smile vanished, and Eirlana turned to look what he saw. Solas stood on the stairs leading to the great hall watching them, his brows were drawn together, and the look in his eyes was venomous. When she caught his eyes, he turned abruptly around and went back inside.

She halted. What was wrong with him?

"Don't worry about it." Cullen pulled her a little to the side so they wouldn't be in the way of other dancers.

"But..."

"He is angry at me, not at you."

"You have seen him like this before?"

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck; he could tell she was not pleased. "Yes, a few times." he confessed.

"I will be back." she left him behind.

He shook his head, hoping he hadn't made a mistake in telling her.

.

Eirlana stormed inside the rotunda. Solas stood there straight as an arrow, staring at his murals, his hands clasped behind his back. He barely looked back at her when she entered.

"Solas what is wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong."

She knew he was not telling the truth. "Don't lie to me. Are you mad at Cullen?"

He took a deep breath; he needed to calm down, he had no right to be angry. "No." he lied again. "You should return to the feast."

She was getting even more frustrated that he didn't give her an explanation, but she was also seeing he was struggling with something. Her worry returned, and she gently touched his arm. "Come, join us." she offered him. "Take your mind off for a while."

Solas crunched his eyes shut; she didn't know what she asked of him. How could he take his mind off his purpose? How could he celebrate a world that was wrong, that he would destroy? How could he form even deeper friendships with people he would hurt in the end?

Eirlana saw his painful expression again as if a heavy burden was crushing him. "What is wrong? This can't be just about Corypheus or the Inquisition." she took hold of his hands. "You can talk to me."

His layer of half-truths and masks shattered. He knew he should lie, that he should use his excuses of work, difficult reports or the pressure of the Inquisition, but he couldn't. They all sounded shallow.

"I can't." he uttered with difficulty, his voice broken. He knew it wasn't the answer she wanted to hear, the look on her face told him he had hurt her.

She looked angry at the history books that lay open on his table. "Why can't you talk to me? What is so important that you can't spare one evening? You know that what has past will be just the same tomorrow."

"You should leave."

Something broke within her and her eyes teared up before her expression turned to anger. "Fine!" she shoved him and walked away, leaving him alone.

.

With a foul mood, Eirlana returned to the feast. She loved Solas, and she thought they had become so close to each other, but now he felt so distant. A darkness was growing inside him that she couldn't understand. What hurt her the most was that he still didn't trust her, that he still felt it was necessary to keep things from her.

She sat down at a more quieter corner of the festivities, angrily wiping her eyes in an attempt not to cry. Varric sat next to her a short while later. They sat quietly together for a while.

"I don't understand him sometimes." Eirlana huffed frustrated.

"Do you love him?"

"With all my heart."

"That is the most important part. Give it a little rest and talk to him again when you both have cooled down. You don't want to know the love spats Isabella gets in. Not to mention the fights Hawke and Anders used to have, especially to the end."

"I just don't understand. Why would he get so angry and dismissive?" she turned towards him, hoping he would know some answers.

"Well, I would be jealous too if Bianca would dance happily with our Commander. You two looked lovely together. I would never admit it, but I would get angry." he saw at her face she didn't know what effect she had on Cullen or other people. He felt sorry for her. She in part resembled Fenris who also had difficulty in understanding how normal people interacted with each other. Feeling guilty for his part in teasing Cullen to dance with her he continued. "Solas is a very private person, and you were very shy and reserved in the beginning. You two found each other in all this shit that has been happening. You two fell in love, and that is something beautiful. But you two got together when you were still discovering yourself, and you still do. Snowflake you have changed dramatically from the scared, shy elf I met back in Haven. You have burst open and are exploring the world, making friends, enjoying life."

"But he can also make friends."

Varric saw she didn't understand him; she really reminded him of Fenris. He had to spell it out for her. "Snowflake, he is scared of losing you. You are sweet, kind, beautiful and many people like you. It makes him nervous to see you with other men because he is afraid you will fall in love with them."

Eirlana thought about what he said, it sounded plausible, but she knew there was more to it than that. "Maybe you are right." she sighed, planning to talk with Solas again. Her stomach growled for the second time, and she held it in embarrassment.

Varric laughed and pushed a bowl of fried vegetables and some bread with cheese in front of her. "Before you go talk to him eat something. In my experience, hungry women are grumpy women."  
.

Solas slammed his fist on the table in their shared bedroom. He still could feel the door slamming shut behind Eirlana as she left the rotunda. It was like it had slammed right into his heart. She had every right to be angry with him, and he was mad at himself that he let it come to this, nothing of what was happening should ever have happened, this world, the Breach, the Inquisition, him being here. Why of all the times had he found love now? How had things got so complicated?

Seeing her dance with Cullen reminded him of all the things he couldn't give her. He couldn't give her a steady life, a real family, a future together. His path was set, and only death and destruction awaited him. He was angry with himself that he had let it come to this and that she would suffer because of his weakness. Maybe he should step back; perhaps he should let her find love with someone else, someone like Cullen. A shudder went through him, and he felt sick from his own thoughts.

What stung him, even more, she was right he couldn't change the past, it didn't matter what he would do countless lives were forever lost, as was Elvhenan. He could only work on a better future for the People, and that meant he had to destroy another world in the process. With the weakening Veil, there was not much choice, either way, things would revert to what once was, and his only hope was that he would find the means to guide and influence the process.

He sighed the more he thought about what he must do, the more he knew he would lose her. She was flourishing, living in the here and now. She had learned to walk her own path and to enjoy her life. It broke his heart that he had to crush it all the same. He knew he was being selfish and that he needed to end things, but he couldn't bear the thought of losing her. He knew he needed to, in the end, he had a task to finish that he started millennia ago. Even when Elvhenan would never return, he needed to create a new future; he owed this to the People. He had to prepare himself; soon he needed to leave Solas behind him and become something else, Fen'Harel needed to return.

.

The feast went on, people were together, laughing, dancing, getting drunk. No longer in the mood for the feast Eirlana watched them, she wanted to retreat to her room but feared Solas would be there. She was not yet ready to face him. Varric kept her company telling one of his stories about Hawke and their dealings with a certain Orlesian Duke, making her laugh several times.

Slowly the music and the people were getting louder, and Eirlana had a hard time concentrating on Varric's story. "Varric, I am sorry, but I think I am going to bed." she stood up feeling slightly nauseous.  
"You're okay? You don't look so good."

"I think the crowd is getting to me. You have to tell the rest of the story when I am back."

"Always, safe travels, but I hope I will see you off tomorrow."

"I would like that." she smiled at him. "And thank you Varric."

"Anytime Snowflake, anytime."

Walking back she dreaded to confront Solas, it was the first time she was angry with him, and it made her unsure how to react to him. As she predicted Solas sat at his small worktable in their room, seeing him ignited her anger anew and she walked inside ignoring him. She started to undo her braids and heard him move behind her. Knowing she couldn't evade their talk any longer, she turned abruptly towards him. A wave of dizziness hit her, and she staggered. Solas grabbed her, holding her until it passed.

"Vhenan?"

Solas eyes were full of concern. Why was he looking at her like that? Why was he suddenly caring when he had dismissed her earlier? Why was she feeling relieved? Why was her anger wavering? Tears sprang in her eyes as her emotions overwhelmed her.

"Vhenan, what is wrong?" he panicked as Eirlana started to cry and took her into his arms. Gently he stroked her head. "I am sorry about earlier, how I acted was unworthy of me. Please forgive me."

"I don't understand. Why won't you tell me what is bothering you? Why do you think you have to be alone?"

Closing his eyes, he held her. He knew she wanted more from him and he wished he could give her all the answers she sought. "I know you want answers from me, but I can't give them to you now." He hugged her more tightly before he looked at her. "I know I ask a lot from you, but please wait for me. I... I need more time. I promise I will tell you." He whispered to her. "Please wait for me."

His eyes were silently pleading with her, and she saw he was struggling; her anger vaporised into nothing, she couldn't, didn't want to deny his request, but she wished he didn't feel the need for secrecy. She wanted to be there for him; she wanted to be somebody he could trust and rely on.

"You promise."

"You have my word." he held her in his arms again. "I will apologise to Cullen tomorrow morning."

Relief went through him when she finally hugged him back. He felt unworthy of her love and trust in him.

 _"_ _Ar lath ma, do never doubt that."_

.

Solas awoke early in the morning, carefully he stood up and casts a light sleeping spell and a bubble of silence around Eirlana. Satisfied she wouldn't wake he proceeded in packing their bags, he wanted to give her as much rest as he could. A few hours later he woke her.

"Vhenan."

Eirlana stirred wrapping the blankets closer around her.

Solas smiled and called her again. "You have to get up; we will leave soon."

"What?" she sleepy opened her eyes.

"I have finished everything. I have laid out your travel clothes, and breakfast is on the table. Everything is packed; you just have to get yourself ready." he gave her a short kiss. "I go and prepare the mounts." and left carrying their packs.  
Blinking her eyes a few times she got out of bed she saw everything lying ready for her. She took the steamy cup of tea of the breakfast tray and had to smile as, among the fruit, jam and fresh bread lay one of the small chocolate cake's she stole yesterday from Solas

Solas' determination to let her rest continued during the trip. He was always busy doing things for her, be it changing the water from her waterskin to setting up their tent for the night. He even had apologised to Cullen before they left and made some effort to engage in conversation with the others, although the tension would always exist between him and Ryan.

Eirlana was happy seeing him talk with the others and as their journey progressed into the Emerald Graves, she was physically getting better by the day. The fresh air and soothing atmosphere of the woods did wonders for her mood, and she was feeling better than ever.

.

The Emerald Graves had been spared the harsh, destructive power of the civil war, probably because the region wasn't densely populated and mainly used by a few nobles who had build their summer-estates out here, to escape the bustle of Val Royeaux and hunt the abundant wildlife.

The forest was beautiful with big old trees and thick beds of moss and soft grass covering the rolling landscape for endless miles. Eirlana could feel that these forests had once been important to the elves, many ruins of their buildings dotted the landscape.

"My people built a life here... it must have been something to see." Solas said next to her, and she agreed.

She couldn't wait to fall asleep here and explore them in the Fade. "The Veil is thin here can you feel it?"

He smiled at her and took her hand; he pressed it against his lips, his eyes were sparkling.

Sadly there wasn't much time to explore the elven ruins more closely as Ryan wanted to deal with the deserters and red templars as quickly as possible. Luckily it was a fairly easy task, and after a few days, only one of the deserters' hideout was left to clear out.

They had set up camp, and after spending some time at the campfire, everyone retired for the night. Solas was already asleep when Eirlana slipped into the Fade. Once again Solas was nowhere to be found, and she wandered through the forest alone. She was glad that the Fade was peaceful, even when this region had seen its fair share of battle. Memories of elves and humans mingled together even when they had lived here centuries apart. It was comforting to see that even when the waking world insisted there was a difference between humans and elves, here in the Fade, it didn't matter. They all encountered the same issues in life, and the spirits remembered them. Eirlana had walked for a while when she came upon a beautiful grove fed by a small waterfall, several memories where gathered here; they were happy memories. Lovers met in secret whispering sweet words; first kisses were shared and soft touches, children played in the shallow waters watched by mothers and maids sitting at the bank. She noticed the spirit living here float between the memories it had collected; it was a spirit of love, love for another, love for a child. It had gathered all the fond memories that had happened here. When the spirit noticed her it came towards her and got more excited the closer it came. Eirlana at first didn't know what it wanted when she suddenly felt another presence in the Fade; she was not alone.

.

With a startle Eirlana woke up, it was very early in the morning. Solas was lying next to her, still deep asleep. Carefully she freed herself from his arms, grabbed her shawl and slipped out of the tent. The guards of the last shift greeted her, as she walked out of the elven ruins they had set camp in. There was a big wolf statue just outside of their camp, and she walked towards it. Her feet were getting wet from the morning dew hanging in heavy drops on the grass and moss covering the ground. A couple of deer and august rams were grazing peacefully in the morning mist, a few looked up at her but didn't seem to mind her presence.

She sat down against the statue and leaned back looking at the green foliage above her were the first rays of the sun shimmered through. Unconsciously she brushed her hand over her belly, noticing her action she huffed a laugh. Nervously she let her hands hover over her tummy and let her magic flow. And there it was, clear as day, a new life growing rapidly. Eirlana giggled in her nervousness and tears sprang into her eyes, she was pregnant.

Now her tiredness and periods of nausea made more sense, it hadn't occurred to her she could be pregnant she had taken precautions after Solas and her became intimate, and she hadn't noticed she had skipped her period. She had never been regular after her years of abuse and malnourishment, and the constant stress of conflict, combat and her long working hours didn't help either. Pregnant, she let her magic flow again she was really pregnant. She beamed with happiness, Solas and her were getting a baby, a child.

Solas... she felt a little nervous, he had been very clear he didn't want a child at the moment and saving the world had been their priority until now. How would he react? Her hand reached out to her necklace; there was a tiny voice of doubt in her mind. No, she was sure he would be happy.

Suddenly she was startled by a flock of up flying birds, the august rams and deer shifted and ran away. The forest around her grew silent, and Eirlana got the feeling someone was watching her. Feeling uneasy she quickly went back. As soon as she walked into the camp the feeling left her; everyone was up and getting ready. A report had come in about a pocket of red templars they had missed, and Iron Bull was excited that a dragon had been spotted not too far away. Ryan already mapped out their route of the day, and Eirlana quickly slipped into the tent to dress. Before she got the chance to get Solas alone to talk they left to take care of the last of the deserters and red templars.

.

Sera jumped off a boulder onto Iron Bull's shoulder and shrieked in glee when he threw her of him further into the water with a loud splash. His deep laughter rumbled through the small grove they were bathing in. It had been a long warm day tracking through the woods, and all of them were relieved when they returned to their camp. Eirlana washed herself a little to the side; she was still wearing her shirt, not feeling comfortable to be seen naked by the others. Floating in the water, she waited for Solas to join them. It was the same grove she had seen in the Fade, and she wondered if the spirit was observing them. Thinking back at the couples she had seen in her dream she wondered if they also been as nervous as she was, waiting anxiously for the right moment to tell their loved ones something important. Her hand trailed to her stomach. She felt nervous and excited, she had never pictured herself as a mother, but she hadn't pictured herself being free either. It was strange, in the past, she had been forced to kill two of her unborn children. It had been difficult, but she rather had them die peacefully than have them born into despair, cruelty and death, for she had no doubt they wouldn't have survived.

But things were different now; she was free, she was safe and with the man she loved. Still, there was doubt, would he even want a family? What were his plans after the Inquisition had finished its mission and they defeated Corypheus? She had never given her life after the Inquisition much thought; she had never had to make plans for the future, this was still new to her. What would Solas do? Would he take up his life of wandering again, and was he planning to travel with her? It troubled her he was still keeping secrets from her, and she didn't want to pry so soon after their fight. Also, what would the others do after the Inquisition? Would they return to the life they had before? She had no life to return to; this was her life, her only life she ever really had. She knew she couldn't wander around following Solas to ancient ruins with a child. Where would she live? Where would they live? What would her future be like?

Finally, Solas came to the grove and stripped out of his clothes. To her relief the others made their way out of the water, they would be alone.

She heard Sera say "Slowpoke." to him before she slipped into her shirt and skipped towards the tents.

Wading into the water, Solas swam a few strokes and started to wash his face and head, again he seemed deep in thought. Eirlana called out to him, but he didn't react. Carefully she moved closer to him with a smirk on her face.

Solas washed himself not paying any attention to his surroundings. He had found another note in the last camp of the rebels with a Venatori's seal; it asked to capture and hold any elves that were accompanying the Inquisitor. It figured that both groups would also be collaborating after their agreement with the red templars. Apparently, they hadn't given up on capturing him and judging by Corypheus losses he must be getting desperate.

He was just glad that the note hadn't been spread around like the other numerous notes warning everyone about the Inquisitor. In part, he had been in luck, for Ryan had lost interest in the notes after finding the same message over and over again. Still, he had to be careful; he had no doubt Ryan would react suspiciously if he would found out that Corypheus was interested in him.

Suddenly he yelped when a thin film of ice formed on his underwear, abruptly he turned around to Eirlana who laughed and splashed through the water trying to get away from him.

Solas ran after her, and caught her quickly, grabbing her arms while she tried to get away. They both laughed and squealed. With one hand he pinned her hands behind her back, and with his free hand, he teased her under her ribcage, knowing she was ticklish there. She shrieked and squirmed in his grasp. His heart was hammering; he was thrilled she was finally feeling better after he had forced rest upon her, now she was so lively again, almost glowing in her beauty.

"Solas." she wheezed out of breath when his hand moved under her shirt gliding over her stomach, butterflies exploded within her, she needed to tell him. "Solas stop, we need to talk."

He let go of her, wondering what she wanted, but before she even could turn towards him, a halla jumped suddenly out of the bushes into the water running through it. Someone cursed in Tevene and two Venatori appeared. Both Solas and Eirlana immediately rained spells down on them, alerting the others in the camp. Iron Bull was the first to come to their aid, but with their cover blown the Venatori retreated swiftly into the forest. "Figures they would also be here." Ryan commented, "Come you two, no more bathing."

"Pah Venabory can't think of something else. Always crashing our good fun."

For once Solas agreed with her.

Back at camp Eirlana sat down by the fire, silently cursing the Venatori for interrupting her attempt to talk with Solas. Not having finished her bath, she finger-combed her wet hair.

"Why don't cut it?" Sera asked "Is it one of those elf things? Not practical at all. See I'm finished in no time." she shook her short cut hair that was almost dry already, to make her point.

Looking at her, Eirlana grinned. "I need to keep it long. I have to compensate for our other elfy elf."

Sera burst out in laughter at her remark.

Encircling Eirlana with his arms, Solas pulled her against him. He grazed her ear with his teeth. "You are full of mischief today." he murmured.

She turned towards him with a glint in her eye. "Do you have any complains?" she challenged him.

"Yes." he kissed her. "We are not alone."

"Ah, get a room you two!" Sera yelled.

"Oh, I think we will." Solas chuckled deeply, picked Eirlana up and carried her to their tent.

"Solas!" she shrieked and blushed fiercely, trying to get out of his arms.

Iron Bull laughed, and Sera rolled her eyes when they both disappeared into their tent.

.

In their tent, Solas put her down and climbed on top of Eirlana. "So what shall I do with you?" He held her arms while she tried to wriggle herself free, wondering how he should repay her for her actions. His fingers wandered to her ticklish spot again.

Suddenly a force of magic pushed him to the side, and he was forced on his back. Trapped by her magic, he stared at her when she climbed in turn on top of him. He was in awe at her control of her forcefield magic that pinned him down and his blood heated up at how she dominated him.

Who was this alluring creature, that looked with so much love and devotion at him?

Straddling him, Eirlana turned her fingers cold and teasingly glided them over Solas' cheek and lower lip before kissing him. He inhaled sharply from her freezing touch, only to be overwhelmed by her hot lips. Her freezing fingers kept wandering along his jaw down his neck, creating a trail of goosebumps on his skin. His stomach fluttered in anticipation of every move, of every tease she made. Now he had missed this, their intimacy, the last couple of weeks she had been so tired and he too occupied. He wanted to chase every touch she gave him, but couldn't because her magic trapped him. She stopped kissing him, and Solas stretched his neck in an attempt to capture her lips again, but she pulled back smiling at him.

"Vhenan." he groaned, his body strung by the anticipation and his need, it became overwhelming. When her fingers had wandered to his sensitive ears, he no longer could wait and trusted his hips up.

Eirlana was fascinated by his reactions and by the expressions on his face, making her tease him more and more. When he trusted his hips up, she gasped, her body begging her to continue, but she knew she couldn't wait any longer. "Solas we need to talk." she released her hold on him and sat back.

Taken aback by the sudden change he sat up. "What is the matter?"

Letting out a deep sigh she looked him in the eyes. "I am pregnant."

* * *

Love to Sera and Dagna and BEEEEEEEES!


	21. Chapter 21

Hey,

Are you guys as excited as I am that we finally get a sliver of the next Dragon Age game? And yes I have questions!

Anyways I am at home on sick leave and so I could spend some time writing and I couldn't let you wait for too long ;) It is time some secrets are unveiled.

Enjoy! Love you guys!

* * *

 **Chapter 21**

From outside the tent, the laughter of Sera could be heard over the crackling of the fire. Inside there was a dead silence as Solas stared at Eirlana in shock. His mind tried to digest what she just told him. Pregnant, no she couldn't be, this couldn't happen.

"Can you feel it?" she looked lovingly at him with a hopeful smile on her lips.

Still, in shock, he moved his hands automatically. Carefully he placed them on her belly and let his magic flow. There it was, he could feel it, a small presence, a new life.

His eyes went big, staring at her he gasped. "You are...?"

"Yes."

He pressed his hand firmer against her. "How? When?"

Thrill, confusion and dread filled him as he felt the tiny heartbeat pulsating against his magic.

Worried by his reaction, Eirlana got anxious. "I think after Adamant..." she fell silent unsure what to make of his response.

Solas mind raced, they had been careful ever since they had become intimate, he had always made sure she drank the tea. He... "After the siege." he whispered.

"I think so." Eirlana replied nervously; he wasn't reacting like she hoped. Saddened she cast her eyes down and wrapped her arms protectively over her stomach.

"How long have you known?"

"I felt her presence last night in the Fade."

"Her?"

"I don't know. It feels like a girl. I can't explain it."

"So your illness?"

"Morning sickness."

Falling silent again he tried to apprehend what this meant; she was really pregnant. He was becoming a father, and that thought filled him both with panic and pride, the latter more than he would have ever imagined.

"I am sorry. I know you didn't want..." she was close to tears.

He took her in his arms and held her tightly. "Vhenan, I am sorry. I am a little overwhelmed." he kissed her temple and smiled at her. "Thank you."

With Solas finally smiling at her Eirlana relaxed a little. "For what?"

A flood of different emotions went through him. Ever since she had entered his life, she had shaken him countless times. With every step, she had made him question the things he thought he knew about this world. She had shown him there was still beauty, wonder, hope and love to be found, and now she had given him the greatest gift, the gift of a new life. For once he hadn't destroyed but created something, something precious and beautiful. He pressed his forehead against her temple. "For everything. I never dared to dream, to hope. You are a wonder I never thought would be possible."

If he believed in the existence of gods, he would thank them at this moment.

The tears Eirlana held back fell from her eyes. "So you are happy?"

"Vhenan, ma 'lath. Of course, I am happy. Ma vhenan." He kissed her tears away and held her. "Ar lath ma."

.

The camp began their morning preparations and woke up Solas. He propped himself up on his elbow and watched Eirlana, who was asleep next to him. Slowly he reached out to her and ran his hand along her bare arm. A smile ghosted across her face, but she didn't open her eyes. He still couldn't believe she was pregnant, that he was to become a father.

Back in his days fathering a child was always planned, decades could pass to find the right partner and the right moment to make such a commitment. He had always been too preoccupied even to consider to start a family.

Now he lay next to the person that was offering him this miracle. Gently he moved his hand to her tummy and let it rest there, his magic carefully sensing tiny presence growing there. He was in awe; he had helped to create a new life, something he never thought he would do or wanted. Now he couldn't imagine anything more beautiful or more special than the gift she had given him.  
He needed to make arrangements immediately; he needed to prepare a place where she would be kept safe and cared for. Being pregnant with his child would make her, even more, a target for those who opposed him. He needed to change things, and even if he couldn't change the bloody path that lay before him, he could change this. He could forge a place where his family could live and be safe.

He also needed to tell her the truth; he couldn't lie to her any longer, he needed to bring her somewhere alone and finally tell her everything.

Eirlana stirred and tangled her fingers between his. "Morning." she murmured sleepily.

"Good morning."

She stretched herself, and he saw the opportunity to slip his hand under her shirt. With reverence and wonder, he stroked his thumb over her bare skin, indulging himself at feeling her still flat stomach. Soon she would begin to show, and he couldn't even imagine how beautiful she would look then.

She was his light in this dark world, and he vowed he would permit himself to feel this happiness. For once he was filled with hope that things would change for the better, that there was hope for a brighter future.

.

A small group of ten soldiers gathered to accompany them. Ryan had decided to check on Taven and his fellow Dalish. They were excavating some elven ruins, called Din'an Hanin, not to far away and Ryan was curious at their progress. Also, he wanted to check on the men he had sent to assist them, they had failed to report back, and he hoped that meant they had succeeded in finding a way into the ruins. He decided to bring the extra manpower just in case more was needed. If all went well, they would go back to Skyhold the next day.  
With everyone ready to go Eirlana reached for her bag, but Solas was faster and shouldered it.

"You shouldn't lift anything heavy."

She put her hand on her hip at his gesture. "Solas I am pregnant, not made from glass."

"You shouldn't even leave the camp."

"We already talked about this."

Solas wasn't happy she wanted to go. Anything could happen, what if they ended up in a fight? What if she got hurt? What if she fell?

Seeing him looking so worried she cupped his face. "It will be alright, and I won't sit still and be surrounded by cushions for the coming eight months. This is our last day here and if you want you can confine me at Skyhold when we get back. Don't worry, we have dealt with all the threads in these parts, and I promise I will stay back if we encounter anything. Besides" she pecked him on his nose. "I have you to protect me."

.

They set out through the forest. Solas was extra vigilant on the way, offering his hand to Eirlana whenever they needed to climb upon the moss-covered rocks. Stifling a laugh, she accepted his help and wondered how he would act when she was further in her pregnancy. She knew that his care and caution would be suffocating, and she didn't look forward to the fights they were bound to have.  
After a steep walk, they reached the ruins, but nobody was expecting what they found. The Dalish lay brutally murdered in front of the open doors leading to the ruins, their bodies cut and burned beyond recognition.

"Who did this?" exclaimed Ryan, horrified by the sight.

Weapons drawn they carefully got closer and Eirlana true to her word stayed back.

Iron Bull knelled by one of the corpses. "The blood is already dried up; this happened a few hours ago."

Suddenly everyone startled as one of the elven bodies started to cough. Eirlana immediately went to the elf, who was bound against one of the Dalish aravel's wheels. He had been beaten and had several burns and cuts over his body; he had been tortured. She unpacked her healing supplies and tried to help him.

"Many footsteps are leading into the ruins." Iron Bull noticed. "Whoever did this is inside."

"Bull, Sera and Solas you are with me." Ryan ordered. "Eirlana you help the elf, maybe he has some answers to what happened, the rest stay here to secure this entrance."

They walked through the underground entrance until they came up in the open again in the main building of the ruins. Here they found the rest of the elves and the Inquisition's soldiers, they all had suffered the same gruesome end, cut down and burned by magic.

The culprits were quickly found, a large group of Venatori had spread out through the whole complex. Solas was glad Eirlana hadn't joined them, for the Venatori were accompanied by several red templar behemoths. These giant monstrous creatures were once a man that had been entirely consumed by red lyrium. It was hard to believe that these deformed mindless monsters had once been templars. Although they were bulky and slow, their attacks were brutal and forceful. Solas didn't even want to think what would happen if Eirlana would be hit by one. Iron Bull was, on the other hand, thrilled that he had something big to strike.

They soon discovered the Venatori were once again looking for an elven artefact that was hidden somewhere within these ruins. Ryan decided it would be better if they found it first, so they spent hours looking for the seals that would unlock the underground tomb. They had to fight the Venatori time and time again, and with every passing hour, Solas was getting more anxious to return to Eirlana.

When they took a short rest to eat something Iron Bull elbowed him.

"You are to tense after the good night you had." he grinned at him.

"A very special night." Sera laughed. "Almost called out elven glory."

"This is not a topic for discussion."

They both laughed even more.

"This is not a topic." Sera imitated him "Boring topic anyway; the elf always goes after the elf."

"That is not true I have had plenty of elves." Iron Bull took a bite from his bread.

"What? How does that even fit?"

"Oh, it fits. Though they sometimes walk funny the next day."

"I'll bet. Need some creative stretching for that one." Sera sniggered.

Solas groaned inwardly, hoping they would soon move on.

.

Evening was already approaching when they exited the ruins, and Solas hoped that Eirlana and the troops had decided to return to the camp without them because he didn't look forward to walking through the woods in the dark with her in her condition.

"Maker!" Ryan exclaimed.

At the entrance of the ruins, a catastrophe awaited them.

Dead bodies of the Inquisition's soldiers and Venatori lay everywhere. Solas rushed past Ryan and began frantically to search for Eirlana, but there was no sign of her. All he found was her staff, lying abandoned on the ground.

What had happened?

Where was she?

With shaking hands, he picked up her staff and again looked around; both hoping and dreading he would see her among the dead bodies.

The others also spread out, trying to make sense of the situation.

"Shitballs, why? We killed all the buggers inside!" Sera knelt down and picked something up. She walked to Solas and held out Eirlana's wolf pendant, its leather cord snapped in two.

He took it and stared at it in his hand. They must have taken her.

Why did they take her?

His mind puzzled over the events that had happened, the attack outside of Skyhold, the notes he found, the attack at the Winter Palace. They didn't come for him; they came for her.

But why? What could they possibly want from her? Why had they gone to this length to capture her?

"She fought them with everything she had." Iron Bull said. "Most of the bodies have crush and ice wounds on them. They left on several horses, there is a trail heading to the west."

"Damn! And of course it is getting dark." Ryan mumbled. "Do you think we could follow them in the dark?"

Bull nodded and dropped the pack of treasures they had found in the ruins.

"Come let's make haste, with luck we will find them before sunrise."

.

Pain was the first thing Eirlana registered, her hands and head were throbbing.  
What had happened? Where was she?

Slowly she regained consciousness; she was slumped over a horse, gagged and her hands tightly bound. Her back stung and she felt dizzy as she tried to recollect what had happened.

She had been at the ruins, Solas and the others had been away for an hour, and she had managed to stabilise the wounded elf. The soldiers had gathered the bodies and were preparing a pyre. Suddenly arrows flew through the air, and several soldiers fell dead to the ground. Venatori jumped out from everywhere and attacked them. She had fought back with everything she had and tried to help the soldiers but being surrounded by so many, one by one they fell.

"Get her!" the Venatori leader had yelled, and someone tried to grab her from behind. Using her force-magic she managed to throw him off her, but he had gotten hold of her necklace, and it had snapped from her neck. She needed to get away; she needed to find the others. Impaling another fighter on a cone of ice she ran towards the entrance of the ruins when out of the shadows a blade suddenly slashed her in the back.

She screamed out in pain and fired more ice to protect herself but the nimble rogue dodged away. She turned to run further but the world had turned fuzzy, too late she realized she had been poisoned. Quickly she tried to neutralise it, but her magic felt strange and far away.

"Don't kill her! You idiot!"

Rough hands grabbed her, and her staff was pulled from her, a wet cloth was pressed against her face. She recognised the smell immediately magebane; they had poisoned her with magebane.  
"Make her breath it in."

A man stepped forward, and Eirlana panicked, they were going to punch her. Afraid they would harm her child she took a couple of deep breaths, poisoning herself even more.

The leader looked around, kicking one of the bodies of the fallen Venatori. "You haven't made this easy for us witch."

She trembled as they half dragged, half carried her away from the ruins. What were they going to do with her? She froze when the leader pulled a knife, but he only used it to cut off her belt with supplies. Without her magic she could only watch helplessly as they manhandled her, it was a feeling she wished she would never experience again. She hoped that at any moment Solas and the others would come out of the ruins to save her.

"Hold her hands. Who knows if we can hold her if this stuff has worked out."

"NO!" she yelled as they pushed her to the ground and the leader stomped on her hands with his iron boots. She screamed out in pain, and another wet cloth was pressed against her face, slowly she the world grew dark, and she lost her consciousness.

Remembering what had happened Eirlana tried to look around. They were still riding through the forest, but it was already getting dark which meant she had been unconscious for half a day. The forest opened into a clearing, and she could make out several fires spread out through a large old elven ruin. She could see several dug holes with a few broken chests next to them. They were digging here also for lost treasures.

A man stood up from one of the fires and walked up to them, he looked like a Venatori mage and was probably the leader of this group. "There you are. What happened? Where is the rest?"  
"Dead."

"I still can't believe how many she got from us." another one commented.

"What did you expect, she travels with the Inquisitor. If they were so easily defeated, we wouldn't be in this predicament. Let's hope you got the right one." the mage-leader lifted her face and studied her with cold eyes.

"That's her."

"You sure?"

Eirlana's heart jumped when she recognised a voice from her past. A hand grabbed her painful by the hair and pulled her face up. There he was, Ferrer, the only one that had escaped Solas' wrath all those months ago. His breath still smelled rotten as he hissed in her face. "Yes, there is no doubt about it."

He was shoved to the side by a Venatori, who lifted her from the horse. They carried her deeper into the ruins to one of the campfires and put her on the ground. She looked around; there were almost two dozen Venatori, too many for her to have any chance against them. The ruins they were excavating were ancient and had to be from the time of Elvhenan.

The mage-leader knelt before her and looked at her with interest. Eirlana glared at him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction that she was afraid. Afraid for her child, afraid what they would do to her. All she knew was that she was alone, wounded and surrounded by people that could harm her. Her wounds throbbed painfully with every beat of her heart and without magic, she was helpless and at their mercy.

"We heard interesting tales about you; we will find out if these things are true. Let's see if you can help us find here something before they come to pick you up." The mage-leader removed the gag from her mouth.

Not wanting just to sit still and do nothing Eirlana spat in his face. "Let me go!"

He wiped his face in disgust and slapped her hard across the cheek. "No manners. Too bad you will be picked up soon, or I would teach you a lesson. Hold her!"

She shuddered involuntarily when Ferrer grabbed her. "You have become spirited." He sniffed at her hair. "Maybe they let me have a go at you again when they are finished with you."

Eirlana felt revolted, but she had gotten more information. They wanted something from her, and this was just a temporary stop. She needed to stall for time and hope the others would get here soon. She also saw the disgusted look on the mage-leaders face as he looked at Ferrer. Good, Ferrer was also a nothing in this group.

"If I remember correctly you were the one who had problems getting it up." she snarled at him.

Several Venatori laughed at his expense and Ferrer pulled his knife. "You bitch, you will regret that."

He was quickly shoved to the side by a Venarori. "Get lost!"

Ferrer scurried away, but she could see in his eyes that he would try again.

Two Venatori grabbed her painfully, and the mage-leader pulled out a vial of lyrium.

"Let's see what you can do."

Someone grabbed her face, and the blue liquid was poured into her mouth. She tried not to swallow everything but with her nose hold shut she had no other choice. As the lyrium entered her body, she could immediately feel its effect. It burned away the residual magebane still in her system. It had been a long time since she was exposed to this much lyrium and she struggled to keep awake. The mage-leader took another vial, and he gave her even more. The world around her disappeared as she was thrown into the Fade.

.

With effort, Eirlana got her barrings, with the amount of lyrium they had fed her she had been thrown deep into the Fade. These idiots didn't know what they were doing to her; she could only hope they would leave her body alone for the time being. She needed to get out of this state; if what the mage-leader had said was correct, others would come to collect her. She needed to regain consciousness before that and try to escape. She could hide in the woods and wait until Solas and the others would catch up with her. She needed to burn the lyrium in her system as soon as possible, embracing the lyrium, she willed her mind even farther into the Fade in the hopes she would awake sooner.

The Fade around her turned grey and empty; it was filled with memories so ancient that they were all forgotten. She knew from experience it was here on could find very rare and almost fragmented spirits. They were almost disappearing but held on to a treasured memory. To her surprise she found such a spirit, it was old and nearly invisible, and she doubted she would have noticed it if she hadn't been drugged. Curious she touched it with her mind and dove into the feeble memory.

The Fade shifted around her again leading her to a time a palace stood here in all its splendour. She stood in a corridor, the walls were painted in a brilliant white, golden inlays of flowers and plants curled around the marble pillars and splendid mosaics covered the floors. This memory felt old, older than anything she had experienced in a very long time. An older elven woman walked through the corridor accompanied by a fair young elven girl in her teens. The older woman was dressed in elegant robes, and the girl was clad in a fine white robe that barely covered her body. They both were marked by a golden vallaslin of Falon'Din. The woman walked upright, but the girl had her eyes cast down and looked frightened.

 _"Why me?"_ the girl asked with a trembling voice.

 _"Hush girl. It is an honour that you have been chosen. It is the wish of Falon'Din."_

 _"May his splendour never diminish."_ they both said like they were reciting a mantra.

Slowly Eirlana followed them; she noticed the girl was getting more frightened as they walked into a magnificent garden. Flowers bloomed everywhere in meticulously kept beds, small fruit trees spread a pleasant aroma, and golden statues of elves and owls could be seen everywhere. They followed a path of white marble stones through the maze of blooming hedges and stopped as they arrived at a marble square. A fountain springing pure magical energy stood in the middle, and two elves were talking behind it. The older woman stood back, and the girl approached them, trembling she knelt down on her hands and knees.

With the girl not moving further Eirlana figured they had arrived at the heart of the memory. She stepped closer to the two men, one she could see clearly, the other one was obscured by the fountain. The one she could see was a tall elf with powerful facial features and rich bronze skin. His face was bare, and his long pitch black hair was secured by an elegant golden headband. He wore rich golden summer robes and several ornate golden jewellery pieces inlaid with gemstones. He had an air of confidence and arrogance around him.

 _"You know you should take better care of yourself. Andruil is furious at you for neglecting her. And look at yourself this is not you at all."_

 _"You don't have to concern yourself, Falon'Din."_

Eirlana froze, that voice, it couldn't be. She stepped closer and stared at the other elf. Solas' face looked back at her, but he looked younger. He had long dark brown dreaded hair that was pulled away from his face in a messy ponytail, the sides of his head were shaven, and his skin was darker, but it was Solas. His eyes looked brighter, not clouded by the sadness she so often saw in them. He wore a simple robe with a wolf pelt attached to his shoulders.

Solas, it couldn't be him and yet he stood before her. Why was he here in this memory and why was he talking to Falon'Din? Could this be an actual memory of one of the high elves of power?

 _"Come, old friend, I have a gift for you. I heard you have lost a pet of yours."_ Falon'Din snapped his fingers at the girl, who rose and slowly came closer. She was visibly shaking.

 _"Please Master."_ she pleaded with him. She shook physically and trembled even more whenever she glanced at Solas. She wasn't terrified of Falon'Din but of Solas.

 _"Here look at her she is young, beautiful and untouched. I especially have chosen her for you. This path you're on is not healthy; you should take more pleasures in life."_

 _"Please my lord. Don't send me away."_ the girl spoke again.

 _"Be silent."_ Falon'Din snarled and shoved her towards Solas.

He braced the girl so she wouldn't fall. Scared the girl stepped away from him quickly.

" _Taking women against their wishes is not my style."_ Solas glared at Falon'Din, his eyes burning with silent anger.

 _"Oh, believe me, she will soon be willing, and you deserve a small distraction."_

Solas shook his head.

 _"You have changed Solas."_

 _"Not as much as you have. Your lust for power and rulership has reached a new level."_ his tone was cold and menacing. Eirlana shuddered at the sheer power and confidence Solas emitted.  
Falon'Din laughed. _"And you would rather steal slaves than get them as a gift. Here take her, I don't need her any longer."_ He grabbed the girl by the hair and flung her to Solas' feet.

Solas knelt and helped the girl back to her feet. _"I have no need for slaves, and neither should you."_

Falon'Din glared at Solas. _"Do you even know what the others are calling you now? Fen'Harel. Do you have no shame?"_ he turned to the girl. _"Go! You are no longer needed here."_

The girl looked relieved and hastily left.

The memory started to fade away, Eirlana stepped towards Solas trying to grasp what she just had witnessed. Cupping Solas' fading face she whispered. _"Ma lath, is this really you? Are you Fen'Harel?"_

.

The Fade shifted around her, something had changed, and she felt a presence. She turned around guarded at what was with her in this part of the Fade. Falon'Din stared at her but unlike everything else he hadn't faded away. A chill ran through her as he peered at her with cold dark purple eyes, he looked like a predator having found his next meal.

A wave of power came from him, and she couldn't move, she was parallelised. Slowly Falon'Din began to circle her, studying her. Eirlana wanted to walk away, but she was trapped, whoever or whatever he was, he had tremendous power and was dangerous. One thing she knew he was neither a spirit nor a demon.

 _"So this is what has captured the lone wolf's heart."_ his hand stroked her cheek, it was ice cold and sent chills through her.

She needed to get away, concentrating she gathered her power, and with a shock-wave, she shattered the spell.

Stepping away she glared at him. _"Get away from me!"_

He chuckled and gave her a sly smile. _"Such a fighting spirit. It will be almost interesting to break you."_ With a gesture, golden tendrils appeared to ensnare her, but this time she was prepared. They erupted in blue flames burning away into nothing.

No one was going to break her.

Falon'Din laughed hard, staring at her with renewed interest. She needed to get away from him. Concentrating the Fade shifted around her. He only laughed harder. _"Run, little halla. Run. I will find you again."_

.

With a startle, Eirlana woke up, her heart hammering.

Was what she just saw the truth? Was that Solas? And why had Falon'Din been there?

A few men sitting at a fire laughed, reminding her she was still in danger. Pushing back her questions she focussed on her surroundings. It was still dark, and she lay on the ground next to a broken down wall in the middle of the ruins. Most Venatori had gone to sleep and only a couple sat next to a fire talking. They didn't seem to pay her any attention and she lay a little farther back from the fire. With luck she could sneak away without them noticing. Slowly she checked her bindings and shuddered when she found they had shackled her hands, the weight of the iron familiar around her wrists. Carefully she moved her feet and was relieved when they weren't bound.

A couple of guards came closer, and she stilled. Closing her eyes, she relaxed and evened her breath, hoping they wouldn't notice she was awake.

"Still out cold?" One of the men murmured and shoved her with his foot.

"Will be for a couple of hours more." the other commented, and they walked further.

Eirlana let out a sigh of relief; quickly she checked the condition of her wounds. Her back felt tense were the wound had crusted over, her hands were broken and painfully swollen; she had almost no movement in them, casting would be agonising and difficult. With a light healing spell she soothed her headache she had from the lyrium exposure and numbed the pain she felt. She couldn't do more, her other wounds needed to be cleaned first and she had to set the bones in her hand.

Carefully she looked around; there were no lights behind her, so chances where there were no Venatori in that direction. She needed to risk and slip away before the men arrived that would pick her up. It was still dark, and she could make use of the darkness to disappear into the woods.

With the guards far enough away she carefully rose to her feet and slipped over the wall to have more cover. Silently she moved through the dark as fast as she dared. Suddenly there were calls behind her; they had noticed her disappearance. Torches began to spread out over the ruins as the Venatori tried to find her. Eirlana ran, she needed to get clear of the ruins and make it into the forest where she would have more cover.

Running along a corridor she jumped over a fallen pillar, gritting her teeth when she felt the wound on her back rip open. Voices and torches were closing in on her; she needed to delay her pursuers. Not knowing what else to do she created several forcefields and ice traps behind her, making them as strong as she could and ran further. Shortly after she heard curses as the Venatori slammed into them in the dark. Relieved that it had worked her heart skipped when she could see the end of the ruins and the dark forest beyond them. If she could manage to reach it, she could easily lose them in the dark. With the Venatori falling behind she sped up, running as fast as she could, her heart pounding, her lungs panting for air.

A curse slipped from her lips when she saw lights approaching; there were people ahead of her. Not having much choice she ran through the archway right in front of a group of red templars. She threw a wave of force in front of her toppling the first of the templars. She groaned as her hands protested and broken bones pushed together.

What were they doing here?

Not slowing down she turned to the left into the forest.

"GET HER!" she heard someone shout behind her, not looking back she ran. Suddenly a wall of red lyrium shoot from the ground, and she slammed into it.

"Damn!" she yelled out in pain, they have a behemoth.

Hands grabbed her roughly, and another a blast of energy sent them flying away. They wouldn't get her without a fight. Dodging another templar, Eirlana noticed they hadn't drawn their weapons; they wanted to catch her alive. Two templars ran towards her; she yelled out in pain as ice shot out in front of her impaling both of them. Cursing her broken hands, she managed to slip out of the circle of red lyrium. Her legs protested when she started to run again; she needed to get out of here.

The giant fist of the behemoth came crashing down on her. She shrieked and dodged to the ground, but the tip of the massive fist hit her hard on the side of her skull. She flew a few feet through the air before she smacked against a tree and landed hard on the ground. There were yells, and torches came closer. Trying to get back up on her feet, she slumped to the ground again; she had no strength left. A pair of massive metal boots was the last thing she saw before darkness claimed her.

.

Solas and the others rushed through the forest as fast as they could, but it was hard to tell if they gained any ground on the Venatori. They had lost precious time when they almost lost the trail a couple of times. Finally, in the early morning, they found the ruins with the Venatori camp. Immediately they attacked, taking them by surprise. Solas kept an eye out for Eirlana, but he didn't see any sign of her.

Where was she?

The battle was hard fought, but they quickly won.

With the Venatori were dead and the camp destroyed. Ryan looked around at their work. "Let's find one that still breaths and question him."

Solas looked around he knew these ruins, but it wouldn't help him now.

Ryan found a man, Ferrer, who was only lightly wounded and dragged him to the others.

Solas thought he had seen him somewhere before but couldn't remember where.

"The elf, where have you taken her?" Ryan demanded.

"You have come too late." Ferrer groaned when Ryan pushed him on his knees. Spitting out some blood he continued. "Your little goldmine is long gone." he grinned foul at Solas. "Thank you for cleaning her up."

Now Solas recognised him from months back when he freed Eirlana, the one that had fled.

Not taking his eyes of Solas he continued. "You know she tasted as good as ever."

Solas paled. No, it couldn't be, they couldn't have assaulted her again.

"And her sweet moans were like a song."

Solas knew that Ferrer was baiting him and it worked. He felt sick; he had witnessed too many cruelties in his life that he knew all too well what they could have done to Eirlana. He almost could her hear screaming, calling out for him to help her and he hadn't been there to protect her. Searing anger burned within him, he had failed her. Seeing the smug look on Ferrer's face, he wanted to shut him up and wipe him out.

"What does he mean by a goldmine? What do they want with her." Confused Ryan looked at Solas.

An arrow flew through the air right into Ferrer's crotch; he screamed out in pain only to get another arrow lodged in his neck.

Startled Ryan yelled at Sera. "What did you do? I wasn't finished questioning him."

"You let that rat talk too much." Sera spit in Ferrer's direction, who was bleeding out slowly from his neck wound, she had missed his arteries on purpose.

"He could tell us more!"

"That guy didn't know shit."

"Boss, over here." Bull called to them.

Frustrated Ryan walked to Bull with Sera and Solas close behind him.

"Don't worry elfy, that rat hasn't touched her. If he had, she would have frozen his dick off. We will find her."

Solas never felt anything but pity or disdain for Sera, but at this moment he was grateful. "Thank you." he said.

"Rat got what he deserved."

Iron Bull led them outside of the ruins were he had found a couple of dead red templar, with injuries from magic. "It looks like she tried to escape. There are a couple of cart tracks going north." he pointed to several large red lyrium crystals. "Looks like this is one of their smuggle routes."

"Solas, you know something. Why would they be after Eirlana?" Ryan asked.

With Ferrer being here, it made now more sense to Solas why they had taken her, and he needed to find her quickly. "She is the same as me; she is an expert in travelling the Fade and communicating with spirits."

"What?"

"When I first met her the templar and the men that held her captive used her to find long forgotten treasures."

"She can do what?"

"Spirits are attracted to magic and strong emotions. She is able to determine with their help where old treasures lie. Corypheus is searching the elven ruins for old magic and treasures. This must be the reason why they have taken her. That man you were questioning escaped when I freed Eirlana, he must have given his information to Corypheus. We must find her! She is in grave danger."

"Why wasn't I told about this?"

"It was her choice. She has been abused for her given gift her whole life, so her caution is justified, and whatever our course has been, her ability wouldn't have helped us any further. She has done more than enough to help." "Who can blame her for keeping it a secret when this is what happens." Iron Bull pointed out. "And the red templars that have her now have an hours-long head start; this trail is from last night."

Ryan sighed. "Alright, Sera and Iron Bull determine which direction they are heading. Chances are they bringing her to their base of operation. Solas and I will look for any documentation. Then we will grab the horses and ride back; we need to send out ravens to inform our troops and spies. We can't chase them blindly; someone must have seen or heard something. If they are really bringing her to their base, we need more manpower to deal with them."

Solas wanted to drop everything and chase after the red templars, but he couldn't deny the logic of Ryan's plan. Reluctantly he began to search the Venatori's camp hoping to find any clue where they would take Eirlana. He needed to contact his agents as soon as possible to get help in the search.

"Don't worry Solas we get her back." Ryan grabbed one of his shoulders. "All of the Inquisition's people will look for her."

"Thank you Inquisitor." he replied and for once he wasn't put back by Ryan.

.

Eirlana slowly woke up, her head hammered in pain where she had been hit. She felt sick, miserable, cold and her connection to the Fade was weak. What had they done to her? She was lying on a rough wooden surface, and when she tried to move, she noticed her hands were still shackled and now bound above her head. With effort she opened her eyes, the world was spinning and moving strangely, she had to blink a couple of times before she could focus on the sky above her that was coloured by the setting sun in all its splendour.

Carefully she looked around and saw several red templars sitting around her, some with oars in their hands. They were on a boat. Where were they taking her?

A chunk of red lyrium lay next to her; she could feel it's sickly aura on her body. It made her feel even worse and weakened her connection with the Fade even more.

One of the red templars noticed her being awake, his ironclad hand grabbed her head, tilting it roughly. Then he poured water in her mouth. She swallowed a few gulps before she got a coughing fit. The templar waited before giving her more. The water tasted funny, but she was still too groggy to register what was wrong with it, she was thirsty, and her wounded body demanded water. Only when her connection to the Fade disappeared completely, she noticed what was wrong; it was laced with magebane. Fearful she looked at the templar.

He evilly grinned at her. "You guessed right. We can't let you cast your filthy magic."

Eirlana struggled as the poisonous magebane went through her. Her body ached, her muscles were sore, her hands, back and head were throbbing. She began to shiver, and she knew she was going into a state of shock. She had survived worse in the past, but she was worried about the safety of her child. She needed to become warm and heal before she could have any hope of escaping.

"Hey, you." her voice sounded raspy, she cleared her throat. "Hey, you!"

The red templar turned back to her and raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Hoping they wouldn't hurt her more she gathered her bravado. "I suspect someone has sent you to pick me up. I assume he or she wants me in somewhat decent health for whatever they are planning. I have a concussion, and I need more water and a blanket if you don't want to get in trouble with your boss."

He watched her for a while, and Eirlana thought she could try to act sicker on purpose to make her point. In the end, he threw a blanket over her and gave her more water laced with magebane. Even with the water being poisoned she drank, she needed the water to replenish the blood she had lost, even when it meant she couldn't use her magic for the time being. Feeling a little better she forced herself to fall back into a dreamless sleep, she needed to conserve her energy.

.

The days went by, the templars didn't seem to need any rest and travelled with her day and night. Eirlana was asleep most of the time, recovering from the blow to her head. She couldn't tell how many days had gone by, but slowly her headache subsided a little. At one point they abandoned their boat and put her on a cart.

She woke up when the cart jolted it was icy cold, and she shivered in her thinner clothes she wore for the Emerald Graves. She tried to curl herself up slightly under the blanket, but she knew it wouldn't help much. For a moment she thought they had travelled back to the Frostback Mountains but that couldn't be, the temperature had changed so abruptly that it couldn't be natural.

She still felt sick and weak, but there was something positive, the magebane was slowly leaving her system. They had given her normal water the last time she got something to drink, and now she could feel her powers slowly returning to her. That they hadn't given her more poison meant they would soon arrive at their destination. The cart tilted slightly as they ascended a mountain, they passed through snow-covered woods and past abandoned, ruined houses. Then she saw the first of many enormous red lyrium crystals growing out of the rocks, the farther they went, the more crystals she saw. They passed through several camps filled with red templars and more red lyrium. It looked like the further they travelled, the more deformed these lands were.

What had they done to this place?

Eirlana trembled fearing what all this red lyrium would do to her unborn child.

Suddenly they stopped, two templars grabbed her and loosened the chains holding her; they pulled her from the cart. They had arrived at an old stronghold; it looked elven in origin. Giant red lyrium crystals grew from the ground, emitting their sickly aura. A man came through the gate smiling at her; he seemed free of the deforming influence of the red lyrium. Eirlana braced herself sensing from his aura that he was a demon, a powerful one if he walked freely outside the Fade.

"Welcome, welcome." he greeted her. "I am sorry for the long, unpleasant journey. My name is Imshael, and I welcome you to these modest accommodations."

* * *

I like the forbidden ones their quests always are completely random but interesting in my opinion, especially Imshael, I loved him in the Masked Empire, he is a really twisted demon. Choice Spirit!

I hope we will meet the fourth, the Formless One in the next game.


	22. Chapter 22

Hey everyone,

The story takes a darker turn and I give you all a warning that this chapter contains torture, violence and flashbacks in Eirlana's life, including the assaults she has suffered.

Meanwhile, Solas tries to break through to Suladin Keep. In difference with the game, this time the red templars put on a fight and make use of the blockades they have set up to stop the Inquisition.

As always thank you for all the comments and likes. Love you guys.

* * *

 **Chapter 22**

.

.

Imshael stood grinning before her. "I looked forward to finally meet you." His eyes were scanning her with great interest. "Yes, you would be ideal."

Eirlana shuddered. What did he want with her?

His hand reached out and plucked her hair free that was caked to her head-wound. He tut-tutted in disapproval. "You have damaged your face. You should be more careful."

"Don't touch me, demon." she moved her head away and glared at him.

"Oh, but she will like you." he purred. "And I am a CHOICE spirit, not a demon."

With his cold smile not leaving his face, he stared at her, making her feel uncomfortable. After a while, he continued. "True to my name I will give you a choice. Either you will become a willing vessel, and you will never experie0nce pain or despair again. You even may punish these brutes for treating you the way they have." he gestured vaguely to the red templars who had brought her here. "Or you resist, and this will be a much longer more tedious and painful procedure."

"Let go of me!" Eirlana yelled and struggled to break free from the red templars grip.

"Now, now. That wasn't an option." Imshael corrected her. "I already can see you will make this more difficult than it needs to be." He sighed. "Bring her inside."

He walked back through the gates, followed by the red templars who dragged her along despite her attempts to resist. She was afraid. Whatever the demon had planned for her couldn't be good and being a vessel could only mean one thing; possession of her body. She needed to get away now.

.

The keep they dragged her into was mostly intact, the elegant elven stonework forming a grim contrast to what the red templars were doing here. They passed some empty caged wagons and when she saw the filth and dried blood inside of them her panic intensified. She needed to find a way out, quickly. Looking frantically around she spotted the crumbling archway they were passing under. This was her chance.

Brassing herself she struggled even harder. "Let me GO!" she yelled.

Imshael halted right under the archway looking back at her thrashing and struggling.

With him and the red templars halting to get her under control she acted. With her powers having returned she formed a well-aimed blast of force. The templars holding her flew to the sides, and the archway came crashing down, showering Imshael and the templars with bricks and stones.

Jumping back she created a wall of icy spikes and fire between her and them as best as she could. It was hard to place the magic with her hands being bound and broken, she had almost no movement in them. She turned and ran back towards the gates.  
Suddenly Imshael materialised right in front of her. "Is this how you choose to act? How disappointing."

Eirlana hurled ice spikes at him, trying to get past, but they shattered against an invisible shield. Her sharp movements reopened the wound on her back, and she could feel the warmth of her blood slowly run down.

She couldn't keep this up. In one last effort she reached out to the Fade, boulders fell down from the sky, burying the demon under flaming stones.

Panting heavily she stumbled, no longer having the energy her wall of ice disappeared. Her head was pounding, her wounds throbbing and she felt like she was going to be sick. With shaking hands she quickly healed her head-wound and stopped the bleeding, feeling a little better she ran past the pile of stones towards the gates.

A hand shot through the boulders, shattering them. Imshael grabbed her by the throat and smashed her against the wall. Eirlana's feet barely touched the ground as he pinned her against the wall. Struggling for air she instinctively tried to grab his arm, but her hands wouldn't move any more.

She stared at Imshael who was no longer smiling. He pulled her towards him only to slam her back. Desperately she summoned her magic to defend herself, but it fizzled when he banged her back again. She yelled out in pain, and black spots were forming in her vision as she struggled to stay conscious. Vaguely she heard more red templars running towards them. They had been alerted by the commotion; now there was no way for her to escape.

All of a sudden Imshael threw her into the hands of a couple of red templars. She coughed and gasped for air as iron gauntlets grabbed her roughly. Imshael looked furious at them. "What are you waiting for? Clean this mess up!" He gestured at the wounded red templars and rubble that lay in the way. He stared venomously at Eirlana. "Break her leg." he commanded, his voice cold and merciless. He walked past her without a second glance, resuming his path. His smile returned when he heard her pleading, followed by a sickly crack and her screams.

.

Eirlana hung limply between two red templars that dragged her to the cellars of the Keep. Her face was wet with tears as her right foot and leg dangled at an odd angle from her body. She was in shock, her body no longer in a condition to resist. Her hopes of escaping were shattered.

"Solas were are you?" she whispered as more tears rolled down her cheek.

They passed a corridor with several cells, through some of the doors red lyrium crystals were growing. She expected they would throw her in one of the cells, but instead they brought her through a large door that stood ajar from more red lyrium that grew from the ground. They came into a large room containing several cupboards filled with vials, jars and smashed up pieces of red lyrium. A table stood in the middle of the room with a complicated magical circle drawn around it.

The blood drained from Eirlana's face when she recognised it as a circle for demon summoning.

They threw her on the table and began strapping her down along her arms and legs. She couldn't suppress her cries when they bound her now broken leg. She tried to summon her mana, but one of the red templars immediately grabbed her by the throat. "Don't even think about it." he sneered at her.

Struggling for air, she was utterly helpless, and they finished binding her to the table.

Imshael stepped closer, and with a wink of his hand, the red templars moved back. "Watch out where you are stepping!" he barked at them. He sighed and turned his attention towards her. "Those brutes, all muscle with no brains. Sometimes I wonder why I even agreed to this."

Being in a lot of pain she asked through gritted teeth. "Why me?"

"Oh, a very old friend of mine wants to join me, and you know how it is, we now need a suitable body to exist here." he grinned at her. "And you my dear are an exceptional girl. With your talents we could find all sorts of lost treasures." he beamed at her as if she should be happy that she was here.

"Now I have a special treat for you." he showed her a big vial of lyrium, and with a sickly smile, he watched her as he carefully added a few drops of red lyrium to it. "This is your punishment for earlier." he explained to her.

Fear gripped Eirlana; he wanted to poison her. Desperately she tugged at her bindings.

"Someone hold her." Imshael instructed.

Metal gloves grabbed her head and pried her mouth open. She struggled in vain as the liquid was poured into her mouth and she was forced to swallow it.

.

The Fade was purplish in colour around her, tinted by the summoning circle that bound her here. Eirlana panted in an almost panic; he had given her red lyrium, he had poisoned her. What was going to happen to her child, to herself? Clutching her belly, she shuddered knowing what happened to the templars who took it.

No, she needed to calm down, it was only a small amount, she would survive this. With a simple gesture, she willed her staff in her hand. Grabbing the smooth wood gave her confidence that she could get out of here. She needed to act before the ritual of summoning the demon would be finished.

Quickly she began to cast, using the connection she had with her body she created a shield specifically around her womb, hoping it would protect her child against the red lyrium. She hoped that Imshael and the red templars wouldn't notice it with the magical energies the summoning circle would emit.

Then she moved towards the edge of the confined area, the runes of the summoning circle glowed menacingly at the rim. Carefully she reached out and was immediately pushed back by the strength of the barrier; it would be nearly impossible to break through this. There was no other option than to face the demon they would summon. A soft giggle drifted through the Fade. Eirlana's heart sank, it was a desire demon. Grabbing her staff more firmly she glared into the Fade and waited.

"Such intense eyes." the demon whispered into her ear.

She spun around to face it, but saw only a fade shadow disappearing into nothing.

"I don't want to hurt you." the voice purred on. "That would be such a shame. We could accomplish so much if we work together. My name is Xebenkeck, and I want us to be friends."

Eirlana prepared herself, this was a demon who liked to play; it would pick on her weaknesses one at a time. Slowly breaking her down until it found something that would crack her resolve, and with her past, the demon would have plenty to choose from. Quickly she put up several mental barriers she had learned from Solas to protect herself; she needed to hide the existence of her child as well as the other secrets she carried.

"Oh, you poor thing. There is so much pain in your past, so much darkness."

Suddenly Eirlana was back on the table in the cell, the red templars were dead, and Imshael was gone. Someone was freeing her from the bindings. She jerked at them, trying to get free. What had happened?

"Vhenan lay still." Solas face came in view and with a painful expression he carefully stroked her along her head wound. "I am so sorry. Let me help you, let me take it all away."

"Don't worry Snowflake. We got you back." she could hear Varric say but didn't see him.

No this wasn't right, this wasn't real. Blue flames erupted around her, burning it all away. In horror, she watched as her loved ones screamed when the fire consumed them.

"Begone demon! You have nothing to offer me."

"You really think you have a chance against me?" Shrill laughter erupted around her. "Even the ancient elves couldn't defeat me. The fools banished us, but we still exist until this day, and their empire has fallen."

"You will not tempt me." Eirlana said more confident than she felt, she was alone, trapped and weakened facing an ancient and powerful demon. She had no way to escape the demon's attacks and had no other choice than to endure them until someone would save her.

"You poor sweet thing, everyone has a weakness. I will find yours eventually."

.

Four days, they had been on the road, for four days already and still they hadn't found any trace of Eirlana or her captors. They had chased every lead and rumour they had, but so far they only had found more smugglers or abandoned camps. The trail they were following was leading them steadily north.

Night had come again, and with a groan, Ryan, Sera and Iron Bull fell exhausted onto their bedrolls to get a few hours of sleep. Solas sat down against a tree, he had spent every minute of rest in the Fade to search for any sign of Eirlana, but even there he had found nothing, no trace he could follow, no sign were she could be. Wherever she was, they had cut her off from her magic making her defenceless and untraceable. He was desperate to find her and had asked every friendly spirit that he knew to find her. His agents were also searching far and wide, but with the red templars being everywhere it was hard to track their movements. Closing his eyes, he prepared himself to enter the Fade once more, hoping he would finally find her.

"Solas!"

One of the scouts ran towards him, one of his spies. "There is an urgent message from Nightingale."

"Show it to me." he wouldn't normally read a message before the Inquisitor, but he was desperate. It said that she had gained information that the red templars had an operation in Sahrnia a small village in Emprise du Lion. Reports suggested that the red templars were gathering there for whatever they had planned. Cullen had already left with a company of troops to assist them.

Solas immediately stood up and walked to Ryan to wake him up. He needed to see this.

.

Eirlana stood in a grand office; everything looked unfamiliar and prominent. The walls were covered with cabinets filled with books, strange objects and skulls. Many candles lit up the room and behind a dark wooden desk sat a strange man looking at her with cold eyes that frightened her. When the huge black doors closed behind her, she shuffled closer against her mother, who pulled her to the front.

"Tell the Master about your dreams."

Afraid she shook her head, her auburn curls bouncing around.

Her mother hit her. "I said tell him about your friends."

"No!" she yelled in her childlike innocence. "They are my secret; they play with me when I sleep."

The man behind the desk slowly rose from his chair looking at her with interest. "So, you have friends that you meet when you sleep." he played with a small pouch of coins in his hand. She hid behind her mother again, afraid of the strange man.  
Eyeing the pouch, her mother pushed her away. "You can have her."

The man grabbed her by the arm and tossed the pouch to her mother. "Leave us."

Eirlana screamed as her mother left quickly through those big black doors. "Mama! Mama, don't leave me!" but it was too late.

She was suddenly locked in a dark cell, panicked she slammed her tiny fists against the door, tears streaming down her face. "Mama! Let me out! Mama! Mama!"

"I can take this all away. Make them pay for what they did." a voice purred.

Her mother and her former Master lay trembling before her. "Please forgive me." her mother pleaded. "I had no other choice."

With a flick of her wrist, her mother and her Master turned into stone and shattered into pieces. She looked in disbelief at what she just had done before she yelled into the darkness. "Not very tempting demon, besides my Master is already dead."  
She felt a hand on her shoulder, whirling around she shot icy spikes into the mist.

"Now, that is not very nice." Xebenkeck appeared from a cloud of mist; it had a bloody scratch on its cheek where the ice had hit. Slowly it scooped up some of the blood. "Is this how you want to play?" it asked and licked the blood from its fingers. "Then let's play."

The demon kept attacking her, using her memories to assault her mind again and again. It showed her how she had suffered from the experiments, the pain she had experienced, how she lay terrified in the dark weak by the lyrium exposure and bloodlettings. The rituals they performed, how she begged them to stop. The desperation and helplessness she felt as a child seeped through her like a slow poison, the feeling too familiar. How often she had laid in the dark praying for her mother to come, for someone to save her. How she sometimes wished she would just die. However, they wouldn't let her, patching her up countless times, demanding answers to questions she couldn't possibly know.

The bad memories always changed to something she wished for, that she was able to resist her former Master and his assistants, how she punished and tortured them with her magic, how she was revelling in her revenge. They were all lies, but the change in emotion was exhausting. Most difficult were the visions were she was freed and saved by her loved once. The worst was when Solas appeared in front of her, whispering sweet words of love and endearment, asking her to join him. The vision of him pleaded with her to give in, promising her safety, telling her that she had suffered long enough.

Again and again, Eirlana recognised the lies the demon was showing her. Every time she lashed out and destroyed the warped memories and illusions, knowing it wasn't real.

Xebenkeck was getting more exciting and amused with every attack she repelled. "Hmm, interesting." it chuckled.

She knew it was tempting her to react, to give it more information for it to use.

"So you think silence will save you?"

"You won't break me!"

"We shall see." it laughed. "We shall see."

Eirlana woke up, as always her mind had difficulty to focus. How many times had she already been thrown into the Fade? With a groan she moved her head, the summoning circle emitted a dull light, and beyond that, she could see Imshael already preparing her next lyrium dosage. She felt sick, and her wounds ached with the dull thumping of her beating heart. Every little movement hurt as the tiny shards of red lyrium pierced her flesh, slowly taking root, growing relentlessly, poisoning her. Iron gloves grabbed her head again as Imshael walked closer the vial of laced lyrium in hand. Once again she was forced to swallow and thrown back into the Fade.

.

Another red templar fell to Solas lightning joining his brethren already dead on the ground. They had overcome another ambush of the red templars, one of the many they already dealt with on their way to Sahrnia. He felt relieved when the small snow-covered town came finally into view. He only hoped they would find Eirlana here.

"Inquisitor!"

Solas looked up when Cullen rode towards them. At last, the reinforcements had arrived. The had already lost to much time, and the ambushes of the red templars didn't help their progress.

Cullen and Cassandra quickly dismounted and went to Ryan to discuss how they would proceed further. Troops promptly set up tents and took care of the horses while the people of Sahrnia gathered, watching them. Judging by their expressions, they were the first friendly faces they had seen in a long time.

Solas was surprised how many soldiers had come to help them. True they needed to deal with the red templar threat, but to his surprise many of the troops nodded and greeted him, murmuring words of encouragement that they had come to help and that the red templars would pay. He was amazed just how many people had come to help find Eirlana, and he wondered how different they would react if he or someone else had been taken.

Dorian and Varric walked towards him.

"Is there any news?" Varric asked him anxiously.

Solas shook his head. "No, nothing."

"We will find her." Dorian grabbed his shoulder. "How are you holding up?"

Solas was silent for a moment. How was he holding up? He had no idea. Almost a week had passed since they took her and he had never felt such dread in his life. Not knowing if she was hurt or alive left him in fear. He had called out to her in the Fade, but it had brought nothing. He felt angry, angry at the world and angry with himself. He had left her behind. He thought she would be safer there than engaging the enemy. Her last words before they left camp haunted him. 'I have you to protect me.' she had said, and he had failed her. He felt helpless.

"I... I don't know." he answered truthfully.

Varric took Bianca of his back. "We have all come to help. Even the Iron Lady." he pointed at Vivienne who was standing with Blackwall waiting for Ryan to finish. "They will regret that they have taken her. And really more red lyrium." he sighed. "I'm sick of this shit."

With the troops preparing themselves they followed Ryan into the small town, or rather what was left of it. Most of the houses lay in rubble, and only a few were still standing. A man in Orlesian armor strode towards them.  
"Michel de Chevin, at your service, your worship." he saluted Ryan. "I saw your troops coming from afar, but I never expected to see the Herald of Andraste himself."

"Ser Michel de Chevin?" Ryan asked. "The champion of the late Empress Celene?"

"The Empress is dead then? Alas, the Game is merciless and can get the best of us. I suspect Grand Duke Gaspard has now the throne. He will make a good Emperor, in his own way. However, I am no longer a Ser, nor a Champion, due to a demon called Imshael. Now I hunt him, and I have followed him here to Sahrnia. Imshael has settled in Suladin Keep up in the hills; he is free to do so because I made a mistake. I will see him destroyed. With you now here there is perhaps a way to break through the red templars who guard him."

Solas heart stopped for a moment when he heard Imshael's name. Why was he here? Now it was even more critical to find Eirlana because he knew how cruel and twisted Imshael's nature was.

"Who is this Imshael?" Ryan asked.

"A desire demon, more cunning than anything I have encountered... and I have played the Game. Imshael has roamed the land for some time. If anything, he will have grown in power. Why he is here in Emprise du Lion, however, is anyone's guess. Perhaps he has gained the cooperation of the red templars or vice versa."

"Inquisitor." Ryan turned towards Solas. "Imshael is an ancient, very powerful demon. There are stories of him in old elven legends; he is more dangerous than any demon we have faced so far. Please, we have to hurry and find Eirlana, if she is in his hands, there is no telling what he could do to her."

Ryan nodded. "I understand Solas. We will not leave here until we have found her." He turned back to Michel. "Have you seen a group of red templars travelling with an elven woman recently."

Michel shook his head. " No, I haven't seen anything, but the red templars are transporting red lyrium and people constantly from and to the mines. As I said, Imshael is in the Keep, but red templars heavily guard the path leading up the mountain."  
"Then lets head out. Cullen are the troops ready?"

"Yes, Inquisitor!"

"Then we go and, Maker willing, crush the red templars once and for all."

.

It was night in the forest, and Eirlana looked around. At first, she didn't know what the demon wanted here until a terrified servant ran past her. Dread and horror filled her as she heard screaming in the distance, she knew where she was.

"You don't have to see this. It could all go away." Xebenkeck materialised next to her.

She swallowed, knowing what would happen next. "If you think I could ever forget this you are mistaken. You are not the first demon who has tried this."

"Tsk, tsk. Don't compare me to those filthy things. You know I am different."

With a snap of its fingers, she began to walk. Not that she was walking but rather the scene was moving past her, they came closer to a clearing where a large fire was burning.

Eirlana wanted to run away, but she couldn't, the screams were getting louder and hit her deeper than anything she had experienced until now. It chilled her to the bone for she knew those screams of fear and pain were hers.

Before a high and bright burning fire, her former Master was strung up at his hands hanging from a tree. Several drunk men were sitting around laughing and joking with each other. The fire was obscuring what was happening on the other side. She felt sick, and she knew that if she wouldn't be in the Fade bile would have come up, for this was the night her life had changed into a living nightmare. This night was one of many that would follow that she wished she would die, hoping every day that it would be her last. It was the night where she learned the true meaning of helplessness, pain and shame. It was the beginning of endless months of torture and abuse at the hands of these monsters.

Her former Master screamed out in agony when a glowing hot dagger was pushed against his thigh. He was powerless, drained from his magic, severely beaten and his expensive robes torn. He looked nothing like the man whom she feared for so long.  
"Tell me why you are here Vint!" the rogue templar demanded, pressing the dagger against a new piece of flesh. "I know you are here on a mission. No one of your kind comes here voluntary."

Her former Master's head hung limp, and he mumbled something in Tevene.

The templar punched him hard in the stomach. "Speak something we can all understand you piece of shit."

Eirlana heard her own screaming die down, she was now crying and whimpering.

One of the templars companions emerged from behind the fire, closing up his trousers. "You were right boss. That one is a treat, we should keep her for a while."

A slap sounded through the air and she heard herself yell out terrified and in pain.

"Don't damage her face!" the rogue templar yelled. "I don't like that."

The scene froze suddenly before her eyes.

"I feel your pain." Xebenkeck purred beside her. "This doesn't have to be real, it could all go away."

Eirlana knew what the demon wanted and knew what would happen next if she wouldn't give in. Exhausted and tired of the visions she shook her head.

"Oh my dear, you don't have to suffer. I don't want to see you in agony; I want to be your friend. We could do so much together; there is no need for you to see this."

Lies, she knew it was lying, but its words sounded sweet in her ears. How often she had wished she could have erased this part of her life, to be free of the horrors, she had experienced. To turn back time and burn it all away, but she knew it was impossible, one couldn't change the past. However, to be able to forget what had happened, to forget all this, to be free, it was tempting. She could have a normal life, normal relationships, free of her doubts, her fears, her insecurities, it sounded too good to be true. But as much as she hated her past, it was part of her, and a part of who she was.

She shot ice towards the demon and hit it, angry it hissed at her.

"This is my past demon, and nothing that you can do will change it. Leave me be!"

Eirlana knew she had angered the demon and she braced herself at what would come next, trapped and weakened by the red lyrium she couldn't protect herself against the mental attacks of the demon. Suddenly she was on the other side of the fire, her hands bound above her head, her clothes torn, her body in pain. Two men were drinking beside her, howling and encouraging the next man that was stepping forward to violate her.

She tried her best to keep her emotions suppressed, tried to tell herself that this wasn't real, that this was an illusion, but as the hands touched her, her fears and terrors returned. The disgust she had felt, the shame, the fear, it came all crashing back to her. She froze, parallelised by her own terror, the memory too vivid, too real.

Tears streamed down her face as she fought against it, she needed to resist. She screamed and lashed out with all the power and energy she had; the vision vanished in a field of icy crystals.

Alone, she was alone. Slowly she got up to her feet, wavering. Xebenkeck was gone for now, but she would return trying again to possess her. Suddenly she felt something shivering within her.

"Please, no!" Eirlana exclaimed and sunk to her knees holding her stomach. Tears rolled down her cheek as she felt her child struggling, its life-force flickering. Her child was in pain, she was slowly dying. The red lyrium had infested her body too much, and there was nothing she could do to protect her. Helpless she started to shiver wishing for someone to come, for someone to save her child.

"Solas, please." she whispered crying silently. "Please come, please save us."

Trembling she gently emitted a calming energy towards the child.

"I am so sorry." she whispered, cradling the unborn life within her. "I am so sorry."

.

The progress to break through to Suladin Keep was slow, the red templars had built several fortifications up the mountain and were trying their hardest to stop them.

Solas shot out a stonefist to the behemoth in front of him. It staggered back right into the path of Iron Bull's axe. With a dull groan, it crashed to the ground falling apart into big chunks of red lyrium. All around Solas the Inquisition's forces were marching forward engaging the remaining red templars and destroying the barricades they had build.

It was terrible to see what the red templars had done to the land. The infestation of red lyrium could be found all over. The giant crystals seemed to be growing everywhere from the snow-covered ground. They hampered his spell casting and emitted a sickly strange warm aura that felt unnatural to the extreme cold that had fallen over Emprise du Lion. The crystals were sometimes so hot that it burned the snow next to it, creating blackened ground and ice.

Night was already fallen, and they still hadn't reached the last of the red templars fortifications.

"Everyone get some rest! We will push on in a couple of hours." Ryan commanded.

Anxiously Solas stepped towards him.

"We will attack the last stronghold at night. With any luck, we will have broken through in the morning. We will march onto the Keep at dawn. Get some rest Solas; we will need to gather our strength before we engage this Imshael."

Reluctantly Solas nodded and sat down against a crate; he felt defeated. In the past he would have long destroyed the red templars, wiping them off the face of Thedas, but now he was still too weak to face them alone. If only he had his orb, if only he were stronger. Blocking out the commotion around him he forced his body to rest.

.

Eirlana knew she was waking up when the pain intensified. Her body ached, her throat and lips were parched, and cold permeated her. Tears flowed down her temple as she slowly opened her eyes. The pain was constant now, and she could feel the red lyrium growing inside of her with every breath she took. It was as if her body was filled with countless shards piercing her flesh and bone, its sickening song hummed through her mind. The red lyrium was consuming her, and she felt heavy from the added weight of the crystals.

As always Imshael smiled at her when she woke up. "You are resilient." he grinned at her and activated his magic. With her mind slowly breaking he could easily see the fear in her eyes.

"Don't worry; this circle will keep the growth in check. We don't want to damage your body too much. I only want to enhance it a little, to make you perfect."

She could feel the red lyrium in her body reacting immediately to his magic, as he encouraged it to grow. It hurt, the pain was as if hot glowing shards were moving inside of her, infesting her more, splinters growing, fusing together, it was excruciating. No longer having the energy to scream, silent tears streamed from her eyes.

She was losing this fight, and Eirlana could feel the life force of her unborn child shivering inside of her. Her child was struggling to survive as the torture continued, her child was afraid, afraid like her and she could do nothing to protect her.

Seeing her struggle, Imshael whispered. "You know you can stop this now. It can all go away. You don't have to suffer through this; you just have to make the right choice."

Her lips quivered as she hesitated for a moment. Her hands pulled at her bindings as she tried to press them protectively across her womb. More tears slipped from her eyes before she snarled. "Never!"

Imshael shrugged, and a red templar grabbed her head so he could pour more contaminated lyrium into her.

'Solas forgive me.' she thought before she slipped back into the Fade, knowing she had just sealed her child's fate.

Eirlana broke down in the Fade; she had lost all hope.

Why had nobody come for her?

Where was Solas?

Where were her friends?

She couldn't fight any longer. Shacking she held onto the small light of her child that was trembling in her hands, flickering, slowly fading away. She knew there was only one thing she could do, but she couldn't, not to this child.

She could feel the demon coming closer, and she held onto her child, pressing it against her own spirit.

"Oh, no." Xebenkeck gasped. "That poor thing. Why didn't you tell me? We still can save her; it isn't too late."

The demon hovered closer to her. "It doesn't have to be this way. You know I don't want to hurt you, and I certainly don't want to hurt your child. Let me help you and be together."

Tears rolled down Eirlana's cheek, knowing she couldn't trust the demon.

Xebenkeck tried to soothe her. "Let us care for her, love her, she has a whole life still in front of her."

"I am so sorry." Softly Eirlana kissed the light of her child. Gathering her power she sent a spike of energy through her, extinguishing the life before it had begone.

The demon shrieked in anger.

Broken and crying Eirlana didn't resist as she was plunged into the next illusion.

She was inside a wooden hut, she didn't recognise it, but it looked cosy. A warm fire was burning inside a fireplace, a pot of soup bubbling slowly above it. Through the hut lay books and dried plants, furs and cushions lay on several benches and chairs. Who was living here?

She heard laughter outside, and she walked towards it. The hut stood at the edge of a forest, and beautiful meadow stretched out before her. Solas was kneeling next to a small child with dark brown curly hair. He had his hand placed gently on her shoulder.

"Concentrate on the tingly feeling da'len. Think about how light the feather is."

Slowly a feather in front of the child rose up from the ground surrounded by a shimmering globe.

"I did it Papae." she yelled, beaming at Solas, but the spell fizzled immediately as she lost her concentration. Solas laughed. "You need to concentrate more da'len. Here let me show you." he performed the same spell, and another feather lying before him rose from the ground. Eagerly the child tried her spell again, and her feather slowly rose also, as before.

Eirlana pressed her hands against her mouth and sobbed. Rapidly she blinked her tears away as her vision blurred.

Solas looked up and went to her looking worried. "What is wrong vhenan? You look distraught."

The little girl ran towards her. "Who is that Papae?"

"That is Mamae, da'len." Solas explained to her.

The girl shook her head. "No, Mamae didn't want me."

Eirlana cried; it was a lie. She wanted her with all her heart. She had no choice but to spare her from a painful, agonising death.

"Why did you murder me Mamae?"

Eirlana's broke down, and sank to her knees, but before Solas could take her in his arms, she let her magic flow setting everything on fire. The pain in her body intensified, she knew she was also dying. Having nothing left to give she set the Fade ablaze. Xebenkeck shrieked out in pain. Tired of the endless mind torture Eirlana attacked the demon. This would end now.

.

"Sir, they have broken through the last fortifications." a red templar reported to Imshael.

"You useless idiots. Secure this room. I will deal with this Inquisitor myself." Imshael ordered and marched out of the room.

Quickly the red templars used their maces to smash the red lyrium crystals that blocked the door. None of them noticed that a few shards flew onto the summoning circle. The circle flickered for a moment and grew slowly dimmer.

Eirlana hit Xenbenkeck with a stonefist, and the demon disappeared in a puff of smoke. She knew the demon was hiding to attack her again. On alert she felt a slight tremor in the Fade, something had changed. Quickly she went to the edge of the summoning circle where the barrier still was in place, but the runes looked somehow dimmer. Her heart skipped a beat something happened that had weakened the circle if it weakened more she could attempt to break the barrier and finally escape from this place. Suddenly pain shot through her, and she screamed out in agony. Panting hard she stumbled, something was happening to her body. Horror filled her, the red lyrium. Imshael had told her that the circle was keeping the growth at bay. Now with the magic weakening the red lyrium was growing, and nothing could stop it.

.

Dawn had come, and Ryan looked around the destroyed fortifications, they had finally broken through. He took a big gulp from his hip-flask. "Right! Let's deal with this Imshael. Cullen, you and the remaining troops, will take the mines and free the workers. We will take the Keep."

"Yes, Inquisitor!" Cullen saluted him and began to direct his men to move onto the query.

Solas looked anxiously at Suladin Keep that was visible in the distance. Varric loaded Bianca next to him.

"Come on Chuckles let's get her back and teach those bastards a lesson."

Solas nodded at him but after finding the remains of people used to grow red lyrium more quickly he had a bad feeling at what they would find within the Keep.

They met massive resistance at the entrance of the Keep; the red templars tried everything to stop them. Inside they found more carts with corpses. With every body they found, Solas feared to find Eirlana among them. It was horrifying to see how far the red templars were willing to go to establish their power. They even had tried to infect a couple of giants, most of the creatures had perished in the process. The couple that had survived fell quickly to their weapons, bringing them out of their misery.  
"Let's split up to cover more ground. Solas, Bull, Dorian and Varric search the lower parts of the Keep. We take the upper parts." Ryan ordered before he climbed the stairs followed by Cassandra, Blackwall, Vivienne and Sera.

Iron Bull kicked in the heavy door, Solas, Varric and Dorian followed him into the Keep that was almost abandoned. They encountered only a few templars that were in the process of severe red lyrium poisoning, their bodies were grotesquely deformed and eventually they would be turned into behemoths. They dealt with them and moved deeper into the Keep until they found the dungeons.

The cells were filled with mangled corpses; red lyrium crystals grew out of their remains. Just how many people had the red templars infected? With each cell, they opened Solas' fears heightened, but Eirlana was nowhere to be found until they came upon a barricaded door.

Iron Bull grabbed his axe, and with a few smashes the door was destroyed. A small group of red templars stood ready for them, but Iron Bull immediately charged, making way for the others to follow. They moved into the chamber, but Solas halted his step. He could only stare as his world shattered around him. Shackled to a table lay Eirlana, she looked lifeless, her body beaten and bruised. The sight would scar him for eternity.

"Vhenan!" He rushed towards her but stopped when he noticed the summoning circle drawn around her. Feeling no magic coming from it, he quickly stepped inside.

"Vhenan." He brushed her face gently, her skin was ashen, and she felt cold to the touch. She had bruises all around her throat and mouth, and he could see the trails left by tears running down her face.

What had they done to her?

Something felt wrong. His eyes scanned her body end halted at her right hand; it was swollen and almost black in colour from the bruises on it. However, what caught his eye wasn't the bruises it was the small shard of red lyrium that pierced her flesh.  
No! It couldn't be.

His face went pale. They couldn't have.

He felt his panic rise. "Eirlana, vhenan. Please, open your eyes." he shook her softly.

Getting no reaction he forced his hand to move, and slowly opened one of her eyes. Her beautiful winter-blue eye stared blank back at him, but there was also the sickening glow of red lyrium. They had infected her.  
Behind Solas' back, both Iron Bull and Varric cursed.

"Maker! What did those bastards do to her?" Varric mumbled.

Letting his magic flow, Solas carefully examined her. It was worse than anything he imagined, her body was infested with shards of red lyrium, she had cuts and bruises all over her body, her breath was shallow and her pulse weak. He concentrated on her, but to his shock, he couldn't feel her spirit. It was as if an empty shell lay before him, as if her mind had gone and left her body behind.  
Fear gripped him.

No this couldn't be happening, this couldn't be true.

He moved his hand to her belly already fearing what he would find. There was nothing there. His hand balled into a fist as he was consumed by sorrow and anger. His child was lost to him. He reached again out to Eirlana, but he felt nothing. His heart broke, he couldn't lose her too, not like this.

"Vhenan." he whispered again and kissed her parched lips. This couldn't be happening. He was supposed to get her somewhere safe, somewhere they could be together, somewhere where he could watch her belly grow under the warming sun, somewhere where she would be happy and was being cared for. He was supposed to be a father. Tears burned in his eyes.

"What did they try to do to her?" Varric asked.

Dorian's face looked grim. "This is a summoning circle. They tried to do some sort of ritual. He picked up one of the bottles of lyrium; the liquid was blue with red. "They would have given her lyrium to break open her mind. It looks like they mixed regular lyrium with red lyrium."

"If they have given her the red stuff..." Varric went silent and shook his head.

They heard the sound of armoured men running in their direction.

"We got company." Iron Bull warned them and readied his axe. "Come you bastards!"

"Bianca has a message for you!" Varric grabbed his crossbow.

Dorian stepped forward engulfing everyone with a magical barrier. Suddenly the air changed, Dorian looked behind him and saw magic leaping wildly from Solas. Before anyone could do anything, the hallway burst into flames, scorching everyone in it. Iron Bull leapt back just in time pulling Varric with him. In the hallway, the red templars screamed in agony as they were burned alive.

They all looked in shock at Solas, who didn't even hear the screams. His eyes were fixated on Eirlana. They had never seen such a display of power from him.

"Solas." Dorian carefully put a hand on his shoulder. "Let's get her out of here."

Solas nodded, and they both began loosening the bindings holding Eirlana to the table. Solas carefully slipped a hand under her back and felt the old dried blood. He lifted her and saw the nasty deep gash on her back, her top ripped and bloody. Along the wound red lyrium crystals were shimmering.

Dorian helped him holding her up, while Solas took off his coat and wrapped it around her. He lifted her carefully but had to adjust his grip. She was heavy, the red lyrium weighing her down.

"Let me carry her." Iron Bull offered.

"No." Solas shook his head and lifted her from the table.

.

They went silently through the now blackened corridor. Iron Bull walked up front; he could still feel the heat from Solas' magic that had even cracked the stone in some places. There were almost no traces left from the red templars caught in the blaze. He couldn't help but wonder how Solas had managed to emit so much power. True what they found had upset them all, but he couldn't deny the fact that Solas had never before shown so much raw power. Was he hiding it under the front of being a hedge mage or was this some freak display brought on by the shock of finding Eirlana in such a state? All he knew was that his contacts within the Ben-Hassrath had found little to no information of his life before the Inquisition. There were only recent vague sightings of a wandering bald mage. Was he hiding something? Not that he had caught Solas in any lies yet, but with so few traces of him outside of the Inquisition he couldn't help but be suspicious of the silent hedge mage.

.

As they made their way outside the Keep troops came in to secure it as a base. Apparently, Ryan and the others had dealt with Imshael and the remaining threat. A short while later they came down the stairs.

"Maker! Solas is she?" Ryan came towards them.

"She is alive, badly injured but still alive." Solas held Eirlana closer to his body, he wanted to get her out of here.

"It looks like those bastards tried to summon a demon through her." Dorian added.

"A demon summoning you say." Vivienne stepped in. "Inquisitor you should step back, and we should send for the templars immediately. There is a chance they have succeeded with her being an untrained mage."

Varric looked worried. "Those pieces of shits. They poisoned her with red lyrium. We don't know how much they have given her."

Not wanting to linger any longer and to get his distance from Vivienne and Ryan, Solas started to walk. Iron Bull and Varric naturally followed him.

"I will stay back and study the circle in more detail." Dorian announced and walked back inside, Vivienne following him.

.

The walk back to the camp was solemn. A wave of silence followed them as the soldiers saw Solas carrying Eirlana's lifeless body. They were victorious and had dealt the red templars a crushing blow, but this victory turned sour for they had failed to make it on time to save Eirlana.

At the camp, Solas whistled for his hart.

"Where are you planning to take her?" Iron Bull asked, helping him getting her on the mount.

"Away from the red lyrium."

"Then let's go to the first camp, where there is less of this stuff. We can tend to her there."

He and Varric quickly got onto their mounts and rode down the mountain. Everywhere they passed the troops fell silent as they rode by. It was not surprising Iron Bull thought. Eirlana had spent months healing and caring for the soldiers; everyone knew someone who owed their life to her. It was remarkable how many hearts Eirlana had touched in her time within the Inquisition, even he himself felt defeated that they had failed.

Arriving at the main camp, Solas immediately brought her to their tent and put her gently down on their furs. He scanned her again with his magic, but there was still no sign of her spirit. Wherever she was, she was far away from him. He pressed his eyes shut when his magic reached her womb. Tears stung his eyes when he felt nothing, the life he felt pulsing not a week ago was gone forever. He refused to linger on that thought. Taking a few deep breaths, he pushed his grief aside. He needed to concentrate on Eirlana, she was still alive and needed him. With care, he started to remove her clothes and began to wash and bandage her.

.

It was midday when Cassandra came into the tent. "How is she?" she asked looking worried.

Solas sighed. "I have cleaned and healed her wounds and set her bones as best I could, but it is difficult, the red lyrium has infested her whole body, preventing my magic to have its normal effect. I don't know what I can do more for her." he brushed Eirlana's face.

"At least she doesn't appear to be in pain with her being unconscious."

"This isn't a normal form of unconsciousness. I can't feel her spirit at all. It could be she has retreated herself somewhere safe deep within the Fade, but the chances of that are slim. I will search for her in the Fade again, but I have little hope, the Fade is infinite and finding her will be difficult. For now, all we can do is wait and find a way to remove the red lyrium from her."

"Dorian has come back. He has more information, and Ryan insisted you should attend the meeting."

Swallowing down a hateful remark Solas followed her. To his dismay, two templars stood stationed outside his tent. Apparently, Ryan had followed up on Vivienne's advice.

In the commander's tent, there were Ryan, Vivienne, Cullen and Dorian, Cassandra and he joined them.

"I have studied the summoning circle in more detail." Dorian started. "It was no simple ritual they tried on her. Judging by the complexity of the circle and who Imshael was they tried to bind her to a powerful demon. With her being in such bad shape she likely has resisted them with all she had. I know from my countrymen that such rituals need to be fuelled, either by lyrium or blood. Vivienne nor I have found any trace of bloodmagic only great quantities of lyrium. Some of it was contaminated by red lyrium; I suspect they have fed her the contaminated lyrium to weaken her resolve. There were at least a dozen empty vials in that chamber."

Vivienne continued. "We must conclude that if they tried to possess her, there is a significant chance they have succeeded. She is a un-harrowed mage, and has undergone no form of formal training despite my advise and offer. There is no telling what could be living inside her right now."

"She is not possessed." Solas said through gritted teeth. "She would never give in to the temptations of a spirit."

"You mean a demon." Vivienne corrected him.

The others began to talk also, trying to figure out what to do now. Cullen had been quiet; his fist clenched the hilt of his sword as he listened to the discussion. It pained him that there was nothing he could do to help Eirlana. Of all people, she didn't deserve this fate. Out of nowhere, he got an idea. "Maybe Dagna can help!"

Everyone went silent and stared at him.

"We have never tried to get red lyrium out of a person." he continued. "Dagna has been studying its effect intensively; maybe she can find a way."

Solas turned around to leave. "I will bring her to Skyhold."

"And you are not going alone." Dorian stated.

"Agreed, go to Skyhold." Ryan said.

Vivienne cut in. "I don't know if it is wise to bring a demon into our base of operation."

Ryan hesitated for a moment but shook his head. "Cullen, assign a templar and some forces to escort them."

An hour later Varric, Iron Bull, Dorian, Garrick and some troops stood ready. Solas sat on his hart, Eirlana warmly dressed was securely pressed against his chest. Not looking behind him he spurted his mount on to reach Skyhold as quickly as possible.


	23. Chapter 23

I apologise to everyone who rooted for the baby, life in Thedas can be cruel. Needles to say Imshael has made a new enemy.

.

* * *

 **Chapter 23**

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.

Solas rode as hard as the mounts could carry them. The others had a difficult time keeping up with him. As night fell Dorian yelled. "Solas we need to stop and rest! The mounts can't keep this up. We need to rest."

Reluctantly he agreed that they needed to make camp. Hastily they set up the tents and Solas immediately settled down in one with Eirlana. Wrapping her in a blanket he lay down next to her and went into the Fade. By now he was worried beyond reason, he needed to find her, find a spirit that may know a way that could restore her. He felt helpless and desperate. Even with all his knowledge and power, there was nothing he could do.

The sun had just started to rise when Solas woke up again; he was defeated, nothing he had found in the Fade was helpful. Now his only hope was that Dagna would find some way to help her.

He carefully checked on Eirlana's bandages, and to his shock, the red lyrium had pushed through at some places. It was growing, and he could do nothing to stop it.

He quickly went outside to wake the others; they needed to reach Skyhold as soon as possible. As they broke down their hastily build camp, Dorian went over some of the traces he had drawn from the summoning circle. "Solas, it could be that the ritual somehow regulated the growth of the lyrium. The summoning circle was already compromised when we found her, but maybe we can recreate its effect back at Skyhold and slow down the process or even reverse it. I will begin researching it immediately when we get there."

They got on their mounts and made their way up the Frostback Mountains. Luck was at their side, and with the spring melting the snow they made it back to Skyhold within two days. When they rode through the gates, Dagna and a team of healers and dwarves were already waiting for them.

.

Rosie came into their chambers, carrying a tray with some fruit, a bowl of soup and fresh elfroot. The last plate she had brought Solas still lay untouched on the table. "You should get some rest, Sir."

He shook his head and watched Rosie leave with the old tray. He stood up and gathered the elfroot to brew another tea for Eirlana. He was carefully feeding her little sips of elfroot tea, mixed with honey to keep her hydrated and fed.

For days now they were fighting a losing battle against the red lyrium. Together with Dagna and the healers he had tried everything imaginable to remove the red lyrium crystals, and stop their continues growth. He had searched the Fade far and wide for any information that could help him, for any trace of her spirit but he had failed again and again.

Once more life had shown its cruelty. It had ripped the one person he cared for violently away from him. The one person who was special to him. She had shown him wonders, taught him love, had given him hope that not all was lost in this world and now he could only wait until death would claim her and extinguish her bright light.

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Solas stood in the grove where Wisdom once lived. Several spirits roamed this peaceful place of the Fade, but tonight they kept their distance from him.

When had he fallen asleep?

His mind reached out, trying again to find any trace of Eirlana's spirit, but as all the times before he found nothing. He had lost all hope to ever finding her again. Smoke rose up around him, the Fade grew darker, and the spirits quickly fled away from him.

From the smoke, a big paw emerged, and six red eyes glowed in the shadows. The wolf had caught a scent, and he wouldn't rest until he found his prey.

.

Imshael was back in his realm in the Fade. His plans had backfired, and now he was once again bound to this place. He couldn't believe Corypheus hadn't summoned him back yet, so much for his alliance with the corrupted ancient Magister. He should have known better; he was probably being punished for failing in his task, it was pathetic. What he didn't understand was where Xebenkeck had disappeared to. She had to be either in the Fade or had successful possessed the elven girl, either way, he should be able to contact her, but she was gone. What had happened?

Suddenly the Fade trembled around him, something with enormous power had come to his realm.

Fen'Harel had found the demon with ease; his putrid smell hung on Eirlana's body where his filthy hands had touched her. Imshael was vain, even within the Fade he had taken the pathetic form of a human.

Imshael stared a the giant monstrous black wolf. He recognised its form immediately, even during the times of the Elvhen of old his power and cunning were legend. The Fade was trembling from the hatred and violent emotions that washed from the wolf in waves. Imshael swallowed, Fen'Harel, the Dread Wolf had come to his lair.

He made a bow before the wolf. "Welcome. What gives me the honour of your presence?"

"You have touched what is mine." A voice boomed all around him.

Imshael hesitated a moment. "I have touched what is yours?"

The wolf narrowed his eyes.

"Oh, you mean the elf. My deepest apologies, I didn't know. However, I didn't have much choice. You know how it is, we demons are bound by our contracts."

The Fade grew darker as the hatred of Fen'Harel intensified.

Imshael began to talk faster. "Is she still alive? When she is, I can help you to save her life. Of course, we have to come to some agreement about the price."

Solas felt Imshael's greed rise, hoping to strike a bargain with an ancient, powerful being. And although he wished nothing more than to save Eirlana he knew he couldn't trust the demon.

"You speak to the Lord of all Tricksters. Do you think I can't smell your lies? You can do nothing, and you will pay for what you have done."

Imshael couldn't move. A powerful spell trapped him, grabbing his very essence, even with his ancient powers he couldn't even move an inch. Nervously he laughed.

"Well, I can assure you we still can come to some sort of agreement."

He gasped when the power holding him intensified, it felt as if his very essence was being crushed.

"I... I can give you the name of my colleague. She was the one who tormented the poor girl."

"You will give me her name shortly."

Imshael started to tremble with fear, something he had rarely experienced before. Suddenly his feet were torn into non-existence. He screamed from shock.

"I am a demon. Nothing that you can do will matter. I will just reappear given time."

Fen'Harel chuckled. Even the spirits of old had forgotten what the Ancient ones could do. "I will wipe you from existence. I will spread your essence to the far reaches of the Fade, so you will never form again."

"You... you can't do that." Imshael screamed out; his legs had already disappeared to his knees.

"You have spent to much time among the mortals, I can, and I will wipe you from existence.

"Corypheus holds an orb of power from your people. I have information where he keeps it." Imshael said in desperation.

"Don't tell me things I already know." Although Solas didn't know the exact location of his orb, he didn't care at this moment. He wanted revenge and revenge he would get.

Imshael screamed out again as more of his essence disappeared into nothing. "Xebenkeck, it was Xebenkeck who tortured the girl."

Fen'Harel didn't stop.

"Corypheus will move next to Mythal's temple in the south, and there is a temple to the north that holds more information about Corypheus!"

Fen'Harel didn't want to hear any of it. He stepped closer to the now trembling demon and with a vicious bite he tore his head apart. Silencing Imshael forever.

The need for vengeance was still burning within him, the pain he felt for losing Eirlana, for losing his child ran too deep. He let out a sorrowful howl that could be heard till far in the Fade.

At Skyhold everyone woke up as their dreams were invaded by the terrifying howl and a deep sense of loss and sorrow.

.

Solas carefully wiped a damp cloth over Eirlana's face. Her breath was getting shallower.

"Vhenan, please come back to me." he whispered. "I need you."

Tears welled up in his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. When was the last time he had cried? It didn't matter. All hope was lost, and he could only wait for her to die. There was nothing left that he could do, nothing within his power that could stop it. He couldn't even pray for there were no gods he could pray to. All he could do was wait and be thankful she wasn't conscious and suffering. Still what he wouldn't give for her to open her eyes, to see her smile, to speak to her, to say one last goodbye.

Someone laid a hand on his shoulder. Solas looked behind him and saw Cullen; he hadn't heard him enter. When did he come back to Skyhold?

"I am so sorry Solas."

Cullen was shocked seeing Solas cry. Fighting back his own tears he squeezed his shoulder. "Let me know if I can do anything for you."

Solas shook his head, his gaze not leaving Eirlana's face.

Silently Cullen left him and walked to the Herald's rest. A deep sadness lay over Skyhold, people were quietly doing their chores, and no laughter or music could be heard from the tavern. The patrons inside were silently nursing their mugs.  
On the first floor sat Varric and Iron Bull; Cassandra, Sera and Dorian, who had just arrived at Skyhold, joined them.

"How is Eirlana?" Cassandra asked.

Varric just shook his head.

"She has gotten worse" Iron bull answered. "There is nothing we can do."

Cassandra nodded. "And Solas?"

"He hasn't left her side." Varric answered. "Shit this is torture. We are practically waiting for her to die."

"She will turn into one of those corpses we found, won't she." Sera asked. "Nug-balls!" she yelled and shot an arrow in frustration at one of the taverns beams, almost hitting Cullen who came up the stairs. After his initial scare, he joined the others at the table.

"It's your fault, didn't have to come up the stairs right now." Sera hissed but put her bow away.

Varric poured Cullen a mug of ale, who sat down silently.

"Any news Cullen." Iron Bull asked. "You seem shocked."

"Solas... he, he was crying."

"No." tears sprung into Sera's eyes. "If egghead is breaking down, it really is... SHIT! This is so not fair." she sniffed and rubbed her nose with her sleeve. "We won. I put that Imsh-tit full of arrows, and she still is going to die. Not fair!"  
"I hate feeling helpless." Cassandra growled.

Varric stood up. "I need some air."

.

Varric walked out of the tavern deep in thought. He wasn't ready to lose another friend, but there was nothing he could do. He had given all his research material to Dagna, but it had brought nothing.

Walking aimlessly he stopped when he stood for their room; his feet had carried him automatically here. Garrick stood by the door and nodded to him. Varric wanted to knock, but he also wanted not to intrude and give Solas room to say goodbye. He sighed, this was torture. Defeated he walked away again and came back a while later carrying a tray containing some broth, fruit and wine for Solas. He entered after he had knocked.

"Hey." he said and put the tray down. Eirlana looked awful; the growth was worse every time he visited. The lyrium had encased her leg and both of her arms. She lay on her side because on her back the red lyrium had also taken over. Dagna had removed parts of the crystals in vain, for they seemed to grow even faster after they had been removed. It was no wonder the red templars had used bodies to harvest more of the crystals.

The atmosphere was depressing, and Varric wished he could do something for either Eirlana or Solas. "Let's get some air inside here. Maybe we can change the sheets and get her more comfortable." he suggested.

Solas was silent but eventually nodded. "Thank you Varric."

They carefully carried Eirlana over to the other bed, covering her with a blanket. Varric then started to get the bedding outside for a good shaking.

.

Suddenly Eirlana started to convulse and cough.

"VHENAN!" Solas yelled.

They both rushed towards her, trying to move her into a stable position. Helplessly they watched as Eirlana shook and coughed.

"What's happening?!" Varric asked.

"I don't know."

Garrick came inside alerted by the commotion. "Get help!" Varric called to him, and Garrick ran back outside.

"Hold her Varric." Fearing the worst Solas began to pour his healing magic into her. He couldn't lose her.

Eirlana's gagging and coughing worsened. Solas and Varric looked worried at each other not knowing what they could do. Then she started to vomit red fluid.

At first, Solas thought it was blood, but the liquid immediately turned black.

They couldn't believe it, all over her body, the crystals of red lyrium started to crack along black veins that appeared within them. Chunks of crystal fell from her hands and back, and she coughed up more black liquid. Varric quickly fetched a bucket and held it under her. Black tears began seeping out of her eyes and all along her body wet patches appeared where the red lyrium oozed out of her wounds.

"How is this possible?" Varric muttered.

"I don't know Varric; I don't know."

Slowly the flow of black liquid changed and Eirlana started to bleed. With the red lyrium leaving her body the damage it left behind was severe. She bled heavily from the countless places where the shards of crystal had pierced her flesh. Solas immediately tried to stop it but there were too many wounds at once, too much trauma, too many dislocated and broken bones, he couldn't heal it all at once.

The door opened and in came Dagna and some of the healers.

"Quickly we need to stop the bleeding!" Solas yelled while his magic flowed into Eirlana, seeking, repairing, healing. The healers pushed Varric to the side and began their work with bandages and poultices, but it was too late. Solas could feel Eirlana's pulse weakening; she was slipping away.

He poured all of his own mana into her, but still, her life force was weakening. Desperate he reached out to one of the Evanuris old practices, he separated a part of his own life force and transferred it into her. It was an impulsive act and one that would bind him to her forever, but he couldn't lose her.

At first, nothing changed then to his surprise there was a sudden spark of energy within her. Her heartbeat slowly became stronger. Concentrating on her internal bleeding, he kept healing her, as more blackened lyrium poured out of her body.  
.

Solas felt old and exhausted. Never had he been so afraid in his life. Tired he looked at Eirlana lying in their bed, she was asleep and her wounds bandaged. Carefully he dripped a few drops of elfroot tea in her mouth, he had done so regularly for the past hours, to help her recover. Even with his life-force stabilising her, she was still extremely weak from her wounds and severe blood-loss. They had healed what they could, and now she needed to rest before they could attempt to treat her further. He still didn't know what happened; there was not a trace of red lyrium left in her body. It was a miracle, and at this moment he was just grateful she was alive.

Stretching himself, he got up to make some more tea.

Eirlana struggled to wake up. Her whole body ached and felt unfamiliar, from her head to the tip of her toes her body felt heavy and unresponsive. Everything hurt. Not being able to move she tried to open her eyes, but couldn't. It felt like her eyelids were made from lead. A moan escaped her lips and even that hurt.

Solas jerked and almost let the kettle of hot water slip out of his hands. Quickly he rushed to her side.

"Vhenan?"

He didn't get any reaction and started to wonder if he had imagined it. Then for a second, her eyes fluttered open, but she closed them immediately again and slipped back into a deep sleep.

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Eirlana woke up again and struggled to open her eyes. It was already dark, and only a few sparse candles lit up the room. It took her a while before she realised she was back at Skyhold, the warmth and the familiar smells hit her hard. This wasn't a false illusion this was real, she was back. Her body ached, but carefully she lifted her hand, it was unbound, and she could lift it a short distance before it became too hard and she let it fell back onto the bed. Moving her head a little she saw Solas sitting next to her, he was slumped over and asleep. He must have been exhausted to be able to sleep in such an uncomfortable position. With her muscles protesting she moved her hand and brushed her fingers over his scalp. She could hardly believe this was real, that she was safe and he was sitting next to her.

Feeling her touch Solas jolted awake, it startled her. Involuntary she recoiled from him. Pain shot through her, and she groaned. Visions of what had happened, the illusions of the demon, the torture, it came all crashing back to her. In shock she stared at Solas' stormy grey purple eyes, the same eyes she had seen on Fen'Harel.

"Vhenan! Stay still. You are badly wounded. You are safe; we are back at Skyhold."

"Solas." her voice crackled, barely a whisper.

He helped her up so she lay in a more upright position and gives her water to drink, which she swallowed greedily. He couldn't believe she was awake, that she would be all right. Putting down the cup he couldn't longer resist the urge and embraced her. "You are awake. You are finally awake."

Eirlana went rigid as he embraced her, but could hear his voice crack with emotion and feel him trembling. His body felt warm against hers, and his familiar smell of old books, vanilla and his magic almost overwhelmed her. This was her Solas; he had come for her. With her weak and bandaged hands, she tried to return his hold. She was back; she was home.

A wave of loss washed over her and she started to cry against his shoulder. "I am sorry." she whispered.

He held her more tightly against him.

"I am sorry Solas, I lost her." One of her hands went to her stomach, weekly grabbing the blanket that covered her. "I lost her." she wheezed and coughed through her tears.

"Vhenan." his voice broke.

Tears fell on her face that were not her own.

Slowly Eirlana lost her conscious again and fell back asleep.

Solas carefully lay her back down and wiped the tears off her face. He was overcome by grief, he had failed her, he had failed his own child, had failed to protect the life that didn't even had a chance to begin.

"I am sorry Vhenan" he whispered and held onto her hand. Pressing his lips against it he let his grief wash over him and he silently cried at her side.

.

Solas' and Eirlana's room slowly filled up. Ryan, Vivienne, Cassandra, Cullen and Leliana had come and even Varric had snuck inside. Some were eyeing Eirlana suspiciously, others were relieved she was awake.

Two days had gone by and Eirlana was awake longer each time she woke up. She was still weak and Solas' had protested heavily to have so many people present to question her what had happened. He sat protectively by her side and was prepared to send everyone away as soon as he would notice it would be too much for her.

He was worried, she hadn't talked much since she came to. She was still too much in shock, her mind and body recovering from what had happened to her. When he told her Ryan wanted to talk to her she had simply nodded, and now they were here.

"Tell us what happened." Ryan began. "What did they want from you?"

Taking a deep breath Eirlana began to tell them in a weak voice, occasionally she fell silent or needed to take a break. She told them how she was ambushed, how they had drugged her and broke her hands and how she had tried to escape. She told them how the templars brought her to Imshael and how he tried to have her possessed by a desire demon.

Solas tried to hold her hand to reassure her, but she pulled back from his touch. It hurt him, since she had woken up he had noticed she was shying away from him. He tried to respect her distance but it was hard to not be able to hold her and comfort her.

Eirlana continued and told them how the desire demon had tortured her and tried to tempt her with things she wanted, how she suffered from the red lyrium growing inside her and how she knew she was slowly dying.

"Then what happened?" Ryan asked.

What happened? Eirlana fell silent. What had happened? She wasn't exactly sure.

.

Out of the mist Xebenkeck lunged at her, still recovering from the intensified pain Eirlana wasn't quick enough to dodge the attack. Xebenkeck's claw sliced her arm open before she could defend herself with a lightning-strike. The demon jumped back and before it could attack again, Eirlana hurled a stonefist towards it, propelling the demon even farther away. Shrieking loudly the demon disappeared into the mist again.

Knowing Xenbenkeck could attack her at any moment Eirlana waited. Than the Fade shifted around her once again, something else was here with her.

She startled when Falon'Din suddenly appeared in front of her. He stared at her with a calculating look. _"So, we meet again."_ he gave her a small smile. _"Did you really think you could get away from me?"_

Taken aback Eirlana subdued her initial panic. Falon'Din had followed her. She could sense he was not a demon, nor was he a spirit. He was to complex and too powerful to be a dreamer. He was something else.

" _You are not really here."_ she whispered.

In a flash, he stood right in front of her. _"What did you say?"_

" _You are not really here."_ she held her ground. _"You are like a dreamer, but different. It is like you exist here in the Fade and you're not."_

" _Aren't you a clever little girl? What has that Mutton been teaching you?"_

Another wave of pain shot through her. She knew in the waking world the red lyrium was consuming her body. Staggering she slumped to the ground in cramping pain. Taking deep breaths she fought back, she couldn't give up.

Falon'Din studied her for a moment. _"You are not well. Poison is running through your veins."_

She smiled tiredly. _"You are right. Some things have not changed since the time of Elvhenan. People still use others for their own gain."_ gritting her teeth she got to her feet again.

" _Why do you try to resist? You will lose this battle, is it not better to give in and let things proceed in its natural order?"_

Laughing tiredly she shook her head. _"If I would give in, I would have died a long time ago."_

Through the mist echoed a shriek, Xebenkeck had returned. Gathering the last of her energy her staff materialised in her hand. With a small gesture, her protective shield came up. _"Sorry Falon'Din, I need to take care of this first."_

He looked amused at her but disappeared from sight.

.

Xebenkeck's attacks were fierce. Eirlana wondered if the demon had noticed the weakening summoning circle because the demon was clearly done playing around with her. She tried to defend herself as best as she could with her weakened state.

Out of nowhere another shot of severe pain convulsed through her, and for a moment she lost her concentration. Xebenkeck immediately took advantage and slashed her several times, ripping her staff out of her hands. It grabbed her by the throat and lifted her up. It smiled triumphantly and hissed. "You are mine."

"You have to kill me first." Eirlana wheezed. It was over. She had nothing left to give.

Suddenly the demon's yes turned rigid when a hand smashed through its chest. Slowly the demon fell apart into nothingness.

No longer having the strength Eirlana collapsed, but before she hit the ground Falon'Din caught her in one arm while he shook the hand that had gone through the demon with disgust.

She lay limp in his arms trying to regain control of herself again, but the sickening song of red lyrium was now all-consuming, she barely could form a coherent thought. Falon'Din was studying her with great interest, but she couldn't read his intent. His eyes were dark, hard and cold and if she wouldn't be in such a bad way, she would be intimidated by him.

" _You have never bowed, have you?"_ he asked her.

Starting to cough and shiver, Eirlana let out a breathless laugh. _"I have bowed plenty of times in my life."_

" _Yet, you still have your pride, has he rubbed off on you?"_

" _I haven't lost myself. If that is what you mean."_ she wheezed.

" _You are not afraid of me?"_

He still stared at her and she could feel the power that he possessed. She knew he was once like a god, but she had also seen parts of the life in Elvhenan. She had seen the beauty and the dark side of life of the common Elvhen people, the lives they had lived. Lives that he had help to shape.

" _I am not afraid of you, I am afraid of what you might do if you ever walked on Thedas again."_

Falon'Din laughed hard. _"Well, don't you have a unique spirit."_

Now she had to laugh. He looked puzzled at her.

" _My teacher has told me the same thing."_

" _Did he, now?"_ there was a twinkle in his eye she couldn't place.

" _I am curious, do you really think that Dog will save the Elvhen people?"_ He saw the confusion on her face. _"You don't know, do you? You don't know what he has done."_

Eirlana convulsed again in pain, she could feel her spirit getting thinner. It wouldn't be long now. _"At least he tried something."_ If the legends of Fen'Harel were true he had banished the elven gods and knowing the fate of common Elvhen people she was glad he had tried to do something to stop them.

Falon'Din laughed again. _"You are really unique, never has a mortal had the pleasure to pique the interest of three Evanuris."_ he smiled coldly at her. _"I will help you."_

" _Why would you help me?"_

" _As thanks to a very old friend. Now sleep."_ He brushed his hand over her eyes, she could feel magic engulfing her body and him saying. _"Until we next meet, little girl. I'm looking forward to it."_ Then darkness took her until she woke up at Skyhold again.

.

"I am not sure what happened." Eirlana continued. "The summoning circle that trapped me was suddenly vanishing. I escaped the demon, but the red lyrium poisoning overtook me. I faded away in the Fade. I thought I had died until I woke up here two days ago."

She lied, but this was not the time nor the place to tell them what had happened. Nor was it the place to tell Soles she knew who he really was. There were too many people here and she needed more time to process what had happened. She needed time to think and time to grief.


End file.
